I'm such a bum

[chaos]

I'm such a bum

The good ol' mirta is taking me away, goodnight!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I'm such a bum

Just in case you decide to delete it like you did so many other posts...
This is the thread in full.

So basically, you took baclofen, posting that you took it slowly (over 3 months) which is contradicted in a different thread. You took other medications as though they were sugar pills. The baclofen worked. Then it didn't? Then it did. Or something?

And you consider yourself to be in a position to offer advice, feedback, or any type of contribution at all, based on your inability to use the medication(s)?

It must suck to still be drunk and miserable. Spreading your misery, your inability to get well, by discouraging or harassing others, is completely outrageous. I hope you get help and find a way out. In the meantime, I hope you go away.

chaos;1379613 wrote: The good ol' mirta is taking me away, goodnight!

chaos;1379590 wrote: 20 oz of vodka and not feeling any buzz...that's unheard of

jbkhy523;1376465 wrote: yep, i hate the snoring part - my neighbors are pissed, i am sure... also waking up in a pool of sweat(ed out alc.) and another load of laundry is never fun.

chaos;1375880 wrote: Hi JB, in terms of SE the only one I experience is excessive snoring, and sometimes like sudden changes of body temperature.

Again, I follow the 'easy does it' type of route...took me several months to get to my current 130mg/day dose.

jbkhy523;1375865 wrote: @chaos: that is an interesting method! i may experiment with that as far as 50,60, or 70 coupled with a shot. if it takes away my desire for the rest of the day, mission accomplished!

chaos;1375859 wrote: Upon awakening decided to increase my morning dose of bac by 10mg (50mg total) coupled by small shot of vodka. Three hours later feel no need of drinking anymore. There is somewhat slight desire to go and by some, but only motivated by the fact that I'm home alone this weekend on the other hand I simply feel to lazy to do so. Anyhow unfrigginbelievable!

StuckinLA;1375678 wrote: I know you want to hit indifference really quickly. But it very rarely works like that. It's not a race.

If you have to think of it like a race, be the tortoise. He's the one who wins anyway.

Hang in there you two.

jbkhy523;1375620 wrote: *crickets*

jbkhy523;1374828 wrote: @StuckinLA: i'm not so sure about your conspiracy theory. i can tell you this: i have no idea who that other user of the "2" you speak of is. i think we are all excited for the prospect of "indifference" and titrate up fast to speed up the process. at 180/d and (i have had a random 220 and 240 day) the other day after drinking FAR too much (that had to be a big part of it), i had a massive anxiety attack and it freaked me out. i haven't drank for 4 days now, -not one drop- but have had 2 x 30mg doses ea (60 total) and have not felt like drinking (it scared the crap out of me.)

StuckinLA;1373780 wrote: So I want to be super supportive, and helpful, and I want everyone here to find their way out.

But what's going on with you 2? And what's really going on with this thread?

You guys are giving no doses, no titration schedules. You're giving no details. More importantly, you're not reaching out and you're not participating. You aren't even asking for help. You just pop in every so often with some tragedy about drinking too much, or a weird SE, you both kind of freak out for a second, and then disappear.

Now you both start bringing up benzos out of the blue.

To put it plainly, I no longer believe this is a real thread. I believe this is a made up "dialogue" between two usernames, who are quite possibly the same person, and I believe the ultimate aim of this thread is to show a fictitious crash and burn on bac and benzos. I believe this thread will then be used as "evidence" later on in a much larger "discussion"--a discussion that does not need to happen because the whole benzo "debate" is a made up issue, perpetuated by a few usernames.

If I am wrong, and either or both of you are looking for help, please PM me because I will no longer be reading this thread.

If either or both of you are real, you are nevertheless treating bac very carelessly, from what little of it I can see. The information you need is right here, but it seems you refuse to take advantage of it. If you are real, I wish both of you way more than luck.

~Stuck

chaos;1373746 wrote: O man I was such a chaos this morning literrally sweating buckets, 5mg of valium felt like pure placebo/sugar pill, coupled by another 5mg an hour later finally made a dent.

