What in the holy F are you all talking about with this 6 hour CPR class!? It wasn't that long ago I was an instructor, and I can tell you the class is like 30 seconds. Shake the person and shout: "Are you OK!?" Then since they're dead and obviously not OK, you pinch the nose, have some dumbass bystander blow into the mouth 'cause there's no way in sam-hell you should be anywhere near a dead person's mouth, and start punching them repeatedly in the sternum, kind of like you see on that wrestling show on Monday nights. Oh, and I think you're supposed to count while you punch them, but I forget why because they're dead and it therefore really doesn't make a difference. And that's it, simple as that, class dismissed.
Oh well, there was more I wanted to say tonight, but I lost it. Congrats again, Ne, and good night everyone!
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