Me, myself and getting sober

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Woops, sorry, I didn't know my typing was so big.

play

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Good luck on whatever you do. I am on day 3 AF and at 230 mg. Less SE's now too. I am really hoping I am at the switch but tough to say for sure. I am in a funk from not sleeping well but I am hopeful. I have not stayed away from AL for this long in quite some time and that was tough. This has not been.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hey play no I have never taken nal and dont know much about it only what Ive read in the book and on here. Your plan sounds good and similar to what WTE is doing and she has been having great success.

My dog is sleeping now and my boy dog has been sitting grooming her, he does that anyway but he does seem to know shes hurt herself and is trying to look after her, she is asleep now so hopefully she will feel better in the morning. I cleaned her paw earlier so I will leave it alone now to heal and see what its like tomorrow, if its infected I will then take her to the vets but it doesnt look too bad right now, she must have done it on a stone because she was only int the garden and theres no glass about but she does love digging.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Afteer increasing the bac for this week it has made no difference to my back, so I will reduce back to 40mg. The ibuprophen did give me some relief today, but not massively so really Im back to square one with it, and back to my docs on Monday, not looking forward to that.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Im still in pretty much the same state as I have been, my back still causing me problems, didnt get an appointment with the doctor, I rang too late so maybe tomorrow.

I have put on so much weight recently that is getting me down as well as everything else now. I look pregnant! I think it may be the seroquel, thats causing the weight gain, also the not wanting to go out. Both these things have happened since I started taking it, I cant get an appointment with the psychiatrist for a while?? and am not sure whether to come off it myself or what, I know no one on here can advise me but this thinking on here does help me see things a bit more clearly sometimes. Apart from the weight and not wanting to leave the house and not being motivated to do anything at all, and my back being in near constant pain things are ok, so why rock the boat:H I think thats obvious.

Im just not sure what my next move should be,

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Im still in pretty much the same state as I have been, my back still causing me problems, didnt get an appointment with the doctor, I rang too late so maybe tomorrow.

I have put on so much weight recently that is getting me down as well as everything else now. I look pregnant! and I am virtually becoming agoraphobic, I just really really dont want to go out, or do anything so its more than just not wanting to leave the house. I think it may be the seroquel, thats causing the weight gain, also the not wanting to go out. Both these things have happened since I started taking it, I cant get an appointment with the psychiatrist for a while?? and am not sure whether to come off it myself or what, I know no one on here can advise me but this thinking on here does help me see things a bit more clearly sometimes. Apart from the weight and not wanting to leave the house and not being motivated to do anything at all, and my back being in near constant pain things are ok, so why rock the boat:H I think thats obvious.

Im just not sure what my next move should be,

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

I think the seroquel could be doing it. It's a life saver for me lately but I just take 25 mg at night for insomnia. I do wake up awfully hungry. If I take more than that dose I am like a zombie and I don't want to be bothered so perhaps that? I don't know much about the drug but I could see how it might do that.
I'd be careful about adjusting your meds if the doc has you on them.
Hang in there, you'll make it through. Wait it through and talk to a doctor I think. Think for the long term.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks COS I think your right, in fact I will phone them now and try to chase up my appointment. I dont think many people do know much about it, except perhaps psychiatrists, and even then I wonder.

Update, I did just phone and the earliest I can get seen is the 28th June, so nearly 6 weeks away I think

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Yes it's real hit or miss with doctors. If you find a good one, never let that one go.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Yes years ago I had a psychiatrist who would sit and explain why he was prescribing a med and what it did, unfortunately he retired. Now I just think they pick the one on the top of their list, here it seems, if you go to your gp you get citalopram, then if you got to a psychiatrist they add on serequel. Anyway I have to wait 6 weeks to see her, no choice about that there is a massive waiting list apparently.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Things are still pretty much the same for me right now, I am having trouble explaining it really, theres my back which has literally been a pain, and the depression which is wierd right now, I dont want to leave the house but today I needed to go to see my doc, who is local so I made an appointment for 3.30 to give me time to get myself together, I wake up at 7am to get my son up for school so you can see theres a problem there, that I cant get myself together to go out until 3pm! So the docs appointment went ok, I will have to go back and see him anyway next week to get more gabapentin and to ask him about the stuff I forgot today, but anyway he has told me to take the max dose of the pain meds for my back and I will get an xray done next week.

So what my problem?

Drink, I still feel an aversion to vodka, wine, but lager is kind of like tea to me, I drank 6 cans last night, thats over whats good for me and more than what I planned but thats what I did, tonight back to 3. Why dont I not drink the lager, I panic that I will start craving vodka and thats now becoming a fear, thats a change in attitude, vodka was never a fear before it was a forbidden fruit.

The thought of leaving the estate I live on is giving me panic attacks, I have never eally got rid of the panic attacks but now the worry of them happening is causing me anxiety.

So I feel like Im not moving, Im just plodding on with no direction, of course I cant do much because of my back which is maybe causing some of the problems but not all, my mood isnt right. I am diagnosed with bipolar and I know the psychiatrist is more worried about the manic rather than my depression which is the thing that gets me down most of all, I will have to wait to talk to her about it.

Im wondering what the bac is doing for me right now, Im also thinking that its one of the meds available for my back condition but what Im taking myself is not doing any good, should I come off mine now and ask my doc for it? By the way I know about how to stop, wean off never just stop.

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Sounds like they need to adjust your meds for one.
Does the lager mess with your meds for your back pain? I would be concern about your liver because of the meds and the alcohol. Easier said then done I know as I never listened when I was drinking.