Benzos are such life saving meds, but I take them when absolutely nessesary only. The last thing on earth I would want my body/mind to buld a tolerance for them.

jbkhy523;1373609 wrote: ok, maybe i am titrating up too fast. I went up to 180/d and drank plenty - woke up with the worst anxiety ever - i def. wish i had a benzo, but theanine helps some

chaos;1373231 wrote: Thank God the loooong weekend is gone!

jbkhy523;1372858 wrote: that SE went away quickly - whew

jbkhy523;1372852 wrote: friends, i hope that i am near the switch cuz i am starting to see visual hallucinations when i close my eyes - looks like my android cellie minimizing a window

jbkhy523;1372822 wrote: hey friends, i am still awake and drinking stupid amounts of diluted vodka. the thing about bac (rewiring your brain) is that you slowly feel it, and know that it is the light at the end of the tunnel! the SE's are hell but i will make it there eventually (indifference)

chaos;1372794 wrote: Btw, where's JB and how are you doing mate?

StuckinLA;1372790 wrote: And try keeping people more up to date on what you're doing. How you're doing, how much bac, how much drinking, etc.

You and JB both. You guys are right around the same place and it would be really helpful.

chaos;1372753 wrote: Thanks Stuck, I got it!

StuckinLA;1372706 wrote: Just Keep Taking The God Damned Pills is what you do.

Get a notebook, get one of those weekly pill boxes. Take 10 minutes on Sunday evening (starting this evening) and sort out your pills for the whole week. If you're taking pills more than 4 times a day, get 2 pill boxes so you have 8 spots for each day.

You figure out your SEs. How quickly have you been going up? How have you handled it? And you figure out a schedule you can live with. So starting tonight you work out the pills so you're going up 10mg on Thursday.

Then you stop buying hard alcohol. That's a fair deal you can make with yourself. Stock every kitchen cabinet and dresser drawer in your house with beer if you want. Throw bags of ice and beers in the bathtub. Whatever.

But the very best way to drink right through the bac is with hard alcohol, in both my humble opinion and experience. So just try not doing that.

Or you bac down slowly and drink.

chaos;1372666 wrote: Things are no longer rosy...full blown relapse,,,don't know what to do

jbkhy523;1371906 wrote: wow, just a little tip i want to reinforce (it has been said before i'm sure) - definitely try to keep a log of at least dosages, if not also times... things can get a little sketchy!

chaos;1371344 wrote: Wow, this stuff really works. Another day after 5 or 6 oz serious debate if I need another ounce...this is just unheard of. I guess that Stuck hit the nail with the statement that bac rewires brain. (It's a lengty process though)

jbkhy523;1371049 wrote: thanks for clarifying bleep!

bleep;1371017 wrote: Not at all, in fact you went on to nail exactly what I meant later in your post. I also think that spiking it makes it easier, but I don't advocate it either, which is why I just sort of mumbled.

jbkhy523;1370722 wrote: you are a living example that it DOES and WILL work! thank you for taking the time to continue posting on this forum!
Ne/Neva Eva;1370720 wrote: yep.

jbkhy523;1370717 wrote: @ne: thank you! i know this med. will work - it just takes some time!

Ne/Neva Eva;1370713 wrote: Just to throw another thing in there...I weigh less than both of you and it took 320mg for me to get there. It takes what it takes...

But you'll get there!

jbkhy523;1370710 wrote: thank you stuckinla and chaos! i almost got the creepy feeling that bleep thinks i have ulterior motives or something.

the SEs have gone away in a major way... i don't advocate it (i am not a doctor) but, it's almost like i 'spiked' my brain with higher doses and then followed the next day with medium doses.

chaos;1370708 wrote: I'm not so sure about the idea: "lower on the morning dose, and then crank it into the night." The snoring is definately bac related, and the rest of those SE that you experience may be also related to nightly bac overdose..?

StuckinLA;1370700 wrote: Dr L, from what I can remember, says to take the largest dose at night. But 'largest' in that case isn't much larger than the others. Equal doses every 5-6 hours worked well up to about 200.

