Me, myself and getting sober

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I will take a look at that Play thanks x

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hey ladies!
Just wanted to say hi.
Play, the kinesiology sounds cool. I may look into it myself. I remember you talking of your daughter's struggles, and I'm glad she's found something that works for her!
Space and Bruun, I'm trying to be "healthier" and it just feels like I'm denying myself anything that gives me pleasure: booze, cigarettes, fatty food, Law and Order marathons.
It sucks.
Space, I'm glad that the wedding preparations are coming along! It's inspiring to have new beginnings after such a hard loss.
Thninking of all you guys...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

Morning/afternoon, peeps!
WCL, I've been trying to figure out what it is about humans (or maybe just me?) that makes doing what makes us feel good (exercise, etc) vs. what makes me feel bad (sitting on my arse) so damn hard. What IS that?
Why is chocolate a reward and a salad a punishment?? (Okay, lousy example.) I wish I had your taste in food, Space. I am much too easily swayed by the idea of picking up lunch (or breakfast or dinner) on the run, rather than actually shopping, cooking and sitting to eat in an actual room, not a car. erg.
Still looking for the balance...
Hope you guys are finding some, too.
xo

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Play are you there???? You must be in Spain now, I hope the flight went ok. How is your daughter? sorry my last response was so short I had to go, its wonderful that she has found something that works for her at long last. Depression just drags on forever and I now how hard it is when nothing seems to help, so I will look that up, Im wondering tho if its also the therapist she has found as well as what she is doing, thats another though thing is finding a good therapist that you can trust.

Anyway I hope you enjoy your time with your family in Spain and get plenty of Play time as well. xxx

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

Quiet as a church on Monday around here. Or is it just that I'm feeling chatty and avoiding the remedial math I'm studying? (Really. Basic fractions. How do I not remember this??? aaaaaargh. Anyway.)

I've been stuck in a bit of inertia. And it occurs to me that getting out of inertia is very different than being in the moment...being patient, being present. Inertia is just...blah.

I don't have a wedding to prepare for... Hope that's fun, Space.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Well I am still getting this fucking awful goddamn tiredness/exhaustion, if anything it is getting worse so I reckon I can rule out bac as the culprit. Im now thinking this is not se's caused by meds but something actually wrong with me, I will see me doc again last week, thats another thing, I got to see him the gp one so much I feel like a stalker, he gave me a weeks worth of diazipan last week and I just know hes going to say that caused it, I havent taken them yet because of this. Im so sick of this, last night I was in such a bad way, I had to go to bed at 7, I have no clue when my son went to bed he was knackered this morning when I got him up so he could have been up all night on his pc. My lifestyle right now is not that much different from when I was drinking really, I cant bloody do anything much I wake up, do the bare necessities then go back to bed. THIS IS TOTALLY PISSING ME OFF

The weather is lovely outside, sunny and warm and the fact that we only really get a few days a year of this makes it worse because I cant even go out and enjoy it. ARGG.

I am still AF, taking the occasional AB, dont know why its occasional think its that part of me wants to be able to have a drink and not be forced not to, but the other part of me knows that I feel this shit without drink I dont need anything to make me feel worse, and I will never get this sorted if I drink as well.

I am taking 25mg of serequel, down from 50mg. Since I started taking it I have put on around a stone and this tiredness got worse. I dont know whether there are any withdrawals going on from the reduced dose but as far as I can see this drug has done nothing positive for me at all. It has extended my depressive episodes, made me more tired, put weight on me, I have not had any manic episodes since I started it but that wasnt that bad before, my biggest problem was the major depression. I see my psychiatrist next week at long last, Ive not been able to see her for 3 months now she has such a massive patient load, thats the NHS for you and even if I have to take someone with me I need to get this sorted then.

I am just waiting for my youngest son to come home from school and am going to take him to the local Retail Park (thats kind of like a Mall but outdoors, well obviously the shops are indoors but the whole things isnt its shops built around a big car park, why an I going on about this?) he wants to get a game and I will take him to McDonalds for his tea he will like that I hope so that will cheer me up.

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hang in there space. You know it could be the Seroquel. There are people that hate that med. It's an antipsychotic. I will take 25 mg on rare occasion as a sleep aid. It knocks me out but it can have that zombie effect.
Do you have to be on that? Can you try not taking it for a while? Maybe titrate down to half a pill for a while and stop. See how you feel after that.

Did you mean diazepam aka valium? That can tire you out but you can also get used to it. What is the dosage he gave you? I would use that as needed more than anything else but people that get panic attacks do take it every day. That and clonazepam.
Maybe you need more of a stimulant than these traditional treatments. Perhaps an anti depressant which have their own SE's. I could not handle them myself nor do I think I ever needed them.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks COS, I am titrating down off the serequel now, I was on 100mg but not for long so have been mostley on 50, I have read round a few forums about the withdrawals so I am doing it very slowly.

Yes I do mean valium, he only gives me 21 pills at 2mg? for when I get panick attacks and my anxiety gets really bad, his idea is I just take them for a week but I have only taken 2 of them so I know its not them causing it. Its not prescribed here for long term use for panic attacks only for short term anxiety.

Before I saw the psychiatrist I was taking effexor and think I was better on that but them she changed it to serequel and citalopram, I have had citalopram before and dont like it, it just kind of numbs me out so I dont feel anything and told her this, if she refuses to change the meds then I will ask can my gp restart the effexor and I will drop the psychiatrist, tho maybe thats not a good idea.

