Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

You know what I keep wondering? Why is it good enough? The woman. The bar. The lie of Hemingway vs. Whitman.

And in what ways am I also Stuck? What lies am I clutching so closely I can't even see them, much less live without them???

xo

[playland]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Joanna, hi, wondering what is your thread, I'd like to listen to the meditations you talked about, Thanks.

Hi Stuck and everyone here, just saying hi, still a big fan of Stuck, LOL.

Play

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Hi Space, Bruun, Jo, Play, Ne! The Xbox is good. I'm about to get serious about this college football game, because I need to get obsessed with something that isn't at the bar. And I went and drank way too much this week and am not very happy about it. Considering starting to count days, or perhaps go bac up, though being pain-free is pretty nice.

But I went and professed my crush on the bartender last night, if that gives an indication of how messed up I was. I met a friend at the bar in the late afternoon, and we were sitting down at the end of the bar with this new girl serving us. By about 7 my friend was cut off, but that happens a lot to him because he has a brain-injury related speech impediment, so he sounds a lot drunker than he is, though he was pretty wasted. Well anyway so when he left I went and sat by the bartender, at which point I'm fairly certain I proposed to her, and remarkably she I guess had no idea I have a crush on her.

Basically, to my mind, this is kinda last-straw-ish, drinking wise, as I'm now so utterly embarrassed and out of sorts in the I can't believe I did that way. [EDIT: not even I can take the last staw comment seriously. But hey, I am going to try to clean up my act for a little while.] So I'm now on my way to a meeting at school, then working my online job, then going for a tonic water at the bar where I will apologize, then home. Where I will play Xbox or sit in my new IKEA chair, which I put together this morning. Either way, the idea is to try to have a quiet evening, not freak out, and hopefully even get some sleep before my exam tomorrow.

And that, friends, is my update for the day. Egads, I'm kind of a moron.

:l:l:l

[TexasAg]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Stuck, my friend, I'm feeling like crap and you brought a smile to my face.

Thanks!

I'm not laughing at you but thinking of you as a green-card husband is kinda funny.

[joanna_d]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Stuck, what is HDB?

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

HDB = High-Dose Baclofen. Specifically when taking bac for alcoholism. As for what constitutes "high" dose, who knows...

[redhead77]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Hi Stuck and everyone :l,

We just finished putting up our Christmas tree, and I'm getting ready to finish decorating and then cleaning up.

But, I just wanted to mention that technically HDB would probably be considered anything over 80 mg a day. The FDA states 80 mg of baclofen a day is safe, and when getting above that is when we say HDB. But one person's HDB may not be another's (on MWO). As I believe you were saying Stuck.

[Bruunhilde]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

HDB means Hilarious Douche Baggy which Stuck pretends to act out in life. Actually we all mostly manage to HDB it alot but no one wants to talk about it except Stuck.

JK Stuck. Been there and dunnit. WTH.
Maybe something great will come of it. Maybe if you propose while sober, she will be thrilled. Really!!!!:h

[joanna_d]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

:H Bruun!!!

[joanna_d]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Playland, i'll post a link over here when i've posted the meditations on my thread, so you don't have to go looking for it

[Bruunhilde]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Joanne, inositol is discussed in Holistic - look for it here. Very interesting.Would love to hear more peoples' experiences.

[playland]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

Thanks Joanna, I'll keep an eye out for it

Stuck, yes, by all means I think you should propose while sober, who knows, you have had crush now for some time.

Love play

[spacebebe01]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

I dont think its a good idea to be a green card husband, havent you got enough going on. I hope your exams went off ok

[joanna_d]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

thanks Bruun, found it (i searched in a wrong way before, didn't know holistic was a sub forum)

i think i'm gonna try that inositol.

[StuckinLA]

Totally new to forum, sort of new to bac

What's up, everyone, how's the meditation going? I have not searched for any of the things you've all been searching for (wow, that sounds like I'm talking about something a lot deeper than the internet...), but I'm picturing buddhist-orange robes, candles, a little chanting, and great leaves of burning sage wafting smoke everywhere. Well, whatever it's all about I hope it's working out for you. Though, you know, maybe I should give something like that a try. Anything to introduce some calm into this apartment; right now I'm sitting in my new chair like a man besieged, a brush in one hand and a spray-bottle of water in the other, twisting and turning in all directions trying to simultaneously keep the cats happy, as they want attention, and get them to stop clawing at the new chair. Brush, brush, brush, scratch ears, spray water and scream "no claws!", brush, scratch ears, etc. God, it sounds so abusive, actually.

My exam went yesterday. Christ it was stressful and anxiety-ridden and I'm sure I was just blithering on like a half-wit. But I did pass, though I wouldn't have known it had they not all said congratulations and shook my hand at the end.

The bartender hasn't said congratulations or shaken my hand, but it feels like she's given me a similar pass. When I went in the other night she was immediately her charming self, talking about her day and all the cleaning she's doing, pointing to where there's no longer gum under the bar, talking about the various floor cleaners she tried, and asking what's missing from the Xmas decorations. I said mistletoe, by the way, but otherwise sat and didn't drink and things carried on as normal. Before leaving I did apologize for "getting so drunk" but she dismissed it with a wave of her hand. To me that seems somewhere between ambivalence and rejection, which is fine--expected, actually. So it doesn't look like there's a green card marriage in my immediate future.

That's about it here. Hope everyone's well. :l:l:l