Also, & I hate to be the Mother Hen here, but when you look at the liquor cabinet, try thinking 'you know, I really am doing all of this to try to cut back on my drinking...' It's great that bac does the work for us eventually, and you can go ahead and drink right up to the switch, but you will save yourself a lot of misery by cutting back on your own a little, too. Kinda meeting bac 1/2way.

Or not, it really is up to you. But yeah, I would offer more equal doses as a suggestion. Also for what it's worth: Dr L is adamant about taking the last dose EXACTLY 3 hours before bed. Never made a damned bit of difference for me, but hey, I'm not a doctor.

jbkhy523;1370680 wrote: @chaos: i agree with the slow titration route but am so torn with wanting to seriously slow down my drinking. i figure... i am a bigger, heavier guy and i would naturally need more mgs than a smaller person. i have had some SEs (possibly from going up to fast), but it's weird - it's almost like my brain/body dealt with it. (x10) i have snored like a pig (that woke me up), woke up in a pool of sweat, had vivid nightmares (in a trippy, partial subconciousness state of mind), had auditory hallucinations (that i determined were absolutely not real).

with all that being said, i think my brain neurotransmitters are starting to normalize.

i def. agree with a lot of posts that say lower on the morning dose, and then crank it up into the night.

ya know what? i will absolutely go through these SEs to try and conquer the LIVING HELL that is drinking too much!

chaos;1370674 wrote: One more thing JB, apparently bac dose is subject to body mass and I weight less than 145 lbs

chaos;1370669 wrote: JB, I'm following the "easy does it type of route" started monts ago with very slow titration/ currently at 120mg/day divided in 3 equal (40mg) doses...only SE I wake up around 3 am every night with increased pulse (possibly onset of bac w/d) cause I take my last dose around 5 pm.
The reasoning I try not to aggravate my sleep apnea that bac is known to contibute to.

christyacc;1370654 wrote: I have gone on and off bac so often it's insane. I can't even tell you why. I am guessing it was the SE's. Sonyou're saying that if I just keep going I will stop? I will jump in again with both feet. I am lucky to have a script from my doc.

Has anyone complained of any weight gain? From the bac not the booze, lol.

jbkhy523;1370651 wrote: @chaos: awesome - please tell me how long/doseage you titrated up

chaos;1370650 wrote: Guess there's light at the end of the tunnel after all. For the past couple of days I don't find the necessity to drink more than 7oz of hard liquor - that is so below my norm.

jbkhy523;1369995 wrote: am i mistaken, or did Dr. A titrate up rather quickly?

bleep;1369906 wrote: Hmmm.

jbkhy523;1369851 wrote: you are right stuckinla. i must be feeling a little overzealous.

StuckinLA;1369678 wrote: Mmm. Perhaps not the best idea to try to do it all tonight, JB. Maybe space it out over the next couple of months.

jbkhy523;1369665 wrote: imagonna push for the switch - just did a bottle of diluted vodka and now having beers - 190mg of bac in me so far

something i have learned in the journey - the initial side effects while you titrate up go away (which is nice, of course)

jbkhy523;1369210 wrote: "Hang in, guys. Keep Taking The Goddamned Pills."

"It definitely feels like my brain chemistry is being adjusted through this medication. Like right now, I have had a terrible day and that voice that normally tells me to get drunk and forget about it is quiet ... and there is a new part of me that is saying, nah, don't really even care to do that. I think a part of it is that the bac sort of spaces you out and the crap in your life just doesn't seem so terrible anymore."

Thx guys, and i abs. agree!

ryrye;1369191 wrote: It definitely feels like my brain chemistry is being adjusted through this medication. Like right now, I have had a terrible day and that voice that normally tells me to get drunk and forget about it is quiet ... and there is a new part of me that is saying, nah, don't really even care to do that. I think a part of it is that the bac sort of spaces you out and the crap in your life just doesn't seem so terrible anymore.quote>

StuckinLA;1369148 wrote: Oh man, I hear you. I hate all those mornings that I didn't even know the smell was coming off of me. I would think I was fine, until somebody would tell me I made the whole room smell like a dirty bar.

Hang in, guys. Keep Taking The Goddamned Pills.

