Me, myself and getting sober

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, I've just finished writing this big long bull shit paper and stopped in here to see if you had responded and I'm still giggling. An antidepressant that takes care of depression? :H:H yes...I see your point.
As to the everything right...you pretty much nailed it in your post, actually. I got so sick and damn tired of writing about all of the things wrong in treatment, wrong with the whole diagnosis, outlook, blah, blah, blah, that I've decided to just focus on the positive stuff--even in the crap that makes me cringe. (Although there is one woman whose paper I read that I want to track down and put in a body lock. or whatever. Some sort of wrestling move. Though I suppose that taping her mouth shut and keeping her fingers from typing inane bull shite would do the job. Ah, yes...back to the positive stuff... )
It's the continuing to look for options. And giving yourself a break. (I'm not stirring the pot by suggesting that abstinence is not for all of us. It just isn't. I'm also not suggesting it isn't for you. I'm just suggesting that it's okay that it's not for you right now. And I'm glad you're aware of that.) And the group, and the hobbies, and the sleeping when you need it, and the eating and the dancing and...

Wow. Take a look at that list!
Rock on.
Back tomorrow. :l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

:lx:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Something thats been bugging me, I joined MWO on Aug 2009, I can vaguley remember posting, last year I tried HDB and know I was posting about that, where have my posts gone? Does anyone have any idea whats happened here, has anyone lost their posts as well?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

I think there is a time limit. You can find the posts still, as in they are still there on the threads, but they aren't listed when you search by name. I mostly know this because when I try to track down posts from people who have been here for ages (usually lo0p or tiptronic_ct, those aged baclofentist grandpas :H) I have to remember what thread I was looking at. This does not bode well for the future, as the harder I study the more I forget.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thats because you are learning more to forget

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I think I have just made a discovery about myself and want to put it here so I dont forget. Lately I have been getting crap from the past coming back into my head, especially of an afternoon, early evening, I have also got the inside shaking going on as well. I think this is to do with the citalopram I am taking, I can now remember that I had this last time I took it which is why I changed but when the psychiatrist said she wanted me to try it again, along with the serequel I couldnt remember why I had stopped taking it before. I will ring them tomorrow to make an appointment to see her, I dont know how long I will have to wait, not to long I hope.

[redhead77]

Me, myself and getting sober

spacebebe01;1293336 wrote: Anyway, I have got some vitamins and stuff here and am already taking them

Omega 3
Vit C
Vit B complex
Evening primrose
Multivits & Minerals A - Z
Calcium & Vit D
Magnesium
Chromium
Siberian Ginseng
Glucosamine
Co-enzyme Q10

If anyone has any ideas, info, comments on what I am about to be doing I will appreciate it.

Hi Bebe,

I saw your list of supps some time ago and never responded. Are you still taking them and how much do you take? I don't see anything here that would interact with antidepressants or anything else you're taking (but, I will say the usual disclaimer: I'm not a doctor as we all know.) Doctors don't often check out supps anyway. Anyone I've seen asks me what I take. I don't disclose the baclofen or naltrexone, but I do always say "I take a large number of supps. Do you want a list?" They always say no, which in my case makes me chuckle. Well, except for Dr L. He asked, and then I've never supplied it to him, which totally sucks on my part! Oh, I don't know much about Siberian Ginseng. I know it's thought to increase energy, but I couldn't speak specifically to that one.

Anyway, I was just wondering if you're keeping up with them. I don't think it's a bad idea (and probably important) for alcoholics or people with alcohol dependence (the PC term) to supplement, at least with certain things. The B vitamins most certainly. It's a proven fact that chronic abuse of alcohol will depelete many vitamins and minerals. Depletion of B1 can actually cause something called Werneke-Korsakoff syndrome. So I think it's really smart on your part. You may even notice a postive improvement in time. It can take a while and feel subtle with these things. The same with a healthy diet. You don't notice how much it helps you until you stop, at least that's been my personal experience. (Now I don't stop. )

I just wanted to say that I'm in your corner. I'm always wishing the best for you. I think being deficient in certain things could certainly cause or contribute to depression, too.

[redhead77]

Me, myself and getting sober

I get crap coming back in my head from the past too. It's starting to get better, but for a while it made me crazy. Sometimes I can't sleep at night (this is outside of the bac induced insomnia). It's horrible to lay awake with your mind thinking back to everything you should have done differently. All the crap decisions you made when you were drunk. For me, even things that happened when I wasn't drunk (being drunk, helped me block some things out). In my case, drinking was a double edged sword. I think time helps. At least I hope it does. :l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks for the reply and support Red. I do still take the supps, pretty much the same as the list with the exception of chromium, I finished to tub and didnt replace it. I have also started have this strange drink I make with chlorella, spirulina and barley grass powder mixed with juice, it is proper green, like you say its hard to say if these things are doing me any good, I dont intend to stop so I can find out tho.

At times thoughout life drinking can definately go both ways, for me anyway, when my depression was really bad a good few years ago and I was obsessed with killing myself, I couldnt stop thinking about it, I was going to bed praying I wouldnt wake up I think drinking could actually have saved my life, it was the only was to get a break from wanting to top myself,now tho I dont feel like that anymore, Im very glad to say so I dont need that oblivion anymore.

