Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

[Colin]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

StuckinLA;1518121 wrote: So while it's worked for others, I'm just not sure that going back on bac is really the answer for me. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

I agree with your self evaluation but as you noted baclofen could still be useful as a temporary fix to get you sober - it has already worked twice. Perhaps arbaclofen or ADX71441 or ....

In my case I see baclofen as a long term solution to my alcoholism and in this role I need baclofen in the same way that a cripple needs his crutch. Without our crutches it won't be long before we both fall down.

[redhead77]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Hi Stuck!

Congrats on your 30 days! What a wonderful accomplishment. I'm not sure where you think you should be right now, but it seems to me you're doing and thinking about what many might at this early stage. You're getting plans for your future. Your license, maybe joining a hockey league when you do. You've started running. Good stuff. I haven't done 30 days, but reading about your plans, and the fact that you're growing and moving along makes me happy. It's an inspiration.

I'm not sure about the dopamine thing. Don't get me wrong, you could certainly have a lack of dopamine (that seems to be one of my problem neurotransmitters too). I don't believe there's an accurate blood test to measure the level in our brains though. I don't think there's tests for any of the neurotransmitters (easy blood tests I mean). That's why docs prescribe antidepressants blindly. When I've needed an antidepressant, I've always responded favorably to bupropion, which leads me to believe I might have an underlying dopamine issue. I believe it targets dopamine more than others. If there is an accurate blood test then I need it too!

I do hope you start finding the joy in life you deserve. :l I agree with Mary, I have read it takes a while for neurotransmitters to bounce back. And I think some of us have imbalances to begin with that contribute to our drinking. I don't think every alcoholic is cookie cutter the same.

I'm rooting for ya!

[redhead77]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Are you gearing up for the game tonight? I know we are!

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

redhead77;1518952 wrote: Are you gearing up for the game tonight? I know we are!

Already at the bar!

[MaryGoRound]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

StuckinLA;1518121 wrote:

My mom got sober without treatment, AA, drugs, or anything else. I'm not taking credit for it, I just happen to be sober right now.

My dad did the same. He just stopped. No AA. The way he tells me 38 years later is the following simple story. One night while on a business trip he thought he was having a heart attack and went to the ER. It was a wake up call. He decided he did not want to die.

When I asked him why and how he did it he really can't explain it. I was a young kid so I have no real perspective on what it must have been like for him at the time.

When it was "outed"" that I was an alcoholic I had a talk with my dad. He is definitely NOT a touchy feely guy but he did his best to help. His only advice was to me was "not even one! Not one."

Obviously he had no medical help so the idea of medical intervention was not an option.

When I asked him..."do you miss it...even a bit?" His answer was absolutely not! Yes, he Loved being a drunk...he has great stories, but no way would he have wanted to continue given the path he was on.

He is 82. He has not had a drink in 38 years and I believe him 100%.

Finally...go Blackhawks!! As a Chicago resident I have to cheer and my 14 year old kid is thrilled!

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Yo.

Been absentee for a bit, I know. Ya'll can probably guess why: 'cause I hate everything right now. LOL. Not entirely, but mostly. Anyway, still doing the same damned thing. Working on this article that's going nowhere, been working on it over a month, and trying to convince myself that just because it's not getting done doesn't mean I'm not working... if that makes sense. And seeing whiskey-girl post pictures on Facebook of her and her new dude. Christ, even the chicks I can't stand and don't want are hooking up and happy with new people. WTF.

The bartender and I have been chatting off and on, every so often when I'm down there and she's not busy... and when I'm not watching hockey--she won't even try interrupting when I'm watching hockey, it's kinda cute. She gives me free juice now, instead of having to pay $3/glass for it, which is nice. And the other night she gave me a pastrami sandwich, that I guess her BF dropped off for her earlier in the day... that was bizarre... but I guess he brought her like 2 meals and she was giving them away. Then we talked about her birthday, which is coming up, and about a couple of times recently that she'd been out drinking. Fun stories, fun times. Then I bought her a little birthday present today--a keychain with a Hello Kitty doll wearing a cheerleading outfit from my school's gift shop (she loves Hello Kitty).

So yeah...

Jogging four times a week, and god damn do I hate jogging. But it's coming back and getting better, even with the f**king hills around here. And having my favorite part of the day now, after just getting back, which is a strawberry mango vanilla protein shake, and smoking cigarettes. Ahhhhh. Bliss.

Whatever. After 17 years sober my mom started drinking wine again. And she seems OK with it, not flying off the rails or anything like that, and not drinking every evening or anything, so I suppose it's cool. And that's it here these days. :l

[spacebebe01]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

I havent been around much myself stuck, my laptop os playing up but im glad your still doing well. Just something ive noticed lately is this whole getting away from drinking, or drinkg heavily/getting drunk whatever we are trying to do is that changing lifestyles, mindset and all the stuff that goes with it does take time and it doesnt matter what we fill that time up with i dont think, after years of thinking i had to do the right thing, whatever that was, eat right, excercise, meditate work all kinds of stuff because if i didnt i would go backwards well i dont think its all together true anymore, i mean i want to get healthier and do something with my life but it doesnt all have to happen now, things start changing anyway once the getting pissed is out of the way so why worry about it. i think the sort way of what im trying to say is dont stress about trying to make your day too constructive and fit too much into it, just take it easy and it will be easier.

loads of love anyway as always
space x

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Bitches b crazy.

