Sticky,
I'm glad to see you're sticking to the HDB. I wish you the best and hope you hit the switch soon! Or as in my case, gradual switch!
On the subject of HDB causing depression, if you would have asked me in Jan and Feb I would've wholeheartedly agreed. I was going through a lack of zest and feeling of going through the motions. I definitely thought it was the HDB and while grateful that I wasn't binge drinking, I didn't like how I was feeling.
Fast forward two months and I'm feeling much, much better. There are probably a ton of reasons why I was depressed. High on that list was looking back at the destruction my alcoholism had caused. Trying to live life sober without a crutch being another reason. But one thing I think Bac did was calm my brain. I wasn't making mountains out of molehills. I wasn't feeling the extremes, either the joyous highs or terrible lows. I was just on cruise control. That was very weird for me. I was so used to feeling extremes that not feeling them was disturbing. This is what I wrote about back then, not having the zest for life.
I don't know if my brain just needed a rest or a reset but I'm feeling better. I'm still not making mountains out of molehills (for the most part :H) but I am back to smiling and laughing and worrying and being frustrated and best of all, being silly with my kids. In AA my sponsor would tell me, "once you get sober what you worry about now, won't even be a blip on your screen a year from now". Well I'm 9 months into my Baclofen journey and thank God most of what I was worrying about in August is not on my radar.
One thing I will add is when I drink (not often, and not much), I don't worry about going back to my alcoholic ways, but the "blahs" affect me afterward for 3 days or more. Maybe it's my brain still adjusting, but it brings me to a funk. I hate it, and since I don't need to drink anymore I avoid it.
JKTTP!
Cheers!
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