Giving up....in a good way!

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

I have always had a problem with a "higher power", God, etc. That is part of the reason I think I struggled with AA. I have a tatoo of a Buddhist symbol that means "a higher power is always present." I have it where it is not always visible, so I know it is there, but I can't always see it...kind of like a higher power, or at least helps me to think of it that way. Just because I can't see it, does not mean it is not there.

Maybe with the AL cobwebs out of my head, I am having a little more faith, confidence, whatever. The dust particles on my computer monitor probably have more confidence than I ever had/have, but I can feel it slowly getting better. With each additional sober day, laughing with son over something silly, the little things, remembering things...I don't know. Not even sure any of this is making sense. This is where I get self conscious...especially when Ne, Stuck, Red, everyone else are so articulate in expressing themselves...Each day I grow a bit more confident in my ability to function and LIVE sober. I guess that confidence leads toward faith, too that I am making the next right decision, and maybe getting a push and a bit of guidence from something/someone/somebeing.

Hmm. From juicing to faith! We are all in this together!! I like that! :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Giving up....in a good way!

Me too, taw. And how do you think I feel with SLa showing up with his credentials teaching students half my age the things I'm studying? But I decided early on that if he's actually looking at the fact that I am completely unclear about where some punctuation goes (the period before or after the parentheses?) he can just bugger off. I like the guy but a woman has her limits.
I kid you not that I was googling grammar stuff when I posted on his thread. I'm sure if he cared to notice he would see the difference between then and now.

We each have our gifts that we bring to this roller coaster/life raft. I am so glad you're posting regularly and sharing your journey. It moves me and makes me think--everything from my own diet to your son's laughter...And juicers. And Girl ED.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Giving up....in a good way!

And Space, you're a riot. Let's find out if Lovelife is wearing some clothes before we start taking direction...or dictation.

Now I want a teacher's hat AND an emperor's scepter. Or whatever it is that emperors carry. Not ermine though. That would make me sad.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Giving up....in a good way!

Then again, maybe they're yummy.

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Ahhhh, I needed that! Thanks, Ne! What is with the guys here posting while not clothed? Instant AC for Stuck, but M??? I guess that is just normal for him! How soon I forgot!!

[spacebebe01]

Giving up....in a good way!

Oh Im getting all cold and shivery just thinking about sitting here naked posting on here. Im cold to begin with. Windy says her mum plays solitaire naked, I dont know what my sons would do ifthey walked in the room and Im just sitting there in my birthday suit, like Hi You ok?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Giving up....in a good way!

:H:H

If I didn't think it would send them into therapy, Space, I'd say Try IT! 'cause that's funny!!!

One of my girlfriends has two teenage sons who literally begged her to start wearing clothes. She was completely confused by their desperation. Apparently one of them had a friend over and she was walking around in a tshirt and underwear, no pants. And at any given time of day she is likely to disrobe because it's more comfortable. She clearly did not grow up in the uptight puritan America I did. I don't even like it when Ed walks around in his boxers. Really. (I know. What can I say? I'm a product of my culture. I went to a French island once and could barely take it! A man took off his swim trunks right in the parking lot and changed!!! OMG! Could he not tell that I did NOT want to see his parts??? :H)

[taw]

Giving up....in a good way!

Yea, clothes are good!! I forgot about Windy's mom and her naked Solitare! Wow! How does one even begin...Oh, nevermind! To each his/her own!! I would prefer a 1920's full covered swimsuit with just my feet and ankles sticking out! Altho, that too would probably send my son into even more therapy!!

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

taw;1361191 wrote: I have always had a problem with a "higher power", God, etc. That is part of the reason I think I struggled with AA. I have a tatoo of a Buddhist symbol that means "a higher power is always present." I have it where it is not always visible, so I know it is there, but I can't always see it...kind of like a higher power, or at least helps me to think of it that way. Just because I can't see it, does not mean it is not there.

The higher power idea was an issue for me too, the way its traditionally represented in organized religion repulsed me, but the basic teachings actually feel true to me. I believe that Buddha, Jesus, & Muhammad were all highly spiritual human beings (not gods) and their teachings represented similar values: love, serve, peace. For instance, Muslims believe that God is one and incomparable and the purpose of existence is to love and serve God (from Wikipedia). I believe God is that energy or spirit in us and around us. Serving each other is serving God.

spacebebe01;1361184 wrote: My mum always used to have a saying, it was "you'll have what you get and like it" which was pretty stupid, she still says that tho when someone gives me something I dont want, usually some of their old tat she will say to me you should be grateful to get anything at all. I dont know why I just wrote that something to do with IULL2 knowing whats best for the plebs.

Space, she has the right start to the idea but ends all negative. The start to the idea is "be happy with what you have" which is a learned skill versus what our commercial environment sells which is "desire what you don't have" not to mention mortgage your heart for it.

What is "tat"? :bust: Tit for tat!

ifulovelife2;1361144 wrote:
If you can't think of any huge, magnificent, achievements or decisions you've made (and I bet there are actually some), then think of all the little things you've managed (and even manage regularly) and add them together. Think of them as victories, each of which empower you and enable your faith in self.