And you can drink the whole way, doesn't matter. The hangovers can be really brutal, though. And I'm going to share some words of wisdom that I recently received:

You are changing your brain chemistry. You're becoming a "normal" person. And guess what? Normal people don't like feeling drunk--that's why they don't get drunk very often.

I know I know, weird, right? Like, I've never seen these mythical people, not once in my life! Oh, that's right, because I haven't set foot outside a bar in like 15 years... So if you start getting this nagging voice in your head, and it's telling you you don't really want that next drink--it feels very strange, but try going with that. Just give it a try. Your body will thank you in the morning.

Or, if not, don't worry because you can still pour the next drink in a few minutes. Doesn't really matter either way.

jbkhy523;1369140 wrote: @ryrye: true! it is a shitty way to live - i hate when i sweat and it comes out of my pores the next day!

ryrye;1369137 wrote: Im at 200 and just starting to see good results ... hang in there man, don't loose hope. Being a drunk is a pretty shitty way to live.

jbkhy523;1369085 wrote: thanks bleep!

bleep;1369075 wrote: I got to about 200 before I felt anything at all, and it has worked better than I could ever have hoped for.

The numbers are meaningless, just take it until you stop drinking.

jbkhy523;1369068 wrote: hi stuckinla,

i wonder, are the SEs easier going and do i reach my goal of being indifferent faster if i don't drink?

i would give anything to be a person that can have a few beers and call it a night!

jbkhy523;1368861 wrote: hey man, i'm here - eff this shit... i just upped to 160mg - lets see what my body/mind thinks of that

StuckinLA;1368904 wrote: Keep hanging in there, guys. Watch out for one thing, though, and it's pretty scary the first time it happens: there's going to come a point when you don't necessarily want the next drink. It'll freak you out, but it's OK.

You don't have to listen to that voice right away, but sooner or later give not pouring the next one a try and see how it goes.

JB--you might be getting closer to that? How are you feeling?

Chaos--try not to stress over the visuals, it happens. Anything else going on?

Some people kinda like the stoned feeling, the trippy-head thing... anyway, let us know how you're doing. I'm trying to be around.

chaos;1368854 wrote: Thanks alot for the support..what a joke

chaos;1368717 wrote: Holly something, closed eye visuals not AL wd related, hope I'm turning the corner

jbkhy523;1368419 wrote: thanks ne! it gives me hope!

Ne/Neva Eva;1367934 wrote: Morning (for me, on the U.S. east coast)!

It just takes what it takes. I drank for four months, all the way up to 320mg. (Though at the end there I had to work at it in order to be able to choke it down! :H It's what I did, and I was loathe to give it up.) I've been happily indifferent to alcohol for about (let me see) 18 months.

Hang in there. It works.

jbkhy523;1367747 wrote: wanted to sub this thread (made an account just for this), 140mg so far and still drinking

COSGringo;1367736 wrote: Hang in there, takes time.

Watch out for a lurker around here. You'll know it when he chimes in.
StuckinLA;1367730 wrote: Nah. 110's not enough to keep you sober. I drank right through to 200, some folks drank plenty higher than that.

Stick with it. The bac, I mean. And the booze if you want but that's up to you.

chaos;1367727 wrote: 110 mg of bac with very slow titration regimen plus 25mg of topa and and still so drunk that I can hardly type

[jbkhy523]

I'm such a bum

i figured i'd update because i posted a lot in this thread. i'm doing great - baclofen changed my life! i will never go back to the way i was! i am currently taking 50 mg/day. (i know, pretty low - but i also use a little willpower.) i felt like drinking beer 3 weeks ago and had a six pack. haven't drank since.

[StuckinLA]

I'm such a bum

JB--that's awesome, and really glad to hear you made it. (Sorry for all my doubts back in the day.)

[jbkhy523]

I'm such a bum

it's cool. there are trolls on just about every forum. i am not one and baclofen works for me!

[JDizzle]

I'm such a bum

Weird turn of events here. I am new and just read the whole post. I realized about half way through it was from 2012 and I was bummed cause I thought they prob aren't around anymore. It was so cool to see an update from yesterday. Stuck you had written they were treating bac carelessly (not trying to bring up old shit ). How do u get information on what is not careless? No one really seems to have an answer on what a correct or suggested titration is. No one really seems to define a "switch"..... Aside from man I hit my switch and I'm all good. Wonderful....wtf is a switch? I could prob tell u what it is but how do u know? Once u hit it, how do u know what level to go down to?

