Me, myself and getting sober

[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

One of things that I've discovered I can eat again is ice cream. We had a pack of Sprite left over from Christmas, and I discovered that my tummy likes that too. It looks like my bad reaction to carbs and dairy is getting fixed with AF time. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but I just cannot get any fatter than I already am! I had to buy new jeans this week because I can't stand to wear my old ones unless the fly is unbuttoned, which is pretty trashy looking. I'm a small person, so even a little weight looks like a whole lot on me. When I was at DMV, the lady behind the counter said, "We need to update this information. Your license says you weigh 110 pounds." I was so embarrassed. I told her to add 50 pounds, even though it's much more than that. :upset:

Maybe I'll check out Paleo. I only know it from a distance and the thread on Holistics.

But still AF. I'm chiding myself that I'm whining over being able to enjoy food again. Oh, the curses of sobriety. :H

[panicprincess]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space,

Get either the book "kick the drink easily" by Jason vales or
"The Easyway to stop drinking" by Allen Carr

They each have a different approach that will change your mindset towards quitting. They teach a method that doesn't require white knuckling it. You can find them on Amazon.

Hope this helps. Plus read the My Way Out book to see all the supplements she recommends to help ease almost anything related to quitting drinking.

Good luck!

[panicprincess]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space,

Get either the book "kick the drink easily" by Jason vales or
"The Easyway to stop drinking" by Allen Carr

They each have a different approach that will change your mindset towards quitting. They teach a method that doesn't require white knuckling it. You can find them on Amazon.

Hope this helps. Plus read the My Way Out book to see all the supplements she recommends to help ease almost anything related to quitting drinking.

Good luck!

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I have dragged my thread up as a place to remind myself of where Im at right now. After months of sailing though so easily on antabuse I am now at a crack up point. I know this is because of - my new psychiatrist changing my meds, at the end of the last appointment she said she wanted me to try a combination of 2 meds and I feel fucking awful, I am obssessing on the past, I cant motivate myself, I have no enjoyment in anything. I have to look at the past years tho when really I can say I have had no drive to do anything except for when I was drinking, AL seems to be the only thing that got me going! Before that I used to go out shopping in town, look after my appearance, go to the gym, go on dates, play with my son and now nothing. I have to say that I have actually started doing things, the centre, the course I just finished but I have no feelings, I am having no fun, I am feeling like Im just going thought the motions.

Tomorrow I go and see this doc again, the meds she has given me have made me worse, my anxiety has come back 10 fold and Ive started having panic attacks again and become paraniod, I made a cake for the managers leaving party at the centre and have just taken the cake in and made some sad excuse and left. I need to get something going that will make me start feeling better, I want me back, I am stifled and pushed out of my life by the wrong meds and my family. I need to sort this.

ps princess, I did read your post thanks for thinking of me, I have read the books you mentioned, but as I have said my problems actually lie in my depression, anxiety and meds

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

So sorry, Space! You sound miserable. It sounds like you think it's the meds change though, right? Is it comforting at all that you might know what's causing it?
I think you know by now that I HATE anxiety. I'll take depression and even physical pain over anxiety. So I do not envy you right now. But I do sympathize!
I know you call it "going through the motions", but I think you're making a great decision in continuing to do things like fullfilling your obligations at the center. You're not letting this situation get the best of you. That's a big middle finger at your mental illness, and I think it'll make it easier to get back on track when you're feeling better.
I also think that, yes, it's hard to quit drinking, but it's also hard to deal with all the issues that made us drink in the first place and any issues that may have arisen during our drinking that we never dealt with. A favorite author of mine was placed in a mental hospital 6 months AFTER she quit drinking. When the staff there congratulated her on not drinking even though she was suicidal, she said, "I knew it wouldn't make anything better."
So give that doc hell tomorrow, and know that even if it doesn't feel like it, I think you're doing a great job of dealing with this situation. You're not drinking, and you're putting one foot in front of the other. We're all rooting for you!

[LadyLush]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space,
Great post Windy.
Yes, not drinking may not change the situation but it sure as hell makes it more tolerable.
I do believe the medicines are indeed playing havoc with you right now.
I hit some terrible depression about a week or so ago but worked my way through it.
I know too Space, a nice bottle of Merlot is all I wanted to numb that depression. But you and I both know that just makes matters worse.
I think the lonliness is engulfing you in the spare time you use to spend drinking. I am saying that because I know that is true for me. The bottle took the place of my ex and now I find myself alone again without the drink. It is hard but we have to find things to occupy that empty hole in our life. Blah, blah, I know, easier said than done. Everybody tells us that but we each have to figure out that one on our own.
You have done well with the center and don't give up. That is such a great start.
I am not sure about your work situation but mine keeps me busy the majority of the day so my dwelling thoughts take a back burner.

Anyway, I am turning into a blah, blah, myself.

Again I want to say, you have helped me and others in starting or staying on the antabuse journey. Stay strong Space and let's stick this out!
We knew sobriety wouldn't be a piece of cake; but it's a hell of a lot better than the road we were on!

LL:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thank you both for your support, I saw the doc today and she has asked me to give it another 3 weeks, well actually she asked me if I needed to go in hospital so I did a quick backtrack because Im so scared of going into psychiatric hospital so then she asked me to try the med at a higher dose for three weeks then if Im not feeling better to ring for another appointment. Her advise to me is to continue going to the centre, she has referred me for psychotherapy so to start that, to go for a 20min walk every day, and apart from that to take it easy! By the way she is the first female consultant psychiatrist I have ever met or heard of so is that a good thing or not, Im not sure. Anyway my choice is try these meds for 3 weeks, go into hospital or dont take her advice at all and carry on as before, I dont think theres much of a choice really is there, I will take her meds, go for the walk, go to the center and see how things go. In the grand scheme of things 3 weeks isnt that long so its worth a go.

