My Bac arrived! Now what??

[Emcee]

Hello everyone - I've been reading/lurking and doing a tiny bit of posting over the last few weeks while waiting on my bac to arrive. Well, it came yesterday and I'm so excited and scared at the same time!

Here's a bit about me...I wasn't always this submissive to al (I guess we all say that - duh). I was a weekend only drinker (albeit a heavy weekend drinker) until a few years ago when something happened in my marriage that sent me over the edge - yep - an affair. Hubby had w/my BFF. I don't want to really go into it anymore than that, but that was when I started my 7 day a week drinking. I would drink until I couldn't feel anything. I just wanted the pain to go away. Now almost 3 years later, I'm realizing I have not had more than 1 AF day in a row and it's time to stop the self loathing, the pity parties and get myself up, brush myself off and move on! I want to take control of this monster that has consumed me. Yet I want to still have it in my life - oh I just don't know if that can work. I'm so torn by it all. You see, I'm happiest when I pick up that glass and pour my first glass of wine. I mean, I look forward to going home just so I can drink! But by glass 3 I am hating that I started and yet, I continue to pour more until I pass out. I have 2 children (ages 9 and 6) and when they say "Mommy, you didn't hear me calling you last night?" I just want to cry. But day by day I drink - knowing it could endanger them when I can't hear them calling me. What if they come to me and can't wake me up? Oh that would freak them out. I think I've gotten so use to just doing the drinking that it is a habit. Or is it an addiction. I'm really a hot mess, can you tell?

So what happens now? I start out on 5mg a day for 3 days, then up it by 10mg a week? 20mg a week? What titration schedule do I follow? Should I call Dr. L and discuss my other meds to make sure I'm ok to combine them (i did join the epocrates web site too)? I've read a lot of great threads here and hope I don't fail due to fear of side effects. I've seen some of you go for weeks of SE's - I'm such a chicken shit, and hope I don't give up after a few sleepless nights and sleepy days. Grrr...I want to gain control and like ME again, but I also want to be able to have a few glasses of wine when I have friends over. Hell, we have a bar in our house that we built 5 years ago and belly up to it A LOT! Hubby (yes, we are still together) only drinks on the weekend and during the summer when hanging out by the pool, a cold beer is quite nice. Will I be able to be able to do that or maybe I'll become so indifferent that I'll actually be ok not having one? A year or so ago I tried Topamax, but it made my mouth taste like metal, I was very absent minded as well and gave up on it. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL AGAIN!!

Who knows what my future holds, but I love seeing the inspiration and support you all have for each other, I hope to be writing here in 6 months with a success story. Wish me luck, I think I'm going to need it.

Em

[Dosage0]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Yes, you should call Dr. L. He can talk with you about your titration schedule and any other medications you are taking.

It sounds like you may need to decide for yourself what you want to do. You want to quit, but you still want to drink. Baclofen worked great for me, but I think continuing to drink isn't a great idea. In my experience, when I am indifferent to alcohol, I could care less about having an alcoholic drink and would prefer a water. I had to head upwards of 360 mgs to hit an indifference, and there is no way I can stay there indefinitely. I will eventually need to come back down and continuing to drink might undue what has been done! Is it worth having a few glasses of wine with friends?

I am not a doctor, but the chances you will have zero SEs are small. I had my share of SEs and a lot of them sucked -- but I made up my mind I wanted to quit.

Good luck! Call the Dr.

[redhorse]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Emcee;1251570 wrote: ... I want to take control of this monster that has consumed me. Yet I want to still have it in my life - oh I just don't know if that can work. I'm so torn by it all. You see, I'm happiest when I pick up that glass and pour my first glass of wine. I mean, I look forward to going home just so I can drink! But by glass 3 I am hating that I started and yet, I continue to pour more until I pass out. .. I think I've gotten so use to just doing the drinking that it is a habit. Or is it an addiction.

Im sorry that had to happen you in your marriage. I dont take baclofen so I cant help you there but your words that I have quoted jumped out at me. I have just read a book by Jason Vale called Kick the drink easily and he really deals with all that type of thinking. I recommend that you read it because in my opinion it is a great book and I have read a mountain of alcohol addiction literature. I just got the feeling from reading your post that you might benefit from it. I got my copy from Amazon. Good luck.

