Me, myself and getting sober

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

O have taken my son to school and it turns out that today wasnt the first day back it was yesterday, great start to the new year, lesson to learn from that is to make better use of my calendar. I have checked out Fly Lady and it looks good, Im going to try to start using it each day. Todays tip is to shine my sink so thats what Im going to do, the dishes where still there from last night which is pretty usual for me and has to stop. I am tempted to go back to bed but am going to try to resist it at least until this afternoon. Bruun do you work from home or go out to work, Ive got no idea what you do, MWO Lady what can we call you, do you like Lady or my way or what? I had another bad dream last night this has become a regular thing but Im ok with it, I think of my brain kind of scrambling itself and trying to sort out the crap from the good while I dream and I definately prefare to have bad dreams than to have the bad thoughts and flash back in the day when Im awake.

[Nutshell]

Me, myself and getting sober

MWOLady;1237745 wrote: Morning Space. I don't make resolutions for New Year but my step daughter gave me some ideas. One was to increase discipline - yeah, right!! That's the whole problem eh? no discipline! But this morning I thought I'd try it. I'm a lousy housekeeper and my house is always a mess and dusty etc. But I said to myself, what do I want to do least right now. Clean the bathroom. But I wanted to get on the computer and gab. So I jumped up and cleaned the bathroom. Well it took about 4 minutes! Then I did something else I did not want to do - make the bed - then I put away some salad makings in their proper keeper containers. I had been putting that off for three days!

So you get my drift? Instead of going back to bed. If you can, just DO SOMETHING. You'll find that doing a small chore does not take very long. If you can do this every day you'll find your home not quite so messy and you will feel better about yourself every day.

I bought a little kitchen timer too and use that. You can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes! And for lots of little chores all it takes is 5 minutes! Hope you have a good day today.

This is very good.

For me, the best way of thinking of it is that I am going to work.

Do I want to go to work? Not particularly. Do I want to get paid? YES!

Cleaning the house and lifting weights is your work. Having a nice looking house and a buff physique is your payment.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hiya, Space and all!
I think of those thoughts as tentacles of the beast, Space. There for no good except to make me feel badly. Feeling badly does not make me better today, much less tomorrow. It makes me want to hide. I'm done hiding. Ya' know?

I set a timer for a lot of things. It used to make me feel as though I was 6yo. Now it's a handy tool! I rock with the timer! The timer rocks! Yay timer! The fact that I do things in 20 minute increments does not make me more scattered, or less effective! It means that the toilet bowl and the shower are usually pretty clean, and that I've put my shoes away. That is a big change in my world! woop! (It's still kind of embarrassing and I only mention it here because you all brought it up. )

Ok. Carry on! :l

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, I work from home alot but tomorrow I leave cross country for work, and again on Monday I'm gone til Wednesday. HOWEVER, I may be in touch despite it all, because I ordered the Kindle Fire to trial it, in other words, if it doesn't rock my world, it's being returned.

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space (and all) I don't really mind what you call me but Lady has a nice sound to it - especially as for so many years I was NOT so ladylike!! And I'm glad you found Fly Lady. I go off and on. But the basic principle is good. Baby steps, de-clutter, it didn't get messy overnight so it won't get fixed overnight - shine your sink!!!! Pretty simple.

Boy I could sure relate to your little screw up with your son's school day....how many times did I go to teacher conferences pissed to the gills - my poor children! Thank the Dear Lord they love me enough to see me as their Mum who loves them to bits, and they accept me as I am. Your little guy will do the same for you. Tell him you love him every night - never mind he'll squirm!!!! As he's 12 this will all be sissy stuff for him but do it anyway. He's remember it all his life!! And your older fellow and daughter probably could use that too. And if they should be unkind and say that you should have loved them more when you were always high or drunk when they were growing up, tell them that that was because you were suffering terribly, not because you didn't love them.