Also, sounds like you might need to see a psychologist along with a psychiatrist maybe do some CBT? Drugs aren't the cure for everything.

Is there a hobby you can get into and maybe find a group of folks to get you out of the house now and then? You could just be in a funk and happy days are just around the corner. It's happened to me so hang in there for now and just watch the intake if you can. Sounds like you might need to go up on the baclofen. Just a thought.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I did have hobbies but the back thing has put a stop to me doing anything. I have done CBT in the past, in fact I have a certificate to facilitate it! never used it tho. No its not therapy I need apart from giving me a chance to think out loud, and really I can do that way better on here that I ever have in a therapists room. Maybe part of the problem is that I have been doing this whole recovery thing for so long I know exactly what is going to be said. So Im not willing to go for more psychotherapy, counselling, CBT or whatever right now.

I do have my bloodwork done regularly so keep a check on my liver and my doc is ok with getting my bloods done anytime I ask. I do know there are doctors out there even in UK NHS land who keep a sharp eye on their budget and do try to withold treatments if they can but I know my doc is not one of them. Any time I have asked him for tests I have got them, also he is ok with seeing me as often as I need and always finishes the consultation by saying "you know where I am". He is not perfect, he has very limetied knowledge on mental health issues or alcoholism, and he is always worried about getting taken to court, but thats because his old partner was been taken to court for giving people valium, then when the adverts started saying you can sue your doctor for prescribing this people jumped on the bandwagon wanting to make a quick buck that is why he is reluctant to prescribe certain meds, antabuse is one he wont prescribe in case I take it and drink and then blame him for prescribing it knowing Im an alcoholic so it would be hiss fault. when things go wrong. I can see his veiwpoint, when people do this we are left with no doctors

I do know some of the people who did this and I disagree with them entirely, what they did had nothing to do with protecting there own or anyone elses health but just making money where they thought they could.

I dont know what you mean does the lager mess with my pain meds? it probably does say avoid alcohol on the packet, I havent read it but I dont think I drink enough for anything bad to happen.

Do you mean does it stop them working? I dont know, does lager stop codine working? I wouldnt think so.

Its interesting that you say you think I could go up on the baclofen when I was thinking of coming down.

Anyway enough about me, how are you COS, are you feeling any better and what are you taking now? I do wish you had your own thread so I could keep up with you because I am really caught up in your progress and do care about you I have noticed that you have come down in the bac, has that made you feel any better, how are the se's now, and also the drinking? is being AF easy or do you still want to drink. Do ou have to use willpower or just not interested. Because I have never done HDB I am very intersted in what happens when someone does. I think there is somthing that makes me want to go for it again but I dont know what I would benefit from it because Im not desaprate anymore. but there will always be a bit of me wondering what iddiferance is actually like.

In fact I have just answered my question, no I dont think I should because my biggest problems now are my depression and my back, so they are what I need to sort out.

[COSGringo]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space.
That's crazy about people suing over valium. I can't believe they can sue for that. I'd be glad to take it off their hands. Always good to have some back ups.

I only mentioned the alcohol because I know you said you had back pain and I was not sure about everything you are taking. You did mention codeine and that is usually mixed with acetaminopen (sp?)
That's real bad on your liver with alcohol. You can get sick from it. Just a thought. I am not preaching and I used to mix it up all the time. Again, I just know you are in pain and some meds are really tough on you with alcohol.

I only mentioned going up on the baclofen because you were drinking and I thought maybe it would help but if it's giving you more se's it's not worth it. You have a lot going on so maybe it's not a good fit. I'm no doctor that's for sure!

I am doing fine now. I am at 230. Today was tough late in the day, I thought of pouring a drink but I just ate instead. So I've got 6 days AF under my belt and too much food. I'd just like to go a bit longer.

Until today it was really easy being AF. Something seemed to had kicked in when I went down to 230. It's still working and it's easier to just say no. I still think about it but then I think again and just don't want it. I would say it's mostly disinterest but a little willpower.

So focus on your depression and your back. You have to prioritize and those sound like your key issues. I wish you the best and let us know how things are going. Just hang in there and know things will get better. Sometimes it just seems like forever.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Well done on your 6 days, thats great I am so excitied for you, you do seem to be over that bad blip you had.

Thanks COS, I appreciate your thoughts and answers to my posts. Really Im just a bit confused right now, I get what your saying about the pain meds and alcohol now, being bad for my liver, yep point taken. I cant stop the pain meds sooooo, that leaves me with trying not to drink the lager, Im not going to say I will stop drinking because that thought seems to send me into a panic and make me crave but I will keep the thought there. I have thought of taking an antabuse a few mornings now but am not sure about going down that route again. As for the bac, Im not getting se's from it, not that I know anyway Im just not sure if its doing anything at the level I am taking it and with m taking 4 other meds all prescribed to me by my doc, I think the thing with bac is that its never really sat right with me about self medicating, when I started taking bac and was intending to go to HDB I had a reason and goal in mind, now Im not so sure, but there again I dont know what I would be like without it, it may well be that the bac is keeping me from having the bad anziety I used to get, it could be the bac thats stopping me going on a bender and stopping me craving vodka, I really dont know.

The guys trying to sue the docs, they were claiming it was the doctors fault they had become addicted to valium, but the whole thing really was about a solicitors firm picking up on claims being made elsewhere. One guy who I knew even tried to add in that it was the docs fault he got cirrhosis because the doctor hadnt told him drinking so much was bad for him, he said he didnt know he was harming his health by drinking the amount he was. He had never told the doc how much he drank but tried to claim the doctor should have warned him anyway!