Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

[COSGringo]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

No sure why but link is not posting, let's try again-

Stunning images reveal warlike damage in Colorado Springs : News : ColoradoConnection.com

"http://www.coloradoconnection.com/news/story.aspx?id=770466#.T-zA0LWe7ni"

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

COS,

So great to hear from you. Glad you're safe. Looks crazy out there.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Wow COS! That's incredible! And frightening!

How was the night LA?

[COSGringo]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Thanks all!

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

So glad I played hooky yesterday morning, and still had a chance to teach the children in the afternoon. I didn't even think about it yesterday, but I completely agree that politics ist verboten here on MWO. Though, and I don't have a choice about this, unfortunately, in my class all of the papers are going to be about public policy.

You can thus understand my surprise when I started off the class by saying, "fuckin'-A right, how 'bout that Supreme Court?" And the collective response of the 17 bright-eyed college sophomores and juniors was, "Yeah, what happened?"

I managed to get through the 2 hours of class, fairly certain I'm in alcohol withdrawal, got the same head-feeling that I had the last time my B/P was really high, but I'm not going to stroke out or anything, and in-hospital isn't a withdrawal option anyway, 'cause I don't have seizures. Hell, not even shaky anymore. Disconcerting nonetheless. So I chilled out and went home.

Where my xbox decided to start not working--but in an infuriating way, like it would start playing, and just when I'd get into this game I'm trying to get through in my hockey season, it would freeze. I tried like a dozen times. I don't even play that much xbox these days, I just really felt like it last night. So this must be my AA Higher Power's way of telling me to do something productive, or telling me to just get really, really pissed off.

Today I have to meet these little bastards for one-on-one conferences all day, and some random other work that I need to attend to, but more than anything trying to relax.

I got some decent sleep, only woke up once I think. And yesterday was a legit AF day.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

And completely forgot the stats:

Dropped down to 175. Going to see how this works, and going to try to stop the day-by-day freaking out, and just hold tight for a few days to see what's what.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Woop!

nice.

You were one of those kids. (about a minute ago. )

My grandma was the one that told me about what happened at the court. I thought she'd missed the what actually happened. At 85 she's allowed to miss one every now and then, you know? Turns out CNN and Fox news misreported the verdict for the first ten minutes or so. (I heard this second hand, so I don't actually know.) funny, though.

I'm now at my parent's weekend place and surprised I've been able to stay online this long! My dad is torturing me by insisting on Spartacus on the telly. hayzeus. Do people really watch this? EDIT: we just watched the new Sorkin show--Newsroom, I think? If tv were actually that good, I'd watch it. We may have to get HBO in the new house (living large, I know!) and have a tv night again. I think the last time we stopped the world to watch a show was West Wing, though we do try and catch Modern Family.

It's a good thing to decide not to freak out, 'cause there is a little bit of decision about it some times. But don't beat yourself up about it. Or anything else. This is a time, really and truly, to be gentle and kind to yourself. That's not hoodoo-hippy-chick stuff. That's truth.

And super congrats on the AF day, and the continued struggle. Rock on, brother. See you on the flip side, if I can still log on.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

So last night I'm sitting in my room, about to put my head through the bloody TV after the xbox freezes for like the 8th time, when I realize I want to put all the food in my mouth because I'm not drinking. This leads me naturally to the kitchen, where there is absolutely no F--ing food, except for the 50 cans of sardines that I inexplicably ordered from Amazon in the midst of my last all-out bender.

There I am, standing over the sink in my PJs, forking sardines out of the can, and I'm just generally pissed off because, well, clearly because I'm eating a sardine and I shouldn't drink and can't drive--which feels wickedly unfair, since you ought to be able to do one or the other. All in all, a great lead-in to today.

What better way to unwind than a trip to the gym? Where I learn I've put on 10 lbs, which officially constitutes "too many." And I smoke definitely too many cigarettes to exercise hard enough to do much of anything. So I sit on the stationary bike, sweating profusely, looking at the little TV screen that is, apparently, broken because all I see on it is a good 15 years of relatively stable self-image melting away.


/end pitty party :balloon:

In sum: crawling outta this dark hole, but man it's bright out here. And I f--cking hate counting days. This is #2.

[spacebebe01]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

When did I miss that!! you have gone AF, well done on making that decision, it doesnt seem to be making your mood better yet but it will do soon.

Why are you working all summer and weekends, thats too much no wonder your frazzeled. Be nice to the kids tho its not their fault

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Morning.

I'll be back when I stop smirking.

glad you had another night.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Space: you didn't miss anything. And I didn't really "decide" to go AF. I just sort of had to pick one extreme or the other to get through the next month and a half. And I'm going to my doc on Monday, to see if this cough and general breathing crap is something serious, and I'd kind of like to have the majority of the withdrawals over with so she doesn't put me back on B/P meds. But who knows, maybe that's in the cards regardless.

