Colin, 65

[Colin]

Colin, 65

Cannabis and Nerve Pain

It seems that cannabis might be a help with neuropathy - Smoked Cannabis Proven Effective In Treating Neuropathic Pain.
If I can get the knee pain subdued then I can certainly see myself skiing when slightly stoned. My collection of seriously mind altering drugs is increasing almost weekly.

EDIT: Next physical reference is

Colin;1435409 wrote: Baclofen has been ...

[Colin]

Colin, 65

November 26 - December 3

Nov. 29: It seems strange that I don't seem to have any triggers to start drinking. Apart from the first couple of weeks in the clinic 8 months ago I have had no cravings and have never felt tempted for more than a couple of minutes. My past behaviour was simply to have a drink if I wanted one - there was never any time wasted waiting for a witching hour or whatever.

The dangerous time for me was after the first 2/3 drinks at any time of the day. If I continued after satisfying the immediate need, things went progressively downhill. The older I got the steeper that downward slope.

Sooner or later I will be testing out my personal controlling dose by having a couple of drinks. Dangerous but that never stopped me doing something in the past.

Great autumn weather again. If this is global warming it's fine by me.

Nov. 30: Dropped down from 150 mg baclofen to 137.5. I'll reduce further if necessary so that I'll be able to accurately judge any side effects from the increasing doses of amitriptyline.

Dec. 1: Slept very well and woke with a clear head - almost omnipotent. How can anything go wrong. Baclofen certainly causes large mood swings which are generally positive. I hope like hell that I've got the twin imposters (triumph and disaster) under control.

Dec 3. I'm feeling much more alert throughout the day. 137.5 going down is a lot better than when I was increasing.

The nerve pain is unchanged but I have not yet experienced the migraine aura. Nothing conclusive yet but the experiment will continue with an increase in amitriptyline from the starting dose of 10 mg.

A nasty, grey wet winter's day but it didn't adversely affect my mood. My cocktail of mind altering drugs has a lot in its favour. I am very suspicious of all these good omens.

[kuya]

Colin, 65

So glad to hear you sounding so well. Keep on trucking xox

[Colin]

Colin, 65

December 4 - 11

Dec. 4 - 6: Still experiencing noticeable mood swings between euphoric and down, not the "depressed down". I'm thankful to be living at a time when neuroscience is getting to grips with a number of problems that were too easily handled in the past as failures of willpower or a lack of moral fibre.

Dec. 7 - 11: Much more emotional stability that I can trust - pleasant things seem pleasant but not excessively so. In addition I'm sleeping for 7 - 8 hours which I consider an improvement on the +- 10 hours of the last five years.

Dec. 11: Talked to my medical advisers and the regimen will now be:-
Baclofen 125 mg. Reduced from 137.5 mg.
Citalopram 40 mg. Unchanged.
Mirtazepine discontinued. Was 7.5 mg.
Amitriptyline 20 mg. Was 10 mg.

Ne gave me her view of the Phill problem. While digging around in old threads I was struck by the number of deleted posts - this significantly reduces the credibility of MWO. Person X can deny having written Y by deleting the post where X clearly stated Y. George Orwell knows all about those truths. By post facto editing we can even rewrite history. Come back Joseph Stalin, all is forgiven.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Colin, 65

The Phill problem? That wasn't exactly what I was trying to offer some insight into.

You're welcome?

Reduces the credibility of MWO? :H As a whole?

This is not, believe it or not, a resource for intellectual research, or even a greater understanding through diaries such as yours. Nor is it a place to fulfill the curiosities of newcomers.

It is, in actual fact and practice, a place where personal relationships are formed over (sometimes) long periods of time. In those instances hurtful words from fallible individuals are rightfully retracted. As are other deletions which (based on my personal experience) are too personal, too antagonistic, posted while drunk, or simply because it makes one uncomfortable to leave it on the boards for the whole World Wide Web to see.

It causes both amusement and consternation when people return to the same contentious issues time and time again. And rather than asking, "For what reason did this happen?" or "What is the basis of that reaction/assumption/suggestion?" they take it upon themselves to wade in while strapping on gloves without the benefit of any insight, information or (dare I say) wisdom.

What becomes even more amusing (rather than concerning) is when the issue at hand is gossip. Facts are one thing, and easily found. The records about the facts are all here, and there are several people who would be happy to direct anyone looking for real and legitimate information in the direction of facts. Whether that be about someone, or about baclofen, or about...anything we might be able to help with.

But gossip? It is largely irrelevant to the point (any point) at hand (any hand). There are beliefs based on not-fact, and feelings (completely legitimate) that would sway a person's perspective. But to what end?
I am so eternally grateful that I can delete where and when I want, and participate (hopefully in a legitimate capacity) fully.

You may be too, some day. Pretty likely if you stick around long enough.

Glad the moods have settled down. I rather enjoyed the upswing, though I worried too about the ultimate change in direction.

[Colin]

Colin, 65

Ne/Neva Eva;1425432 wrote:
I am so eternally grateful that I can delete where and when I want, and participate (hopefully in a legitimate capacity) fully.

I'll get back to you next week. This should give you plenty of time to edit/delete as you see fit in preparation for your legitimate participation.

[TexasAg]

Colin, 65

Colin,
Comparing people that edit/delete to Joseph Stalin? Come on man, tell me you don't want to go back and edit that..... :H

Cheers!

