Me, myself and getting sober

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space, you "sound" like you are feeling better!! So glad to hear!!!

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

Good morning, Space! I haven't popped in here in a while, so I thought I'd say hello: "Hello."

Anyway, it does sound like you're feeling better, and that is great to hear. If it's not the case tell us all to F off, but hopefully that's not the case. Urgh, too many double negatives and italics in that sentence. Anyway, before I make a total mess of this, you get the idea

Oh, and I found you right away, 'cause I'm on the lookout... :H

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space...how ya doing??? Campral still working well for you?? Seen the doc yet for your AD's? Kids good??

Spain in October is definitely something to look forward to! Spain is beautiful!

Let us know how you are doing these days!!

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I havent really been feeling good, drinking way too much, just not enough resolve to not drink and also I havent been eating much either. But its now 4pm and Ive just had a bath and got dressed so am going to go out shopping and get some nice easy food. I think I will get a rotiserie cooked chicken and some nice french bread and salad, I did have a hangover this morning but its mostley worn off now.

So TAW no the campral isnt working well, but it does take the edge off the cravings I think, anyway I am not going to let this turn into some vodka bender. Right now Im pretty confused at what Im doing. And the answer about the AD's is Ive got a long wait to get the citalopram changed. It makes me feel so crap but better than when I dont take it if you get what I mean.

I havent read around yet so will look you all up on your threads to see how your all doing. Well I hope, Im very impressed by you Stuck and envious as well, the way you have stayed with the bac even when you where feeling bad on it and now it does seem to be working.

[ifulovelife2]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hey Bebe!

Good to see ya.

How can your join date be Aug 2009? Am I going mad or didn't you join in 2011? Weird.

M
X

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi M, I did join in 2009, I just didnt come on here much and kind of forgot about it until last year, I also went on another site at the time and I think I was pretty much using that one, it had a live chat room I used to go in but cos most of the peeps where in US I was asleep when it got busy and I lost interest in the end. I was also drinking a lot back then so used to get pretty paraniod because I would go on and no one would talk to me and I never knew if Id upset someone or not. I think the same would happen when I first cam on here tho, I would kind of leave one message and then if no one answered me quickley I would think that you were all unfriendly bastards and go away to cry:upset: I dont think I was very well at the time :H

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space. I've seen some of those older posts of yours, yeah, and I get it. My heart broke a little reading them, because I felt like I knew exactly where you were coming from. I thought that too, for a while--like what am I saying that nobody wants to talk to me? Anyway, glad you're out of that now, and have been for a while (and me, too!). Guess I never really had a good reason to think that--everyone's been really welcoming here--but maybe I'm just paranoid...

:l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

I didnt have a reason to worry about people on here not wanting to talk to me it was just me being paraniod. I have had an ok day today really, had a bath went shopping for food, ate lots of food and just sat and watched tv with my son. Im feeling ok really, its weird tho, I dont want to drink tonight but because my daughter is staying tomorrow night and I wont be able to drink my head has been telling me to drink lots tonight before she gets here, even tho I dont actually want to.

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space, I'm about to write a whole bunch probably on my thread, as I tend to disappear during the afternoon when people are around, then ramble away in the dark. But anyway, just want to say I'm really glad you had a good day.

The food sounds like just the thing. And getting out of the house to get food. That makes me smile a whole bunch. I completely get the thought of drinking now because you can't tomorrow. I'm kinda the same way, thinking about going "home" later this week. Both my DUIs happened at home, with my parents' cars, so things are a little weird, and have been for a while.

But it was all sort of just something we dealt with, before the night I went to the hospital for withdrawal. Before that, even with the DUIs, no one thought I had a "problem." So I'd walk the few blocks to the liquor store by myself when no one was looking, saying I was going for smokes or whatever, and I'd keep a bottle of whiskey stashed in the dresser drawer in the guest bedroom. My counselor was actually so matter of fact about it she floored me, when I was seeing her and about to go home to defend myself in court. She was just like how do you deal with your alcohol needs when you're there? No judgment, no anything, just a simple, practical question like she was really curious about the answer.

And now I'm thinking that 7 or 8 or whatever days of sober will be really good for me. And I'm on enough bac that it shouldn't be too much bother. But I'm also freaking out that I'm about to spend 7 or 8 days or whatever there, where I might not be able to drink. Or I'm going to do the same damned thing, and buy a bottle to stash in the drawer. But how pathetic is that? Taking the cure and acting like an addict...

I'm so sorry about throwing all this on your thread, Space. Can't even remember where I was going with this. I hope you had a good night, regardless of what you ended up doing. Tomorrow is a lovely day with your daughter. And we're right here with you, thinking about you, through all of it.

[wuthrich8]

Me, myself and getting sober

I so understand where you are coming from. Taking the cure, and acting like an addict. I even took too much topa two days ago. Being in Europe, and not getting responses. Sorry Stuck.. I know my writing style must drive you batty! I have followed your thread a long time! LOL! I am from LA originally, and your posts play out for me like a mixture between a 1940s movie and something a bit more modern. Seriously, turn it into something one day, when you feel comfortable with it. I am very visual, so i see the whole story played out as a movie.

