Giving up....in a good way!

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

Try adding some glutamine and some real food instead of those chemical creamers. Get real cream or half and half and put SUGAR in it, or chocolate. Then you're getting your treats, feeding your sugar monster (which comes out when AL is absent for most of us as you know), and you have something to drink.

I've been starting earlier and earlier, working at home makes it easy to start at like 4pm, and by 6pm I'm deep in the mud. Don't feel bad, for every horrible thing I've done, someone else has done something worse. I think the guilt/shame makes us worse with the need to escape so just stop it. (I'm talking to myself here). We are never the worst and maybe we'll never be the best in the public view, but we can be OUR best.

Ugh. I am not finding my inner Sober Person. She is gripping a bottle of Saphhire and grinning at me.

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Tell her to RUN!!!! She is not you!!! We are doing this together, if you want....Have any AF days? Let's start fresh today and make today day 1!!!

You in, Bruun??

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hey Ta's.

Sorry I'm on the kindle so beware!

Btw what is ta's?

Tonight is not the af night but neither am I actually blotto. You know how it is when u have the drive vs no drive!? My advice is to grab onto that drive you had or have and do NOT let it go regardless of what your walkies drinky thoughts tell you. That was a l k I e not walkies. Space - what is a walkies? Oh it doesn't come in si gulaf - hilarious. In singular.

Good nits all...

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

So my son told me I looked happy when I got up this morning. And I said as opposed to....he said tired and crabby!! AKA hungover!!!

Hows this for a sober day out of the house we are going to take the train downtown and go to the top of the Sears Tower, I told him we would and I am not backing out from being too sick!

Bruun, what can I do for you??? I am here if you need anything!!

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Good morning, ladies. Sorry to jump in, but a couple of quick thoughts.

Taw: I drink tons of coffee, too, throughout the whole day. I have a travel mug that I'm always sipping from--I swear, people might get the idea that I'm an alcoholic hiding booze in there :H I'm not (that's what the flask in my bag is for).

Point is, a couple cups of coffee is great for waking up, but I vaguely remember reading an article (forgive my fuzzy memory) that said coffee isn't actually that strong of a stimulant. Caffeine is a stimulant, of course, but the overall effect of coffee is to block the feeling of tired rather than wake us up, if that makes sense. Anyway, important part is that coffee is asking your body for adrenaline. And if you're continuously drinking coffee you're continuously asking your body for adrenaline, and you can run out. In other words, after a while all the coffee in the world won't do anything, and just makes you more tired...

And caffeine stays with you for about 6 hours anyway, so I know it's tough, and I'm not taking my own advice, but if you can manage to hold yourself to maybe 2 cups in the morning and then 1 or 2 in the afternoon, you might find it actually works better... I say this as I just brewed a whole pot for my morning email/news/nicotine fix :H All in all, and this is kinda buried here in what's turning out to be a long message, way to go with the AF!

Bruun: Hang in. I know it's no laughing matter, but I'm smiling a bit when I think of Sapphire the bottle and Sapphire's The Kid over there. Working from home's a blessing and curse, no? But I'm glad you've got a No Shame outlook--that's really important and really good.

Oh, and I love your kindle.

[windycitylady]

Giving up....in a good way!

I'm with Bruun, Taw. EAT! Reward yourself! Sears Tower sounds great! It's an absolutely beautiful (read: not dangerously hot) day. How good it must feel to hear that from your son. I'm so happy for you. How are you feeling? Any ants in your pants?
Bruun, just for you, I will not listen to my walkies drinky thoughts.

[Greg]

Giving up....in a good way!

taw;1352203 wrote: The plan is to take it and keep taking it. I have taken if before for a few days then stopped...this time I know the longer I take it the longer I have to go without drinking. And getting into my system early everymorning so I cannot talk my way out of it later in the day.

I know I'm very late in contributing to this thread, but I felt I had to stress how much my own experience has shown me the importance of taking Antabuse every day, and always in the morning.

I had some initial successes with it, even at only 1/4 of a pill each morning, but then I started to miss days, or tell myself I wouldn't take it in the morning but would instead take it that evening. Every one of those times ended in failure, because I would quickly start planning to deliberately not take any more and wait until I could drink again. As a result I have fallen into a pathetic drinking-detox-drink again-detox again-etc. etc. cycle in the past 3-4 months.

I had been doing a lot better before this, but only due to absolute dedication to daily morning ingestion of Antabuse.

I'm currently chasing up a new treatment, which may be able to be started while still drinking too, but I intend to once again make daily morning AB part of my treatment once I get back on my feet again.

I hope you and most others have been doing way better than myself lately!!

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hey All!

Stuck, I drink my wine at home out of a travel mug so my son does not know I am drinking...mixed with just enough coffee to kill the wine smell! That made me laugh...and I understand about the coffee. I just did a couple cups this morning. And I am dragging, but ya know what? It's ok. I got energy from my wine, but I think a dragging sober mom is better than a drunk one, right?? We are not up for doing much here today anyway, over cast, raining on and off, so mood fits the weather!

Windy, yesterday was the perfect day weather wise, but man was it crowded. I loaded up on life savers and starbursts, for the sugar, when I knew I was going to start to lose it!! Helped a little...maybe.

Greg, I am so interested in our upcoming new treatment. I read about it right after I started this thread. I was going to hold off quitting drinking until I heard about that program but thought that was silly! Who knows how long, etc. and I need to get sober now. I wish you the best with it and please keep us posted. As for the AB, first thing every morning with my prozac!!

today I am feeling ok....yes, ants in my pants, want to jump out of my skin, one sip would take the weight of the world off my shoulders!!! It is Day 7, so I am sure most of the AL is out of my system by know. I have been drinking crystal light and sobe water none stop, so this is where the mind comes in, correct? I cannot sit still, I know I should eat something, but no appetite. I am getting snippy with my son, but just keep saying I'm sorry.

