Me, myself and getting sober

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Can't anyone ask your cousin that was over there helping and see what they have to say about it? D

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Ive spent the evening putting together the flat pack furniture and kept busy to take my mind of it. Im just glad I took the AB because I dont want to think of what state I could have got in the mood I was in before. Thanks for the replies Stuck and TAW, I really did need to rant about it but now I need to leave it, theres nothing I can do.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Today I am exhausted but in a good way, its my sons 13th birthday and he got me up at 7.30 to get his present so I have spent part of the morning helping him set up his new tv, this new thing to record his gaming to his pc. I have no clue how we did it but we managed to get it all working so Im just sitting down for a few minutes and having a cigarette and a coffee while Im making the food for this afternoon, just my daughter and bf and my mum are coming as most of his friends are on holiday at the moment.

What a difference a week makes, this time last week I think I had a hangover. I have been wondering about my reasons for not drinking nowadays because they have changed since I first tried to stop when I was drinking sooooooo much and everything in my life was so fucking awful. Thats not the case now but there are still reasons why I dont want to drink right now. I dont want to upset my kids and mum becaus of everything that has happened in the past they will not accept me drinking at all as they think and will always worry that it will end in another bender. It costs too much money, I dont work so dont have much money to begin with. Drinking on my own in the kitchen takes up too much time and takes me away from other things and I hate the hangovers that take up a full day. Daily drinking isnt good for my health.

Thats all Ive got for now

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, something about the tone of that last post, you don't sound all that happy right now.

But I am so fucking happy for you, and proud of you if that's not all condescending-ish. You're absolutely right--a week makes such a big difference. Just think what the next day, and the next week will bring. This is the part very few people talk about, and it's totally unfair, and I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about--it often gets a whole lot worse before it gets better when we get sober. So just hang tight.

You might feel down in the dumps for a while. But you were sober and not hungover for your son's birthday! You helped him do a completely mundane task like set up a video game thingamajiggy. That's freaking huge--and again, while you might still feel a little down, you're already lifting him up, and the relationships around you are already going to start healing. One day at a time, every single day.

When my mom got sober, I hate to say it, but I don't think I even noticed. I was 16 or so, and angry about a lot of things. I knew she wasn't down in the basement every night, but I don't think I even really acknowledged it except maybe once or twice. But over time it made all the difference--for both of us.

Just stay the course. Do what ya' gotta do, especially the small things.

:l

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, Happy Bday to your son! Today is my son's 10th bday. He is with his dad this weekend, but I still woke up not hungover as you did! Was able to call him first thing to wish him a happy bday!

Good job on the week AF!! And Stuck is right, relationships are starting to heal....it takes a lot longer for them to heal, than for us to destroy them with our drinking. Hang in there, share with us and it will get better. Maybe your son does not realize it today, but he will look back at this birthday and remember that you were sober! That is the best birthday present you could give him.

[windycitylady]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, sometimes I wonder why I stay sober. I tell myself that my drinking wasn't THAT bad the last year or so. And my life doesn't seem that different since I quit. Sure, I wake up a little earlier and I exercise more, but what's really DIFFERENT? It's only when I talk to my friends and family and they tell me that I'm a completely new person does it sink in that, yes, there have been some pretty drastic changes. It's just so hard for me to see.
I'm sure your son loved having you sober today. It sounds like today was everything he wanted, and that makes me happy for both of you.
Don't discount what an achievement this week is. Or how different you are when sober. I know I'm guilty of doing both in my situation. But that's what we're here for! To offer each other perspective we may not have on our own.
I'm so happy for you!

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I have just written a long post and then lost it, its this laptop when I hit backspace the page dissapears!

I will try and put it shorter cos I cant be arsed typing it all out again.

I dont think I do feel low today, I just feel very tired. Doing the room over the past couple of days as well as everything else has really taken it out of me. But it has also given me a massive boost, I didnt think I could do anything anymore and I have shown myself that I can, ok I have taken 1/2 a modafonil each day but so what. I am starting to feel like the me I want to be, with some spark and energy. I also feel like I might be ready to start and do some kind of exercise, slow at first and I dont know what to do, walking, swimming the gym, Im not sure yet but I do want to start feeling better. The sun has been shining here for the past week and I think that has helped me feel better a lot.

I do find it hard to see any difference most of the time between my being sober and drinking. Especially when I spent all that time in bed a bit ago, I wasnt drinking then at all because I felt so bad and needed to know it wasnt drink causing it, but I was thinking that I might as well drink because I wasnt getting anywhere by staying sober.

A while ago my youngest son told me he thought it is amazing that I stopped drinking, he said he didnt think it would happen, he is younger than you where Stuck, my eldest son has told me he pretty well just waits for me to go on a massive bender again, it will take a lot of time and effort to change things with him but our relationship is getting better, he told me last night that he thought I had done well doing the room and he even kissed me on the side of my cheek which meant a lot to me.

TAW I have left a message on your thread for you.

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Dear Space,
I feel awful about what happened with your Uncles things but I know in reality there is nothing you can do, I'm glad you have been able to let go of it, as you said the thing that you can do is keep a close eye on your Aunt. And I am oh, so happy that you are starting to feel like the real YOU little by little, what a difference that makes, hugs and kisses to you.

Play

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

How goes it, Space?

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I have been feeling crap again since sunday and have spent most of the time in bed, I have been wanting a drink so much the thought of drink is back in my head as soon as I wake up. And other dark thoughts are back. I will have to go to my docs over my ad's as I dont like the one Im on now and cant carry on with it now this is back.

I have been reading but just cant get myself to post.

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Awww, Space, sorry you are so blue!!! Have you taken your AB? When are you seeing your doc? I for one swear by Prozac. I know it is old and there are supposedly newer better ones, but I have been on and off of it since 1999 and would not dare try anything thing else.

What can we do for you? Do keep us posted on how you are doing. Get it all out here! Maybe that will make you feel better! Don't worry if it makes sense, flows, etc. Just get it out into the open and out of your head! That helps me a lot sometimes!!

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

Oh Space, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say... how soon can you get to your doc's? I hope some tweaking of the ADs will sort this out. I was about to ask if the bac was helping at all, but I guess not if you're thinking about drinking all the time. God, so sorry.

No worries about posting/not posting. Just know that I'm thinking about you a lot and hoping all this gets easier for you soon.

:l

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hang in there Space, did you say you are taking gabapentin at all? I agree you need to change the AD. I know you'll hate me for it, but I'm going to suggest you go outside. Drag yourself pissing and moaning and just sit outside for a change or walk and notice the trees and the breeze and the animals. The vitamin D will do you good. Hang in there. :l

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Lest I sound too trite and unrealistically hopeful/happy, and piss you off, you should know I'm in the middle of another two day (so far) panic attack and a bottle of anything sounds good right now. I know I would just feel like HELL for doing it.

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, how are you feeling today? Any luck with getting in to see your doc soon? Please let us know how you are doing!