Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

I had a great Saturday. Usually start drinking within an hour of waking up and drink all day. Frequently on weekends I pass out in the afternoon and then come to and start again. Usual consumption on a weekend day is 20-30 units.

With TSM, you take a 50mg naltrexone tablet an hour before drinking. That's really all there is to it. Most people count their drinks and chart their progress, but basically it works (if it does) even if you don't do anything but take the pill. And we consider that The Golden Rule. Never drink without taking the nal.

Anyway, since I have been on TSM that means the first thing I do on the weekend is take a nal and then wait as long as I can. I am not saying that I have never violated The Golden Rule but I try not to.

Last weekend I drank all day Saturday and Sunday. Thought each morning about trying to wait a little while but just couldn't do it. My wife is supporting me in all of this, but weekends cause her a lot of stress.

Since adding the bac starting Wednesday evening, I have greatly reduced my drinking. I am sleeping thru the night so don't have to drink myself back to sleep. I am not sure about general anxiety levels but, while it might indeed be a placebo effect, I feel tremendously less anxious about postponing starting drinking for the day.

Saturday I didn't take my nal until 3:25. That's almost unbelievable. What IS unbbelievable is that I didn't take my first drink for over 2 hours after taking the pill. And for the day I consumed slightly less than 10 units.

And after all of that, I actually went to bed. I didn't pass out in the recliner or on the sofa. I went to bed and slept for 8 hours.

Damn, what a great Saturday.

[COSGringo]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Gald to hear it!

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Unscheduled Titration Schedule

When I decided for sure to add bac to my TSM, the plan was to get to 50-75mg/day and stay there for as long as necessary. I am not trying to stop drinking yet, I just want to get a bit of control on it. If I can stay even where I have been the last few days that would be okay, but am hoping that in time my consumption will decrease further. I also know that this might be a "honeymoon period" and that I might return to previous levels for a while. Whatever.

My titration so far:

5/16 15mg evening
5/17 5mg morning, 5mg noon, 10mg evening=20mg/day
5/18 10mg morning, 10mg noon, 20mg evening=40mg/day
5/19 10mg morning, 10mg noon, 10mg afternoon, 20mg evening=50mg/day

My goal for today is 60mg. I took 15 mg morning, 10mg noon, will take 15 mg afternoon and 20mg evening. There were no noticable side effects after either dose so far. If today goes okay then will decide later about whether to keep taking 4 doses or drop back to 3 doses of 20mg. Will almost certainly change it to 3 doses because IF my order from River gets here I will probably do 3x25mg as the bac will be 25mg pills and I don't want to have to bother breaking pills all of the time. Will probably do at least one day of 3x22.5 before going to the 3x25.

Anyway, everything is coming up roses here in the Sunny South.

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Weight Issues

I have read here on MWO about a lot of people gaining weight after beginning baclofen, and I am one of those with a lot of weight issues. I had gastric bypass several years ago and lost about 125 pounds. A few years ago my shrink at the time doubled my dosage of Abilify (one of the drugs I was on for bipolar) and I gained 30 pounds in 30 days. Threw the abilify away and dropped 20 pounds in a couple of months, but a few pounds generally hung around, on top of 10 pounds I had picked back up anyway.

Last year I quit smoking and gained 26 pounds in the next few months. Which put me about 42 pounds over my post surgery low. Since the start of the year I have dropped 8 pounds, but have been sitting here at about 34 pounds over the low. I would really like to drop about 14-15 pounds, so I REALLY don't want to gain any because of the bac.

So, I decided to start an exercise program to coincide with starting on bac. I haven't done any exercise in several years. I joined a gym a few months ago and went a couple of times and that was about it.

I went for a couple of bicycle rides recently, but started riding every morning I think on Monday 5/14. I am always up a couple of hours before I have to leave for work so I have been riding half an hour each morning. Yesterday and today I rode for about 55 minutes each day. I hope to ride at least 3 days during the week and both days on the weekend.

I live pretty close to the gym that I joined so I hope to incorporate that into my routine. Ride the bike to the gym, work out for 20-30 minutes (strength training) and then bike home. But for now am just going to ride.

I am going to make this work. In AA we said "It takes what it takes." Ain't it the truth.

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

As for the bipolar thing, I got that same diagnosis from two shrinks. The first one put me on Effexor and Abilify. This was after an inpatient rehab and I was abstinent and going to AA at the time.

I didn't have faith in the diagnosis andI felt terrible, so I found me another shrink. He agreed with the previous shrink and doubled the dosage of both drugs.

A month later I stopped taking the Abilify. The AA group I was in believes that a recovering alkie shouldn't take any mood or mind altering drug, so I never even told my sponsor. Okay, with honesty being a big part of AA was always uncomfortable. So after a few months I stopped taking the Effexor cold turkey also.

A couple of weeks later I was out of AA and drinking again.

My current shrink thinks that most of my mental problems are due to drinking, and we will deal with them, if necessary, after we get the drinking under control.

Which is where things stand.

[COSGringo]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Watch out for those SSRI's. My doc loved trying to put me on those. I think I went through 6 of them. Miserable everytime. I would skip them if you can. If you can get healthy, exercise, and eat right you will work through that mess I think. Just a thought.

[spacebebe01]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

You do seem to be going all out for this, Im very impressed by your bike riding and exercising plans. That should help your mood as well. Its good you have a psychiatrist who is supporting you along the way, do you agree with thier idea of waiting until you get your drinking under control first. I dont know about abilify, my doc gives me serequel I think they may be similar.

