Progress thread for Sticky

[Sticky]

Progress thread for Sticky

STICKY!
Hiya, sister.

Dude, why is it that everyone always hears that I think they should "go for the switch"? Well, whatever. Who knows, maybe I even wrote that somewhere. I'm too lazy to look. (I rarely think that, for the record.)

What I remember thinking is that I hoped you were taking care of you. But it sounds as though your hands are really full. Sometimes, as much as it drives me nuts when it happens in my own life, circumstances make it hard to focus on personal priorities. (There was a meditation that we used to do in outpatient rehab that went something like, "Everything is [breath in], just as it should be, [breath out]." And all I could think at the time was, "um. Nope.
Things are not how they should be.")

I'm really sorry to hear about your husband, Sticky. That's really tough. I am glad that your son has gotten into a school that holds promise. I hope that you guys (and you in particular) are holding the pieces together, even if it takes double-stick duct tape and saliva. I know you're a powerhouse, but I would imagine everything is not how it should be.

Things 'round here are fine. We're done talking about the night and the drinking and have moved on to more pertinent and demanding things, like cleaning the gutters and clearing a space for a shed. I'm not experiencing full-on depression, but I can tell that if I don't take dramatic action, it'll happen. It's a hard thing to combat once it's arrived. I'm doing my best.

Nice to hear from you. I'm really glad you stopped by and posted. Hang in there, Sticky.
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#1942 (permalink) Report Post
Old 11-08-2013, 02:40 PM
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Thanks for the info links Ne.
We cross-posted, Spirit. I wasn't suggesting that you slog through the whole of them, by the way! Just that they are there, and there might be something you want to pursue in them.
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Old 11-08-2013, 10:42 PM
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Hi again

Just wrote another long post only to lose it. Bugger! The gist was you definitely suggested twice to keep increasing the dose to reach indifference as you had. That it was so worth it. And once I'm sure you suggested I take 2-4 weeks out to do so. If only it were that easy! Grr!
I imagine it is a good place to be. If I could ever have the months "out" it would take under my doc's advice. "Out" being trying to function, feeling depressed, barely coping, then not coping at all like the last attempt where I "only" got to 210.

If I were to ever try it again I would need hubby to give me the pills so I didn't OD again. I've told doc no more sleeping pills. My friend on bac has been put off going for the "switch" by my experience.

I can often just have 2 drinks, especially if I have cider rather than wine. I don't drink as often as I did on TSM. Ideally it will just be in the weekends. I will have to work on this and on getting enough sleep.

On that note I'm off to bed.

You take care
Sticky
Last edited by Sticky : 11-08-2013 at 10:54 PM.
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Progress thread for Sticky

Hi NE

Long time no speak. Sorry to hear you are having relationship problems. I hope things are going better and that the exam went OK. I too am depressed and last night only had 3 hours sleep. I think menopause may be compounding things. Am on 130 and was on 140 for 3 months or so. Still drink too much at least once a week and sometimes moderate well. Anyway middle of the night last night I looked at your bump on moderation/abstinence and that was helpful.
I know you told me just go for the switch. Last time I tried that I was depressed for months, hospitalised once and should have gone to hospital another time. A loose cannon yet again. Right now I can't consider trying again. Hubby has prostate cancer and is undergoing radiation so I need to be here corpus mentis. Actually the mentis (sp?) part is away with the fairies and somewhat miserable, but at least I'm doing my bit. Workwise and parenting wise. Also our youngest has had issues around not going to school. Anxiety at 11. Had to do counselling and local constable called in twice. Fun oh fun. Next year he has been accepted into the school he wants to go to for his last year before high school, so I hope he will be happy there.

Must dash as hubby home and need to work

Sticky

[Sticky]

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That's Ne for you.

HI STICKY!!

Great to see you! Sorry about things with hubby - sound like you have your hands full. But I'm glad you're hanging in there. Big hugs, love.
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Old 11-09-2013, 09:18 AM
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Sticky, I've started a long response to you that I need to think about before I post. Let me just say that I'm sorry that I made you feel badly, that I know you are doing the absolute best that you can, and that I really want to support you in whatever way you need. I'm sorry I didn't do that or express that before.

I'm going to take a minute to write about myself, and I'll come back and respond more fully to your posts later. Maybe on your thread.

I'm reading and studying General Anxiety Disorder right now. I have to act like a patient with GAD for a group project for school.

I am shocked and dismayed and completely blown away by the symptoms. It's what I lived with for 20+ years, and what I'm going through now. Even with all of the experiences I've had with baclofen, and with therapy and sobriety and all of the research I've read about anxiety and addiction, I have never really seen myself as clearly as I do from reading about and listening to personal accounts of people with GAD.

