Here is the good news about my progress. Less drinking due to BAC it has been rather effortless. Before BAC the sirens call would be deafening if I even just thought about not drinking myself into a coma on any given day. I am currently about 45 days into my titration. I am up to 125mgs in 5x25mg doses. I wish I didn't have to spread it out like that but the SEs seem way more intense if I bunch it up. I hands down absolutely notice a huge difference in my indifference (if that makes any sense). I can drink a few beers and call it a night. Before I would drink a case and pass out and make sure I had a beer on the night stand in case I woke up and needed another gulp or two. I also notice my dreams are getting extremely lucid. I wake up thinking my dreams were real. Perhaps it is because I haven't dreamed in so long because I used to pass out every night. Also I am loosing my beer belly! I am extremely active with running and crossfit but could never get rid of the spare tire! Guess what! It is finally quickly going away! Six pack here we come baby!
The down side of my progress is. The side effects though are annoying. I am constantly sleepy. All I want to do during the day is take a nap. I have never taken naps. Sometimes I will sleep when I get home from work until 9pm and be delirious the rest of the night. I am really spacey too. I constantly leave the house without my keys and wallet. And driving makes me a little nervous. I am also constantly pondering what will happen when I reach my switch. Can I titrate down so I don't have to constantly fight these SEs? Coffee doesn't really help me anymore either. I used to drink it like crazy to fend off the grogginess of the previous nights drinking. Now when I buy coffee it sits there and gets cold. It is almost like the BAC is taming my craving for caffeine too. Plus I can drink a Vente Starbucks then take a nap and snooze like a baby. Have any of you coffee drinkers noticed the reduced craving and effect of caffeine?
On another note as I am lifting out of the alcohol fog that I have lived in for so many years I am really starting to feel the burden of dealing with the train wreck alcohol has made of my life. It is time to stop partying so much so I am trying to occupy my time elsewhere but I spend a lot of time dwelling on the past and trying not to slide into a depression. When I hang out with friends now it is much more work for me to be engaged. I find my self not paying attention to the conversations and getting bored or zoned out. I have been going to a Zen Center every week to do meditation but idk if it is really helping much. I suppose I just need to hold onto the reigns and trust I will see better days when I am completely AL free soon. I also hope with some considerable AL free time under my belt I can ween way down or even off BAC. I don't really care much for the idea of staying medicated for the rest of my life. Although as much as I have searched I haven't found many posts about people sucessfully accomplishing that. Thoughts?
Thanks for reading. Any advice would be much appreciated. I am going this pretty much alone. Nobody aside from two of my friends knows what I am attempting to do so I am really just kind of dumping this out there for a little support and encouragement. Thanks again, Helix..
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