I started bac on 2/18/2011 on 10mg. Due to SE?s (insomnia, dizziness, lethargy, short-term memory loss), I struggled to get up to 90mg (the highest dosage I could reach), but then stabilized at 75mg for the year that followed. During this time, I was so envious of others who hitting their switch at 200-300mg. I knew that would never happen for me at such a low dosage however, it was working for AL cravings and I needed that in order to save my life. I took it religiously, never missing a dose. Then, on 2/29/2012 (leap year), something changed. It wasn?t a beautiful awakening, I actually felt sick that day. And then the next day, my attitude toward AL and how I felt about it was ?different?, or I should say ?indifference?. I felt absolute indifference about the one thing I clung onto and couldn?t let go of every single day for over a decade. I subsequently did something that some will disapprove of: titrate down, completely off Bac, which took a few days but I felt like I needed absolute clarity. Since I did not have a need for AL at this point, I did not need Bac and if I was wrong, I knew exactly what to do.
About a week later, some friends dropped by and brought wine along with them. I told them I was on a cleanse, which did raise eyebrows but I happily opened and poured for them and poured myself ? of a glass which sat in front of me over the next couple hours as we socialized and they continued to drink. I never got through that ? glass. It didn?t taste any different than it ever had but it was just wine, no big deal. Then last week, I attended a big party where I would see friends I don?t see often. I knew everyone would be drinking heavily so for me, it was the ultimate test. In the five+ hours I was there, I had a martini and a few sips of another. This comes from a guy who consumed 1-1/2 bottles of wine or 5 double vodkas nightly - and that?s on a school night - for over 10 years. I had a great time at the party and even had a few glasses of straight cranberry juice while my friends were slamming shots. Other than those two occasions when I drank like a ?normal? person, (or less!) I am drinking lots of water and not missing or even thinking about AL at all. That said, I realize three weeks is not an eternity. I am the most skeptical person I know and if find myself in a place where I begin drinking or even craving AL, I will hop right Bac on (or is that ?on Bac? :H) right away. By the way, I suffer from social anxiety for which I am taking (and love) Relora. Other than that, just my blood pressure meds and that?s it.
In retrospect, Bac helped me to first moderate with AL which for me was never possible and then it entirely changed how I felt I about it. That is the best way I can describe my switch. Even when I remind myself of these one, two and three week landmarks, I realize the drive to drink is just not there. Bac is truly a miracle.
About a week later, some friends dropped by and brought wine along with them. I told them I was on a cleanse, which did raise eyebrows but I happily opened and poured for them and poured myself ? of a glass which sat in front of me over the next couple hours as we socialized and they continued to drink. I never got through that ? glass. It didn?t taste any different than it ever had but it was just wine, no big deal. Then last week, I attended a big party where I would see friends I don?t see often. I knew everyone would be drinking heavily so for me, it was the ultimate test. In the five+ hours I was there, I had a martini and a few sips of another. This comes from a guy who consumed 1-1/2 bottles of wine or 5 double vodkas nightly - and that?s on a school night - for over 10 years. I had a great time at the party and even had a few glasses of straight cranberry juice while my friends were slamming shots. Other than those two occasions when I drank like a ?normal? person, (or less!) I am drinking lots of water and not missing or even thinking about AL at all. That said, I realize three weeks is not an eternity. I am the most skeptical person I know and if find myself in a place where I begin drinking or even craving AL, I will hop right Bac on (or is that ?on Bac? :H) right away. By the way, I suffer from social anxiety for which I am taking (and love) Relora. Other than that, just my blood pressure meds and that?s it.
In retrospect, Bac helped me to first moderate with AL which for me was never possible and then it entirely changed how I felt I about it. That is the best way I can describe my switch. Even when I remind myself of these one, two and three week landmarks, I realize the drive to drink is just not there. Bac is truly a miracle.
But definitely with the party! 
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