175 mg of bac a day makes it pretty darned easy to say no to the drink. There's still beer in the fridge, and the Royal Liquor sign, bright as the sun, shining through my living room window until 2 AM every night. And, of course, the bar, where I'm sure I'll be later today, trying to lure the bartender away from her boyfriend. But it's still very much can't drink, rather than not interested in drinking.

Regardless, I'm simply tired. Tired of not sleeping, tired of the goddamned night terrors, tired of being overweight.

So here's to getting me the f--k out of my apartment, and no, I don't know why I'm suddenly bleeping-out profanity, maybe because I feel like using a whole lot of it. And here's to the gym. And here's to reading way back through Murphyx's thread, and seeing one little aside about cutting back on smoking by switching to snus.

Which led down one of the web's rabbit holes, where I learned "snus" is like chewing tobacco, but in little pouches and apparently doesn't cause the salivating/spitting/disgustingness. And I guess the Swedes have great success cutting back on or even quitting cigarettes. So I was really interested in this because they're starting to be hardcore marketed here in the states.

Further down the rabbit hole, though, I found the key difference: Swedish snus has a fair amount of nicotine and lasts about twice as long as the US snus being pushed here. A recent article found that, lo and behold, my ((cough)) beloved R.J. Reynold's and others are basically trying to "vaccinate" the market. By getting people to try snus, and seeing that it doesn't work for quitting, or even cutting back, people will think it's all just hype. So I ordered a bunch of the Swedish stuff online and we'll see.

Because my smoking doubled when I quit drinking. That's what people do in AA, they drink gallons of coffee and smoke like 3 cigarettes at the same time, so I figured that must work. :H But now I just can't seem to cut back.

Long and rambling again! Whatevs, I'm certain there'll be more later on in the nighttime.

[spacebebe01]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Im with you on the smoking Stuck, I shop for myself and my 23 year old son, yesterday I got us both 20 cigs and some tobacco, today I had finished my cigs and he has around 12 left, also Im out of tobacco, I do remember hearing about snus but never trying it so if you do let me know, we could try it together.

[RedThread12]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

StuckinLA;1343443 wrote: This leads me naturally to the kitchen, where there is absolutely no F--ing food, except for the 50 cans of sardines that I inexplicably ordered from Amazon in the midst of my last all-out bender.

:H:H:H

I still have a case of Williams-Sonoma broth bases - beef, chicken and veggie - in my basement. It was greatly discounted! And waaayyy too many pairs of shoes that I drunk-ordered from Ebay. No sardines, but then again, who knows where I might have gone had I not found baclofen . . .

We UNDERSTAND, really we do! All of the SE's you describe suck. And given that, I really appreciate your humorous edge. Keep it honed. It will help A LOT. The first (and one of the few, now that I review my 4 years here at MWO) thread that I posted was "Humorous Side Effects of Baclofen." I think I got one response. From someone not taking baclofen. Took Nev and Murph and some later envelop-pushers to push THAT door open. But when it did, things got priceless.

I especially remember reading . . . I think it was LadyLush's thread, where she was describing the newness of sex without alcohol. I think her comment was, "always before when I've had sex, it was lubed with alcohol." Murph (aahhh, Murph, we miss 'ya!) popped in with the next post, "Ouch. Didn't that sting?" :H:H:H (or maybe you had to be there?)

Anyway, Stuck, you are one your way. Great posts. I REALLY like it, and appreciate very much, that you are actually reading back and going down rabbit-holes. IMO it takes quite a bit of that to have enough information and understanding to make baclofen work for you. Somewhere you'll find Ne's original post of what became for a while, and should become again, the baclofentist mantra: "JKTTDP." Just. Keep. Taking. The. Damn. Pills. If you read back enough, you'll see how well that has worked, even for members "in extremis," in various ways.

Your way out will be uniquely yours, and there's lots of support present, and tons of valuable information here. All the best. Onward!!!

[RedThread12]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Ne/Neva Eva;1341766 wrote: You slept?

:H :H :H Perfect use of irony!

Glad to hear from you, COS. We're all thinking of you, and of all of Colorado.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

just checkin' in.
snus...hmmmm. Apparently you didn't get to the fork in the trail where Murphy admitted he was shilling for the stuff, and getting a percentage?
If it works for you, I'll send you what I ordered. I spent a fortune on swedish snus too. Even told my grandmother I'd give her some so she could quit too. Seriously.

And I quit without AA and still started smoking at 2 packs a day--so you can't blame 'em for that. Oh. And um, remember the suggestion that one should be gentle with oneself? Perhaps looking in the mirror and seeing how refreshingly unsplotchy your skin is, how your eyes are not quite as bleary...though they're squinting through some dark glasses.

We had a derecho here last night. Scary! Yowza! I was very brave. (see that's how you do it!)