Giving up....in a good way!

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Oh dears, didn't mean to make anyone cry!

Though, in retrospect, that might've been kinda the worst example to give... Moral of Story: my mom sobered up, Lord knows how, and there's nothing that can't be forgiven with time. And that's not meant to put some sort of guilt-ridden pressure on anybody, either! Geez, making a mess of this...

Now it's just her personality that I have to deal with :H

Mad love, peeps.

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

Happy Monday all!

Yesterday I was only going to finish the three beers in the fridge and call it a day. Well, I was planning to do that in the evening. Then I thought, at around 1pm, 'lots of people have a beer mid-day on the weekend' and popped a Sierra Nevada. Then my sister called and since drink phoning is a favorite pastime, I drank the other two soon after. Then after we hung up, I lazed around for a couple hours, read a book, puttered. This is when it would be ideal to have a sort of AB that you could take after a few drinks to stop further drinks. At 5pm, I went to the store and SHOCKER, I bought two bottles of wine. I 'only' drank one. So much for tapering. At least it wasn't Sapphire. Funny you made that connection Stuck, I hadn't and its the kind of irony I like to notice.

Space and Taw, I can't imagine having kids to worry about. I hit my dog yesterday for barking at me (he gets really excited about going out and stands at the dog and barks wildly at me). (Not proud). I could never have kids ...

Popped my first AB in a long time earlier this AM. Now no more walkies drinky thoughts for a while.

Thanks for the inspiration Space and Taw.

[spacebebe01]

Giving up....in a good way!

Bruun now Im all excited and jumping up and down, well in my seat kind of. You have taken your AB too Try and take another one as soon as you open your eyes tommorrow thats what I did today, I only got up to go the loo but I came downstairs and took it so I didnt go putting it off.

It is horrible to think of all the time weve missed with our kids lives TAW, but I want to thank you stuck for letting us know that you still love your mum and yes, we can do this....and we will

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Stuck, no messes made at all! I am sure that is exactly what my son was thinking of me Saturday when I finally did not break my promise to do something! It was a happy cry!! PROMISE!!!

Bruun, good for you on the AB! Like space said, take another one 1st thing tomorrow...you know all this, I know you do, but good for you on the first one!! I think AB will prove very effective for us!! Takes the fight out of it! I am tired of fighting!

I almost cannot wait to wake up to take mine, well not really, but waking up not hungover sure does feel good!!!...I am sure I am taking too much....in true addict fashion, but I want no discussions with any parts of my brain as to whether I can drink because I have only taken this much, etc. , etc. Full pills for me 8 days in a row. I might need to slow up a bit in a couple weeks if my new shipment does not get here. But for now it's all good! I want to be like Windy and look back and have 5 months AF!

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

Yes I know all that and I also know that it helps me to hear it again and again because of course there's that drinking thinking brain that is talking on the other end of the line and we need to drown it out. Or get the voice to change its stripes. Like, instead of what about that bottle of wine in the fridge, how many days til you can have a glass or two (or)... Switch to how many days til it feels okay to work out and think about what we want to do with the garden and the patio for the fall. And how many pounds will I lose if I go off sugar now that I'm off AL?

I'm taking glutamine in my AM protein shake and it seems to be quashing the appetite somewhat. The need to stuff my face at least is gone and I think I took too many vitamins because my stomach is upset or else its the AB.

Does anyone have stomach upset on AB? I'm excited that I can start my apple cider vinegar routine again once my stomach stops hurting from the AL abuse, and it will help with the indigestion and I'll be able to sleep on my stomach again with out reflux!

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

hey Bruun! Good to hear from you! Take the AB, take the AB!! Yes, it did upset my tummy the first few days, go figure! But it is all good now!

I have lost 4 pounds in the week that I have not been drinking, if that giveS you any motivation!!

Oh, and Bruun, btw, TAKE THE AB EVERYDAY!!!

Going to tackle the smoking very soon, too!! Like tomorrow...I have what's left in my pack and that is it. I told my son I would quit for his birthday. So, another promise I am not going to break. So all this good I am feeling from not drinking is soon to be evened out by not smoking. In the long run, it will all be worth it!! I will keep repeating that in my head!!

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hey Taw,

Its so great to hear you so upbeat and feeling well. Isn't that what we all want!? YES!

Another SE of AB is the tiredness. It's 4pm here and I want to take a nap badly. And I have a headache.

I am planning on taking half doses in the future, I can't afford this fatigue and also half a tab will keep me from drinking. I drank once the day after taking half a tablet and I turned beet red and felt hard to breathe. I won't do that again.

How was your day today? I love hearing about your son's reactions! Talk about a motivator.

Good to hear bout the weightloss.

[redhead77]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hello Taw,

Just checking in and giving my support. Did you quit smoking today too? Not that I think you should push that too hard. It's really tough to quit everything at once or close to it. But I suppose sometimes we are just ready...whatever the substance is. When is your son's actual birthday?

I've had a drunk mother and I've been the drunk mother. It's sheer horror that unfolds when you become the person you promised yourself you'd never be, because it hurt you so much.

Thank goodness we can get better, T. Sending much love to you girl. :l

[Destiniey]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hi everyone! I finally went to the doctors today after realizing that I couldn't remain AF on my own! My doctor wrote me a script for Antabuse..I am assuming that is what you refer to as "AB". The pharmacy didn't have it in stock and had to order it so I can pick it up tomorrow after 2 PM. I really feel that just taking away any option of even having a sip of AL is going to be a HUGE help. I have never been on anything like this...but then again I never thought I would be in my doctors office discussing my problems with AL.....ugh! I would love to hear about everyone's experiences with AB. Does anyone still take the L-Glut and Kudzu in the beginning or is the AB enough?

