Topamax

[Lilyesq]

x

[AL Fiend]

Topamax

Hi Lilyesq,

Welcome to MWO! I am fairly new here myself, but I'll give you what I can.

If you don't have cravings, it seems that AL meds like topa and baclofen wouldn't be that beneficial to you.

Your long hours on the job, and isolation from family and friends could easily be contributing to your depression. Do you think you may have a neurotransmitter imbalance as well?

I wonder if you would find more help over at the Holistic thread. They talk about things like lifestyle changes and nutritional supplements that may help. Also, on the Research thread yesterday, they were talking about neurotransmitter imbalances and their causes.

At any rate, the people on MWO are very supportive, and can give you a sense of community that your long hours at work don't allow for. Hopefully we will help you find your right path, whatever it is. Someone else will be along soon!

AL

[sunshinedaisies]

Topamax

Just wondering - if you don't have cravings...... what sort of help are you asking for? if the topa is helping with the cravings, I am not sure what it is you are needing. What would you like us to help you with? We have plenty of support here for you...... I think it is wonderful that the Topa, at 100mg a day has sorted the cravings. For me, I have to go way higher than that.

let us know what we can do for you....... and welcome to MWO......

sun

[krill]

Topamax

Lilyesq, I know what you mean. So much of this disease nothing to do with physical craving. It's just a powerful habit that seems to have no rhyme or reason. I've done the topamax and baclofen routes. Yes, each one reduced/eliminated the physical desire to drink...but then 4PM came around and I went to the packy. Thinking of you...

[Greg]

Topamax

I initially drank in my early 20's to drown out depression and loneliness at night, and I used to get through each day by keeping in mind that I had the alcohol as my escape from everything at the end of the day. My issues weren't due to my job, but instead due to my very shy nature, but the end result was pretty much the same as what you are struggling with.

The anti-craving medications used by most people here don't have strong antidepressant properties, although some may find relief. The medications simply stop the overpowering cravings many people get for alcohol. Some do reduce anxiety however.

Pills can't fix or change someone's work-related lifestyle, so you are going to have to find ways of changing this yourself. You seem to realise that what you are doing is not making you happy in life, but rather the opposite, so I can't see a way out while you remain in your current work situation. Unfortunately this is easy for me to say, as I don't know what financial commitments you have or whether you really need to work as hard and as long as you do. I also don't know if you are doing your job because it is a field you enjoy and have always wanted to persue, or whether you are doing it because it is the only career you have known so far. Some people (my mother being one example) also work long and hard as a way of filling in time and avoiding depression and loneliness.

With alcohol cravings out of the way, all I can say is that now seems to be the time to VERY seriously and immediately review your career and lifestyle. It is never too late to make a career change, or to take on a job role in the same industry that has less hours and less stress. As I said earlier however, I don't know what level of financial responsibilities you have, or whether you could afford to change jobs right now and still meet your financial commitments. Is there some other field of employment you would have an interest in, which would also be likely to consume less time?

Sorry I can't be of more specific help, but a careers advisor/counsellor could be of help with this. As for AA, I also did not fit into their model of recovery, but I still sometimes go to meetings to be with other sober people socially.

I hope you manage to find an alternative way of living that is more satisfying and doesn't make you feel the need for a bottle in order to cope with it.

[spacebebe01]

Topamax

Hi Lily, I am glad the topa has worked for you to stop the cravings, but as everyone else has said it seems to be either your lifestyle/job, or maybe depression that is keeping you drinking. Have you seen a doctor, that would help if you knew of you where suffering from depression or not, and also Greg has a lot of very good points for you to consider.

Whatever you do you are more than welcome to ome on here anytime to talk to us.

[agassizii]

Topamax

Lily,

I understand the demands that some professions place on a person. Been there, done that. Including the 80 hour weeks. The result was that I lost my sense of self and simply did not have the time or energy to maintain my personal equilibrium. That brought about a prolonged relapse after a significant number of years of without al in my life. Things got quite bad after that.

Consider if you believe it is possible to have a happy and fulfillled life with those kinds of career demands. If you are sacrificing your connection to others, the capacity to enjoy a fullfilled life, and a keep a sense of balance due to career demands, it is perfectly understandable to self-medicate with al.

You seem to have identified the issue. The question is what are you going to do about it?

As others have noted, your credentials can be put to use in a different capacity, although at a lower salary. A complete career change is also possible. If you don't do something though, you can see the trajectory of where life will take you in 5 or 10 years. An individual counselor may be helpful in sorting things out.

You deserve a shot at happiness. All the best to you. You can make a better life for yourself, although it may entail making some difficult decisions.

Ag