For instance: did you manage to go to work today? Did you want to slap your boss across his stupid face but didn't? You could so easily go off the rails completely (more so than you may think you already have) but you don't. That's an achievement in itself. You should pat yourself on the back for that.

M, I'm so impressed with this side of you, no mention of sex or male body parts and great insights into the meaning and a survival guide for life itself. Thank you! I'm sure you'll respond with a knob reference but oh well, you can't win them all. Or can you, depending on how you look at them?

[spacebebe01]

Giving up....in a good way!

My mum used to come in from work and sit in her underskirt and bra, I hated it but she couldnt understand what the problem was, she would say Im not showing anything, you see more on the beach, yes mum but thats the beach in Spain, not our living room with my first boyfriend about to visit. Im glad to say she has stopped doing that tho.

[redhead77]

Giving up....in a good way!

ifulovelife2;1361020 wrote: sorry i cant quote. red. the livng in the moment and worrying about the future thing. of course its important to be concerned about how what we do and say today may effect tomorrow. theres nothing wrong with that. but sometimes you just have to have a little faith. faith in god or a higher power sure bt mostly faith in yourself your own intelligence and intuition. faith in the knowledge that you wouldnt have allowed a siuation to occur or invited a person into your life if you didnt think it would be right. you have to have faith that you are strong and capable enough to cotnue to influence the future as you go along. there is no situation which occurrs now that will have a definite and unalterable oucome in the future. everything can be altered improved or even cancelled in the future as things become clearer.

so if you have faith in yourself and your own power then you can relax in the knowledge that its ok to enjoy the now.
The truth is, I haven't been walking with my higher power in a while. I've been doing a half-assed job. I do have faith in my intuition and myself, I just sometimes forget. Thanks for reminding me, Mx. I have to mention, though, this is coming from someone whose sig is "Life is unpredictable so eat dessert first." :H We are two different animals in how we approach life.

taw;1361191 wrote: Maybe with the AL cobwebs out of my head, I am having a little more faith, confidence, whatever. The dust particles on my computer monitor probably have more confidence than I ever had/have, but I can feel it slowly getting better. With each additional sober day, laughing with son over something silly, the little things, remembering things...I don't know. Not even sure any of this is making sense. This is where I get self conscious...especially when Ne, Stuck, Red, everyone else are so articulate in expressing themselves...Each day I grow a bit more confident in my ability to function and LIVE sober. I guess that confidence leads toward faith, too that I am making the next right decision, and maybe getting a push and a bit of guidence from something/someone/somebeing.

Hmm. From juicing to faith! We are all in this together!! I like that!

I had to laugh when you wrote that everyone else is so articulate in expressing themselves and included me. I never feel that way! Quite the opposite, I feel very self conscious when writing here. But I do feel such joy when I read what you write, and see how you're growing and trying to change. It makes me want to be better too. It makes me tuck away my self consciousness and jump aboard. I want to be part of it, and you make me comfortable doing so. Thanks for that, T.

Hi Bebe! :l Sending a great big hug to you.

I got married in Jamaica at this lovely resort. I was aware there was a clothing optional beach when I picked the place. I booked an ocean view room overlooking the beach, but somehow missed that it was on the clothing optional side. We arrived in the room, and I opened the blinds to well...a knob or two. Whoa! I asked my soon to be husband if he wanted to move rooms. He was like, hell no! (there were naked breasts as well as knobs). He thought we should head on out there. I thought about it, really thought about it. I just couldn't do it. I had a baby 6 months prior, and really didn't feel comfortable getting naked on a beach at that point. Not to say I'd be comfortable now either. It would never happen! I'm envious of people who can do that, though.

[spacebebe01]

Giving up....in a good way!

Hmm, higher power, its not a term I like to use, too much association with 12 stepping for me but at the times I think about it it is there, and good to know. I do need to learn how to start enjoying the now tho.

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

redhead77;1361386 wrote:

Hi Bebe! :l Sending a great big hug to you.

I got married in Jamaica at this lovely resort. I was aware there was a clothing optional beach when I picked the place. I booked an ocean view room overlooking the beach, but somehow missed that it was on the clothing optional side. We arrived in the room, and I opened the blinds to well...a knob or two. Whoa! I asked my soon to be husband if he wanted to move rooms. He was like, hell no! (there were naked breasts as well as knobs). He thought we should head on out there. I thought about it, really thought about it. I just couldn't do it. I had a baby 6 months prior, and really didn't feel comfortable getting naked on a beach at that point. Not to say I'd be comfortable now either. It would never happen! I'm envious of people who can do that, though.

Me too!!!

[StuckinLA]

Giving up....in a good way!

Ne/Neva Eva;1361214 wrote: Now I want a teacher's hat AND an emperor's scepter. Or whatever it is that emperors carry. Not ermine though. That would make me sad.

I thought the branch thing with the berries that the ermine (really? Is that actually the name of an animal?) was holding was the scepter you were talking about. You could totally rock that scepter. Though there would be the inevitable twig n' berries jokes... OK, disregard. We'll find you a way better scepter.

And Taw, way to seamlessly, effortlessly, without anyone noticing, pivot your thread from juicers to faith.

[Bruunhilde]

Giving up....in a good way!

I didn't feel a quake! I'm 100 miles away tho.