Me, myself and getting sober

[Doggygirl]

Me, myself and getting sober

spacebebe01;1233424 wrote: I keep on saying this but I am so enjoying being sober right now. Taking antabuse and campral is the best thing I have ever done

I hope you keep saying it, and saying it, and saying it. And living it large! So glad you had a nice and sober Christmas with family!

DG

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

The past 2 days I have been feeling a bit low and anxious. Probably due to a post christmas slump I think, tommorrow I am going to see a panto and feeling very anxious about the whole thing, Im not even totally sure why, but the thought of getting up and making sure both my sons are ready as well as myself then collecting my daughter and her boyfriend and then getting into town, parking, collecting the tickets ...... it is all throwing me off balance. Just writing it now I am starting to feel sick at the thought. I have already paid for the tickets and dont want to let anyone down so I need to go but I really dreading it. I have saved a couple of diazipan for tommorrow Im glad to say so I hopt they helpp me deal with it.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I went to see the panto it was good , although I was pretty anxious and tense while getting there. I think this is probably the best chritsmas/new year holiday season I can remember. I know that from next week I am going to have to start sorting out reality problems and other life plans ie. debt, benefits, eating I cant think of much else here but anyway Im happy to spent these next few days with my head still stuck in the sand about it all.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I want to wish all my friends on here a very happy, healthy, and peaceful new year.
I dont make resolutions because I dont stick to them, but I think I might make some plans for this month and year.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I have just been reading back through some of the old posts on my thread and cant believe I have come so far in such a short time. I want to thank everyone who has popped in and contributed or just read my thread for all the help and support and also the laughs:H you have given me over the past months.

My new year plan (not resolution)

1. Stick with antabuse and campral and all other meds and suppliments I am taking to enable me to stay AF
2. Kick the chocolate into touch for January it has got way out of control and is making me feel shit.
3. I really dont want to type this as its probably now the most difficult one for me to carry out but here goes GET SOME EXCERCISE!!!! there I have said it so now I will try and find a way to actually do it.

:l

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Happy new year to you too Space, and congrats on your very impressive success. You've come a long way!

Great plan and, guess what, the exercise is the hardest for me too.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

This afternoon I have started getting the flashes of memory of things that I have done when drunk. I have done some terrible things to the people I love most, the very fact that I drank knowing what alcohol does to me makes me feel even worse. Why didnt I stop sooner, why did I carry on taking my kids childhood from them, I know in my head that it was because oof addiction and I for whatever reason wasnt able to stop myself from drinking again and again but that doesnt stop the gut wrenching guilt I feel now. And even now I still feel unable to do my best for them, I dont have the energy to do all the things I would like to do, I dont really take them out, I dont even spend much time with them really. I dont know how to make any of this better, but then I know by staying sober is the only way I can try.

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, you need to buy A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield. I bought it in audio format online. It is helping me immensely with self forgiveness which is the only way you can self love which in turn, is the only way you can truly give your heart to your family and other loved ones selflessly.

[Doggygirl]

Me, myself and getting sober

((((Space)))) The fact that you are thinking and feeling on this subject says a lot about the wonderful and caring person that you are.

When it came to dealing with all the guilt and remorse I felt along the lines you describe, I really like what I learned about that from my sponsor in AA. She taught me that THE very best way to make amends is to do our very best at the "next right thing" TODAY. A million "I'm sorries" aren't worth a nickel compared to changing our behavior.

You ARE changing your behavior. Look at how far you have come!!! Keep going. That is the best gift you can give to yourself and your loved ones - just be the best you that you are able to...today. Progress, not perfection.

:l

DG

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Happy New Year to you, Space. My dear old Mum was from Liverpool and I visited there when I was 6. - 60 years ago!! Hard to believe now.

About what you have done in the past, and how you could have been a better Mum. Honey, I think so many of us have done what you have done. I have terrible memories of things I have done too. When I got sober (10 years before relapse) I talked to each of them and asked them to forgive me. And they did. Now we just get on with our lives. They see me as I am now, mostly not drinking and always in control when I have had alcohol. And now I intend to be completely sober, for ever (keeping my fingers crossed!!)

Your children know you love them. That's the most important thing you can give them. Forgiveness and love are very powerful and will give you all some peace for the future.

You have done so well, in very difficult times. Keep going. The more days you have in your new sober life the better it will be! Your story has been very moving and a great inspiration to me. Today is my DAY ONE!! :h:h:h:h:h

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

:thanks:Thanks for the replies to that, I will be back later to say more but just a quickey for now Bruun I will look up the book you said, I always appreciate your knowledge and advice, Doggy, you are so right in what you say, thanks for reminding me that I am doing what I should be, the problem is some of the time I just dont feel like Im being the best I could be thats the problem, I feel lazy. and lady, good to hear from someone who shares my Liverpool blood "Forgiveness and love are very powerful and will give you all some peace for the future" this is very reasuring to me right now. Good to see you made in onto my thread and well done on day 1

You are all so kind and cool women, I feel so lucky and honoured to be part of the group we have here:l

Right now its 9am here and I intend to stay up and try to do something constructive with my day, during the christmas holidays I have been going back to bed until around 11.30 and then just slopping around, my son goes back to school tomorrow so I will spend some time with him today.

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Morning Space. I don't make resolutions for New Year but my step daughter gave me some ideas. One was to increase discipline - yeah, right!! That's the whole problem eh? no discipline! But this morning I thought I'd try it. I'm a lousy housekeeper and my house is always a mess and dusty etc. But I said to myself, what do I want to do least right now. Clean the bathroom. But I wanted to get on the computer and gab. So I jumped up and cleaned the bathroom. Well it took about 4 minutes! Then I did something else I did not want to do - make the bed - then I put away some salad makings in their proper keeper containers. I had been putting that off for three days!

So you get my drift? Instead of going back to bed. If you can, just DO SOMETHING. You'll find that doing a small chore does not take very long. If you can do this every day you'll find your home not quite so messy and you will feel better about yourself every day.

I bought a little kitchen timer too and use that. You can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes! And for lots of little chores all it takes is 5 minutes! Hope you have a good day today.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Great idea Lady I have never thought of using a kitchen timer but I will definately get one. My main problem with my house is it just seems so overwhelming and I dont know where to start but I reakon with the timer I could start to disipline myself to start.:thanks:

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Funny about the kitchen timer, I thought about using that yesterday when I decided, being this was the afternoon before my first day back to work, that I HAD to make some difference in the depressing clutter so I said, just FIFTEEN MINUTES and then I can go gab on the computer or whatever. It ended up being closer to 20 mins, believe it or not, and felt great to see a major dent made in such a short time. So I'm right there with you ladies on the clean up mode!

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space. You might want to google Fly Lady. it's a great site for breaking housework into very small bites. They take each room of the house and you do 15 minutes at a time. De-cluttering is a big feature too. Check it out. I use it and it sure helps The site seems complicated at first but give it a look.

Also with your rainy weather have you thought of trying light therapy? We have very very cloudy dark winters here where I live and I bought one. It cost about $200 Canadian. I just love it and it has made a HUGE difference in my life in just a few weeks. First thing in the morning I take my coffee into the spare room and put the light box on while I sit and read. The timer is set for half an hour. I can feel myself waking up. What it does is re-set your inner clock so that you are ready to sleep at night. I used to have to sleep every afternoon and still be so tired at night. But now I NEVER have a nap!!

Anyway it's a thought. Hope you are well.