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    Me, myself and getting sober

    The shoes sound badass, Space! Good for you!
    Just wanted to say hey, and that I'm thinking of you...
    "Yet someday this will have an end
    All choices made or choice resigned,
    And in your face the literal eye
    Trace little of your history,
    Nor ever piece the tale entire
    Of villages that had to burn
    And playgrounds of the will destroyed
    Before you could be safe from time
    And gather in your brow and air
    The stillness of antiquity."

    From "At Majority" by Adrienne Rich

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      Me, myself and getting sober

      Thinking of you too :l

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        Me, myself and getting sober

        BIG HUGS!!!
        "Yet someday this will have an end
        All choices made or choice resigned,
        And in your face the literal eye
        Trace little of your history,
        Nor ever piece the tale entire
        Of villages that had to burn
        And playgrounds of the will destroyed
        Before you could be safe from time
        And gather in your brow and air
        The stillness of antiquity."

        From "At Majority" by Adrienne Rich

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          Me, myself and getting sober

          Hey Space, sorry. I couldn't keep up very well last week 'cause I hate looking at stuff on my phone. For some reason I just can't keep track of it very well in my head that way. Anyway, now I'm reading but it's like trying to join a conversation I don't really feel like I'm in... I should just get over myself, huh?

          I had a pink cowboy hat once, with these white frills and a light-up glittery thing on the front that said "Princess." I was in Pamplona for the Festival de San Fermin--yes, I ran with the bulls--and we bought the absolute worst hat one of these hat vendors had. Got a lot of attention from chicks, actually, and not in a bad way... By the end of the night I was so wasted, and getting really annoyed that these guys were still trying to sell us hats, and being rather pushy about it trying to make us "deals," that I started trying to sell my hat to them. And I was being a total dick about it and thought I was freaking hysterical, and probably was...

          Anyway, yes, LA really is 5 or 6 lane expressways everywhere, and they really are filled with bumper-to-bumper traffic most of the time. They call them "freeways" here, but I still can't seem to get into the habit of calling them that--but hey, I can't drive on them either. :H Chicago actually feels claustrophobic now, with only 3 lane expressways.

          But there's a mountain ridge that runs along the north side of the city, all the way to the ocean. So when the smog isn't bad, and you can actually see the mountains (they're right there, only a couple miles away, but sometimes you really can't see them through the pollution), you can see snow up on the top of them all year except the middle of summer. I live kind of where LA goes from being flat to working its way up toward that mountain ridge. So I've got my hill that I live on top of, and I can look out my living room window at the LA skyline, and I can look out the other living room window and see the mountains. If it weren't for the apartment building next to me, I'd be able to see the Hollywood sign, too.

          My neighborhood is fairly old, and impoverished. It was LA's 1st suburb, for rich folks trying to get out of downtown. Lots of big Victorian houses and small streets winding through the hills. Now it's mostly Mexican families, but there are plenty of hipsters trying to gentrify it. 5 years ago you wouldn't be able to walk outside after dark, and there's still the occasional shooting around here. LAPD has a lot of police helicopters, and they circle the neighborhood all the time. When they're circling, shining their spotlights down over my apartment, it's no big deal. Sometimes I can hear them talking through the microphones, saying fun things like "arms in the air, get on your knees." You can tell something's really going down when 4 or 5 of them just hover in a circle around one spot. That's when you simply avoid wherever they're hanging out.

          LA's weird, 'cause the downtown is so small. Maybe a dozen skyscrapers. And the rest of LA feels like suburbs to me, with lots of mid-rise buildings and mile after mile of 2 or 3 story apartments, strip malls, and offices. There's just no "middle." You're never in one spot and thinking where you are in relation to downtown, like I would in Chicago, so it's tough to get a feel for where things are.

          And yes, there really are palm trees everywhere. Not much else that's green, though, since there's no rain and anything green has to be irrigated nightly.

          I guess all this is to say I'm still around. Just getting back into my routine. But that routine is going to change again soon, as the semester gets started. I'll try my best!

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            Me, myself and getting sober

            Hey Space! I checked the threads a few times yesterday and noticed no one was aournd...I just did not have anything to say...Sorry you were bored! And no one was here! I will pop in to say hi from now on! Baseball game today then school supply shopping.

            Have a good day Space! Oh, and better practice walking in those shoes!!
            "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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              Me, myself and getting sober

              spacebebe01;1366291 wrote: Do you think thats why people think heels are sexy, because you have to lie down when you wear them.
              I think it's because they increase and improve the calves, which supposedly make the legs sexier. But really I think men find them sexy because a woman has made an effort to look sexy. It could be shoes, clothes, hair, whatever. It's just like they're holding a sign saying "I want you to think I'm hot!".

