Me, myself and getting sober

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space!

Sounds like the drink is betting better even if it's still an issue. That's a good thing. And hey, sometimes if you just go for it, well, it happens. At least it's not happening very often--and you're trying. That matters a lot.

If I can chime in, I'd say no way to swapping rooms. You're the mum here and it's your room. The living room sounds like a decent idea. Or anything, really. If everybody works together to figure out a solution, then he'll be just fine.

Love ya' :l

[SaguaroSon]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space: DO NOT SWITCH ROOMS WITH YOUR SON! I say this as someone with no kids, but here's why... After I left home, my younger brother started with a whole bunch of schemes and plots that were like this, and my parents, who were older and tired at that point, let him get away with it, as he only had a few years left before he'd be gone too. But it quickly left him with the idea that he could get away with ANYTHING. After a few minor infractions that they only gave him slaps on the wrist for, he STOLE ONE OF THEIR CARS for a long weekend and DROVE TO THE NEXT STATE. When he got back, (this was pre-cell phone) he explained that they let him take the car all night, they let him take it all day, so why wouldn't they let him take it to Lake Geneva for a three day weekend?

Maybe this is a false dichotomy, but I think it's a slippery slope... he needs to RESPECT YOUR AUTORITAY! ;-)

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

SaguaroSon;1379679 wrote: he needs to RESPECT YOUR AUTORITAY! ;-)

:H

He is 13 and started having teenage strops and moods and we always joke with him that he will turn into cartman if hes not careful

I have decide not to do the room swap, its not because I think he will start thinking he can take over, because I honestly dont think he will, and theres no way I could let him, my daughter whos now 25 was a total nightmare teen, they must have been the worst years of my life and I have no clue how we survived with any kind of relationship. I cant even tell you any of the things that happened because I cant bring myself to think about it.

I will buy him a new bed with storage drawers under to give him some more space to put stuff, when I decorated for him for his birthday I got rid of his wardrobe and gavi him a cupboard outside his room for his clothes so all he has in there now is his bed and pc and tv. The pc does take up a fair bit of room and causes heating problems so he has to have fans on all the time he is on it but he uses it for gaming and to buy a laptop with similar spec would cost over ?1000 so obviously thats not going to happen, but me and my eldest son are buying him a new pc for christmas so hopefully that will run a lot cooler.

I dont see parenting as a power thing, and have always struggled with the authority thing when I needed to put my foot down it didnt work, neither did talking at times but mostley my youngest son is a really good lad and hasnt caused me many problems (yet)

OK apart from that I went a bit nutty today, I have had a shower, done my hair and make up, put on decent(ish) for me clothes and then didnt know what to do, what had I got ready for, Im not going anywhere so I went shopping, and bought god knows what crap that we are going to have to spend the week eating.

Yesterday Sun on the topa thread was talking about sorting her supps and made me decide to do mine, so I put them in a week pill box so for the next week I know I will be taking them. Im still not sorted with my meds, going to give topa another go but I will go into that more on the other thread. I know there would be no point me taking AB right now because I would just be stopping taking it and counting the days until I can drink, I dont have the drive to go AF just now so I am keeping my fingers crossed about the topa and see where I go from there.

So thanks for all your input on the room thing, and just coming onto my thread, it makes me feel good when people want to talk to me :h

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi All,

I think it's very interesting that everyone without children chimes in with advice that sees only the worst things that can happen, my experiences come from having four children and expecting and having the best things happen.

I believe that in dealing with children and people in general, we get what we expect will be the out come, I would rather expect the positive rather than the negative, and I believe that people rise to what we expect from them.

I suppose the moral of my story is to Think Positve rather than Negative, and with that I will rest my case and Space you will have to decide how much you want your room, LOL.

Love Play

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Love ya and miss ya, Space! I'm gonna try to be around more now. Sounds like you made the right decision about the room. And, Play, your observation was very interesting!
I want to type more here and on other threads, but it's almost 2 AM here, and I haven't eaten dinner yet!
Hugs, sweetheart!!

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

playland;1380078 wrote:

I believe that in dealing with children and people in general, we get what we expect will be the out come, I would rather expect the positive rather than the negative, and I believe that people rise to what we expect from them.

I agree with you 100 % Play and the room thing isnt about authority or power or behaviour or whatever for us really, Ive thought about it and its more about practicality, things like I keep the bedding and stuff like that in here now, if I gave up the room where would I put it, Im not exagerating when I say my house is tiny, so things like that make a difference, but also, I probably should use my room and make it my own little space, I would probably feel so differently about it if I cleaned and tidied it and made it a nice place to be, rather than somewhere to sleep and dump the laundry and stuff. So I have been very grateful for all the opinions, yours included Play, you know I do very much love your help and advice and do actually agree with your point that he needs the space, but I also thought about what you said about things being for now, and right now thigs are ok, they are not bad so I will give myself a break and just leave it alone for now. :l

I am so tired, now to even think much about anything else to say really, I didnt get to sleep until 3am, didnt have a drink last night, I thought that was the reason, it may have been, or maybe not, who knows, it doesnt matter really just bloody tired. I was about to start waffling on there because I somehow feel like Im giving enough help or oh I dont know I will stop typing now because Im not going to make any sense in what I write and hopefully come back later on with a clearer mind.

