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    #1

    I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

    Hi everyone. Its been a couple of weeks since Ive been on here but Im having some issues and I was hoping to get some good advise. I had previously thought that I had reached indifference but I was mistaken. So I immediately began to tirate back up. My problem is that I've had a really hard time tirating past 210. The insomnia became so bad that I was up for almonst 5 days straight and I became so disoriented, began hearing things that I know werent there and I became so depressed that I began to have sucidal thoughts. I have always had a low tolerance to most medication and I always seem to have adverse affects to them as well. I also began to miss work because I couldnt function and I was afraid to drive. I realized that I needed to tirate down and Im currently at 175. I dont have any cravings for alcohol but Im still having a hard time thinking at work and the insomnia is still bad. Not like it was but still bad. I dont want to give up but its almost too much to deal with. I think I should try and go down to 150 and see how I feel but Im worried that the cravings are going to come back. Any input or advise would really be appreciated.

    Thanks
    :wings:Every day is another day to set things right!! Make today a new beginning, the first day of the rest of your life!:wings:

    Goals: to stay AF and to start to incorporate some sort of exercise into my daily routine!!!:wings:
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    #2
    I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

    Hi Amy - Just a quick note to tell you HANG IN THERE and be careful.

    I do not use Bac but I am CERTAIN someone will pop in soon to answer your concerns. Sorry, wish I had advice for you ... but hold on as it's coming.

    Comment

      #3
      I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

      Hi Amy, so what happened that made you think you weren't switched? And what's going on now that's got you so worried (other than SEs obviously) if you're not having cravings?

      I totally understand the fear. And if you're not able to drive or work that's a problem. But how quickly are you going up and down? 10 or so a week is really a good goal, + or - 20 a week is really the max. So at a certain point try to settle in. Nothing is the end of the world, and no cravings is exactly the point. That's fantastic. So maybe a few more details and we can figure something out?

      Comment

        #4
        I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

        Hi Stuck. Nice to hear from you. I'm not having cravings but I'm definitely not indifferent either. I could very easily drink or not which I guess is fine but I really want to hit indifference. I think what happened that made me think I has switched is that I didn't crave AL. I obviously don't know what I'm doing and this is all foreign territory to me. I guess I was naive to think that it would be that easy to get there. Your right, I possibly tried to increase my dosage back up and I went to fast. I think I just got frustrated with this whole thing and tried to get there to quickly. The insomnia was really difficult to deal with but maybe that might have something to do with how quickly I tirated up. I don't know because the first time I was tirating up slowly and when I got to 200 the insomnia became ridiculous!!! Hence, the subject of my post "I think I'm doing this all Wrong" I think that my biggest worry is that this isnt going to work and Im going to have to struggle with my AL addiction forever. Maybe I need to take a step back and plan this out better. UGH!!!! Very frustrating!!!
        :wings:Every day is another day to set things right!! Make today a new beginning, the first day of the rest of your life!:wings:

        Goals: to stay AF and to start to incorporate some sort of exercise into my daily routine!!!:wings:

        Comment

          #5
          I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

          The insomnia is tough.
          I've had it my whole life and it was worse when I moved up on bac.

          It does get better. I stay at 220 now. I am not perfect but I never wanted to be. I go a week and have a couple nice glasses of wine with a good meal.

          Life's too short. Can't wait 'till my physical.

          Hang in there. It took me a long while to get used to the high doses. A good sleep helps so much. Every now and then an Ambien works.

          The switch thing is a tough term. I hit it and had zero interest for a while.

          Now and then I will see an old friend, have a cigar and a martini. Nothing crazy.

          Hit that switch and then work with it. If you never want a drink again, you can do it.

          If you want control, which is what I wanted, you can get that too.

          Comment

            #6
            I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

            Hey Amy, normal people can drink or not drink, too. So only you'll know for sure. But I second COS here, the most important thing is probably to define your goal. Then find a balance between bac SEs and the effects you want.

            All the best, sounds like you're doing really well except for the SEs. Just remember small changes!

            Comment

              #7
              I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

              Thanks Stuck and COS. I appreciate your very encouraging words. I actually went and bought some Melatonin yesterday before I got home from work and took about 4 of them (the recomended dose is 1) so I hope Im not opening can of worms by taking too much. Anyways, it actually helped a bit and I feel pretty good this morning. Its amazing what a somewhat decent nights sleep will do. Again, thanks for for the advise. You guys are awesome!!
              :wings:Every day is another day to set things right!! Make today a new beginning, the first day of the rest of your life!:wings:

              Goals: to stay AF and to start to incorporate some sort of exercise into my daily routine!!!:wings:

              Comment

                #8
                I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

                Sure thing. Sleep does help. I did not get much last night after xanax and halcion. Pretty sad.

                Melatonin won't work every night either. You do have to mix it up. There are so many options.

                I think accepting the fact you will have some rough days is an important part. I am used to it now. I don't think mine is from the baclofen though any longer.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

                  Oh and sorry if I seem like such a spaz!!! lol
                  :wings:Every day is another day to set things right!! Make today a new beginning, the first day of the rest of your life!:wings:

                  Goals: to stay AF and to start to incorporate some sort of exercise into my daily routine!!!:wings:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

                    Hi COS. Im going to look in to other forms of "sleep aids". I took the Melatonin last night and it didnt work so your probably right about mixing it up. Any suggestions. BTW, today way the first time Ive literally nodded of at work while typing on my computer. Actually I just did it again while typing this!!! I guess that has something to do with me being at 210mh/BAC. Hope I dont actually dont fall asleep and start snoring!!! lol Does alot of Coffee help at all??
                    :wings:Every day is another day to set things right!! Make today a new beginning, the first day of the rest of your life!:wings:

                    Goals: to stay AF and to start to incorporate some sort of exercise into my daily routine!!!:wings:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I fell like Im doing this all wrong!!

                      Hey, I said I was done with this forum but with an avatar like that...

                      So nodding off is normal. It happens a lot to me. I am at 220. I had a few drinks tonite. Wow, I was a mess. Guess I am a novice again. Head out to the Bellagio tomorrow on business and made a big dinner. My bad.

                      So other sleep aids. So many. Melatonin is so hit or miss. Valerian can help. A good sleep routine is best of course.

                      Else there are the other things, antihistamines, benzos, and such. E mail me if you want to talk.

                      COSgringo@gmail.com

                      Comment

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