Keep up the good work,

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Changes in attitude

On another site, I was talking about the changes in attitude that I was experiencing thanks to TSM. I hadn't expounded on the idea because there have now been changes in behavior to discuss, but I did want to touch on the subject. On that site I posted:

The main attitude change had been believing that this could work, and actually feeling that it would work. I was thinking that there were days when I might could go without drinking, or severly delay drinking, but I didn't. I could feel that there might actually come a time when I could set a drink down and say "I've had enough". I didn't feel ready to do it yet, but could feel it coming.

And it's getting closer. I am still not ready to go AF, but there are times that I think about it, even consider it. And that is a tremendous change in attitude.

This is Sunday, a weekend day. Usually a repeat of Saturday. All day drunking.

And in a way this has been a repeat of Saturday. I got up, went for a bicycle ride, got a lot of stuff done, and put off the taking of the nal and the onset of drinking. Only today, I didn't take the nal at 3:25. I didn't take it until 5:15. At about 6:15 I poured a glass of wine.

Almost 12 hours after waking up on a weekend morning, I poured my first drink. I still can't find words to tell you how incredible that is. And once again, there was a voice, albeit still pretty quiet, that said that I didn't really have to drink at all, that I could decide not to drink. It is only within the last week or so that I have ever heard that voice.

TSM is changing my life. TSM and baclofen are saving it.

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Pill chewing

In a previous post I mentioned having had gastric bypass a few years ago. One of the problems that comes afterward is absorption issues. We take a pill and it passes thru our system without being completely absorbed, so we lose some or a lot of the dosage. I have read somewhere that Dr. Eskapa has said that we who have had GB might need to grind up our pills and perhaps mix them with yogurt.

Ok, that ain't gonna happen. Not going to carry a mortar and pestle plus a carton of yogurt around. Well, I could use a....Nah. Gotta keep it simple.

I chew up my pills. Chew 'em up and wash 'em down.

Have only tasted the one brand of bac (Pacifen), but really can't recommend it flavor-wise. But while baclofen ain't great, it is ambrosia soaked in nectar compared to naltrexone. Thankfully, it's a one-a-day pill.

Said it before, but will say it again. Will do whatever it takes.

[COSGringo]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Pacifen and lioresal all both good brands. Just be careful as the doses can be different. The lioresal is usually 25 mg unless you went for then 10's.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

I read the following post to my husband. It took us both back to that time and place, and I kid you not that we both got goose bumps and a bit misty. It's hard to imagine spending a weekend day chained to a bottle, but I did it for as long as I can remember. And now I can't remember it!
Rock on, Poink! It just gets better.

Poink;1319798 wrote: I had a great Saturday. Usually start drinking within an hour of waking up and drink all day. Frequently on weekends I pass out in the afternoon and then come to and start again. Usual consumption on a weekend day is 20-30 units.

...
Last weekend I drank all day Saturday and Sunday. Thought each morning about trying to wait a little while but just couldn't do it. My wife is supporting me in all of this, but weekends cause her a lot of stress.

Since adding the bac starting Wednesday evening, I have greatly reduced my drinking. I am sleeping thru the night so don't have to drink myself back to sleep. I am not sure about general anxiety levels but, while it might indeed be a placebo effect, I feel tremendously less anxious about postponing starting drinking for the day.

Saturday I didn't take my nal until 3:25. That's almost unbelievable. What IS unbbelievable is that I didn't take my first drink for over 2 hours after taking the pill. And for the day I consumed slightly less than 10 units.

And after all of that, I actually went to bed. I didn't pass out in the recliner or on the sofa. I went to bed and slept for 8 hours.

Damn, what a great Saturday.

I distinctly remember when Ed (my husband) stopped coming to bed drunk. It was...amazing.

(btw, I think exercise really, really helped me when I was titrating up. And I found it more exhilirating than I ever had before. Not sure what effect the NAL will have on the endorphin high--and you might want to look into that--but a substantial number of us on bac have found it to be fairly incredible and long lasting. )

[Greg]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

I also find it amazing to hear of such improvements in a person's life, and I sincerely hope it leads to final freedom from this horrible slavery to alcohol.

[spacebebe01]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Poink;1319903 wrote:

The main attitude change had been believing that this could work, and actually feeling that it would work. .

.

That is music to my ears Pionk, it is working and its you thats making it work.

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Not much to report this morning. Another real good night of sleep. Slept for 6 hours and then had to go to the bathroom. Then I lay awake for a while, thinking that even if I couldn't get back to sleep 6 solid hours of good sleep would do. After about 45 minutes tho I did go back to sleep and slept another 2 hours. Another night of 8 hours sleep. Pretty cool.

The 60mg/day went fine yesterday so will stick with this for a while. Going to keep with the 4 doses for at least another day.

Big day today, better get it started. Thanks for tuning in. I really do appreciate all of you riding along.

[Poink]

Poink's TSM/Bac Attack

Took a 3 day weekend. Had family staying with us and several events to attend and it was a perfect set-up for disaster. Most of the family members think I am still in AA and am abstinent. A couple of weekends recently with different relatives made an ass of myself and got very drunk at very innappropriate times.

I dread these weekends. I worry and worry and just can't stand people interfering with my drinking and...

I had a great weekend. I was able to drink each day, but able to delay starting until all the family functions were over, and to keep the totals way down. I interacted with my family better that I can remember, including during periods of sobriety. Still not completely ready to credit the 60mg bac with such deep relief of anxiety and the ease with which I dealt with the weekend, but it's hard not to.

Slept uninterupted for almost 7 hours last night. The improved sleep is due to the bac. Almost a week now of great sleep after several weeks of very little and very poor sleep. Just 2 weekends ago I spent almost the whole day sobbing. Not weeping. Sobbing. Uncontrollable crying. Yeah, I have several mental issues, but when my wife asked what had happened I just told her that I was so tired, so tired.

Today I am rested and optimistic and just generally feel pretty damn good. And that's pretty damn cool.