I think bac helps in calming my brain, and for that I am grateful to everyone on this site who have helped me.

xx

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks for the reply and the support Red. I do still take the supps pretty much the same ones with the exception of chromium, I finished the pot and never bought more. I am also making a strange drink with chlorella, spirulina and barkey grass powders mixed with juice, like you said tho I dont know if any of this stuff is doing me any good and ive got no intention of stopping it to find out.

In the past when my depression was very bad I was obessed with wanting to kill myself, it was on my mind all day long and then I would go to bed praying I didnt wake up in the morning, at that time I think alcohol may actually have saved my life by giving me a break from it, I am so glad to say I dont feel or think like that anymore, so I dont need that oblivion now.

I think bac helps calm my brain, and for that I am grateful to everyone here, for without MWO I wouldnt know about the meds, or know from real people who have taken them, I know I could still google but its not the same and would probably never have tried them.

xxx

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

A couple of thoughts from the universe for you ladies.

Do you ever wonder where all those glorious seconds, minutes, and hours go that recently poured through your fingers on an idle weekend or a cool evening, when suddenly you feel like you're racing the clock on some crazed, hurried weekday?
Nowhere. They're still there, Bruun, lazing around. They just look different when you focus upon what you haven't done, instead of what you have done.


And this one came last week, I can't find the email nor recall the message well, except that it said that every life is a work of art. Much art has disturbing parts, difficult colors, joy and happinesss and boredom. Our lives are our unique paths and they are our art, the path we were supposed to follow. Thus, no regrets. Without each 'lesson' including these regrets, we wouldn't be the person we are and will be. We would have been much less than we are and will be.
:l
Down with regrets, they're a waste of energy spent better elsewhere.


Love and hugs to you all, and to you who read and don't write too. :h

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Bump. Where are ya, Space? R U OK?

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Bruun, Im here, thanks for bumping my thread, I have been going on the topa thread as well as the AB nal thread, its so quiet round here these days I dont know why. Im ok, same old same old nothing much changing. I know its my own fault, not doing enough and stuff but Im finding things boring right now, I mean in my head not in outside life.

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

I know that boredom, Space, and for me it leads to thinking about regrets and bad memories which leads to depression.

One thing that this thing I'm doing, this school thing I invested tuition money in does, is take away the feeling I'm going nowhere, and the depression related to that and focusing on negative stuff.

Socializing never did that for me, although it helps; this has given me hope that someday I'll be self sufficient without an employer and I won't be a bag lady when I'm 65. All good things. Outlaying the cash for the tuition was frightening for me, as its all at once and enough for a down payment on a condo. But I'm investing in me. Is there something you can do like that? It took me years to find something I thought might work, so you could perhaps start seeking that something that will keep you learning and growing.

xxoo

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Earlier on today I started reading through some of my old posts, I had to stop reading tho because I couldnt stand to see me, straring right in the face. I have been told by family, doctors,aa, anyone who could get it in really that all I needed to do was sort my drink problem and things would get better, and in some ways I wanted to believe that, I wanted that so much but I have always known that would not be the case and that is what is happening again, except this is the first time I have tried doing it without being AF, (if someone says that maybe its the lager doing it I will want to punch them in the face) I am optimistic that this time I wont end up on vodka again because of that. so maybe that is my safety net to get this sorted, although how I propose to do that I dont know, in fact this time I dont even know where to start looking. I could say I have given up on ever getting help of doctors, although I cant give up with them, one of them may someday be able to help me. A few weeks ago after the last bender I went on I had a week of feeling great, I was able to do things like I hadnt been able to in years, I thought I had it sorted only to come crashing down again and to stay there, then I thought just let it happen and the depression will pass but it hasnt, so after weeks of messing around with the doctors I increased one of my meds on Friday night, I should have done this weeks ago but my gp messed up and I still havent got the script sorted, there is no point in my seeing the psychiatrist until I have given this a go because she will just tell me to do that. All day yesterday I was in a state of anxiety, I was shaking most of the day, I know this is probably die to the med, I took the increased dose again last night and today back to normal, depressed, flat, invasive thoughts.

Over the years through a lot of hard work and trying everything my belief is still kind of the same, there is no chicken and egg here, my depression caused my drinking which in turn I became addicted to alcohol. I am not now addicted to alcohol and believe I know enough about myself and my condition to be able to separate the two conditions. Therefore, if people with chonic anxiety like OA can sort the drink problems with bac by eleiviating the anxiety, their major issue, then is there a med that can do this when depression is the major issue? I believe bac has done wonders for me in a lot of ways and without it I would never have go this far but I also know it is not whole answer. I am probably just repeating myself here, I am not expecting to be given answers, I am rather hoping that by talking "aloud" on here I will find the answers somehow either from within myself or from another person. I have trawled the site, I have checked out meds, I have read pages and pages from other forums, I know the answer must be there somewhere. I will keep looking.