So today is my "Switch-a-versary" and I thought I'd post a quick update.
For those who don't remember me or have joined in the last few months, I began taking baclofen on December 15, 2010. I had a long history of severe alcohol abuse and had begun to believe that I'd never find my way out of it. I ran across something on the Web in late 2010 regarding baclofen and alcoholism. I googled baclofen and was absolutely dumbfounded by what I read - and determined to take it myself! I knew somehow, deep down, that baclofen would be my salvation.
I contacted Dr. L and spent the next two months going up to 190/day. I had been drinking four beers a night for a couple of weeks, but on Valentine's Day of last year I had a hard time choking down two of them. They tasted awful and I couldn't drink the last two. The next day I knew I had hit my switch; the two remaining beers sat in my fridge and I couldn't even look at them. It was truly a "switch"--it was as definitive as night and day.
Well, I did some things wrong after a while. I began going down in my dosage after a month or two, and around the same time tried to moderate my drinking. Those two decisions led to almost-disastrous consequences: I went from drinking once a week, to a couple of times a week, to drinking almost daily, then back to drinking daily for a while. I went back up to 140/day and have stayed there since. When I would try to drink at that level, I could get the beers down but they would produce no high whatsoever. I have finally decided that drinking isn't worth it and have determined that moderation has no place in my life. Total sobriety is my new plan. When I hit six months of total sobriety I might try to go back down to 80-100, but I'm in no rush at this point.
Early on after my switch, I found myself growing increasingly depressed. Every evening was a gaping hole that I used to fill with drinking, and it was incredibly difficult to find anything to do with my thoughts during that time. But over time I've found ways to fill my evenings. I've started doing going to Crossfit several days a week (it's brutal and addictive!), I go to obedience classes with my dogs, I decorate and paint my new (rented) house, I spend more time with friends and family. My life is infinitely richer without the alcohol. And I'm learning to be more comfortable with myself. There are still vestiges of the old alcoholic behavior, especially when it comes to isolating, but I really do feel like I'm growing and learning every day.
Downsides? The baclofen exacerbates symptoms of what I have come to recognize as definite OCD symptoms. I chew my nails horribly and haven't been able to stop smoking, and I also find myself having obsessive, recurring thoughts. Mind you, these are not anxiety-related; my chronic anxiety was completely obliterated by the baclofen. No, I can see an increase in OCD-related activity shortly after taking bac and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. It's not severe enough to stop the bac, and I'll keep taking it, but in the meantime, I guess I have to make do with mangled-looking fingertips while I continue to work on quitting smoking.
Overall, I would say that bac is a miracle drug. I can't even begin to tell you how much better my life is. Obviously it's not perfect, but everyone who knows me has seen a drastic change. I know now that alcohol will never rule my life again. And the thought of living without it doesn't scare me, not at all. I hope that anyone reading this who is scared to try baclofen will give it a shot; it truly does change the way you look at alcohol. It took away my own alcoholism and I will never stop being grateful for that.
For those who don't remember me or have joined in the last few months, I began taking baclofen on December 15, 2010. I had a long history of severe alcohol abuse and had begun to believe that I'd never find my way out of it. I ran across something on the Web in late 2010 regarding baclofen and alcoholism. I googled baclofen and was absolutely dumbfounded by what I read - and determined to take it myself! I knew somehow, deep down, that baclofen would be my salvation.
I contacted Dr. L and spent the next two months going up to 190/day. I had been drinking four beers a night for a couple of weeks, but on Valentine's Day of last year I had a hard time choking down two of them. They tasted awful and I couldn't drink the last two. The next day I knew I had hit my switch; the two remaining beers sat in my fridge and I couldn't even look at them. It was truly a "switch"--it was as definitive as night and day.
Well, I did some things wrong after a while. I began going down in my dosage after a month or two, and around the same time tried to moderate my drinking. Those two decisions led to almost-disastrous consequences: I went from drinking once a week, to a couple of times a week, to drinking almost daily, then back to drinking daily for a while. I went back up to 140/day and have stayed there since. When I would try to drink at that level, I could get the beers down but they would produce no high whatsoever. I have finally decided that drinking isn't worth it and have determined that moderation has no place in my life. Total sobriety is my new plan. When I hit six months of total sobriety I might try to go back down to 80-100, but I'm in no rush at this point.
Early on after my switch, I found myself growing increasingly depressed. Every evening was a gaping hole that I used to fill with drinking, and it was incredibly difficult to find anything to do with my thoughts during that time. But over time I've found ways to fill my evenings. I've started doing going to Crossfit several days a week (it's brutal and addictive!), I go to obedience classes with my dogs, I decorate and paint my new (rented) house, I spend more time with friends and family. My life is infinitely richer without the alcohol. And I'm learning to be more comfortable with myself. There are still vestiges of the old alcoholic behavior, especially when it comes to isolating, but I really do feel like I'm growing and learning every day.
Downsides? The baclofen exacerbates symptoms of what I have come to recognize as definite OCD symptoms. I chew my nails horribly and haven't been able to stop smoking, and I also find myself having obsessive, recurring thoughts. Mind you, these are not anxiety-related; my chronic anxiety was completely obliterated by the baclofen. No, I can see an increase in OCD-related activity shortly after taking bac and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. It's not severe enough to stop the bac, and I'll keep taking it, but in the meantime, I guess I have to make do with mangled-looking fingertips while I continue to work on quitting smoking.
Overall, I would say that bac is a miracle drug. I can't even begin to tell you how much better my life is. Obviously it's not perfect, but everyone who knows me has seen a drastic change. I know now that alcohol will never rule my life again. And the thought of living without it doesn't scare me, not at all. I hope that anyone reading this who is scared to try baclofen will give it a shot; it truly does change the way you look at alcohol. It took away my own alcoholism and I will never stop being grateful for that.
And she looks amazing. 
)
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