Need to dig out of this whole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

[XWino]

I have for years tried to ge over my ALC problem. The only time I ever did abstain totally was when pregnant with twins. Now it again rears its ugly head over my family and my life. Things I worked hard for, my best friend says i am determined to self-sabotage myself. Our job has the authority to speak with my PCP or any of my doctor's so I don't admit the truth to them. I need to do it alone. The best part is dont experience any withdrawal symtoms when I quit. I have had night sweats, but have learned they occur even if I have been drinking. I CANNOT TALK TO A DOCTOR and CANNOT ADMIT THIS TO A THERAPISt. It can affect my job. On my own, I am considering the following protofcal:

*Take vitimins, including l-glut and magnesuim and b-12 vitamins.
*Start one of the step classes on the Wii
* obtain antaabuse off line (I have to do this alone)
*Continue with my BAC until antabuse arrives
Use antabuse and BAC until the BAC kicks in
Stay at the indiferrent place for mounths then wean down if everything is ok
Keep antabuse handy for when my life is stressful I need to drink
Thinking of also ordering lorazapam for these stressful emergencies (I dont abuse it) But when things occur and it gives me the shakes. Taking some will help.
*join MWO, SR and AA online meetings.

The biggest is trying to find a hoppy to replace this. Hubby would be annoyed with me online with chat groups. He likes us to watch tv till bed, but that is something that made me want to drink.]

PLEASE anything wrong with what I intend to try? Is is illegal to get lorazapam from oeverseas? I just want to be normal again. I got to 35 years of age with no problems..

[penelope67]

Need to dig out of this whole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

you poor thing! I can feel your stress. I totally relate! You have put together a really good plan. personally I would take Naltrexone instead of Antabuse. The baclofen will ease your anxieties right away but if you still need to drink for a while while you are titraing up then taking a Naltrexone before you start drinking will help you control how much you drink. I took Naltrexone for a while and i was really amazed how it worked. You are drinking as usual and then suddenly naltrexone kicks in and you just don't want anymore alcohol and you stop. pretty cool. I never took antabuse so i can't say anything but it seems pretty extreme. Also as far as baclofen is concerned, once you reach your "switch' dose the new protocol as per Amiesen is to stay on that dose indefinitely. Some people titrate down but it seems like 80mgs is the lowest they go. If you start baclofen you might not need Lorazapan bkz baclofen is very calming right away. Bvitamins are good. I take B complexs plus 750mg of Niacin. Niacin is calming I think. Hang tight you will make it!!

[Bruunhilde]

Need to dig out of this whole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

Hi X,

Does your husband think you drink too much, or does he at least recognize you drink too much in your own opinion? If you could sit in bed with him while he watches TV and just tune out and use a laptop or other portable device, you'd still be together. Marriage is about compromise and you should each want the other to be healthy and happy. Otherwise it's not a great partnership. Can you tell him that you MUST cut down/stop drinking and the TV watching drives you crazy enough that you need sedation with drink? And since you've identified this is an issue, can he help you by adjusting to this change or some other change (maybe you need to be in another room!). Just because things have always been one way doesn't mean that way works now. The way things have been is something that has helped lead you to where you are now. Change is good. Best of luck, be strong! Be patient with him but be firm.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Need to dig out of this whole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

Hi X. Wow. That's an awful lot going on.

Each of those things sounds like a positive step. The medications, the support groups, finding some sort of balance so you can accomplish this without much in-person support. I definitely can relate though it's been a while.
When I got here (to MWO) I had some pretty elaborate and dramatic plans. I soon found that they got in the way of one another. I figured out (eventually) that I needed to focus a bit to accomplish the one thing I felt was holding me back-booze.

You can safely combine some of those meds. You can also find a way to get the support you will surely need by managing your husband's expectations and your time. Antabuse will keep you from drinking or land you in the hospital, but you have to take it. I think this is not such a bad idea given how frustrated and ready you seem from your post. Campral can also help w craving in the short term. Baclofen is a good long term solution but it's unlikely to give the immediate relief you are desperate for. That said, it saved my life and I'm glad I got to the point where I could focus on that.

I have to go. Hang in there and don't give up. :l

[Dosage0]

Need to dig out of this whole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

XWINO,

I read your post and I know what you are talking about. I too have a job that would react negatively to me admitting I have a problem with alcohol. I think it would be even worse if I were to declare that I found help in high levels of baclofen. I do, however, take issue with your conclusions about therapists. As far as I know, unless you are thinking about killing yourself or someone else, they are legally bound to keep everything confidential. You might gain a lot of insight by talking to someone openly about your own issues. I have had to admit to a lot of on the job transgressions that would get me fired without any second thought without issues to a therapist. If you are like me, you only find peace when you are drunk. I know for me I felt like I could not stop under any circumstance. Like the AA people have said before me, I can only speak from my own personal experience. I think even with antabuse, I still would have tried to drink -- even if only for a moment I found that magic feeling before I began getting sick. At the end I wanted to only drink and would only find that feeling for less and less time before I passed out. Baclofen did work for me, but it took me months to get to the level I needed to be at. I am currently at 320 mg a day and I don't think working at this level would be possible. I am getting more and more used to being at high level, but I did develop really bad somnolence. I would have been taking down drug dealers and entering high level stress situations -- gun in hand -- ready to pass out -- literally. I had to make a choice, either die drunk or fight and give up a huge part of my professional life. I chose the way out that worked for me, sooner or later I fear that you too will have to decide what is the best way for you to get out of your situation. Eventually I had to let someone know... that someone turned out to be my live in girlfriend of two years. The kinder softer way ends eventually despite all my attempts to make it not so.

AA is great and I love AA. The only problem with AA, that I have found, is that speaking about medication is a big no-no. It completely depends on who you talk to. I have had long time AA members, even my old sponsor, not talk to me any longer because he claims alcoholism is a spiritual problem that needs a spiritual solution. I have had old AA friends tell me that they don't care if I found a way to eat liquorish to stay sober. The message that I have to carry is a way to remain sober. I was told by a "main" member of a local AA chapter that I was wrong to attend AA meetings. It all depends on who you speak with.

Good luck to you... I hope you find a way that works. Please do reconsider getting some sort of outside help with someone you can bounce your ideas off of; IE: a Therapist.

Dose