I had a really crappy day ... :mad:

[ryrye]

So, um today was really bad and I don't really have anybody to talk to about it, so i am just going to air out on here ...

Last night my girlfriend and I went to spend some time with friends. I had a few drinks, and she had a few also ... but I think she was sneaking drinks and ended up getting really drunk. I maybe had 4 beers or something. We crashed there for the night and drove home around noon. On the way, she wanted me to get more alcohol and i flat out refused to pay for it because i am trying to make my household alcohol free for the most part. She ended up getting really really angry and started hitting me while I was driving, it freaked me out and it could have easily caused an accident. I ended up pulling off of an offramp, where she continued to hit me. It was so bad that she ended up scratching my head and I had blood all over my face, it was awful! When I stopped the car to get out and get some space, a car pulls up and it just so happened to be an off duty sherrif. I decided at that point that I was just going to let the police take care of it, and they did. Long story short, she is in jail now for domestic violence and has a 50,000 bail, meaning that i am not going to be bailing her out any time soon. The whole experience was horrible and traumatizing ...

Here is the worst part. She blames me for her being in jail and she is pissed off. She said I should have just driven away and settled the situation on our own.

Ok this is all I can handle right now ... i am going to get some cigarettes and smoke my stress away. The voice telling me to drink is much louder right now :upset:

[playland]

I had a really crappy day ...

Oh Please Ry, at this point, smoke your stress away, don't give into drinking the stress away. I noticed your post as I was on my way to the "med thread" and it just caught my eye, so I'm thinking that your girlfriend was totally out of control and yes, of course it could have gotten you both in an accident and killed and other people as well, you should be very proud that you handled it so well, I know that you must be having such a difficult time right now knowing that she is in jail and blaming you, but please don't take that responsibility on: she is the one that needs to accept the responsibility and perhaps this will help her to do that, and if not, then at least you have done the best thing that you could in this situation.

Please stay strong, I know there will be other folk along here pretty soon who will be able to give you strength and resolve, and please just remember that people are here for you, just "KEEP POSTING", we will be here for you, don't give in to your girlfriends' demands, or alcohols' demands, just stay strong and peeps here will be here for you.

All the love and strength in the world to you, I will be thinking of you and sending good energy to you, "For Reals",
Play

[Kradle123]

I had a really crappy day ...

Hi Ryrye and :welcome:

You have had a hard last 2 days but I'm betting they haven't been your only ones with your girl friend.

I don't know your story but I do know mine and indo know that I have hit my husband I drunk fights and the reason he stayed was because when that happened (and that was a long time ago) we had a small child. I can assure you that made the Years of our marriage incredibly awful on many levels and my drinking didn't get better. He drinks normally. I'm 50 now with three kids and its been tough...if I'd known then what I know now sort of thing

If you have no children then you just dodged a bullet on 2 levels. You found help for her and you found help for you but IMO you guys need to go your separate ways. I know that sounds horrible and hard and of course I have no idea how invested you are in each other but...sounds like you are trying to escape in more ways than one :h

But whatever you decide, you are in a wonderful community for support and help. Stay close!
Hugs,
:l

[ryrye]

I had a really crappy day ...

so ... I ended up drinking a half pint. I just wanted anything to take away this awful dread i am feeling. I am sitting here in front of my computer, have eaten maybe 200 calories today and i am a wreck. I am sweating, and every time i wipe the sweat off, I feel the cuts on my head and it reminds me of what happened.

Thank you Cradle and Play ... It really means a lot to me that what you said. I am not sure where I want this relationship to go, but I am too strong to go down with this ship. I'll be alright, but I fear for her more than anything. I love having this forum to air my personal shit on to and I love all of you!

[playland]

I had a really crappy day ...

Ok Ry,
I'm in Calif also and so the same time zone, I'll be up for quite awhile, write and I'll be here for a couple of hours until I go to sleep, if I didn't have to work in the morning I would stay up later, so, hang in there, I know this is the worst time for you, just like Kradle I don't know all the details but it sounds like a difficult relationship, I don't know where you guys will go and I can't tell you where, but stay strong right now, this crises will pass, try to just get some sleep, this will pass, remember that, no matter what, it will pass, and the less that you let yourself get out of control the better you will be and her also.
I'm here.

I have a friend, I've asked him to check in with you but it might take a day or so.

love,
Play

[ryrye]

I had a really crappy day ...

im still here ... but im drunk. I got another half pint ... this is the worst situation i have had in a long time

[playland]

I had a really crappy day ...