My prob is I am not an everyday drinker. It's hard for me to tell if its working because I may just not feel like drinking today. Problem is I when I drink (usually once a week), there is a good chance I'll end up in jail, I will bring shame on my family somehow,.... U know what, I'm 100% alcoholic. I always feel life would be easier if I was the everyday variety drinker. Anyways, please help me. U all seem to have answers and I really need them. Also there is the issue of needing a secondary doctor. My dr gave me 60 mg a day 3 month supply. He will give me more but just 60 a day. The first 50 or so days, I was terrible with it. I'd take it, then get drunk and not take it. I decided to try harder so I started taking 120. I have been here for 3 days. I posted all this on another new thread but ....I don't know.....ur conversation here grabbed me. Anyways, thanks for the post here. And just keep in mind I know nothing about this. Please don't assume I will know simple inside lingo or acronyms. It took me a bit to figure out MWO when I was registering.

[StuckinLA]

I'm such a bum

I'm going to answer you on your thread, JD.

[john doe]

I'm such a bum

Strange. You post about there being mods on here and it gets deleted?

[learningtolovewinter]

I'm such a bum

Dizzle: when I first read your post I thought "My goodness, that isn't very nice!" Then I continued to read. This is a completely weird thread, you are right. Personally, when I see really whacky stuff here I just make a point of not reading posts with certain screen names. A far less disturbing approach I find. Otherwise I start to doubt why I would be involved with such a bizarre website? MWO has more good than bad to offer, right? Peace.

[chaos]

I'm such a bum

Don't you have anything better to do in your 'sober' time Karen than qoute one by one all of my posts from my thread that I wasn't going to delete....it must have been quite time consuming...

Btw, who's infamous of deleting own posts on this forum...Eva? :H

Ne, or is it Neva...how's the combo of xanax and adderal treating you these days?!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I'm such a bum

This is the message I sent to the moderator:

For how long and in how many ways are we going to have to put up with this person? The SOLE PURPOSE of Chaos' posts is to harass, to denigrate, to make others feel badly or ashamed.
I started a thread addressing this hoping that something would actually and finally be done about the posts. I received a private message from Roberta Jewell that these posts, and this person, were being watched. That doesn't seem to be the case if the posts are still present and the person is still posting. How can it possibly be productive to allow this person to keep posting?
Chaos has repeatedly attacked me and many other regulars with malicious lies. Chaos undermines people's attempts to use various treatments to get and stay sober. And again, uses lies or inflammatory information to do this. Or just malicious and repeated posts.

When is it going to stop? Why would you let a troll continue to post?

chaos;1508703 wrote: Don't you have anything better to do in your 'sober' time Karen than qoute one by one all of my posts from my thread that I wasn't going to delete....it must have been quite time consuming...

Btw, who's infamous of deleting own posts on this forum...Eva? :H

Ne, or is it Neva...how's the combo of xanax and adderal treating you these days?!

What I do in my sober time is to try to help others with accurate information, Chaos. I also attempt to help others with support for the difficult process that is taking baclofen to get sober.
What I don't do is respond to posts or attacks from someone who is clearly very ill. I honestly believe that people might be so vulnerable that what I write could be a metaphorical nail in a literal coffin.
I make this exception because I believe you are so toxic that continuing to ignore your very malicious, ill-informed and often lie-filled posts hurts other people who may not know you for what you are.
I cannot imagine the kind of mental illness that would compel you to actively seek to hurt other people. It makes me very sad for you. But that doesn't mean you should be allowed to continue unabated. I also cannot imagine why the administrators of this site haven't taken more direct action and banned you once and for all. Perhaps they too feel sorry for you. I wouldn't think it's reason enough for you to be allowed to stay and post what you do, though.
I understand that it is common for online forums to have trolls. That doesn't make it okay.

I am contentedly sober. I do not abuse other drugs. I hope some day you can say the same.