[Emcee]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Thanks RedHorse and Dosage0 - I will give Dr. L a call tonight and hopefully get a few minutes to chat with him. RedHorse - I'm going to need something to do besides drink (hopefully!) so reading sounds really good about now!

I haven't read a book since the MWO book over a year ago.

[redhorse]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Good luck with your call tonight.
J. Vale has a very upbeat approach to putting down the drink which really appealed to me. He really helped me to blast the deprivation feelings out of my mindset. Its a great read for anybody like myself who tends to feel sorry for themselves if they are not drinking.

[RedThread12]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Hi Emcee: Congrats on getting this far along with your plan to find your way out!!

I've been taking bac since Oct. '09, and have read most of what has been posted here, had off-board exchanges, and am currently working with a D.O. who occasionally sends patients who need help to stop drinking to me, to help them with their baclofen protocol.

So, I guess, the good news is, I've done it, I've seen most of it, and I've walked a few people through their own process. The "other" news is this: I have seen very few instances in which what one person did worked precisely for someone else. (DANG! emoticon, if there were one, and mine weren't on strike). So I'll just give you a few first-hand case histories.

1. I started, as "the book" suggested, with 10 mg, 3x/day. Perfect for me. No side effects. Immediate relief from craving. I'm a baclofen poster child.

2. The D.O. sent me a patient. Started her at 10/10/10 . . . . whoa . . . way too much!! Put her to sleep, gave her scary dreams, etc. So we backed up to 10 mg/day, split into 2 doses. She hated being called out as an alcoholic, hated that the Dr. made her see me in order to continue the medication, and hated every subtle side effect that arose. She quit drinking, over a year ago, after titrating up to 30 mg/day. She has since titrated down to zero and continues to be AF.

3. My tenant got laid off because of drinking. I gave him "the book" over a year ago, but when he came to me he had no choice - he HAD to give baclofen a try, or die. Big guy in the construction trade. I started him at 10/10/10. Ooooops. Too much. Of course, he didn't tell me that he hadn't eaten in 3 days before he took the bac, and a lot of other stuff that has since been "revealed." So, clever guy that he is, he bac'd down to 5/5/5. It only took about 3 days for him to come out of a lengthy binge and have his first, effortless, AF day in years. He has since titrated up to 60 mg/day, and is happy there, for now. No cravings. Still drinking a beer now and then, but his words to me were "I never knew I could feel this good."

4. The good Dr. sent me another patient. Thinking I had learned my lesson, I started her at 10 mg for 3 days. We checked in. She had noticed nothing re drinking or side effects, so upped to 15 mg. I though I would hear from her, but she took matters into her own hands when the weekend arrived. Knowing that she could sleep during the day if the bac made her somnolent (I swear, this NEVER happened to me), she went from 15 mg on Friday to 40 mg on Saturday. Reported that she slept (which she probably needed, anyhow), and drank 1/2 her normal amount that night. The next day (Sunday), she went back down to 30 mg/day, but had her FIRST, EFFORTLESS, AF DAY, that day. Had she contacted me, I would have made her stay at 40; after doing that, then going back to 30, she again felt cravings for alcohol and gambling, and was losing sleep.

She is levelled out, for now. I'm sure she'll be another baclofen miracle, as is my tenant, as am I, as you are becoming. The moral of the above stories is this (and I appreciate the D.O. I am working with for recognizing that she is not the expert in this situation): The bac-path works! AND it is different for everyone.

I've seen on these boards, over time, that the recommended "beginning" dosage has decreased, dramatically. I felt "relief" from craving w/in 1/2 hour after my first 10 mg pill, and was happy w/Dr. Ameisen's published titration schedule. I've also seen, with my own eyes, that that is far too much for some people. And I know that some MWO'ers have taken many multiples of that schedule on their first dose with huge success.

