Not sure what to do on Bac

[dreamcatcher999]

Hello all

I have been on Bac 120mgs for about 3 weeks now. My doc does not think I should go higher and I don't think I could tolerate it higher due to my other health issues....anyway, I have not hit my 'off' switch although I know beyond doubt that it helps me not think about alcohol or crave more if I do have a drink. I was hoping to become totally indifferent to it...

My drinking has been as a crutch rather than a physical dependence and I see that as soon as something goes wrong, I still feel the desire to have some wine although I do not drink to get drunk anymore.
I guess what I am asking is if anyone has any ideas. Should I stay at this level or titrate down or what?
I know everyone is different but it always helps to have other thoughts. My weight has gone right up on this and shows no sign of going down even although my diet is super healthy and alcohol is no longer a daily event.
I am also suffering from lots of numbness and tingling which has been exacerbated by the bac but due to a neuropathy existing in the first place.
I have been trying to be 'brave' and put up with the increased neurological symptoms in the hope of conquering the desire to drink....and then going right down....
It is hard to deal with and I don't think I could to be honest, if I was not so zonked out by the bac.::H

[windycitylady]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Dreamcatcher, I was almost exactly where you're at. Well, I made it up to 225 mg but was feeling the same way. I definitely hadn't hit my switch, but my cravings were drastically reduced. And I was still drinking the same amount every night. I was extremely depressed and furious with myself. Drinking daily if the cravings were unbearable would be understandable, but they weren't. I knew I was drinking out of habit or as a crutch. This really made me beat myself up. I felt worse about myself than when I was drinking higher amounts. But, like you, I didn't want to go any higher on the bac due to SEs.
I ended up titrating down on the bac (if you do so, do it SLOWLY! I almost had a nervous breakdown from the anxiety), and taking antabuse. The anti-craving effects of the bac were still there, and the antabuse eliminated the option of drinking. No more arguing in my head, will I drink, won't I drink.
I've been sober for, I think, around 50 days now. Not only is it the most AF time I've had in almost 10 years, it's also the easiest AF time I've ever had. I take 40 mg/ day of bac and half an antabuse every other day. I also take gabapentin and buspar for depression and anxiety.
Hopefully, if you went down some on the bac, your SEs would disapear. Did you have them at the lower doses? Gabapentin is also prescribed for neuropathic pain, by the way.
I hope this post is coherent. I was already exhausted after this weekend, and this is about 5 hours before I usually get up. I just wanted to pop on MWO and didn't intend on posting, but saw no one had gotten back to you. Just wanted to let you know what worked for me.
Best of luck to you and please let me know what you decide to do!

[spacebebe01]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Hi Dream, I have been reading round the threads about bac to try and get some info for myself, Im surprised no one else has got back to you on this, I was going to post but have no knowledge to pass on and decided to wait. Ive got no ideas for you as Im still not sure what Im doing myself and cant say I have an answer, although I agree with windy I just had around 6 months AF on antabuse and it was a pretty easy AF time.
Good luck, and keep posting whats happening for you

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Have you looked into gabapentin/neurontin? Not the supplement, the medication.

There are three choices, right? Go up, go down, stop taking it. You can't stay where you are if you can't function or are miserable. If you go up, you risk SEs. Not the same ones, mind you. They change. It could lead to weight loss, which many of us have experienced. It could lead to more weight gain. (I would also, were I in your shoes, find out what that's about. Hormones? Water retention? I am not suggesting it's not a SE related to bac. I would just want to make sure that it wasn't because the bac was exacerbating some other imbalance...That's just me, though.)

The fogginess? That came and went for me, based a lot on my drinking and sleeping patterns.

If you go down, go down uber-slowly. I cannot emphasize enough how important I think this is. It's a personal opinion, if you want, but it's a strongly held one. It may help you find a more comfortable balance, and even increased control of craving without SEs. More importantly, you'll be allowing your brain and body to adjust to the balance you've created.

Finally, though I know some (few) will disagree, I think the on/off switch is a misnomer. And it undermines the whole concept of what it is to be indifferent. I didn't quit drinking last February. I just stopped drinking against my will. And I stopped getting drunk, for the most part. (and when I did, usually the day before I started my period, hooooo-boy. The next day always sucks. I don't recommend it. anyway...)
The point, for me, and for many, is to stop having the sun rise and set based on booze. It doesn't just take the right amount of pills, it takes time.

A couple of last thoughts:
There are many ways to slay this beast. Baclofen is a powerful sword. But it can be used in conjunction with other things. That wouldn't have been my choice, and still wouldn't, but that doesn't mean the other choices are any less valid or legitimate.

Using other tools includes the stuff that we know helps us be content with life. There are a lot of people who get sober, sober-ish, or abstinent and are still miserable sots. We've all seen 'em. We all know 'em. CBT and meditation didn't do diddly to keep my disease from rampaging through my body and brain, but it sure helps me organize my thoughts/life to be content now.

The lengths to which we'll go is understandably, and rightfully, based on the depths of our disease. I could not be me. Period. Couldn't work at anything I felt was...truly a reflection of who I am. Couldn't eat, couldn't keep the kitchen clean, couldn't do anything that didn't begin and end with the my shameful secret. That made it pretty easy for me to think that anything was better...Even 4 months of sometimes hellish SEs. For me, and me alone, being willing (at the end) to give it all up--my job, my marriage, life as I knew it--brought it all back. But I hated my job and my marriage and who I was. If you're not there, then it doesn't make sense to go to those extremes. (maybe. :H I'll leave that to you to decide, though!)