[Colin]

Colin, 65

TexasAg;1426007 wrote: Colin,
Comparing people that edit/delete to Joseph Stalin? Come on man, tell me you don't want to go back and edit that..... :H

Cheers!

That was written with my tongue in my cheek, a little bit of an exaggeration.

More seriously, my style is to leave the original unchanged and post a clarification, as in this post. It is not as if I hadn't posted the comment.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Colin, 65

Reggie;1426210 wrote: Baclofen Works ..but not for a deletion addiction

:H

[Colin]

Colin, 65

Reggie;1426244 wrote: Sorry Colin I am being flippant pleased to meet you my names reg:exclaim2: here is my baclofen story.https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...tch-47810.html.

Reg, I appreciate the link to your baclofen story. Flippancy is just fine. The only people I can't get on with are those who take themselves too seriously.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Colin, 65

Colin;1426408 wrote: ... those who take themselves too seriously.

Don't you just hate that? I don't know how many times I have to tell people to lighten up. And though it seems everyone I know thinks I occasionally have a problem with taking just about everything too seriously, I am quite sure they're just not aware of how dire absolutely everything is.
Colin, I struggle over which toothbrush to buy because I want to make sure it is the Most Effective Tooth Cleaning Implement.
And I've got a short temper.
And I don't suffer fools. Unless I know them or can relate to their foolishness.
I stress over the small stuff.

And I'm working on it. ALL of it. Because I take everything seriously. Oh. And personally.
So cut a girl a break.

I am sure that no one has ever accused you of being a tad dry and perhaps too serious. If I pay close attention I suppose I could learn a thing or two.

[kuya]

Colin, 65

Colin;1426408 wrote: Reg, I appreciate the link to your baclofen story. Flippancy is just fine. The only people I can't get on with are those who take themselves too seriously.

I KNOW that my humour IS my healer. I find everything has a funny side, even alcoholism.

There we are, such intelligent monkeys, consider ourselves the pinnacle of evolution, drink lighter fuel for recreation! :H:H:H

[Colin]

Colin, 65

Ne/Neva Eva;1425432 wrote:

Reduces the credibility of MWO? :H As a whole?

Recently your progress thread - https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...-ne-46757.html - was recommended as useful reading to a new MWOer. And perhaps for not so recent arrivals? I eagerly started looking at the thread hoping to find a description of your rite of passage but unfortunately the posts documenting this had been excised; lots of comments from others but nothing much from Ne.

These events lead directly to my observation concerning the credibility of MWO.

lvb65 (post #23) also found difficulty:-

"I find it increasingly difficult to follow the consecutive stories here on the forum. How is that for you out there? Sometimes a response doesn't fit at all and others are just missing. It makes it difficult for me to ask question or ad on to posts. Would like to hear if anyone else feels the same way and if there is a good idea how to manage this forum more coherently. "

lvb65 didn't make many more posts before disappearing.

We must agree to differ - but at least I understand how I should judge the MWO content.

I trust that new MWOers are not put off by the absence of enlightenment.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Colin, 65

I've said, in my own thread and in several other places, that I erroneously erased a good deal of my thread. I did it for three reasons. The first is that I was embarrassed. I felt like I was a mess, and people (one person in particular) made fun of me. The second is that there was a reporter here for a while. Actually, that happened twice. (One making a documentary that fell apart. The other a journalist for an NPR station in Chicago. I talked to both extensively. Later.) The third is because I was easily identifiable, and if you continue to read, and follow, then you'll see on three different occasions I was targeted personally. One of them sent me threats.

Mind you, none of that matters now. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have bothered. The hecklers were certainly no threat. I still keep in some sort of vague touch with the reporters. And the rest, well, hell. I was a drunk, drinking against my will. And when I stopped, I stopped being that person.

All of which is pretty moot, because I'm systematically deleting a good portion of what I've contributed for several other reasons. None of which have anything to do with you! Part of the reason, though, is that it's counterproductive. Most people don't actually read what happened before. My time here grows short, because time is short and I feel it would be better spent trying to help people I can actually see.

The third is that there have been 4 suicides in the last couple of years. I have no way of knowing to what that sad fact can be attributed. But I know that we are a community in greater danger of death than most, and that many (many!) people take these medications (any of them) recklessly. It scares me. It keeps me awake at night. I used to freely offer my phone number, and spend hours every day on the phone and via email talking to MWOers. I can't do that anymore. Plus, I need to figure out where and what I can best contribute.
Petty arguments drive me bananas. It derails the entire framework. That's why I reached out to you about Phill. I honestly don't care (really) what you think about him (or me!). But it keeps people sick when a fracas breaks out here. And right now, here is the only place to get any decent info about baclofen. I'd be surprised if you read it, until you found the intrigue. But perhaps that's just because I've become cynical about the goings on around here.

Sorry for the tome. But insinuations make me a bit bananas too. If you, or anyone else, wants to know anything, just ask. Most of us are completely open about who we are, what and why we do what we do.

You're welcome.
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when you decide it's time to test it. Unless you drink too much and then the hangover will make your toes curl. Because this stuff works. Which is the only point, and the only reason that I'm hanging around here.
Stay well.

[joanna_d]

Colin, 65

?????? what's happening ??????