And for the first time in several months, I'm feeling as though there might be a little bit of hope for feeling much better without Herculean effort. God, that would be so nice.

NIMH ? Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
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Old Today, 12:18 AM
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Ah, hell.

I'm still not sure what I wanted to say and that was endless and maybe pointless. Back with more later...
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Old Today, 12:39 AM
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NE - Don't feel bad at all. You are the one I look up to the most here. You were only trying to support me and you have been the best at that.

Stuck - hugs to you to too.

Maybe tomorrow I'll reinstate my thread. Or NE will. No promises though.

I expect I have suffered from GAD from birth & I haven't even looked at your link yet NE.

Not only does hubby have cancer but his sister hasn't spoken to him for months. This is because he had to ask her some hard financial questions on behalf of his mum. She cuts people out very easily. She is addicted to spending money but will never admit she has a problem! So hubby & I and our kids don't get to see my great-niece, niece & hubby, nephew and girlfriend. Bitch face sister-in-law has decreed it so. It is so upsetting as I don't have any family in NZ apart from my parents. My brother is probably dead in Bangkok. His 2 babies died of cot death. Thanks to alcoholism & cigarette smoking in the parents. Not attending regular health check ups. In my brother's girlfriend's case not knowing that she was pregnant for several months first time around. All my other rellies are in the UK and I haven't seen any of them for 19 years. Oh well. Maybe someday soon I'll be able to dance at a party with my sister-in-law again. She of anyone has been the most disrespectful about my alcoholism. She suffered from depression at one point, but OH NO it was nothing like what I have felt over & over. A pharmacist friend of hers whom she also cut out told me recently that she used to liken it to being a diabetic. As do many in AA. But OH NO Rhonda would much rather cut me out for 18 months and slag me off to all her friends and husband's family so she could feel better about herself. Even if I were in the same room as her, she would treat me like I didn't exist. Snarky cow. More like fucking bitch. Hubby called her that and she feels she needs an apology. What about get down off your high horse and treat your sick brother with the respect he deserves? She, hubby and mum-in-law have to sit down and sign some financial papers. Until all that's done I can't go to our accountant and pick up all our end of financial year (31 March) papers I provided for our 2 businesses. An email re this will be first on the agenda in a few hours whether hubby likes it or not. Also then he can apologise if he chooses for what he said. Those of us who want to can actually see each other. I in particular want to see my great niece. We had our kids late and if our boys wait as long as hubby did we won't meet our grandkids. I have a life threatening illness. Hubby has 2. Heart disease and now cancer.

Lack of sleep and seeing mum-in-law and nephew's girlfriend today resulted in another meltdown on my part. Now it is 12.38am. I'm forcing myself to stay up late as I should. Now will go try and get some sleep.

Sticky
Last edited by Sticky : Today at 04:10 AM.
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NE - Wow, we've been posting at the same time. No doubt it's not the middle of the night for you! Now I'm too tired to read it so will have a look tomorrow or later on if I still can't sleep!

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Old Today, 03:40 AM
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Hey K

Sleep eludes me. I'm now remembering a Shakespearian quotation, "Sleep, the innocent sleep...."
Is there an easy way to find my old thread? I don't really want to go back through the last 20 pages or whatever.

N
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Old Today, 05:21 AM
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Hey K

Sleep eludes me. I'm now remembering a Shakespearian quotation, "Sleep, the innocent sleep...."
Is there an easy way to find my old thread? I don't really want to go back through the last 20 pages or whatever.

N
Yes. Sorry I missed this before. I'm attempting to stay away from the computer! When you decide to look, hit the search button up there ^^^ on the right-ish side of the blue bar. Go to advanced, put in your name, click on the button that says "thread", then go down and click again on the button that says "thread" (vs. post) and hit enter.

Or something like that! Make sure you click on the thread options, though. Because otherwise you'll end up with ALL your posts. I recently had occasion to read them, including your first one, and it made me very nostalgic. I'm really glad to hear from you, Sticky. I am also really sorry for the circumstances.

I've just been completely busted by my husband! I am supposed to be packing up for a day trip to go shopping in a nearby city. (You can imagine how enthusiastic he is about that. Not at all.) And here I sit. Just like bac(k) in the day! Gotta goooooooooo!

xxoo
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Progress thread for Sticky

To those of you who knew Sticky, I am very sad to bring the news that she died in Auckland, NZ on the 18th January 2014. She leaves behind her husband and two boys, aged 11 and 15.

I am starting a separate thread for this.