Me, myself and getting sober

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Didnt sleep well last night, lots of tossing and turning and looking at the clock so at 6.30 I gave up and got up then, had a flash of inspiration and HAD A BATH!!!!!! Woohoo So I am starting the day all squeaky clean and smelling lovely, I am tired now tho and debating whether to go back to bed, I will try and tick of a couple of jobs on todays "to do" list first.

I will jump at least one hurdle before sitting down and sleeping

Am still considering the LDB as an option Ne, I do seem to remember that the first time I tried it it did helpp with anxiety and I did feel better on the low dose, the other thing I have been wondering is the first time I tried bac when I felt better on the low dose I had a different brand to the last time when I felt pretty crap all along. Am not sure if this makes a difference or not.

Well done on the shower IK we can be the clean club today

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Good sleep can't be overrated! I wish I could nap mid-day, damn I feel like it so much these days...

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, you crack me up!! And I quote: "I will jump at least one hurdle before sitting down and sleeping" You are so funny!!!! I had this vision of a new sport at the Olympics!!!! A bunch of middle aged women in baggy drawers, and rollers in their hair. One very slow run up to the first hurdle - oh, sorry can't jump now, gotta have a bit of a kip!!!! - you're a laugh, you are.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

HUUUUUULOOOOOOOOOO, Space. Sorry to shout, but three days without a word from you is a little silly, and a little worrying. How are you? Where are you? What're you doing?
The all important question: Have you bathed today?

:l
Ne

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Yeah, Space, don't make us come over there and get you!

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Its good to turn on and see your friendly words, Lady and Ne, I cant even say why I havent been here, have got no clue what the hell Ive been doing really that would take up so much time to give me a excuse for not turning up but Im back anyway, and I have had a bath and a shower since we last met Today I also went to the centre to a relaxation group, should be good but I am in such a constant state of anxiety sitting in a chair surrounded by people for 50 mins is pretty uncomfortable for me, but I am willing to give it a go and I also saw one of the women I went on the day out with before xmas so it was good to see her and catch up.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
I'm so glad you're back! Whew. Don't do that again. Please.

Glad you're clean, and getting some support for the anxiety.

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Yeah, we like you clean. :H You don't know it but I have a very special computer that can see right through space into your computer. Hey, love those jammies!! You look so cute with those little bunny feet!! And I can see that your Fly Lady baby steps have your place looking pretty darned tidy. Good for you. My place on the other hand........:H:H

Space, my sister had to go through one of those group things when she finally got some social service sponsored depression treatment. She just hated it, she hated the other women and she was determined she would not get any good out of it, and on and on.

Well, here it is two years later. The group therapy is over, and she still goes to breakfast with those ladies every Friday morning. And after breakfast they all go to the thrift store next to the restaurant and shop. They have not become best pals or anything but for these folks just showing up every week and talking is a very big step. Anything to get you out of the house is great, no?

We have missed you though. So don't be a stranger ok? I'm doing well myself. Today is day 15 - and I said I wasn't going to count - ha, ha.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hearing from you both has just cheered me up which I reely need today, I am about the most depressed I have been in a while, my head is just a mess and it has taken until now, 8.15pm to think to come here. I am obsessing about money worries, I am in so much debt, am regretting losing my job because of drinking, owe my son so much arghhhhhhhhhh, there is nothing I can do right now about it but my head just wont shut up I forget that at one time I was running off to hide in the woods to drink, and neglecting my sons andwanting to die at times. And yes Lady I have somehow managed today to still shine my sink
Sorry to waffle on like some nut job

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Lady I am so self absorbed at the moment I am bad

WELL DONE ON 15 DAYS YEH FOR YOU :wd::happy::yay:

[MWOLady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, it's NOT bad to be self absorbed!! You have so much on your plate right now you NEED to be self absorbed. It WOULD be nutty not to be self absorbed when you have lots on your mind. How else are are you going to clear your mind except to think about things?

Get a list going of the difficulties you have. List them from light to heavy.

Then when you start to fix the light ones you can begin to tick them off.

Like cleaning yourself up - that's an easy one eh?
Like keeping your home clean - another easy one right?
Like getting up earlier in the morning so you can get a jump on the day. Easy peasy!
Like making sure your son eats right - done! and so on and so on - easy ones first eh?