              Sorry if I've disillusioned anyone about high heels and stuff.
              "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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                Me, myself and getting sober

                So if I cant be arsed with doing the shoes, clothes and hair can I just carry a sign, will that work do you think

                and will a post it note on my forhead do or will I need to get a sandwich board thing :H

                Hi Taw, I have been practicing wearing the shoes lol, and it actually does do something because when I put them on I want to get dressed up and go out somewhere and show them off, say look at me in my sexy shoes.

                Stuck thanks for the description of where you live, I look forward to hearing more, I could tell you about where I live but its just too boring to bother so I wont, it could help you sleep tho if I did. I am hearing you about the worries about work and bac, I would be worried as well, especially when you say you have to do reading and stuff, I think its easier to do physical stuff when my bodies crying out for sleep or just not functioning but trying to concentrate on anything is near impossible. I think you probably are right tho to hold where your at and then when you off for a few days go up again then. I know I have never done this so I may just be talking crap tho.

                :l

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                  Me, myself and getting sober

                  Midnight and Im in bed with a film and a pack of mnm's

                  Goodnight maties :l

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                    Me, myself and getting sober

                    Only one pack? :H

                    Hugs and sweet dreams,
                    :l
                    On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                    *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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                      Me, myself and getting sober

                      OMG, Space, you are just cracking me up, now my son would say that Yes, South Park is probably a documentary of real life in Colorado just because he loves it so much (Colo. and South Park) and Stuck wow, what a description of life in Los Angeles, do you ever want to leave? is that why you call yourself "StuckInLA"?, but don't you travel? maybe I'm not quite sure what you do, I didn't know you were a cowboy.

                      love, play

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                        Me, myself and getting sober

                        And Oh Yes Space, don't get too attached to your sexy High Heels, I've seen women who have lived in them for pretty much their whole lives and the tendon in their heels shorten and their feet are in a permanently "high heel position", now you don't want to be that sexy, LOL.

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                          Me, myself and getting sober

                          In bed with M&Ms? Does that offer to share still stand, Space?

                          And loving the heels conversation, by the way. And while I appreciate the instinct to show them off, there's no need to add a whole bunch of (any) clothes. Just put on the heels and prance around the flat, and I bet that'll look just as good

                          Not sure why guys like 'em so much. M's right, pretty much, but it feels like there might be more. Then again, I do like tall women, so maybe that's it--and they're easy to spot in a crowd but impossible to find, if ya' know what I mean. Though the rest of it, the post-it and sandwich board and all, has me in stitches right now!

                          And Play, yeah I'm getting out of LA as soon as humanly possible. I knew I didn't want to be here before I even moved here, but this was my only option for school. If an evil genie rubs his hands together, with a wicked evil grin, and aligns the stars against me so that I have to stay, I might be OK with moving back down to Long Beach. I lived there the first 2 years I was out here, and it's pretty nice down there. I was a block from the ocean, walking distance to a couple good caf?s, a few great bars, and there was a lot more green space down there than there is in LA. A huge park right across the street from my front stoop, where I'd sit in my bathrobe and smoke and drink Irish coffee and watch quinceaneras, or whatever.

                          But a lot of things were going on when I thought up "stuck." Stuck in LA, I was also stuck at a particular dose of bac for a long time, stuck as an alcoholic in a drunken mess, stuck in the past and thinking about bad/failed relationships, and awkward failing relationships that weren't even relationships at the time (though those are coming back again, suddenly...). Or, you can just think of all of MWO as a great big late night call-in radio program. You know, like I'm Sleepless in Seattle or something, only it's Sleepless in LA at this point. :H But that loses all the alliteration and so doesn't work at all, really.

                          Not that I thought of all that stuff when I came up with the name, it just worked out that way and I'm sooooooo happy. 'Cause I'm pleased as punch with myself for it, and play with it constantly. And people can work it into conversations in fun and funny ways.

                          Like, so here's a good story for everyone, last Thursday night I was at a bar with this ex-girlfriend. She really wanted to show me the bar where she works because she loves it and she just got promoted to manager. So we're there hanging out, and her kid is with us. He's almost 9, and playing this board game where the board's broken into a couple pieces, and he's making up all these weird rules, and making us play even though he's moving the pieces for us. Long set-up, sorry.