I do need these meds, I get awful depression and without them my head just gets full of shit so its hard to find something that works without ruining the quality of my life. I do find a barrier I think when I mention that I suffer from depression, I dont think its taken seriously as so many people are now diagnosed with it and given antidepressants who probably dont actually have major depression at all, so its like well these pills work on them whats up with you.

I will send you a pm COS I do want to ask you about something.

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Yeah, Space, maybe a different AD would help. Something associated with more energy...have you ever been on wellbutrin or prozac?
Anyhow, no real words of wisdom here. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.
Hugs!

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

sounds good. 2 mg xanax is strong. I'd be concerned about taking that much. Maybe we can set up a call although I know that is tough with the time diff.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks Windy and COS

Windy, so lovely to hear from you, where have you been, how are you, I miss you:l

Its valium I get COS not xanax, I think 2mg is the lowest dose, whatever yesterday morning when I was feeling pretty shakey and crap I took one and it does help. I even managed to go to my group but then after going food shopping as well I was done in again and back in bed around 6pm after I had made dinner for me and the lads. I need to see my doc again but also want the meds I ordered from him on wednesday which are due to be ready today, I dont want him to suddenly pull the plug on gabapentin or co codamol so I will wait until Monday to see him then.

Wellbutrin isnt licenced for use as an ad here, only as a stop smoking aid so ironically I cant get it for either use, cant have it fro stopping smoking as I already take ssri. I keep on hearing about prozac being mentioned on here, does that help give peeps energy has anyone taken it, I could definately ask to be changed to that.

I aways guess that anyone in the US is around 6 hours behind us, even tho I know you have time differences across the country it is way too complicated for me to start working out everyones time. I have never used skype either. I dont have a cam on my laptop. My 12 year old son is my pc wizzkid here and he is always on skype tho, even to his mate in the next street.

Do you have good summers in Colorado COS, I think its cold and snowy there in the winter isnt it. It looks lovely, one of the places I would like to visit when I get lots of money, an RV and a driver guy to tour around America .. ie never..:H I dont know much about your city either Windy, what the whethers like there but I think you are hotter than COS being further South, do you get really hot tho. Its raining here today .. again.

Even tho I have these exhaustion problems right now I have realised that I am a million miles away from my heavy drinking days, all the things that looked like failures at first, going to detox's and rehab and comming out and drinking again, getting some time here and there and drinking again, trying bac and having to stop, twice, have all added up over the years to changing me and my drinking from the days I drank every day, was pissed most days and didnt think I could/would stop until now I want to say that I dont think I could ever go back to that, apart from the fact that now my body physically cant take it in that it makes me so ill just after a few days of heavy drinking I also believe that changes have happened in my brain and mind now. Dont get me wrong, I knwo that if I were to stop trying and working on this the addiction would eventually catch me and then it would be all or nothing in the way that I would just end up drinking myself to death and not being able to do anything about it, but for some reason, something stops that happening, even when I have drank I have somehow been able to stop myself desending to the point of no return. I am waffling on here and not going anywhere with this so I will shut up, this is the kind of gibberish I can only really feel comfortable putting on my own thread

:l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

spacebebe01;1338777 wrote:
Even tho I have these exhaustion problems right now I have realised that I am a million miles away from my heavy drinking days, all the things that looked like failures at first, going to detox's and rehab and comming out and drinking again, getting some time here and there and drinking again, trying bac and having to stop, twice, have all added up over the years to changing me and my drinking from the days I drank every day, was pissed most days and didnt think I could/would stop until now I want to say that I dont think I could ever go back to that, apart from the fact that now my body physically cant take it in that it makes me so ill just after a few days of heavy drinking I also believe that changes have happened in my brain and mind now. Dont get me wrong, I knwo that if I were to stop trying and working on this the addiction would eventually catch me and then it would be all or nothing in the way that I would just end up drinking myself to death and not being able to do anything about it, but for some reason, something stops that happening, even when I have drank I have somehow been able to stop myself desending to the point of no return. I am waffling on here and not going anywhere with this so I will shut up, this is the kind of gibberish I can only really feel comfortable putting on my own thread

:l

I feel the same way. I mean, I know that what I'm struggling with right now is a pain, and feels like a slippery slope into something that would really suck, my mind and body are just different now. It's the kind of thing I thought would happen in a program--some sort of spiritual reinvention or rebirth or something. But instead it's just...different.

Glad you made it to group, Space. And sorry it's so hard to just get up and get out.

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Sorry space. I was thinking 2mg of clonazepam. That is a very light dose. So that probably is not making you tired. 5mg is a light dose on valium. My mistake.
There are so many threads going on I just can't keep up with them lately. I try to glance through and weigh in but I have so much work and my company is merging a lot of things right now and laying off 27000 people so I have to be on my game.

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Oh btw, there's another site you might find info on AD and all these meds.
pharmacyreviewer.com. I know it's really oriented at online pharmacies but there are sections on pain, depression, ADHD, you name it. I've gotten some good info there.
It's not a chatty type forum. It's more like I am taking this and I feel like this what are your experiences.
You will get a lot of people with a lot of experience giving their $.02. You have to weigh what you see since not everyone reacts the same and have the same opinions. It is good though on specific meds. Responses make take a little longer so be patient.
Just a thought.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks COS, I will check it out, unlike you I do have lot of time to spend on here, I did have a hairdressing job to do today and couldnt even make it to that, it was a bit of a big deal as well, someone wanting to change hairdressers, its a long time since I have done work like this and was hoping to start building up some clients but theres nothing I can do about it right now, its done and no use worrying over it.