Need to dig out of this hole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

[XWino]

I have for years tried to ge over my ALC problem. The only time I ever did abstain totally was when pregnant with twins. Now it again rears its ugly head over my family and my life. Things I worked hard for, my best friend says i am determined to self-sabotage myself. Our job has the authority to speak with my PCP or any of my doctor's so I don't admit the truth to them. I need to do it alone. The best part is dont experience any withdrawal symtoms when I quit. I have had night sweats, but have learned they occur even if I have been drinking. I CANNOT TALK TO A DOCTOR and CANNOT ADMIT THIS TO A THERAPISt. It can affect my job. On my own, I am considering the following protofcal:

*Take vitimins, including l-glut and magnesuim and b-12 vitamins.
*Start one of the step classes on the Wii
* obtain antaabuse off line (I have to do this alone)
*Continue with my BAC until antabuse arrives
Use antabuse and BAC until the BAC kicks in
Stay at the indiferrent place for mounths then wean down if everything is ok
Keep antabuse handy for when my life is stressful I need to drink
Thinking of also ordering lorazapam for these stressful emergencies (I dont abuse it) But when things occur and it gives me the shakes. Taking some will help.
*join MWO, SR and AA online meetings. I have to do this alone. Amy I mssing something? I fear bac, because of the risk of getting it online. I am going on vaction the end of January wit people who think I stopped drinking. I DONT WANT TO DRINK. Please help me. Will my plan fail? Any advice?

The biggest is trying to find a hoppy to replace this. Hubby would be annoyed with me online with chat groups. He likes us to watch tv till bed, but that is something that made me want to drink.]

PLEASE anything wrong with what I intend to try? Is is illegal to get lorazapam from oeverseas? I just want to be normal again. I got to 35 years of age with no problems..

[spacebebe01]

Need to dig out of this hole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

Hi X I think your plan is pretty sound. Im not sure what you put in the title about antabuse or campral, they are such different meds. I take them both and am doing really well with them. Its the antabuse that stops me drinking and the campral (I think) helps with the cravings and helps me feel better). Or you could of course use antabuse and bac, its entirely up to you, I have never been on ac long enough to be able to comment on it but lots of people on here swear by it...I think you would have trouble finding lorazapam online from a reputable pharmacy. I know there are places that advertise it but have never tried them because Im not sure of the quality of the stuff they sell. I think it is a controlled drug. Although Im not to worried about the legality of it myself,

Does your husband know what your are intending to do? It would be good if he did and was supportive of you, I dont know hav bad your drinking is ut the fact is you what to stop and have come on here so I assume it must be bad enough for you. Cna you try to explain the situation to him.

Best witshes with your plan to making a better life

[Wally22]

Need to dig out of this hole have bac, but scared thinging of antiabuse or camprall.

Hi XWino, I take antabuse and it has been a total liberator for me. I don't have to make a decision when offered alcohol, I know I have to say no.
I also found telling my doctor to be one of the most satisfying things I have done. I was afraid to tell her, but she has been very supportive and non-judgemental. I can understand about not telling the rest of the world, and I would share those concerns with your doctor. If you are concerned about this doctor, you might want to try for another doctor. My counsellor is a doctor and an alcoholic as well. I find him to be very easy to deal with and of course he understands the need for privacy as does my GP.
I might be a little careful about self medicating. Who knows what might pop up that you are not aware.
It never hurts to take better care of ourselves though.
You can go online with chat groups while watching TV simultaneously. I am pretty sure your husband would not object. I suspect he is aware of the problem and wants you to get all the help you need to overcome this obstacle.
Best of luck to you.