Baclofen overdose, issues, and other scientific questions. Help is much appreciated
Wow. I am just going to ignore everything after your first post, Sirbishop. (your name makes me smile. What's up with that?) While I understand the reactions...I thought I'd just share a bit of my own experience.
When I read it yesterday my first thought was, "yeah. I really miss all that." :H
I didn't expect to get high on bac. I wasn't really even sure at the time what I was experiencing because I have never messed with drugs other than AL to know what that clarity was! And it was clarity, for sure. The insane little voices in my head telling me I am not good enough were gone. (Those voices are insane, peeps, and we all have them. Time for those undermining cretins to die, along with addiction!)
I could see for myself a future in which I could achieve what I wanted and needed to. But (and this is the HUGE difference, I think) I had to work for it and want it and focus on it and all that other hard stuff.
What I'm getting at is that it wasn't some sort of euphoric high in which I imagined that life would hand me gifts on a platter without any effort on my part. It just eliminated all of the kerfuffle that was a result of a lifetime of self-injury. (We all have those things, according to my therapist. It's perfectly normal for perfectly normal people to be consumed by self-doubt. Who knew? And how much does that suck???)
I can relate, too, to what you call OCD. I call it anxiety, and I didn't have it like that exactly. What I had (pre-bac) were irrational fears. I thought everyone had them. They're pretty much gone. My fears are (mostly) rational now. (I am not ridiculously afraid of spiders anymore. That doesn't mean I like them or will share my space with them! It just means I can be within 10 feet without having a crushing physical and emotional response to them.)
There's more to it. Much more! But I won't delve into all of it right now for lack of time. In brief: Compassion and empathy I have never before experienced and haven't since then. Energy! (And this indicated to me that what I was experiencing wasn't normal and wouldn't last. Four hours of sleep and short naps, with energy to accomplish EVERYTHING on the to-do list--and more--isn't sustainable. I knew that! Doesn't mean I didn't like it!)
Also like you, I knew that I didn't want to live in a place that might be drug-induced. And I titrated down a bit. Then back up! And then down. And then up! And now just take the pills to do what medicine intended them for. Sort of.
and :H (I wasn't looking for a high. I was looking for a comfortable place to be content and normal. Whatever the hell that is.)
It took months for me to get to that place, not a day. And it lasted a while longer. I've never let go of those feelings because they were true and real. Self doubt and fear and insecurity are just about the only things that hold (me/us/humans?) back from truth and freedom and...everything.
Since then, I've only experienced that clarity in moments, not days. Mostly it's a result of meditation, or some interaction with another human being. (Compassion, I think, and connection, move the world into a whole new dimension. But now I'm getting all hippy-chick on you and I don't want to digress! :H But while I'm completely digressing, sex! It's a whole new world!!!
And not because I'm high, or my husband is. Just the opposite.)
Oh, and btw, it's not just the two of us! There are plenty of reports around here related to this. Hypomania, I think it's called. Not sure, though. And I think that for many of us it's related to quitting alcohol. It didn't happen for me at my highest dose of baclofen. It happened a couple of weeks AFTER that, after I'd titrated down pretty significantly. Who knows why? The brain is a mysterious thing.
So let's have a mulligan here, shall we? I think that's the play in football when someone calls a time out and everyone lines up and shakes hands and does the play all over again.
It's dawn here in Virginia. There's a big storm over the ocean that is shooting down lightening and tinting the sky magenta. But it's in the distance, in a corner of the horizon. Where I'm sitting it's clear, the sun is rising over the trees on a brand new day full of brand new opportunities.
Sounds to me like a pretty apt metaphor for this whole thing...
Hang in there. Come back and post please. You can use a new username if that would make you more comfortable.
Wow. I am just going to ignore everything after your first post, Sirbishop. (your name makes me smile. What's up with that?) While I understand the reactions...I thought I'd just share a bit of my own experience.
When I read it yesterday my first thought was, "yeah. I really miss all that." :H
I didn't expect to get high on bac. I wasn't really even sure at the time what I was experiencing because I have never messed with drugs other than AL to know what that clarity was! And it was clarity, for sure. The insane little voices in my head telling me I am not good enough were gone. (Those voices are insane, peeps, and we all have them. Time for those undermining cretins to die, along with addiction!)
I could see for myself a future in which I could achieve what I wanted and needed to. But (and this is the HUGE difference, I think) I had to work for it and want it and focus on it and all that other hard stuff.
What I'm getting at is that it wasn't some sort of euphoric high in which I imagined that life would hand me gifts on a platter without any effort on my part. It just eliminated all of the kerfuffle that was a result of a lifetime of self-injury. (We all have those things, according to my therapist. It's perfectly normal for perfectly normal people to be consumed by self-doubt. Who knew? And how much does that suck???)
I can relate, too, to what you call OCD. I call it anxiety, and I didn't have it like that exactly. What I had (pre-bac) were irrational fears. I thought everyone had them. They're pretty much gone. My fears are (mostly) rational now. (I am not ridiculously afraid of spiders anymore. That doesn't mean I like them or will share my space with them! It just means I can be within 10 feet without having a crushing physical and emotional response to them.)
There's more to it. Much more! But I won't delve into all of it right now for lack of time. In brief: Compassion and empathy I have never before experienced and haven't since then. Energy! (And this indicated to me that what I was experiencing wasn't normal and wouldn't last. Four hours of sleep and short naps, with energy to accomplish EVERYTHING on the to-do list--and more--isn't sustainable. I knew that! Doesn't mean I didn't like it!)
Also like you, I knew that I didn't want to live in a place that might be drug-induced. And I titrated down a bit. Then back up! And then down. And then up! And now just take the pills to do what medicine intended them for. Sort of.
and :H (I wasn't looking for a high. I was looking for a comfortable place to be content and normal. Whatever the hell that is.) It took months for me to get to that place, not a day. And it lasted a while longer. I've never let go of those feelings because they were true and real. Self doubt and fear and insecurity are just about the only things that hold (me/us/humans?) back from truth and freedom and...everything.
Since then, I've only experienced that clarity in moments, not days. Mostly it's a result of meditation, or some interaction with another human being. (Compassion, I think, and connection, move the world into a whole new dimension. But now I'm getting all hippy-chick on you and I don't want to digress! :H But while I'm completely digressing, sex! It's a whole new world!!!
And not because I'm high, or my husband is. Just the opposite.) Oh, and btw, it's not just the two of us! There are plenty of reports around here related to this. Hypomania, I think it's called. Not sure, though. And I think that for many of us it's related to quitting alcohol. It didn't happen for me at my highest dose of baclofen. It happened a couple of weeks AFTER that, after I'd titrated down pretty significantly. Who knows why? The brain is a mysterious thing.
So let's have a mulligan here, shall we? I think that's the play in football when someone calls a time out and everyone lines up and shakes hands and does the play all over again.
It's dawn here in Virginia. There's a big storm over the ocean that is shooting down lightening and tinting the sky magenta. But it's in the distance, in a corner of the horizon. Where I'm sitting it's clear, the sun is rising over the trees on a brand new day full of brand new opportunities.
Sounds to me like a pretty apt metaphor for this whole thing...
Hang in there. Come back and post please. You can use a new username if that would make you more comfortable.
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