Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

[Sticky]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Hi guys

It's so good to hear from you all. Thanks!! Life is still a struggle with SE's and with ongoing "Sue" issues. (My friend/ ex sponsor who committed suicide 4 weeks ago, which was only discovered 3 weeks ago.) Also hubby and I always try to do too much. We have 2 businesses and 2 kids, 10 and 13 and at our age (56 for him and 51 for me) should be slowing down, but instead we are always winding up!! Taw - I am not windng down with bac but winding up. Just gone up to 130 and so wishing I was like Mr A in Amiesen's book, but I'm not..
Struggling with SE's but will perservere. If this doesn't work the only hope is back to AA until there is something else on the web to try. I have been trying alternative methods for nearly 2 years (TSM and baclofen) I will not give up looking for alternatives despite the disapproval. It gets very depressing hanging around the "winners" in AA and feeling like a loser.

Take care
Sticky

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Well if I'd known that's all it takes to draw you out, NE, I'd've started complaining a long time ago! :H

Yeah, I know this is all because I'm a little more clearheaded, and so looking at all this stuff I need to do, and not wanting to face it. But it is funny, though. How today I'm bac down to 150 and not sleepy. Not feeling anxious. And at the same time I can clearly imagine grabbing a bottle of whiskey in a way I couldn't a few days or a week ago.

Or more specifically, I don't want to have a drink because I'm pretty sure I'd want many more. Not that not having a drink in the first place is a problem...

So this is what everyone talks about when they talk about tweaking, huh? Yeah, but I don't want to stay this high. Grrrrrr.

I want to crawl back in my hole. Oh hell, I don't even feel like going down to the bar. Maybe I'll just play more xbox. When what I should do is laundry, and maybe read for a while in the bath. That's always nice.

Anyway, kids, keep on keepin' on. Y'all know it's still worth it... even if it's annoying.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

150 is clearly not enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCk-f03o6aA[/video]]Tom Waits - The long way home - YouTube

[LadyLush]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

I guess I will play you X-box on line :-).
I am lost at 120 with Bac; but I know this is my switch; it's all I need.
Gone up, gone down and here again. I can not stand the somnolence, my only complaint.
lots of love my friend!


LL

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

StuckinLA;1378390 wrote: 150 is clearly not enough.

Ruh Roh.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Reggie;1378443 wrote: I mean to say its just gives space..to reconsider the WHY !!!

I think the WHY is what's doing me in, a little. Or not quite all of it. Either way, thank you for stopping by Reg. Your posts mean a lot to me when I can catch them :H You rock, my friend.

[ifulovelife2]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Yeah "why?", good question. Oh and here's another question: if in AE you place the full stop (period) outside of the quotation marks, do you do the same for question marks? If not, why not and one last point: I don't actually care, so there!:H

150 is too low huh? You're starting to think chugging the whisky (or I rather hope it's 'whiskey') would be a good idea, huh? Well, some people think it's fine to just drop down really quickly once you've 'switched' but it seldom works out that way. I'm sorry old boy but you need to let this new thing bed in. Basically you need to spend, oh, I don't know, maybe 10 years working out what the feck sobriety is meant to feel like, how you're meant to deal with it (M n Ms seem relevant some how) and then THEN you get to ponder just what the fuck is the point of it after all. Once you've worked it out, do make sure you let me know. Ta!

[Bruunhilde]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

"What?"!!!!

[GingerDust]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Crap! wrote a really long response, lost it. I'm sorry to invade your thread, StuckinLA, but I saw Bruun! You can't hold it against me.

Stuck, there was a guy who struggled mightily with SEs, for many months, really suffered - to the point that I pretty much wrote him off. I read today that he's flourishing on 60 mg of baclofen (down from somewhere in the 300s), but it took many, many, many months. Not everyone gets that, but you might be one that does, so hang in there. Even if you don't spend your life genuflecting to the mythical "switch," you are likely to find that baclofen is an awesome sobriety tool. There are lots of tools. Just don't expect a wrench to do the job of a hammer, you know? Sobriety is not a product of one-stop-shopping. Keep your options open. Blend, blend, blend all the options for sobriety that you can find - and you will figure out what works for you. And hang tough. It sounds like you already know how to do that last part anyway.

Also, I really, really, really, really, really, really wanted to comment on your comment to remember 9/11. I think there is very good reason not to, but I'm not going to discuss that here. If you want to talk about it privately, PM me.

Bruun, HI! Much more to say, but I already lost one post and am kinda outta time on the rest of what you wrote on this thread, and other threads. I quick glance on other threads tells me that's there is lots to respond to, more than I can at this moment because . . . cooking and serving a to-die-for-dinner to my husband is more important to me. I swear to God I am not Mormon, or of any kind of belief system that dictates that women cater to men. I really like cooking. He really likes eating. Good God, I think we might be Jack Sprat and his wife!

I guess I'm done doing a hard life, you know? I'd just prefer not to, and that choice is actually mine since I live inside my head more than I do in the world that media makes. I don't think it's a bad thing. Part of me thinks its wussy. But part of me knows that anyone who calls "wussy"is a wuss extraordinaire (Romney, Palin, etc).