How about getting something more to eat, soak up some of that AL. Now why are you freaking out so bad right now? Girlfriend is safe, you are safe at home, how about eat and go to bed and get some sleep and tomorrow will be a new day, maybe just give it up for tonight and try to get some sleep.

play

[StuckinLA]

I had a really crappy day ...

Hi Rye,

After all this, please don't go beating yourself up. There's been enough of that already, coming from a lot of different angles.

Tonight you can do what you gotta do. It's OK, and tomorrow's another day.

I'm also on California time, and I don't sleep all that well, so I'm around. Don't worry about posting drunk, it happens a lot.

Take care.

[mama bear]

I had a really crappy day ...

Oh RyRy
I am so sorry sweetie...I cannot imagine how awful you feel on so many levels.....but I think you did the right thing and maybe your GF can get some help now....

[ryrye]

I had a really crappy day ...

Well, I got through the night and I am feeling a little bit better about the whole situation. I am hoping that through this, she can get into a a rehab program through the court. I wont hold my breath, but I'll see if it can be done. It would probably do her well to have a structured environment where she would receive counseling for her anger issues, her eating disorder, and her inability to take care of things in her life right now.

My back story with this girl goes back to 2005 when i met her in San Diego. She just so happened to live close to me up north in the Central Valley and we started dating. She was a little crazy back then, but she managed to pull herself together for a while and with my help she managed to earn her Bachelors degree in Psychology. She then went into the masters program and was doing really well, but the stress of her school combined with my increasing issues with alcohol pushed her over the edge and she just snapped. She started drinking and all hell broke loose. One night when she was drinking, she asked our tweaker neighbor (at our appartment) if he could get some meth for her. She was off on the worst downward spiral I have ever seen anybody go on. She stopped going to school and would go on binge drinking episodes that should have killed most normal people.

One day, last August, she went missing on me and I was a wreck just wondering what could have happened to her. I called jails, hospitals and her friends. Finally i received a call from a police officer and found out that she had passed out drunk by the street near the appartment. This was her first hospital visit. Over the next couple of months, this happened maybe 3 more times. I just didn't know what to do, I was afraid every day that I would find her dead. One day, I was at work and I had a really bad feeling and that i needed to get home right away. I was right, because when I got home, I found her lying on the bed and there were pills thrown up all over the place. I decided to call an ambulance, and I am glad she did because one of the pills she had taken was metformin, a blood sugar regulating drug. I was told later that her blood sugar dropped to 50 while on the way to the hospital and that she would have likely died if I had waited much longer. At this point, I decided she could not live with me until she got herself together a bit.

After this, she moved into her mothers house for 3 weeks and then went to a 4 week rehab program. She seemed to be doing better, but then she met a guy there who she ended up running off with and they started doing meth together. 3 months later, she comes to me and begs to let her stay because she had nowhere to go ... I was hesitant, but i didn't want her to go on the streets, so I let her stay for a little bit. She actually seemed to be doing okay for a bit, but she had bad days and sometimes bad weeks. Now she has been living with me 4 months and the last month, she has actually been doing quite well for the most part. I was starting to get a bit hopeful that she would finally pull out of her funk.

This last year has been a really hard one. Seeing this girl fall from a high where she was taking care of herself, going to school and working part time as a tutor to someone who cant take care of even the most basic of things has been a heart wrenching experience. It makes me so mad that she has so much potential, but holds herself back by hanging on to her anger over things from the past.

[Kradle123]

I had a really crappy day ...

Hi Rye:

Just my humble opinion but There is no way on the planet you will get yourself healthy and sober if you continue to stay connected with this woman.

You might benefit from reading Melody Beatties 'Co Dependent No More." Trite I know but

:question2:....

Hugs,
:l

[ryrye]

I had a really crappy day ...

oh I know that I've been codependent and i don't intend on supporting her if she wants to keep being crazy like this. Right now I hope that either she will stay in jail for a little bit or even better would be if she can get sent to a rehab. If she looses my support, which is looking very likely, then she will be out on the streets because she has pushed away every other person in her life who might support her.

[Phin]

I had a really crappy day ...

Hugs xo

[ryrye]

I had a really crappy day ...

Things are looking up Had some communication with her and we were able to get her moved to a block where she felt safer (previous one, she had girls that wanted her to be their girlfriend), and she is okay with staying until her next court date next tuesday. I hope to god that they let her walk after that because me and her mother agreed to pay bail together if it strings out any longer. She also agreed to go to a rehab upon her release. It sounds like this may have been the thing she needed to get her ass in gear ...

once again, i am feeling hopeful