Space.... it nice to see more so where you are coming from..... I am going to keep reading! I hope you dont mind me spying on you! hehehe!

Oh, and dont drink if you really dont want to, but dont be hard on yourself if you do... HUGS!!

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

First off I need to tell you off Stuck, please dont ever apologise for posting anything on here, Im sure Ive said it to you before, I need to remember as well that we can put anything we need or want on here. Dont know what time I got back to sleep, around 6 or se and Im up again already! I am going out soon to get my daughter and bf and yes if I think about it it does stress me out a bit that I know I cant drink while they are here, well I can do the sneaking off, having a drink in the bath, cleaning my teeth all that stuff I used to do all the time but that causes more stress. The thing with my daughter is that she seems to be able to see right through me and know when I have had just one drink, no one else ever notices but her. I have got some cans stashed in the car, and I worry that she will just look and find them as we are driving along, but then if I bring them in the house she will probably find them anyway, that was part of my logic as well for wanting to drink them last night to get rid of them, as we all know theres only one way to get rid of booze and thats to drink it

Shes probably only here for one night and Im carrying on like Im on some big expidition and may not make it back or something.

Taking the cure and acting like an addict is a good way of putting it Stuck, even when I know I dont really want to drink, I definately dont need to drink theres another part of me that tells me that I should, or I have to, some ridiculous internal battle I have with myself. Wu if your reading my thread your doing something I cant do so good luck with it. I did read about your mum and your sis and really cant tell you what I think you should do except to do what you feel is right, I do think that you want to go, youve written about a lot of things tho, you mum, you wanting to just take your daughter to school and take time out for yourself, I do think that is a good idea, and also where your daughter is best living. Probably best to weigh them up seperately and see how you feel then but I think you already know in your heart what you want to do.

Ok Id best go and get dressed then and go and get them, even when I write that I feel like it should be in capitals THEM and probably red to signify the devil or whatever.

xx

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space and everyone!

Space, you helped me be AF yesterday. I felt the same way and for the first time in a while was going to go AF. But then I had that little voice inside niggling me. But I need to lose some weight, yes, the same old story, and the alcohol is getting me down. Up in weight and down in energy and feeling pretty damn ugly. So I was feeling pretty staunch but you clinched it. I didn't want to drink and so I didn't drink and didn't let the conversation continue in my head.

If I had anyone telling me not to, I would want to drink more. I want to drink more around my mom, because she's hyper aware of my intake and watches me. I sneak successfully (I think) around her but as I'm at her house when this all goes down, I'm sure she sees the next day that the wine bottle is drained or that there's a new one opened.

Anyways, all that to say that I need to GRAB onto that lack of need to drink and cherish it instead of fighting it. I am so in awe of you and Taw and Windy for going AF for stretches of time. :bow

Tomorrow is my bday. Will it be my first sober bday or will I feel like I need to celebrate? Guess!

spacebebe01;1361286 wrote: I didnt have a reason to worry about people on here not wanting to talk to me it was just me being paraniod. I have had an ok day today really, had a bath went shopping for food, ate lots of food and just sat and watched tv with my son. Im feeling ok really, its weird tho, I dont want to drink tonight but because my daughter is staying tomorrow night and I wont be able to drink my head has been telling me to drink lots tonight before she gets here, even tho I dont actually want to.

[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Happy Early Bday, Bruun! I think you can be sober for it!! But I get the wanting to celebrate!! How about celebrating with a special juice mixture?? I know, not even close to a glass of wine!!

I do truly hope that it is a good birthday and that however you decided to spend it, you are happy! And we are here for you no matter what!!

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks Taw, my buddy. I will spend some of it right here, unhung over! :l Day 2! Why do I count? Seems like counting doesn't help me avoid the special pitfall days of 3, 7 and 11ish.

[StuckinLA]

Me, myself and getting sober

It's like the superstitious elevators, Bruun, where there's no 13th floor. If 3 and 7 and 11ish give you troubles, don't count those. Count the ones that help, and maybe eventually they'll all help. [EDIT: and there should totally be an emoti of some kind right here, 'cause this should sound kinda like a winky-face, but a very stern winky-face, maybe, or ugh I don't know. Emoti!]

I just saw on my Facebook feed a post by--this will sound weird--the younger sister of my ex-girlfriend from college. Anyway, she's preggers again (she and my ex/love of my life always seem to be pregnant at the same time, whatevers). And it was her (younger sis) anniversary. So her husband took her to a fancy-schmancy restaurant for dinner, and waiting on the table was a chilled bottle of sparkling grape juice. In her post this was the happiest/sweetest, most wonderful gesture in the world. Now, this girl isn't what you'd call a drinker anyway, but it was lovely to see someone so head over heels and happy to see the acknowledgment that AL would be appropriate here, but certainly not necessary.

What was I saying? Oh, right. Space I almost spit out my coffee this morning, you crack me up. The expedition? Wow. Then the THEM!? And especially the "or whatever..." that's the kind of thing that goes a step beyond. Because a lesser woman would have stopped with "devil." :l and hearts.