                          So my pieces get to a part of the board where it's ripped, so he just stops and leaves my pieces there. And so the ex is asking him what happens now, and the kid's saying some off-the-cuff explanation, and the ex says So you mean he's just stuck?


                          And I almost fell off my chair, and had no way of explaining why it was all so funny. Couldn't even blame it on being drunk, 'cause I wasn't drinking... Oh well, long random story. And I'm only leaving it here 'cause I know you don't mind me rambling away on your thread, Space.

                          Hope you're sleeping nice and soundly. :l

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                            Me, myself and getting sober

                            Hi all, have I spoken to you today?? maybe not Ive been very busy.

                            Hey Stuck whats this, you where in a bar with an ex girlfriend and NOT DRINKING, WOW. theres not really much else to say there is there. Did you even realise how massive that is when you where doing it. My sons both say LA is on there must go to list, it is on mine but thats because I want to drive Route 66, ahh one of my dreams, to hire a trike and drive route 66, but then to get my guy (I havent found him yet) to hire an RV to drive around everywhere else, not those bloody big 5 lane freeways tho, they look like the stuff of nightmares not dreams. I want to see bears and cougars and other things. But then I also want to go to lots of other places too, if I had the money I would be a worldwide traveller for a while, I have one of those aunties whose not actually related but is my aunties best friend, well anyway when she was around 60 she met a man and they got together, they both owned their own houses so she sold hers and moved into his and they spent the money going all over the place and too some really odd places, they where like well off pensioner backpackers, my mum thought they where mad but I think they are cool, they have had to stop now because of his health but now they are 80 and they have had 20 good years out of her house sale.

                            I know about those women getting trapped in heels forever Play, OMG, imagine when there 80, but dont worry there no danger of that happening to me, I wont be on the beach in Barcelona wearing stilleto flip flops. :H We all love South Park do you watch it, we call my youngest Butters because he is soooo like him, he doesnt mind tho because its a nice one, but since he has started having his teenage narkiness I have told him he is getting more like Cartman and he doesnt like that at all. Am I allowed to tell my friends on here our plans Play?? Its so cool you and Kradel have been joining in here, ooops and Wu too, its good for the bacsters and the topas to get to know each other, after all we a re all doing the same thing and the massive majority of us are here to help and support each other and are super friendly. I dont know what I would do without you all, I definately dont think I would be as ok as I am now even tho Im not there yet, in fact I know I wouldnt. But having said that where is there, we should never get there because when we come to the end of our journey and stop trying thats when we die, either in body or in soul.

                            Ohh that was a bit deep and serious for me wasnt it Actually I have been getting quite deep and serious about things lately, I am thinking of going to some kind of therapy even, but then I find it easier to talk when Im writing than when Im sitting in a room looking at some stranger so maybe I dont need a therapist I could do that privately with someone on line, really I think its about connecting with someone and saying whats going on with me and getting a bit of feedback isnt it? This has come about because of a few things, but a big jump start I have had is oddly from my psychiatrist, its odd because shes quite shit but by being shit she has learnt me that she is not going to give me the answers and help I need, only I can do that, she is just another tool and I should use her as such.

                            Its 1am here and I really should go to bed, my sleeping pattern has been very messed up, I woke up this morning at 8 to make a phone call, then went back to sleep and didnt get up until about 12.30 so Im not feeling ready for bed yet because Ive only been up just over 12 hours but I have to get up at 8 again tomorrow because I have a lot to do so I need to get some sleep soon.

                            Im worried now that I havent spoke to everyone so hello to anyone I havent mentioned, Bruun where have you gone again, come back to us, windy, ne, Mx

                            :l:l:ls & Xs

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                              Me, myself and getting sober

                              Morning!, or afternoon for you Space!

                              You are sounding so chipper lately! I am happy for you!!

                              Stilleto flip flops would be hard to wear in the sand! As a person that wears heels almost every day, not stilletos, mind you, but heels, you get used to wearing them! Flats feel odd to me!

                              If you make it to LA, Space, take Rt 66 west and come to Chicago!! No wild animals here, except for they random city coyote, but we have other cool things to see!!

                              Hope it is a good day for you Space!!
                              "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                                Me, myself and getting sober

                                spacebebe01;1366397 wrote: So if I cant be arsed with doing the shoes, clothes and hair can I just carry a sign, will that work do you think

                                and will a post it note on my forhead do or will I need to get a sandwich board thing :H
                                "Slapper" on the forehead in lipstick would probably do it. :H
                                "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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