So whiskey-girl went and got herself a BF, from what I could tell on the book with the faces and that other picture-phone-thing, Instagram, and I hadn't heard from her since like just after I stopped drinking. Then yesterday or the day before or whatever, she sends me this pretty casual text, something like "hey, do you think we could be actual friends without screwing, 'cause I miss talking to you about books and whatnot." Innocent enough, right? So I said sure, I don't see why not. Well little did I know this was a mafioso-style loyalty test, and a couple hours later I get this angry "seriously?" And she's like "I only want people in my life who want me there," etc, "best of luck with everything." And an hour after that there's more: "I'm done. Not mad or sad or anything, but done. Take care" or whatever. Which is totally fine--don't get me wrong--but I'm thinking What The Hell? She's f**king insane. And if she's not mad or hurt or anything about being "done," then she clearly doesn't care, either, right, and so why in Allah's name would she give a sh*t about me being all invested in some kind of friendship that's never existed in the first place? Lord, good riddance to that one... And yes, even back at the time I knew I probably wasn't ever getting a 3way with her drunk ass anyway. C'est la vie.

And the grad-student chick. Ugh. Haven't heard from her for a long time, either, since I mentioned I was getting this summer job and she got all pissed. She's got this self-esteem problem, and worried that she doesn't stand out in the department, and so this summer academy for underprivileged high school kids is really her deal--she's all about it and thinks it's something that sets her apart from everybody else. And she's right, it does I guess. But that's not my problem--I need money so when I was offered a job last minute I took it, and she's acting like I'm purposefully stepping on her toes or invading her space or whatever. Well, now that the schedule's out, and since she was there last year she's the "Head TA," well now I start getting FB messages from her again, and she's all happy now that she's my "boss," and now that we're getting way closer to actually starting this crap she's sending out emails and generally being way too excited. To the point where she's leaving comments on Instagram to get my attention, to get me to respond to these pointless emails. It's like she's suddenly tried to take over all of my social media until I have nothing left except this dumbass summer academy job. And she's so damned patronizing all of a sudden. So let's say maybe I blocked her on Instagram. This, this is going to be an interesting 7 weeks.

Guess that's about it. One girl gone hopefully for good this time. And another one that I have to deal with professionally but otherwise can go f**k herself.

And this little rant is about all the MWO energy I can muster. Hope everybody's well. Keep on keeping on, take the pills, bac works, etc.

[Colin]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Enough of these misogynistic rants. Just have a good night's sleep and you'll feel much better in the morning.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

There's plenty on MWO to read. If you don't like what's on this thread you're welcome to spend your time elsewhere.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

That's kind of funny about whiskey girl. I mean, isn't it? If it's not, then I take it back. I won't say anything like, "It will get better" either 'cause that would just be annoying.

I'll give you that the chick with the job also sounds very annoying.

But what I really want to ask you is what the hell is instagram? I don't get it. There's a (yooooung) woman that posts all these instagram pix on FB that are not her, that have nothing to do with her (as far as I can tell) and just seem like random pix. What gives? Teach me?

[Colin]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

By the time you read this I hope you have had a good sleep and time to consider your transgressions. I want you to apologise to those nice girls for having such hateful thoughts about them.

If this ever happens again I will report you to Nursie, Auntie Ne and perhaps even to the headmaster, Dr. Bleep.

Now, let's get on with being a good boy.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Go home, Colin, you're drunk.

[Colin]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

That post was far too obscure for general consumption. It requires knowledge of the English public school system amongst other things.

Too make things even more complicated an English public school charges fees.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Well, the summer job started today dealing with the high school children. So there's plenty of reading and grading and planning and actually dealing with these bright, ambitious, energetic, excited little brats already.

Hockey team won the championship--great--and so I had the chance to turn down several, insistent offers of shots, of "whatever I wanted." That was... not easy.

Got home and opened the mail--a large envelope from the Sec. of State awaited me. Put all my things away, paced around for a few moments, lit a smoke. Not sure what was really going on mental-state-wise, and at one point asked myself if I thought I was going to drink or something if it was bad news. Took a drag of the cigarette, thought no, that wasn't it. Opened the envelope.

Good news: my driver's license has been cleared, and I can now (with only one more small delay) go and take the driving test and all that and get a new license here, just like nothing ever happened. And for some reason that really made me want to have a drink. Probably the combination of things--first day of work, turning down drinks, wanting to celebrate now a couple of different pretty big deals. Kinda took the wind out of me for a second.

Anyway, thought I'd share. Now back to grading homework before getting up and doing it all over again tomorrow. Oh, and slept pretty well last night, but went to bed at 10, so woke up at like 6 this morning. Way too early for me; threw my whole day off.

:l

[EDIT: Grad student girl's still out of her damned mind.]