Starting out on Bac: Questions

[Pronoia2012]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

I drank half a glass of wine yesterday.
BAD: I would have preferred not to, and I had a feeling I was "giving in" to cravings.
GOOD: No more drinking followed.

Is this a bad sign, or a good one?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Hey, Pro.
Bummer about the wine. Sort of.

I took great relief in not counting days. Or whatever. This is my take on it, and my take alone, okay? What I do (did) is drink. Definition of alcohol dependence? Relapse. It was exhausting to feel like I was always going to have a day one again.

I stopped doing that. (Having a day one. Or relapsing.) I guess what I'm saying is that it only has the significance you put on it. I'm not suggesting that AF time isn't a great thing. That's the whole point, right? But, well, this is a bit different.

And yes, I think it's pretty significant that you didn't drink more. What do you think? And more importantly, perhaps, did it open the flood gates? 'cause I can highly recommend avoiding a hangover.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

That was the Ne-version (long) of, nah. It's not a big deal. Unless you think it is. :H

[Pronoia2012]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Hi Ne!
I was hoping you'd reply, and your reply makes sense.
I didn't count dates or total abstinence when I stopped other bad habits, like smoking.
The worrisome thing is that I really wanted this glass of wine in the first place.
I'd like to not want one anytime.

[RedThread12]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Hey Pro:

I think 1/2 glass of wine is a freakin' great sign!!! And to stop and not keep going?!?!?! Doesn't that feel like a miracle? It felt like one when that happened for me.

That was in '09, and yes, I've had some wine now and then, since then. But wanting MORE, like I used to, ALL the time, has never happened again. It probably won't happen for you again, either.

Re falling out of bed . . . I've never done that, but the first night I took bac I got up to go the bathroom and instead, opened my closet door and walked in. Luckily, sitting down on the vacuum cleaner sent some kind of message that got through the fog that I was not in the right place!

Onward! and Good Luck! Looks like your well on your way to a miracle!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

What she said ^^^ (minus the closet. :H)

RedT, when're you going to retell the story about Hugh Hefner??? Did you know that it is what I thought about when I woke up panicky in the middle of the night? The idea of you cavorting with Hugh, et. al. gave me a grin EVERY time. Thanks. :l

[RedThread12]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Amusing side effects of baclofen

Ahh, Ne, that was in the first thread I ever started on MWO. I titled it "Amusing Side-Effects of Baclofen."

I thought these things were hysterical, and, like you, kept making me LOL when I thought about them through the days. But that was in the "olden" days of bacsters. I got exactly one additional comment on that thread. And that was from someone not even taking bac.

[RedThread12]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Ahhh, Ne, that was in the "olden days" of bacsters. I posted it in the first thread I ever put up on MWO and titled it "Amusing Side Effects of Baclofen." I got exactly one comment, from someone who doesn't take baclofen. crying emoticon

I'm so glad to hear that you read it and it made you smile. And that's why I'm so grateful for you and LoOp and Murph, et al. All I could assume, at that time, was that I was the only one who found weirdnesses funny. laughing emoticon

Digression - Does anyone know how I can make my emoticons work? They've all gone on strike and constantly taunt me from the side of the page.

I barely remember the dream myself, but I'll see if I can find that old thread. Vivid dreams DO continue on my bac-path, however. I've even been able to execute "lucid dreaming" - knowing that I'm dreaming while I'm dreaming. In some traditions, it's a spiritual practice. Very cool and often powerful. If I can't find my "Girls Next Door" dream, I'll see if I can re-member sufficiently to re-write. F'in THROB emoticon.

[Emcee]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Hi Pro - I've been reading your posts since I am anxiously awaiting for my bac delivery in the mail. Like you, I am concerned about the sleepiness at work. I work 8-5pm Mon - Fri and can't take time to nap or be unavailable mentally. How are you doing with that?

Also, I know exercise was discussed earlier in your posts...are you still able to exercise w/out feeling clumsy? I take hip hop dance classes 6 days a week and will just cry if i have to miss them - they are my escape!

How are you feeling now on the Bac and what amounts would you drink in the past?

Thanks for sharing,
Em

[Pronoia2012]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Hi Emcee, I have had to go to work regularly on 4 or fewer hours of sleep. Sometimes none. Once I'm there, though, I can function almost normally, but not at my best.

Other users have said they feel more like exercising, but I'm still waiting for that wonderful side effect. don't regularly exercise, besides housecleaning/home maintenance stuff. I do feel more clumsy doing home maintenance; I misplace more screws, forget to get something out of the garage.

I feel sometimes calm, sometimes like I don't care. At times I have horrendous headaches, but the profound insomnia is the worst. I drank about eight beers at Christmas and have doubled that, easily.

The day after Christmas, I didn't want to drink. Even these cravings, even giving in to one, feels different. The wine tasted rancid, like it would to a kid.

It was just not that fun.

[Emcee]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Yay Pro - that is so positive! And exactly what i'm looking for (I think). And by that I mean that you said the cravings are less. I want it, but I don't. I want to stop w/the morning self loathing, but I don't want to stop with the numbness I feel after drinking and when life doesn't seem so bad.

So...I'm still wondering what amount of bac are you on right now? You seem like you are in such a better place.

Em

[Pronoia2012]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

60 mg total, 20 three times a day.
Emcee, when is your ETA for your Bac?

[Emcee]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Not soon enough! I ordered through Gold Pharma and received a confirmation yesterday that it was shipped, I just don't know where they are and how long it will take to get to me.

Are you staying at 60 mg or still going up?

[Nutshell]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Emcee;1245858 wrote: Hi Pro - I've been reading your posts since I am anxiously awaiting for my bac delivery in the mail. Like you, I am concerned about the sleepiness at work. I work 8-5pm Mon - Fri and can't take time to nap or be unavailable mentally. How are you doing with that?

Also, I know exercise was discussed earlier in your posts...are you still able to exercise w/out feeling clumsy? I take hip hop dance classes 6 days a week and will just cry if i have to miss them - they are my escape!

How are you feeling now on the Bac and what amounts would you drink in the past?

Thanks for sharing,
Em

About the tiredness at work thing. I was worried about that too. I have found that I have had no problems with this, but I did increase the doses very slowly, upping my intake only once a week.

[Emcee]

Starting out on Bac: Questions

Nutshell;1246579 wrote: About the tiredness at work thing. I was worried about that too. I have found that I have had no problems with this, but I did increase the doses very slowly, upping my intake only once a week.

Good to hear Nutshell - how much do you up yours each week and how are you doing now? What does are you at? I love reading how everyone is doing sorry If I am taking over Pro's thread. Knowledge is power!