Then going to therapy, or doing exercise, or looking for part time work, or whatever you know you need to start on that's a little harder.

Once you start ticking stuff off you'll feel so good you can begin to work on even harder things. But you don't worry about the really tough stuff on day one!!

Debt is harder, I know, but my dear every day you are sober means you are one day closer to working on the tough stuff! See how easy it is to at least get going!! :h:h:h

You sound like such a great gal, Space, and you have such spunk. Don't expect to be fixed so soon. You've only been sober and straight for a little while. You're not superwoman. One baby step at a time. Here's lots of love coming your way :h:h

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Me, myself and getting sober

hmmm. I have to disagree with OLady (we have another Lady--LadyLush, so to distinguish...)

Point number one: You ARE superwoman. It just takes some time to remember that. And if in doubt, you can do what you've done and compare the fact that you have a sink to care about, not to mention shine, as opposed to a tree. Or trees. That are just fine on their own. Well, sorta. They would be if we stopped cuttin' 'em down. Am I digressing into my own hippy agenda? ah, yes.

Point number two: I think it would slay me, even now, to make a list of all the things I want to do or need to clean up. Especially if it is related to the wreckage I sometimes feel I've created because of my disease. I try to do the next right thing. Sometimes that thing sucks. (the dentist. paying a bill.) Most of the time it starts with a little pep talk I give myself before I get out of bed. Yep. really. Sometimes it's "rah, rah, sis-boom-bah! You can do it! yayayayayay!" It is also, "Eff you biatch! (whatever that happens to be.) Bring on your worst, 'cause I got this. You (whatever that is) forget that I have kicked the a$$ of the only thing that has kicked my a$$, and I can't be stopped."
But that's just me. I like expletives and a little kick-a$$ start to my day.
Then I can get up and do the next right thing, which is brush my teeth so the coffee doesn't taste bad.

That's it. Sometimes that's all I've got.

OLady, congratulations on that 15 days. Two weeks plus one. More than half a month! ROCK ON! 'cause you got this, too, sister. :l So glad you're sharing some of your journey and what makes it work for you with us.

Carry on!

[gratitude]

Me, myself and getting sober

Ne,
You brush your teeth before coffee? Dude, you are on it.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

OK I have been out the past couple of days with my daughter and her boyfriend which is good cos it gets me out but then I havent had time to come on here and chat to you, my friends on MWO. Also right now my sink is so full of dirty dishes and I dont care but will do it in the morning and hope to catch up a bit on housework then, because I have been feeling low I havent been bothered but I want to get it sorted now so will do it. I have started taking 10mg a bac a day and not getting any bad effects of it at all, so thats good news, I am hoping the bac will help me with the anxiety.

I do go through these times when I feel down on myself but I just have to go thru this and put up with it I think. Im still amazed when I realise that Im sober and its not causing me any suffering to not drink. I dont want to drink. Sometimes it seems strange that I can sit here at 9pm at night, chatting and reading on here, with my dogs snoring by my feet,my sons are upstairs , I will go and chase Joe off to bed soon, and there nothing else I can do or need to do today, and I will get off to bed myself soon. How cool it that.

In one way I agree with you Lady as in if I dont make the lists and push myself a bit I would never get out of bed and do anything and wouldnt move on. I need to kick myself up the arse and get moving.

I also agree with You Ne in that I cant go making a list of everything, I cant even start thinking of everything because that would do my head in so I will keep my lists short and nothing to deep.

I going for a quick look around on here them off to bed for some zzzzzzzzzzzz's so goodnight:l:h

[LadyLush]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space,

I have been gone and read here and there but I hope what I say will fit and I will take time to read and read.

God, the shower screw it, dishes screw it, cleaning screw it, I was all that.
There was someone on here and I think I know but won't say that brought me so close to that's me:
She said she stayed in a dark house, drank and drank, did not change clothes, did not bathe, dogs pooped everywhere and she could not care less. I was there Space too. And this person lifted me up knowing I was not alone.
We are all here for the same reason.
Get out of bed, no matter what. Are you on Bac or not? Sorry been gone. I believe we were on the same brand and if you dissolve it in your morning drink it makes a world of difference!
20 to 60mg a day will get rid of that anxiety and depression I swear.
I read bits and pieces and hope I am not far ahead of where you are at. I will read more tonight on all these posts.


LL:l