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hi Dest! Good for you on getting the Antabuse (AB)! It has done wonders with me. I have been going back and forth with all the different meds for 2 1/2 yrs. Finally realized modding is not for me. I cannot drink at all and AB is what has gotten me there for now. I am beginning day 10 AF today which is the longest I have had since I was pregnant or in rehab 3 1/2 yrs ago! The AB can upset your stomach a bit, or make you kind of sleepy, but that will pass. If it is really bad, others have taken just half a pill! Good Luck, Dest and keep us posted!

Red, thanks for the support and checking in and yes I am second guessing the smoking thing too, but his birthday is Saturday and even tho he will be with his dad, I want to be smoke free for him...air out the house and car and have him come home Monday with no signs of smoking...I don't ususally smoke in the house but there is always that lingering scent, ya know? So if it gets to hard and is a choice between smoking and drinking, I will most def smoke instead of taking a drink. Anyway, 10 days on AB and I will not be able to drink for a while!

Brunn, did you take your AB today?????

Best to all today!!!

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Warning....bit of a pity party.....

So, I think my pink cloud has burst!! I WANT A DRINK! But I know I can't since I have taken AB 11 days in a row! I was reading on a different thread how the universe is out of whack because I am not drinking....this is me. I am a drunk. Have been for 25 years. One sip would make it all better right now...the weight of the world off my shoulders. What do I do with all the stress and pain now that I can't drink? Quitting smoking lasted about 14 hours so I am back to smoking but it is not the same.

I have been busting my butt for the last 5 years since my ex moved out to rebuild my credit and work towards getting my forecloure off my record (will be in November) and I applied for a loan today to try and buy a house to get out of the hell hole I live in with my son and altho my credit is really good, I have all these black marks still on my credit report from my ex that I have to pay off in order to get them off. Had I know they were there I would have been paying them off the whole time. But no, just found out about them now. To the tune of $13K!!! Where the heck am I going to pull that out of?????

ARGH!!!!!!! So I am reading a lot about gabapentin on the threads. I have some. 300 mg capsules. I took one a litlle over a week ago and did not like the way it made me feel. Perhaps another go at it is in order because I feel like I am going to SNAP!!! Other than the AB I am only taking 10mg of Prozac every other day. Maybe I should up that? I don't know....I don't know where this all came from...Don't get me wrong, I love waking up in the morning not feeling like shit, remembering everything that happened the night before, remembering my dreams...is there a reason for me to be an alcoholic? If so, what? Why didn't the bac work for me? Is my brain that messed up that I cannot see how lucky I am to be sitting here being able to type this, 11 days AF, when so many others are still struggling???

I guess I am really just feeling sorry for myself. And I am sorry if this has upset anyone. I do realize how lucky I am. First response to EVERYTHING good bad or indiffernet has been to reach for the bottle. Now, I need to find a new response...retrain my brain.

Ok, pity party over!! But if someone could chime in on the gabapentin, I would very much appreciate it. :h Maybe it is just the addition I need to help me thru this!!!

Hope everyone is doing well, and again I apologize if this upset anyone!!

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Taw, you can do anything in the world you want for the next 10 minutes. You can go for a walk or smoke a cigarette, you can do jumping jacks then make a pot of coffee. You can go on the AA website and find the next meeting, then go or just think about going. Curling up on the floor in the corner and crying, and figuring out how to actually crawl out of your skin might help too, or get into bed or the bath or wherever and masturbate. Anything to change the shit going on in your head. You've got 11 AF days behind you but today's the one that matters. When you feel like this get through the next 10 minutes and you can get through the day.

Encouragement, love, a smack in the back of the head, shoulder to cry on, whatever you need, we're here.

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Oh, that's right, I see you bumped the 'pentin thread. I've taken 300 mg a couple of times before bed, to try to sleep and avoid the sleep-panic I get. Not sure if it worked, but I've never taken 1 and tried to stay awake. My doc told me to take 1-2 before bed. So it's probably safe to take 600 mg all at once to see if that does anything. I'm not a doctor, of course.

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Thanks Stuck! I am such an idiot though....I ate something more than crackers or pretzels and feel a whole helluva lot better! I am a nutritional dummy....I don't know how to eat until I am so hungry I feel like that! I need good food to keep at work and healthy foods and snacks that I can eat without worrying about gaining weight! God, the issues keep coming!!!

Note to self: eating makes me feel better!!!!

[Rusty]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hi Everybody,:wavin:

Taw,:l I have been thinking about you so much. I am proud of you for taking the AB.:goodjob: And 11 days, AF! WOW. :happy::yay: I thought of you just last week as I passed through your town on my way home. I felt the same way you did when I quit drinking....like I was going to crawl right out of my skin. Just do anything you can to take your mind off booze....go for a walk, EAT, yes, eat.....something healthy....protein....fresh veggies, etc. Your body is starving for nutrition. I used to think that thought was a lot of BS but my doc confirmed in my blood work a few years ago that I was deficient in Vitamins D, E, and Folic Acid....and it's because I had been eating crap food for 3 years....in my attempts to avoid a hangover, I would eat pizza after an afternoon of drinking hard booze. Or....hungover in the morning and desperate to feel better, I would eat a greasy breakfast sandwich. When I started eating healthy foods, I found my cravings to be much less. Don't fret about being hungry. It's a good thing ;-)

Also, this is key....change your routine. I was always a morning workout person, but then I changed from a morning workout to an evening one. My workouts replaced my late afternoon cocktail hours. I also found that after a hard workout, that my thirst for AL was little to none.

I'm proud of you, Taw. Keep up the good work.

Hi, Bruun!

xoxox

Rusty