I hope everyone has a lovely day

love ya lots xx :l

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hey Space!

Glad you decided to keep your room! I know that conversation will come up with my son at some point and I wondered what I would do! I would keep my room too.

Good for you on the low AL day! How are you feeling otherwise?? How is your daughter enjoying married life??

Have a good day, Space!
T

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Taw, great to hear from you, how are you doing?

My daughter is on honeymoon right now in Lanzorote, she went on Sunday and has already skyped me twice , it looks lovely where they are, palm trees and blue skys and sunshine, here its cold and wet and dark so I really hope they make the most of it.

Have a good day back to you and your son xx

[redhead77]

Me, myself and getting sober

I'm dealing with the room thing a little myself right now. My boys share a room so I can keep a spare bedroom available. I like having one in case I have house guests or if I have a sitter that needs to spend the night. Their room isn't very big, they sleep in bunkbeds, and they are both collectors of things. My oldest son keeps asking me when he's going to get his own room. I do things to try to give them more space for their things, but he's not going to be getting his own room any time soon... if ever. I then get the question of why do I have the biggest room with the biggest bed and nicest mattress? They'd have more room in there. My response is because I'm the adult and I pay the bills. When they're adults and pay the bills, they can buy whatever kind of bed and room they want.

Bebe, I'm glad your daughter is having a nice time on her honeymoon. I had to google Lanzorote. I had no idea where it was (don't even say anything :H). It looks beautiful!

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space, oh don't stress about the bedroom, it will work out, and just making a decision and feeling ok with it is probably the most important thing.

Now as I said over on the other thread, I will not hear of you not coming for our holiday in Spain. If you can keep your bedroom, then you can also keep our holiday:h, your son will have his Christmas, and what ever other holidays may come in the UK, but you are coming for our holiday, and that is all there is to it!!!

Love,
Play:h

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

You make me laugh play, you are wonderful, ok I am coming to spain.

Im not surprised you had to google Lanzorote Red its only a tiny island but its around a four hour flight from here with year round sunshine so that makes those group of islands quite popular to us Brits. Also although they are off the coast of Africa they are actually Spanish so its not too much of a culture shock, its still like being in Europe. We all went there last year and it is lovely.

So last night after the brain mess when I had one can at around 11pm thats all I drank, it was wierd, all evening I just kept forgetting about drink,and then when I did think about it I couldnt bring myself to want one, even tho I thought I should want one if that makes any sense.

I see my psychiatrist today, and its someone I havent seen before, I dont know why the change, I did intend to have everything sorted about what I wanted to say but I havent, I hope it goes ok and I dont get anxious and say Im ok so I can get out quicker like I have done before

The weather here is crap, its cold, dark and raining, very miserable.

Love ya's x

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

My new psychiatrist is good, hes a guy and was really easy to talk to and could explain things in a way that I could understand them. He has told me tho to take the rispiradone which I will do, I explained to him why I am scared to take that class of drugs and he drew a graph for me to show me how they work an said the dosage I have isnt high enough to do the kind of damage done to my cousin who is scitzophrenic who would be on a much higher dose and is a mess. I mean you can kind of physically see the medication in her if that makes any sense. Anyway back to me, my anxiety is sky high right now, I am down to 15mg bac and have been for 3 days, I came down from 20mg so there is nothing really in between I could do, I could go back up to 20 but then that would get me nowhere, so I will stick with 15mg for a while and see what happens. I cant say how long because I think I should stay here until the anxiety subsides. Although, still not sure about that, because when it gets really bad I take a valium so I could think Im ok but not be, oh fucking hell here I go again. I will stay at 15mg for another 4 days that will mean its a week. Decision made, my problem is I start thinking too much :H

Got to go and visit my auntie and cut her hair, I really cant be arsed but thats a selfish way to be really, shes old and stuck in her home and still grieving so I will pop a smile on my face and get cutting.
xx

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Oh Space,
I'm so happy you felt good about your new doc, and I think he sounds like one he is on the ball so maybe just try to feel comfortable with him. I suppose he doesn't know about the Bac, correct? Gee, that stuff really worries me, so I guess just hang tight in between going down, oh Space, the anxiety thing makes me worry, please take it very slowly, do you have enough Valium? Just take it slowly. Let me know how you are doing with it, please.

Ok, well, call if you need me, love you, Play

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks for your concern Play, yes my new doc seems good, Im really happy about it, I am taking it slowly with the going down, and yes I have enough valium, I asked the doc for some yesterday and he gave me some more. No I didnt tell him about the bac, the last thing I need is for him to think Im some self prescribing doctor ignoring alcoholic nutcase

xx

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

:h