My question to you, hoping that you've read as much as you possibly can from this f'in incredible, life-saving forum is: what "feels" right for you? What dosage do you feel confident about taking, knowing that you can take less if it's too much, or increase it quickly, if that feels right?

I think Dr. L is recommending starting at 5 mg/day. Quite divergent from what is printed in Dr. Ameisen's book. But I heart Dr. L. He gives me a prescription for boatloads of bac that I get to use to help other people.

And in the end (makes me think John Lennon, "the love you get, is equal to the love you make, but that's waaayy of topic, here), taking a pill will tell you a helluva' lot more than thinking about taking a pill. Feel free to pm me if you're still hesitating, if you need encouragement, or a sounding board.

Just START, okay? Huggy, heart emoticons.

[Emcee]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

I'd really like to be able to moderate, but seems like bac helps you completely get away from the al, so I guess that's ok too. Just a whole new mindset for me. I mean I've married into an Irish family - all they do is drink!

Ok so on the serious side...once I am taking more than the smaller amounts (going to do 10mg for the next 3 days - 5mg in AM, 5mg in PM) What times of the day is it best to take them. Because of the sleepiness, is it ok to maybe start out the first dose at lunch and then the second at say 5 and the third at 9 or 10pm to help me sleep?

I can't believe I am at my house, sitting at our bar WITHOUT a drink in my hand. Totally unheard of on a Friday night. Sadly I'm having a mental fight with myself since a bottle of my fave wine is just steps away. I am really just quite frightened of how I'm going to react w/mixing al with BAC, with my Celexa etc...Enough fear instilled in me to stay sober tonight. Plus w/hubby out of town, I want to be alert for my kids. For some reason they have both been telling me they are afraid and I feel super compelled for some reason not to drink.

Have a great night everyone and thanks for the advice.

[Dosage0]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Emcee;1251777 wrote: I'd really like to be able to moderate, but seems like bac helps you completely get away from the al, so I guess that's ok too. Just a whole new mindset for me. I mean I've married into an Irish family - all they do is drink!

Ok so on the serious side...once I am taking more than the smaller amounts (going to do 10mg for the next 3 days - 5mg in AM, 5mg in PM) What times of the day is it best to take them. Because of the sleepiness, is it ok to maybe start out the first dose at lunch and then the second at say 5 and the third at 9 or 10pm to help me sleep?

I can't believe I am at my house, sitting at our bar WITHOUT a drink in my hand. Totally unheard of on a Friday night. Sadly I'm having a mental fight with myself since a bottle of my fave wine is just steps away. I am really just quite frightened of how I'm going to react w/mixing al with BAC, with my Celexa etc...Enough fear instilled in me to stay sober tonight. Plus w/hubby out of town, I want to be alert for my kids. For some reason they have both been telling me they are afraid and I feel super compelled for some reason not to drink.

Have a great night everyone and thanks for the advice.

I know I am a broken record... but I just spoke with Dr. L. tonight and he is by his phone for another hour. He can give you the best advice with your mix of medications and your schedule. I know that I was advised not to take Bac within a few hours of trying to go to sleep as it does not act at all like a sleep medication for me. I take my last dose around 0800 or so when I try and sleep at 1100-1200.

[Emcee]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Dosage0;1251847 wrote: I know I am a broken record... but I just spoke with Dr. L. tonight and he is by his phone for another hour. He can give you the best advice with your mix of medications and your schedule. I know that I was advised not to take Bac within a few hours of trying to go to sleep as it does not act at all like a sleep medication for me. I take my last dose around 0800 or so when I try and sleep at 1100-1200.

On phone w/him now!! will update when I'm done . YAY!:thanks:

[Emcee]

My Bac arrived! Now what??

Doseage0- just had the phone call with Dr. L - what a super nice man. He gave me my first 4 weeks schedule + I can get a script through Walgreens (yay, American drugs) for probably a lot less than what I just paid to have shipped from out of the country from a pharmacy I know nothing about. Plus he explained the times of day to take the bac and even a little explanation on how it works. Oh, and he double checked the combo of it w/my antidepressant and I'm all good to get moving!!

Whew! I feel so much better now. I needed that push - so thanks again for that!
Em