Enough of a tome from me!
Hang in. Don't give up. You'll get where you want to be.
:l

[dreamcatcher999]

Not sure what to do on Bac

:l Thanks for your replies folks

I have since discovered that some folk on CPAP (as I am for my sleep apnoea) put on weight and so I do not know what the cause of my weight gain is as I started both around the same time but my weight is rising steadily. This is so friggin frustrating but I have no choice. I have to stick with it.
I do not want to take Gabapentin for the same reason, in fact, I am going to try to take myself off as many of my meds as I can (slowly of course) and just stick with the Cpap and the Bac to see what happens.
I have so many stressors at the moment (life's a bitch) and the sedative effect of the Bac is very welcome and the brain fog is maybe due to my other meds or made worse by the combination.
I will also ask my Doc is I can have my blood tested for insulin resistance as that can cause weight gain in cases like mine.
If I thought I could tolerate it I may want to go higher but I don't know if they would allow me to go higher and the weight gain is really troubling as it affects me in other ways.
Well, upwards and onwards and thanks again.:thanks:

[spacebebe01]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Just a thought but Im guessing you havent had blood tests done then if you are going to ask for one now. Can you get a full range of blood tests done? Thyroid is one that springs to mind but also there are others. I am not at all a medical person I just get my bloods done about every 6 - 9 months or so just to check things are ok

[dreamcatcher999]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Hi Space
Yes, I have had my thyroid tested before but I think it's time to have a real overhaul.
Stopping drinking is the most important thing we can do for our health and from that healthier vantage point, we can attack things like weight
It really was the one thing that I dreaded happening and so it did.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Not sure what to do on Bac

dreamcatcher999;1294765 wrote:
If I thought I could tolerate it I may want to go higher but I don't know if they would allow me to go higher and the weight gain is really troubling as it affects me in other ways.
Well, upwards and onwards and thanks again.:thanks:
There are some physical things that inhibit the whole thing--life! And I'd agree that those have to be dealt with first.
It sounds as though you have all the ducks in a row (so to speak) and you're just lining 'em up and knocking 'em down. (I might try to see how many cliches I can fit in here. hope you don't mind. )
I guess what I'm trying to say is: Just don't stop, Dream. You've got this. And life will, it absolutely will, stop being such a bitch.

dreamcatcher999;1295629 wrote:
It really was the one thing that I dreaded happening and so it did.

I hesitate to say this, but that was true for me, too. The things I was most scared of happened. And you know what? pfffffft. Whatever.

Now I'm scared that I'm going to end up like that chick who wrote the book...You know the one? Drinking: A Love Story was the title, I think. She got sober, fell in love with life again, and dropped dead of lung cancer at 42. That would suck, wouldn't it? I really, really need to stop smoking. oy.

Sorry for the downer! On a happier note...hmmm. What? I am too late to segue into something new. Someone else'll come along and do it, I'm sure.
Hope it's a good day!

[spacebebe01]

Not sure what to do on Bac

I have stopped craving chocolate and sugar lately, I am taking bac40mg and gabapentin 400mg a day split into 4 doses. I struggle with my weight and it is now highest ever. Your totally right about dealing with alcohol first, thats the biggest thing we can do and then hopefully that should allow us to sort the weight issues.

[spacebebe01]

Not sure what to do on Bac

cross posted ne

I didnt know she was dead, mind you I bought the book, started reading it and lost interest in it, cant remember why, either I didnt like the book or it was one too many recovery life story books for me.

xxx

[suneelca]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Dream -- what other meds are you taking?

I agree with Ne that I don't think there's an on / off switch. I was at 120mg for about a month before I started having AF nights. Now I have, as Ne says, and said to me about me, stopped drinking against my will. It might just be a matter of time before it catches up with you (in a good way).

Neuropathy sucks. Sorry to hear about that. Ne -- I was taking Gabapentin to reduce drinking. It had no effect on my lower back pain / sciatica, although that might have been an effect. Oddly, one of the positive side effects of Bac is that that pain is gone, after six years. It's a bloody miracle!

[dreamcatcher999]

Not sure what to do on Bac

Hi Sun

That's good to know. I am going to stay on this dose for another week or so and then start titrating down. I had a bottle of wine the other night after a very stressful day and found that I did not really want it although I forced it down :H
but I am learning so much about the diferent ways I talked myself into thinking I needed a drink to unwind. Bac has taken away any actual pleasure aspect and so all I am left with is a residual habit that will be broken in time as my brain gets rewired. It's such a relief to know I will stay in control now and be able to drink if I am out but know I would not want to over-indulge as there quite simply is no pleasure in it.

Of course a part of me wishes there was.....but we all know where that led :H

I am on an anti depressant Escitalaprin which I am going to come off as I feel I can mange without it. Then Oxcarbazepine for my neuropthy which makes me in a mental fog all the time. Plus 3 different meds for high blood pressure...
I really believe we are taking responsibility for our own health from reading the posts here. I do not trust Big Pharma but if I am going to take meds I want to be fully involved in the process. Some of what I am on I have since found can actually cause neuropathy! so.........time to take the bull by the horns instead of just being a complacent zombie :H