Anyway, Bruun, hang in there. I don't know if it is helpful, but the guy who prescribes my MJ is also open to prescribing opiates for pain. I found a forum for people with the kind of spinal problems that you and I have (loss of height here too). Apparently docs have an aversion to prescribing opiates long-term (because there is so much abuse of them). The tales of horror (my pain is nothing compared to some), the pain that people have to live through for as long as they care to live - is exacerbated by people who abuse opiates - or so say the doctors who are terrified of prescribing opiates to anyone not on their death bed. What the fuck? You know, in our justice system, it is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. If you have a long-term, inevitably painful condition, your chances for getting a prescription for long-term adequate pain relief are pretty much nil. Until you find an "out of the box" thinker doc.

I know full well that I will be there (at the complete mercy of pain) eventually. I already have my doc, for when the time comes. The same doc who prescribes my MJ has many ideas about how fear of addiction (which he sees as society seeing sin where there is no harm) actually feeds the conditions that make it very difficult to get responsible treatment. He is not adverse to prescribing opiates (including MS Contin) to people who live in hell. I don't take opiates, but I am sure, given my degrading condition, that at some point I'll open up to opiates, you know? It's nice to know that my "crazy" doc is out there for me if I need him.

Bruun, if you want a doc who is "crazy" (read: "brave and caring.") you might look as those who willingly prescribe MJ.

Anyway, I want to respond to everyone, and will respond on the AB/Nal thread, but must go now. My self-imposed limits for online time for the week is blown, but tomorrow is another day (and the beginning of another week).

You know, most people who post here are good people, I think. The greatest evil they could do is to give up hope. Maybe giving up hope would be humanity's greatest evil, and it would have nothing to do with alcoholism or baclofen or . . . If there is one single element that has led to the great evil of giving up hope, it is greed.

Greed poisons everything. It doesn't matter if it's costumed as a street-walker, a savior or slave driver. Greed poisons everything from baclofen as treatment for alcoholism to feeding the poor.

I wish all the greedy people would go away, from the meds forum, from the presidential race, from the face of the planet. I just wish they would all go away from MWO (and people here know who you are. And, anyone who has watched the meds forum for any length of time at all knows who the greed-mongers are too, because they come across as evangelicals).


Anyway, hang in Stuck, hiya Bruun, I'll try to make it back to the AB/Nal thread tomorrow.

[Piratecat]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Can somebody help me?

Please.

[sunshinedaisies]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

What do you need?

[Warnie]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

struth. thinkin of trying baclofen. is it expensive?

[spacebebe01]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Hi Stuck :l

pirate if your still out there post again

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

What's up, everybody? Sorry I've been gone for like ever... Still trying to read around and keep up with what's going on, but I've been way to busy to post. [EDIT: that's too busy. Wow I'm sleepy.] More to the point, not much of anything to post about.

Dropped my dose a bit, trying to work out the sleepiness, so right about 175. Did have a few drinks the other night and got a little concerned. But there's nothing to worry about after all, as I'm still indifferent. I think that's what we often forget: fix the brain chemistry and suddenly it's like being a normal person, but look around and see how many normal people have 1 too many every once in a while. Now imagine how tough it is for us, when it's such a huge habit. Yeah, watching a little TV like I used to, opened a beer like I always did, and before you know it I'd had several beers. Lesson learned.

And yesterday managed to stay awake for that entire class. That's the big news, I guess. I'd told myself I'd stop going if I couldn't stay awake yesterday, because it's really rude to sit in a class that I'm not even taking for credit and fall asleep. Got pretty zoned out toward the last 20 minutes or so, but it wasn't noticeable. So I'm going to keep going, which is awesome because it's a great class.

Anyway, that's really it. Once you stop drinking all the interesting stuff kinda goes away, right? Now I'm just doing work stuff, laundry, cleaning my apartment. Don't even have any good bartender stories because I don't really care about going to the bar. Maybe I'll work on that soon, but really I don't have much time.

So, just checking in quick to give some hope for the peeps still struggling out there with bac. Stick with it, it works and it's worth it. But, as is already pretty obvious, I'm not around everyday because there's so much other stuff I have to do here in the real world.

Pirate, if you're still there how about posting again? What can we help you with? Clearly there're plenty of people on this thread that can help.

Space, love, how the heck are ya'? :l

Hi Bruun! Been a while, how are you doing sweetie?

IFul: you're goddamned right it's whiskey.

Oh and there was something else I wanted to respond to, but I see now that it's gone. That's really funny because it was about never forgetting, but it's probably for the best. So way to go with the deleting. (Nope, not you this time, Reg! :H)

Thinking about you all, and hope it's going really really well. Have a good one everyone.

:l

[spacebebe01]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Im ok today thanks Stuck, so hows indiference going for you, how does it feel? it must be odd to change so much so quickly, Im happy for you to have done it, I think its pretty amazing.

xx