Sorry to go on so long!!! Hope all continues to be well with you. You sound so much better than you did a few weeks ago, Space. Good for you.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I got my timer and will start to use it tomorrow. Its seems strange but now Im getting on with my life and starting to live it it dont think what I have to say is as important, I know thats crap and not sure why I even mentioned it but I did so Ill leave it in. Today I did go back to bed but I did it this afternoon after I had cleaned my sink! and washed dishes etc. tomorrow I go to get a massage, ahh bliss Im so looking forward to a bit of pampering. I think its because Im single I notice the thing I really miss when I see couples together is there closeness and I suppose if I had a man who would run my back for me I would love to ask him but since I dont I go to the salon. also thinking about it it seems a very high price to pay for a free back rub,, having to get a man i mean just cooking the tea so will call back later

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space. Yes it is nice to have a man around the house but sometimes the price is high. I've done some very bad things to keep a man in my life, especially when there was drink involved - definitely NOT worth it. I was alone as well for many years and I did just fine. I got involved with a nice group and we went hiking and walking and camping together - just a big gang of singles and we had lots of fun. That was during my sober years.

And hey! Everything you have said so far, that I have read here, has been quite interesting!! So keep posting!! Enjoy your massage. I haven't had one for years and I envy you!! Have a good sober night.

[LadyLush]

Me, myself and getting sober

Bruunhilde;1237394 wrote: Space, you need to buy A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield. I bought it in audio format online. It is helping me immensely with self forgiveness which is the only way you can self love which in turn, is the only way you can truly give your heart to your family and other loved ones selflessly.

I am ordering this also, Bruun. Space, I have read a few posts and need to read more but I am with you; I just can't let go of the guilt and pain.

Still on the Antabuse and baclofen and fighting sweetie!

LL:l

[LadyLush]

Me, myself and getting sober

And,

I do the timer too!
15 minutes per room max and it keeps the gloom and doom of boredom in that room away!


LL:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I havent managed to get to the massage because as usual I left things to the last minute and I had to print out a voucher to take with me to pay for it as I bought it off an online deals site and guess what the printer was out of ink and I couldnt find the refil, luckily I phoned to tell them and the girl was great and said that just this once she would let me rebook but usually they want 24 hrs notice so Im goin on Monday instead. Im grlad you reminded me about the book Lush, Id forgotten all about it, I WILL check it out now on ebay and amazon. There is a hiking group in my city that I have been meaning to join for years but never got round to it, I will wait now until the weather gets a bit better as the wind here is pretty bad right now and go along to find out more, I will mark in on my calender for the end of Feb.
The timer and shine my sink went great this morning my house looks different already after a couple of 15min jobs.

Space:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I have ordered the book and also a meditation cd! I dont really know anything about meditation except what I did when I was in a 12 step treatment centre and I didnt like that there, (I fact I didnt like much of anything in the treatment centre I went to except for the other clients? I met) but will give it another go.

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space. You don't actually have to sit and "meditate" if you don't like it much. Just going for a walk and looking at nature even in winter, or sitting and thinking of something that gives you pleasure - like what you'd do if you won the lottery!! or how to cook a dish you've never tried, or praying if you do pray is just as good.

I use a diet hypnosis cd that I bought years ago. It's very calming and I just say "drink" in my head when she says "food" on the cd. Works a treat! Have a great day.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I find it very difficult to relax, and also have trouble keeping my thoughts in check, it is getting better but the cd Iv ordered is called short morning and evening meditations so Im hoping its will just be a couple of minutes to start and end the day, baby steps in both routine and learning some relaxation and directing my thoughts to the positive. Im shelving the whole walking idea until the weather gets a bit better, am just sick of being cold now.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I just thoughts about needing to go round to my local shop when I got a physical feeling about vodka, the thought seemed to come a split second after that I should get a bottle of vodka. I have now just recocnised the feeling as that of anxiety. I think some memories are somehow imprinted inside our bodies, what I think I was wanting was freedom and release. I have just this morning recieved the meditation cd I ordered yesterday, yes I know how quick was that, amazon, unbelievable so I will go and check it out.

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Yes, Space, I recognize that feeling too. Anxiety = reach for relief = reach for alcohol = relief. Works so well eh?

But that's what the tool box is all about no? Now when I feel the anxiety coming I reach for a GABA or 5HTP or a tea or something good to eat. Good for you that you've got your cd in place. I hope you like the feeling of relaxation it gives you enough that you'll reach for it when you get that anxiety again. Let us know how it works!!