Me, myself and getting sober

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Dear Space,
Please start feeling better, hopefully the flu bug can't last much longer. Wish you could have been here with me and Sun but I think you and I will really enjoy our time together in Spain, I'm so looking forward to the Grand Flamenco performance, I only ever go to the small ones but I'm planning for us to attend the really extravagant one which I have always wanted to see. I have some pictures that I will email to you of Sun and my visit, probably take me a few days as I am working now most of the week.

So, get well, see you soon,
Love,
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[taw]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space! How are you feeling?? The door thing happens to me all the time!! Usually it is cabinet doors! They just decide to open!

Hope you got some good sleep and are feeling better!

XO
Taw

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Thanks, Im ok, not much to say tho

xo

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space, I've been worried about you, are you ok? Are you over the flu Bug? Are you down in the Dumps? I'm down in them too. Do you hear from your daughter since the wedding? How is your mum doing? And your Aunt that you are now trying to keep watch over?

My little granddaughter in Spain had her sleep study today which will be the next step in the crucial treatment that she needs now, don't know if you remember anything about her condition that she was born with, but when we get the results then they can proceed with things, and the treatment is really crucial during the first two years, so we are really happy today, don't want to go into all the details here on the thread.

Space, looks like my daughters surgery will not be happening until in November, so it will not really be Beach weather when we get together, but it is always lovely to go to the sea and walk, and I still want to do the Flamenco dance thing, and it will be just as wonderful to get together then. I'm sorry that it won't be as sunny and warm but I think it will still be great, let me know what you think.

Well, please post and let me know how you are, I've been really worried about you, I've really been missing you and can't wait to see you.
E
Love,
Play

[wu1969]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hey there space!
You know, sometimes we just think cabinet doors are closing by themselves, and things like that. Sometimes we just have things that are attracted to us. Like me... come on.. have you ever, in your entire life, seen someone who has chaos attracted to someone else as it is to me? Is AL the cause, or the effect?
In my case I dont just have chaos following me around.... i have a case of being overly sensitive. Overly empathetic, and sensitive not only to things that go on around me but also to things like people and things that will happen. I dont take it very seriously, but still the stronger ones i take note to, and try to be careful. Now I am the nutjob on your thread. Sometimes the AL opens things up... ironically. Sometimes it just makes me overly sensitive. Keep your cabinet doors closed! Your doors as well. Sometimes one needs to sweep the dirt out. There are things we can do to keep these things out, and at bay. Old wifestales may have some truth. I am a Christian, so i dont really practice many old ways, but am aware of them, as i had to go on my own search for truth, long story. I cant post it either. These are not DTs you are having. One half of a pint wont give you that, nor will 10. Maybe I should send you some chocolate... lol!

[wu1969]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space.. where are you? We are getting worried! Just drop in please and write..

I. AM. FINE.

Love you darling!

[LadyLush]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space,

Where are you? You are much too quiet and I want to hear about the wedding. Please let us know you are okay. PM if you'd like just get back here!


LL:l

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Space ??, Come On, please, at least just give us a few words saying that you are OK, we are your friends, you know, and worry when we don't hear from you, just like you worry about your kids if you don't know where they are, so just say "hi", let us know you are out there and we will respect your need for privacy, no need to post more if you don't feel like it, just a "hello", will do,

Love you,
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[GingerDust]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hiya, Space. Hope you're hanging in. :l

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hiya, thanks for all your messages and thinking of me, among everything else I didnt have the money to pay the bill and have the internet cut off for a few days, so its back on now and Im ok. Still struggling up and down with the drinking, woke up at 6am on Friday and for god knows what reason I opened a bottle of vodka and started drinking it then, anyway my mum and daughter came round because I wasnt answering the phone and there was a kick off but were all ok again now, how many times do I have to do this to know not to buy vodka in the first bloody place. I go for so long without wanting it and then just go and get a bottle. Anyway last night was another one can night, I didnt have that until quite late and just didnt want anymore. This is what I dont understand, my drinking has changed so much, there are days I only want one or two or even none but then days when I just get drunk, not that many of them tho, but why. After all this time drink is still such a major issue for me even when I am only drinking a little bit.

So apart from money worries, which are suddenly getting a lot worse and the fact my house is still a mess homelife is ok. Oh, my youngest son keeps on asking me if I will swap bedrooms with him, his room is tiny and not really big enough for a bedroom at all, because he uses his room much more than I do, I just use mine to get dressed in and sleep, he uses his all the time it would make sense but I still dont feel quite right about it and I dont know why, what do you all think?