On our train ride home yesterday, I told him about the AB. The poor kid will be 10 next week and already knows too much about addiction. He has asked me in the past if I had been drinking. I said yes, I have had a glass of wine (which was probablpy more like 7 glasses at that point) and he said thank you for being honest with me. This has been happening more often, so I told him I am now on a med that I cannot drink at all. He said good! He knew I was never supposed to be drinking anything, but knew I would figure it out. OMG!!! Out of a childs mouth!

And the cutest thing of all today, when I come into my room to check the computer since the wireless on this one doesn't work or come in here to smoke, he will peek around the corner, looking for my green travel mug or crouched in the corner secrectly trying to pour!

Wow! This has turned into quite a spew and I apologize! I have been watching my sons programs all day with him. He doesn't want to do anything today....he just wants to be with me! His shows are one, he is on the computer and I have been reading...he just wants us in the same room. That is the best because I can and I don't have to hide anymore!!

Hope everyone had/has a good day. Sorry again for the novel!! Off to watch Pair of Kings!!

[spacebebe01]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hi Taw, its great to read your new thread, its just like your telling my story with my son, I have spent so much time sitting in the kitchen drinking with my son in the living room on his own watching tv or playing games while he has asked me to sit with him. I took an AB this morning and also have done the whole take then every 2 days or whatever and they just dont work like that, when AB worked for me I took it every morning, even if it was 1/2 a pill it was still every morning and that way I knew I couldnt drink. I havent decided what Im doing yet I started topa 4? days ago so not sure whether Im staying on AB I really took it this morning because I was starting to panic about my drinking getting out of control. But I am taking it for the rest of the week.

My son is 13 on saturday and I an going to be sober and not hungover for his birthday

[Greg]

Giving up....in a good way!

taw;1353490 wrote: Greg, I am so interested in our upcoming new treatment. I read about it right after I started this thread. I was going to hold off quitting drinking until I heard about that program but thought that was silly! Who knows how long, etc. and I need to get sober now. I wish you the best with it and please keep us posted. As for the AB, first thing every morning with my prozac!!

Yes, please don't (and this applies to everyone) hang out and wait for me to deliver a magic cure-all statement on this forum! I myself am trying to stay sober for as many days as I can, even before I find out about the new idea. I may only end up getting a very generalized briefing about this treatment at the end of this week, and may then have to be transferred to a doctor closer to my home if my current doc (who is 200 km away) won't directly treat me. He likes to be able to closely monitor all patients on any new treatments, especially anything unusual, and he has never been comfortable with the distance between him and I.

It is quite likely I will have to spend weeks looking for a closer doctor who is open-minded enough to actually prescribe this method to me on any sort of long-term basis, although I am going to try my best to ask the current doc if he will at least start me off on it, as I will offer to live with my mother initially and she is in the same general area as he is (only 8 km away or so).

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Me too Space! He will be 10 on Saturday and I will not be hungover!!! I am actually thowing him a surprise party so cannot be hungover or drunk! Good for you with the AB! Whatever works works!

Sorry Greg, I wasn't pressuring you for information. I know it will be a while. I do hope it works for you. I know everyone is looking for you to answers you do not have. But I do hope you get them, and they are the ones you need and help you.

Feeling much better now, ate something, went for a short walk....creepy skin feeling is gone. I really need to figure out how to eat better and more oftern. I KNOW that will help alot! Speaking of which, time to make dinner for the lad and I.

[Greg]

Giving up....in a good way!

No worries Taw, I posted a couple of things on my thread about this, as I feel guilty for jumping the gun on this issue. Apparently many hundreds of others here in Australia did the same thing as myself, upon hearing of this on national TV, which is why the hospital running the program has become totally inundated with queries. They have doctors on hold back past the end of August now, I believe!

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Space and Taw, you ladies are my heroes right now. Seriously. As the son of a woman who (I assume) went through what (I assume) you're going through, I can say you will never regret fighting for this.

I remember one it must have been a Saturday, I was like 9 or 10 probably, and my mom took me to the local library for something. One of those she just drove me over there 'cause I needed a book for school or just for something to read. And I remember very clearly saying, as we were walking out into the parking lot back to the car, "I really like you when you're like this, Mom."

It took me many, many years, and many of my own years with this disease, to realize how devastating that must have been to her. Of course because the reason "like this" stood out to me was that there was rarely a weekend day she'd be able to drive, or even go, anywhere with me. Not even in the mornings.

Anyway... nothing is irreparable. Just hang in there and fight the good fight. I love my mom, btw, and mad love to you 2, too.

hearts and smilies and hugs

[spacebebe01]

Giving up....in a good way!

Oh stuck, I feel like crying, I dont know why I just do, but it makes me happy that you love you mom, no child should see thier mum in the states that mine have seen me, but I can only change now. I have always loved my kids as Im sure your mom always loved you but this horrible disgusting disease stops us showing it.

We will show it tho, together, thats you as well TAW

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

AWww,, Stuck! I did cry!!! Thanks for that!

I keep thinking about the past, that when D was little, up until he was 5 I worked 2 ful time jobs so I did not get so see much of him. Then my ex moved out so I had to quit my second job and that is really when my drinking go out of control, so I don't remember much of that. he is going to be 10 Saturday, and gosh darn it, I am going to be present full time in his life! I have missed enough, I will not miss anymore!

Space, we will do this!!! One day, hour, minute, second at a time!!!

Best too all today!!!