Me, myself and getting sober

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

ps thanks for the link DG, I have read about PAWS before and think thats possibly what going on for me so its a good reminder. I do take campral to help deal with it, I know thats recommended to take for a year so I intend to take it for that long.

[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

spacebebe01;1255614 wrote:
Went to the womens group at the centre on Thursday and we where looking at what one thing we want to change this week, I put down to have some fun and then when the group leader woman asked me how I want to go about that I said the first thing that popped into my head which was "I want to go line dancing", so anyway someone has volunteer to come with me the first time and Im going to go on Tuesday night.

That is BRILLIANT! Learning how to have fun sober is a wonderful idea. :goodjob:

I can't wait to hear how the line dancing goes.

:dancin:

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Monday morning, after a week of joe being off school I am trying to get back into the swing of things. Relaxation calss this morning at the centre so Im gonna go and get and shower and get ready to go. No going back to bed for me this morning

[RudyB]

Me, myself and getting sober

well oh my goodness, bebe! you are a woman after my heart! thank you so much for posting about line dancing. it's something that always has twanged my heart -not to be corny- when i see it, such that i want to do it immediately. i just googled it in my area and there might be something... and i checked a youtube video that told me, yes, i must pursue this, too. there's something about being in physical unison with people that appeals to me so strongly. that's one of the reasons i love rowing so much.

i'm also resonating with you at the moment around that feeling of having a hard time keeping up with details. (you've had that, right?) sometimes really big ones are lost to me, and it scares me and makes me wonder if i'm losing my mind. i just got an email from my ex who said that i was supposed to revise our settlement agreement. i haven't, and now we're a week behind schedule. i've spent some time over the past few days fretting over wanting to be back in my own house, and it turns out i have only myself to blame for the delay in that! jesus cristo and sod it! i really don't know what is going on with me for the past several months. i'm not a drunk anymore, but it seems i haven't improved one bit in the keeping-it-together department! (the good news is that i've just sent an email to my lawyer (can't sleep anyway at 4 am, thanks baclofen) with the necessary points, so maybe it will only be a few days until we can sign...)

it's so wonderful that you're sober! good for you, my dear. i hope you've had a good week off with your son, and i'm glad to read that he didn't have to go to the hospital. my son has some vacation time that i manage, as i have to work on those days. (let me not forget to handle that detail!) the excellent news is that i have some vacation time for me during which he will be in school! hooray, time to chill and do what i want! golly jeepers, i'll probably even be back in my house by then, so i can play martha stewart. and i can go snowboarding! (if there's any snow.)

okay, dear, well, just wanted to chime in and share my enthusiasm and tell you how much you make me think of myself at times. i wish you solid, long sleeps this week, and a big hug for getting your act together so nicely. bravo y salud!

xo rudy

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Unfortunately Im not going to be albe to go line dancing tonight This morning we had thick freezing fog and taking my son to school my car skidded, luckily I didnt hit anything but I seem to have managed to hurt my back, I also dont want to take any chances driving on the roads tonight. Rudy where are you living? is your ex in your house? Im glad youve got time off to yourself to treat yourself, try and organise it first so you dont end up wasting any of your time, thats what I usually do, by the time I have decided what to do and how to do it ive got no time left!

I realised earlier on today that I have been stressing myself about spending too much time in bed, not cleaning my house, not doing whatever that last year when I stopped drinking and started taking the antabuse I had told my mum and daughter that I was not going to stress and probably have to miss doing stuff for 3 maybe 6 months so I could get some AF time under my belt first before I started worrying about anything else. I had forgotten all about this so Im going back to taking it easy on myself so what if Im a lazy slob, at least Im a sober lazy slob

[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

Good for you spacebebe! That's a healthy outlook. I will have to keep that in mind in my own life.

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, I've been thinking that same thing about myself, and patting myself on the back for the small victories like getting the boxes out of the doorway, clearing out the kitchen table - even put an orchid (real!) on it. Next is the dining table and the little table holding all my electronic and ink toner recycling. Last and most fearsome, the office! And not even on the list yet, The Garage!

But every day I don't accomplish anything notable, I still can say I'm AF and that's a BIG DEAL.

:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Too right Bruun, every day AF IS a big deal, and is a definate step forward even if things dont seem to be changing. Things like sorting out the house will probably make life easier and more pleasant but there not what lifes about. which is something I have been wondering a lot lately, The Meaning of Life is a phrase often bandied about and I dont think Ive ever realised how important it is to try and understand it. Trying to work out what is important to me and what matters and has been bugging me for a while no, if fact it probaqbly always bugged me because having no understanding of the importance of life has had a lot to do with my drinking myself to near death. Its easy for me to say that my children are the most important things in the world to me and I love them but I am trying to work out just what that means, because I love them I therefore what to care for them and show them my love. But what of the rest of life, I need to show myself love and care as well. I also want to show others love and care because that will help me feel good about myself. Treat other people as I want to be treated is a mantra I will try to follow. I have always been pretty much of a loner but now know that being so doesnt serve me well. The hardest part of all these changes sometimes is just remembering about them. To remember to say hello to the guy in the shop and ask him how he is makes a difference to my day and hopefully his. After a while I think being nice to people should become a habit and I wont have to work so hard at it

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

The meaning or lack of same in my life has been a major contributor to my drunken years. "Is this all there is?" was my daily mantra in my twenties. So sad. I hated my life. I had the love of my life but he was irresponsible, not a good partner. I had a corporate job and worked 10 hours a day and commuted between an hour and 90 minute each way to work in my car. Went to the gym religiously except for the occasional happy hour. Weekends I'd get plowed with my BF at clubs. And that was the highlight of the week, Saturday night. There was no meaning except to live for Saturday Saturday as Elton John says.

I never wanted to bring kids into this world. I have such a temper, like my mom, I didn't want to bring that on them. I didn't want them to have my depression. But without kids, there's even less meaning, Space.

I have determined through volumes of reading that the meaning of life is to serve others and love others. To get to that point, you have to learn to love yourself or you'll never love others unselfishly. To serve fills your soul if you do it unselfishly. I just bought The Art of Happiness (a book) but I think the secret / art will be about being in the present, being comfortable with yourself, and all the above I just wrote. Maybe it will give lessons on getting there, which is what I need. We both might need it so I'll let you know when I read it. Meditation can help, I think.

Or you could go with Monty Python's version of The Meaning of Life.

[RudyB]

Me, myself and getting sober

bruun! what a brilliant post! i was thinking some of those same things as i read bebe's post, but i couldn't have said them better. yes, bebe, you have to love yourself. but sometimes that doesn't come first; sometimes, as it seems you're realizing (and i'm still realizing myself), you have to connect with others and love them, feel how good that feels, before you can begin to turn some of that love and connectedness unto yourself.

i think loving is the meaning of life, basically. and through that creating, creating a life for yourself that is meaningful (not to talk in circles or nothin'). the good news is, by connecting with self and others, exactly what is meaningful becomes clear, the more so the more you practice doing it.

bebe, i loved your mention of chatting with the guy in the shop. sometimes that is enough to lift the spirits immediately and for a while. i say keep having those moments, seek them out, and of course, find things to do in your life -more trips to the shop, line dancing, relaxation center- such that the opportunities to experience them increase in frequency.

ok, well, halelujiah!!! snow flakes are dropping onto my screen! hooray, it hasn't snowed in weeks! ...and my son awaits his bedtime story and snuggles...

[RudyB]

Me, myself and getting sober

jeez, that sounded a bit preachy! please know that i'm preaching to myself, too.

unfortunately, it stopped snowing. and now i am awake, wide awake, and desperately need sleep...

[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

It sounds like a good idea to do connecting things, to do fun things. I'm not good at having fun and connecting feels like work to me anymore. I guess life is pretty dreary when caring about the people in your life feels like drudgery. I think it's too early here and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (but not hungover).

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Ginger, so true. Its because, for me, I lost so much to alcohol. My social side, my physical strength, my sparkling personality. Now having energy without the physical strength to do much, without the motivation to do much, everything seems dreary. That's why I read these books, and self talk them to myself when I'm down. Last night I was sleepless and ended up drugging myself to sleep with 2mg of xanax. My eyes are so tired these days from computers, TV and Kindle Fire. All those flickering screens. I think my brain is exploding from too much exposure. I have to get OUT!

Rudy, we're all preaching to ourselves, aren't we?

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

The glowing screens can definately be a problem Bruun, my eyes also get very tired. I worry about the amount of time my son spends on the computer, you answered yourself tho, you do need to get out, so do I. I went to my womens group again today and was really glad I went, going to structured groups gives me the opportunity to be with people that I would never have otherwise.
Next weel I will be taking my youngest son and 2 of his mates away for a few days to a holiday camp in North Wales. I want sure if I wanted to go at first with 3 kids but now Im looking forward to it. I am glad that I can do this for my son, he is so excited about it.

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

I think that outing will be good for you, Space. We all need to get out of the house. I'm having a friend in from out of town tomorrow through Monday, then I'm off to travel for business. So I will not be on the screen! Yes, be careful of your son's exposure. Its perhaps like earphones and sunburns, the damage will maybe show up later.