I hope everyone is well, I am just going to have a quick look round and see other threads

Loads of love XO

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Swap Bedrooms!

Hi Space, oh, so glad you are back, sorry for you woes, but you are back:goodjob:.

Now, I think you should swap rooms because your son needs a bigger room than you do:h

I'm so tired, bye for now, love you,
Play

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Im still pondering the room situation but thanks for your input Play, I do like to get other opinions from my own when I cant decide what to do.

Why are you so tired?

xx

[Bruunhilde]

Me, myself and getting sober

I'm not a parent Space, but swapping rooms is more than just swapping rooms. Its giving up the authority position, the position of power. I would go to an online forum for family therapy or something and ask there. Your son needs to look up to you as an authority figure especially as he enters adolescence. Maybe what he really needs is a corner to do his homework in and listen to music and text his friends. Maybe a special set up in his tiny bedroom would do, or a corner in the common area.

Just my two cents.

BTW I am the same as you with the alcohol. I am drinking much less than I did a year ago and so much less overall. I had sake last night and a martini when I went out to dinner with a friend. I'm so jacked up on anxiety and boredom right now, busy with work and the real estate but still consumed with money worries, my lost good looks, my empty life ... it drives me to escape but I don't really escape by drinking anymore. It doesn't work. I seem to need to remind myself over and over that the drinking is not worth the pain and suffering and ugliness I get from it. That hard liquor is what gets me. It lights my fire unlike anything else, so if I stay away from it, I tend to not overdo it. I find if I drink wine anymore, which I do when I'm dying for a martini but refuse to buy the hard stuff, the wine makes me much more sick than the gin. Its less alcohol but its full of sulfites and god knows what. Its less pure=more pain but if I have just one of those, I want more and more and more. But it doesn't end up making me feel happy anymore, I do escape to sleep faster but wake up bloated, nauseaus, bleary. That's my Monday morning today.

The good news is things have been changing and I now have perspective that I didn't ever have before. I can see the alcohol more clearly as the poison it is. I see my cravings as a desire for escape from the drudgery and lack of fun in my life. I can see that I need to add activities to my weekly life in order to not need the escape from boredom and crappiness of workworkwork.

None of the things people list as fun activities sound fun to me.

[spacebebe01]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Bruun, great to hear from you, and yes its the meaning of swapping rooms is one big thing that bothers me, the practicalities are obvious, but I am thinking that I could just give him 1/2 the living room, which no one uses much anyway to store his stuff, and it would be easy enough for him to move his xbox so when his friends are over they can still use that in there, its only the pc in his room he cant move, for fucks sake it would be better to just lend him my laptop than give him my room. The other reason is, and now heres the biggie, it seems to me that giving up my bedroom is like giving up the idea that I wont be with anyone again, ever, I know for now that my being with a man isnt on the cards, not even near, but Im not ready to say thats for good. maybe one day I will get my mojo back, who knows and if that happens I will need somewhere to use it

I agree with you Bruun that npone of the fun things sound fun to me either, and I do see alcohol totally for what it is, but then I get the times where whats the alternative, I dont know one, thats the problem and weirdly the more I sober up and start feeling things the more I remember the good times of drinking, because thats what my life was, made up of drinking times, I know the bad shit so well that when a good memory of feeling pops up its a surprise, and I want it again. The drinking for me now I think is about depression, fatigue, boredom, loneliness, wanting to relive my past, not sure what else but what else do I need to know. Its just nowadays I have less of the drinking and more of the depression.

[playland]

Me, myself and getting sober

Hi Space,
Oh, well, I was only thinking that kids your sons age seem to need a space where they can have their friends and have it be private, not like in the living room. I remember my kids always wanted to be in their room with their friends, not out where a parent could overhear them or watch them. So, I guess I don't see it so much as an authority or power thing so much as just kids needing a space to be themselves.

And you will need a space to have your privacy also when that time comes and I think when the time comes it will for sure work itself out:h, Space, take one thing at a time and let things come in their own time. I'm sure Bruun has some good ideas also but I don't see parenting as being about power and authority, more about listening and understanding. In any case you and your son will work it out just fine either way, children are very adaptable, thank god, they survive in spite of "parents":H:H:H

So dear Space, I was tired last night just because I had worked all day and my feet hurt from standing on them all day. I get up pretty early, 5:30am to be at work by 7am and get home around 6pm, it's a long day.

Anyway, bye, love you and see you soon,
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