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

That crossed my mind, Space. Most psychiatirc meds take a while to produce a noticable effect. I think I feel more comfortable talking to a woman. The best psychiatrist I ever saw was a woman (but my parents worked in mental health; she was one of the best in the state), but the worst therapist I ever saw was a woman. So, I guess you never know.
Psychotherapy and a 20 minute walk sound like great ideas. And you're right, you can get through anything for 3 weeks as long there's an end in sight. Good for you, Space. I think you're making the right decision.

[LadyLush]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space,

That sounds great! Walking really does do wonders!
That is so funny Windy, I agree with you on the woman psychiatrist male therapist/psychologist thing. I really think you have a good one on your hands Space.

Space, what does she have you taking? Through all these posts I may have forgotten or you can send me a PM. Does she know about the Baclofen?
From what I know the only major containdication with antabuse is alcohol so I don't believe that could adversely affect and meds you are taking.

Anyway glad you are on the right track!

I am 43 days sober today. Wow! Who would have thought I could do this besides us!:l


Have a great day!
LL

[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, getting moving in the morning has made a world of difference for me. Take that walk! I hope you are as amazed as I am at what a difference it makes in energy level. I'm glad that you are going to try to hang in there with the meds. In three weeks if it still hasn't worked, you can always try something else. A female shrink might turn out to be a very good thing! I admire your fortitude. It will pay off. Sending lots of healing thoughts and love your way!

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Oh, Space. I'm so sorry.
Know that this isn't the end of the world. Dump out the vodka if it's still there.
Remember what they say in Smart? Relapses are nothing to be ashamed of; they're learning opportunities. Now you know that that set of meds doesn't work for you. They put you in a place where you were feeling so bad, you didn't know what to do with yourself. And you drank.
But it's NOT the end of the world! I know you have it in you to dust yourself and get back up. Ginger's right. Do whatever you have to do. If that means hospitalization, so be it.
You have been such an inspiration to me and others. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, I KNOW you can do this. I don't blame you or judge you. Just sending you lots of love.
If I could, I'd give you a big hug right now, wrap you in a blanket, and make you some delicious soup.
The hug's the most important part though.
Please keep us updated on how you're doing. You've got a lot of people here that care about you very much. Don't forget that.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I have taken an antabuse, so even though my head and whole body are telling me to run and get a bottle, I will try and eat something. What I was wondering and wanted to ask it I know some of you on here when drinking have managed to keep jobs and function, but my drinking has taken me to going totally round the bend really, when I start I can be in a blackout for days or longer just passing out, waking then drinking again, so my question is this, can anyone talk to me who may have been like me and got out of it

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Ooops I just want to put this on here that the last time I drove my car was over a week ago now because of the anxiety I was feeling. I started getting panic attacks while driving around 7 years ago and sometimes they get bad and then they can just dissapear for a time. I do think this whole has has been medication related, because that happened before I drank so it wasnt the drink that caused it to start (although I will probably accept it has made it worse now).

Also I do need to say that although I did drink, I can remember a couple of years ago I used to run away to drink in the woods and stuff like that so I am kind of wondering whats going on to stop me doing that now.

I have to go to the shop for cigarettes and I dont know why but I really dont want to go out, its either that tho or do without cigs, I dont think this would be a good time for me to stop smoking.

[Sammi33]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space,

I have been lurking around for a while and just wanted to check in and say I have benefited a lot from your posts and i really hope things start looking up for ya soon. I am on day 9 Antabuse and its really really hard! It seems like everyone is posting how great it is but i am hanging on for dear life.

I have had depressiion and anxiety issues for the last 20 years so i know what u are going through and i have been on and off about a milliion different meds and i know how abchange can turn your world upside down. I was just wondering if you would be happy to share what you are on.?

I was also wondering about how you were saying other people maintain jobs etc but you can go on benders for days. I dont drink like that during the week and i do hold down a job, but i often have fantasies about packing it all in and going on benefits and just drinking for days. Anyway my thoughts were i go to work because i have to, i am committed and i don't have a choice. In wonder if throwing yourself into something that you have to do would help.this might be no help at all and i am pretty new around here so sorry if my advice is stupid.

I am cheering for you,

Sammi xx

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Your advice isnt stupid at all Sammi, last year I lost my last job when I came back of holiday and had bought my mum a bottle of whiskey and my next door neighboor a bottle of vodka and when we got home around 12.30am I went and drank the vodka! this was after a lovely holiday with my family where I did drink at all and that started a bender where I just didnt go into work, really I should have rang in sick but I was also using it as an excuss because I was hating the job. I am looking at doing voluntary work now as that would be less pressure I think and did a course which I managed to complete so I have applied to a homeless charity and a mental health service.

Sammi when I first started taking antabuse I was walking the walls for around the first 2 weeks but after that it did get easier for me, I have also been on and off so many meds over the years and think I have probably had all the ssri's, what happens tho is I seem to have good times then bad times and when I have seen the doc while Im feeling bad thats when they change them. Right now the new meds the doc gave me 4 weeks ago are citalopram and serequel.

Well done on your 9 days we can all do this together xx:l

ps going on benefits and becoming a full time drunk isnt all what I used to imagine it being, I wouldnt recommend it as a lifestyle choice:upset: