Progress thread for Sticky

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

Hi all
I feel depressed as hell. Got drunk Thurs night then couldn't get out of bed yesterday. All I did was make lunch for youngest, do a load of washing, chat briefly to both boys, ready youngest a story and say good night to them. Hubby is very angry. I was up half the night getting pissed & keeping him awake. I am once again"abandoning him & the kids. I am trouble and I should just sod off". Of course I deserve worse than that and most guys would have got rid of me years ago!

So now I will try 150mg and hope that works. Don't like my chances. I guess 210 wasn't my switch.

Sticky:upset:

[john doe]

Progress thread for Sticky

My TSM stink didn't end well either Sticky but keep at the Bac. Did you OD by jumping down and going up again too fast?

I'd hate to see people stopping because of SEs. You'll always be like "what if?" Have you thought about trying Loops liquid? I've been having some problem with nausea and I think it might be with just taking to many tablets.

Keep motoring on...

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

Thanks John

No, I just got confused b/c I'd been drinking and couldn't remember that I'd already taken night-time dose.

Don't think the liquid is an option as I have a GP prescribing bac to me and need to follow his advice as well as the advice I get on MWO.

Good luck with the nausea. I get that too, but in my case bac causes bad constipation & I think that's why.

Cheers
Sticky

[john doe]

Progress thread for Sticky

Once I got up over 200 the SEs have came to light. Nausea, dreams, insomnia. My face looks droopy as f**k as well.

I here the liquid is pretty good regarding SEs. I buy my Bac online I wish I had a script. Now I'm on a high dose I'll really need to keep on top of my supply. Goldpharma are really good with delivery times but like I said... the tablets are starting to take their toll.

[Colin]

Progress thread for Sticky

Sorry about your bad experiences. There is currently some debate about the length of time that you should stay at your controlling dose (aka switch). Perhaps forever?

On another thread it is also suggested that Dr. A and Dr. L both advise three times a day with most in the morning and evening, with the evening dose three hours before bedtime. Something like 80, 40, 80 for a total of 200 per day. This will probably reduce the somnolence during the day.

I will try something like that except that I'll probably have the last dose just before bedtime.

[MaryGoRound]

Progress thread for Sticky

Sticky-

Sorry you had to come down. I understand the issues with the SEs and the depression with HDB is also problem for me. Hopefully 150mg will sort you out along with some other tools.

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

Gave myself a big fright - got to 120 then drank way too much, had argument with hubby and felt suicidal. Lucky I am still here. If cats have 9 lives, we must have 90. Another one down!

Don't feel like drinking at all. But I knew I hadn't really reached the switch. I can always try again, like Neva Eva. In the meantime I will try to moderate around 150.

Sticky

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

Oh God - that last post was just a repeat of what I'd already written. Except that the feeling suicidal thing was a little more than that. Basically it's a miracle I'm not back in the ER overnight. Actually I should have gone but felt too bad after all they did for me last time! Also don't want GP to know that I now think I took too many antidepressants as well as or instead of OD-ing by mistake on bac & that's why I had to go to hospital. So what the f**k else did I stupidly go & do & didn't get checked out - I took 7 zopiclone (sleeping pills) at once. I googled a bit and thought I'd be fine. I had been so good with them and in my favour have never cross addicted to anything since becoming an alkie. I had them to help with bac and had averaged half a pill once every 10 days for the past 5? months. Hardly likely to get addicted like that. But now I will NOT be getting any more in case I manage to top myself with them.

GP wants me to be transparent with my journey so perhaps I will fess up. In fact I think I should writing this, as I need to ring him tomorrow as not going to continue to titrate down. Am just scared he will not let me take any more bac!! But also as we know this disease is deadly. Once again I am playing Russian Roulette with my life and also the lives of my poor hubby and kids and everyone else I love. Wish I had been able to make AA/staying sober my no.1 priority in life and been in the 0.001% ?? of alkies and stayed sober for the last f**king 20 years.

And guess what taking 7 zopiclone meant - I then went for 48 hours straight without being able to sleep at all and am majorly sleep deprived. Had headaches, prob temporarily affected my heart, liver, God knows what else. I am 52 and am unlikely to make it past 72 even if I do get sober/healthy again. Maybe I need to read a Kiwi book, "20 good summers." That could be all I have left and this last summer was crap thanks to HDB. First day of winter next Sat (1 June) and also 1 year on bac for me. I need to pull my head in, try not to drink at all and instead of being so selfish get back to being a better mum and business partner.

Sticky

[john doe]

Progress thread for Sticky

Sticky definitely tell your doc what's going on. Luckily I'm not on meds but I've messed about with poly drug abuse all my life and I think I've had a few more close calls than I tell myself.

Mixing CNS depressants is a no go. Very very easy way to not wake up. I've taken CRAZY amounts of benzos whilst coming off cocaine mixed with crate load of booze and when I tell some people they don't believe me. I've had a few close call with taking way too much MDMA. Once on my 18 birthday... scary.. people where dying all over then (93). I've landed in hospital after cocaine induced panic attacks thinking I was taking a heart attack.

I could go on all day about mixing drugs. I done it constantly every week end for nearly 20 years. I've known too many people who have passed because of poly drug abuse.

The worst thing about going to hospital like you said is your afraid to go again in case there's nothing wrong with you and you look silly. Thins is dangerous as this could be the time you really do need assistance.

I don't know much about anti depressants but they surely can't be a good think either mixed with all of the above. Benzos on their on like zops can be very hard to OD on but mixed with all of the above your playing around.

Take care Sticky.

[john doe]

Progress thread for Sticky

Forgot to add Sticky. You say you were having headaches. Please don't be adding any opiates in to the above mix. Have a good heart to heart with you GP. You seem like you have a good relationship. I have with mine and always tell him the full story about what I'm at. He doesn't judge but its hard to help me if he doesn't know the full story.

Again... take care

JD

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

Hey thanks JD for your quick response. Actually some of what u said I don't fully understand right now as am so tired and have never done any hard drugs. I get the gist tho'. Tried dope (marijuana) at uni and occasionally since but got scared off after bad experience and eternal hammering in AA about dangers of cross addicting. Which are very real and true.

Fortunately ADs are not addictive in the way benzos and sleeping pills are. I can't come off them as last time I tried years ago I got depressed again, had other horrible SEs and ended up drinking again after not doing so for months. Bummer that HDB makes me depressed. Probably wouldn't be so bad if I actually tried doing it sober!

But actually I had just got up to do exactly what u say - I am going to copy and paste my last post on my thread to my GP and ask him to call me later today.

Cheers
Sticky :thanks:

[john doe]

Progress thread for Sticky

I'm don't really know anything about ADs as said Sticky but HDB, loads of zops and booze I wouldn't have though would a great combo.

Have you thought about maybe using Antabuse for a while to give you head start with moving up your Baclofen dose whilst being sober? I was going to do this if I though I was gonna be drinking titrating up as I didn't fancy the Baclofen/Alcohol HOs

[RedThread12]

Progress thread for Sticky

Yo, Sticky! Yikes! Yuck! Yippee!! You are alive! You aren't drinking yourself to death!

That's one snake stomped! (Snake-stompin' has become my metaphor for my life, which, really, should only be in a novel, except no one could make this sh**t up!) As I may have told you, or you read, I've been taking bac since Oct. '09, and have SERIOUSLY overdosed twice, and not so seriously another time or two. Interestingly, I never missed a pill or the correct dosage on the correct day until i had been taking bac for over 2 years. So being as stupid as I was really has no excuse. But, there 'ya go . . .

My observation regarding successfully ending alcohlism, long term, with baclofen, is that it often involves discovering a boat-load of physical and psychological influences that we mostly have no clue we are carting around. So please, please, please don't judge or berate yourself. I think it's important to recognize that we are ALL, still, in the very early stages of pioneering this new paradigm of dealing with addiction. And this will still be Your Way Out, according to your own neuro-bio-chemistry, life experiences, and, well . . . we don't really know what else!

Somehow i was fortunate to recognize pretty immediately that if I "overdrank" baclofen, it might mean serious trouble. And if you read back into some of the absolutely breath-taking and astounding threads from courageous, desperate, drunks here on MWO, it does indeed appear that some people get into trouble with that. And that depression or a variety of psychological issues along their entire spectrum can pop right up to the top when alcohol is taken out of the equation. In the big picture, that may be wonderful. But it may be another unexpected snake to stomp.

I have seen a lot of pretty intense, wild stuff go by on this board. And I don't think I've ever seen a single instance that didn't resolve favorably with the application common sense, correct information, and lots of it, a plan of some time.

I had been taking 100 mg Zoloft/day when I started taking baclofen. It went away, kind of by itself. I was scripted Seroquel off-label for sleep years before i started baclofen, so i never had somnolence, nor insomnia. And YES, everyone . . . I know that an anti-psychotic for sleeping is not everyone's cup of tea, and I am not in the least interested in arguing about it, either way. I'm just reporting my own experience. And even still, I occasionally use a benzo for anxiety or sleep. I am a science-fair experiment; I recognize that; and, although I don't have a doctor, i keep 2 friends informed regarding what I am and am not taking, for the sake of transparency AND in case I ever need the baclofen I have stashed with them, should I ever be separated from my own.

Sticky . . . life is quite a challenge, regardless of our state of intoxication or lack thereof. It. Just. Is. Once I figured that out, and I am not the first one to notice, either, I felt relief. I wasn't mucking it up! It's just effin' hard!! So hang in there!! I bought a blood pressure cuff to check whether or not I really was about to explode, and some phenergan for the horrible nausea I get when I've OD'd on bac. Sometimes I think I'm not afraid enough about this experiment - it never even occurred to me to call a friend when I was up all night the first time I did that, let alone go to the ER. But then again, reading what I had here on MWO, it didn't seem like a very good option. There is a case report, somewhere, of a woman who TRIED to kill herself with massive amounts of baclofen. It didn't work. Knowing that was quite helpful when I realized what I had done.

AA's "one day at a time" is kind of an understatement about the bac-path. It's often one hour, or 15 minutes, during which everything changes in unexpected ways. You can figure this ALL out. I know you can. You probably can't stomp every snake, all at once. Just one at a time - talking to your doctor, addressing depression with some additional tools, relationship stuff . . . you know . . . life! One snake at a time. Hang in!! Do whatever it takes!!

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

Hi everyone

Red - thanks so much. That's a great post. Yes life sure wasn't made to be easy. A fellow AAer friend of mine tried bac. She overdosed hugely. Ended up in a coma, nearly died, but came back to life. So of course it was no more bac for her from the same GP I'm seeing.

I so need some sleep tonight. Emailed GP and he is ringing me to discuss tomorrow. I am lucky to have him.

JD - But am also envious that you were able to titrate up so rapidly and it sounds like you are at the switch or almost there. GP would NEVER have let me do that. Guess my circumstances wouldn't have allowed it either. Kids, Hubby, 2 businesses. i am very fortunate I still have all those things.

Night
Sticky

[john doe]

Progress thread for Sticky

I'm lucky in that I don't have a lot going on Sticky. I'd planned on going up even quicker SEs allowing but being AF mostly from the beginning I see no reason to rush things. I couldn't imagine doing this with a family to look after... and a business!

What had helped me I think, is that I was able to more or less stop my drinking when I started on Bac. The first night I started I also had my last real session and I suffered so badly the next day. I couldn't imagine going through that right the way up. You should really look into Antabuse to get you over say the first few week or maybe even a month? I think you'd find it so much easier if you were AF.

Best of luck with you GP