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I am on Day 3 of being AF!

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    I am on Day 3 of being AF!

    Some may recall I was stuck at 170mg/day after a long slow titration and could not go beyond that. I was having extreme anxiety/panic and I fell asleep at the wheel on the interstate. I pulled back to 160mg/day and spread it out to 8 doses a day rather than 4 but it did not help, still had anxiety and somnolence. At that point I was so angry about my Baclofen experience that I felt like quitting out of spite on my own and deciding that indifference was simply not worth the pain and destruction. I remained at the reduced dose of 160 for about 7 weeks. Some had suggested that I give my body time to adjust and the SE’s would subside. After almost 2 months they did not, even the post-nasal drip was still going on after all that time. Finally 3 days ago I got sick of it and said I will quit in spite of Baclofen not because of it yet I had very little confidence in my ability to make it through the first 24 hours.

    24 hours later I had done it. The odd part is I had no cravings. It was almost like I had been indifferent all this time but the drinking was such an ingrained habit that I could not bare to let it go. I have had zero cravings. I could not believe it. This was so easy that I am angry at myself for not quitting sooner. I got so hung up on the idea of waking up one day and hitting this magical indifference switch that I decided I would drink until my body quit for me. I might have been able to do this at 130mg, who knows. I never gave it a real hard try because I wanted the easy way out rather than my way out.

    Anyway I thought I would share this in case others were having similar issues or considering giving white knuckles a try. Turns out mine are not white at all. I have titrated down to 140 now and still no cravings. There is one thing that is different this time. Previously when I quit for 1 or more days it was very reinforcing because I did not have hangovers and it felt great to be clear headed. This time I am still waking up and experiencing that Baclofen sleepy fog stuff. I prefer that to cravings but I am ready to feel good again. I hope to ease down slowly to 80mg/day and reevaluate. We will see what happens. I hope it sticks. Sorry I was too anxious and panicky to participate on this forum much. Thanks to those who offered support.

    -RIP Anna

    #2
    I am on Day 3 of being AF!

    Hey YingandYang, and congrats on three days AF!
    This is almost exactly what happened to me. I got as high as 225 mg/day on bac before deciding to titrate down due to side effects. I drank nightly all the way up and all the way down, with the exception of the three days I spent on vacation with family in close quarters where drinking was impossible. I was very disappointed that I didn't achieve indifference and was feeling rather scammed by bac.
    I went down too quickly and went a little crazy, but that's irrelevant. When I was at about 70 mg, I decided that I'd had enough of drinking, and I was going to quit one way or another. I started taking antabuse, fully prepared as you were to white knuckle it. To my pleasure and surprise, it was not as difficult as I'd thought it would be. I still got cravings, but they were nothing like the "I'm going to die if I don't have a drink right now" feeling that I've always had when previously trying to quit. I think I only took 6 antabuse in the first four months I was AF, and I don't take it at all anymore. I would if I felt I needed it. But I don't.
    I've been AF for a little over 7 months now and currently take 40-50 mg bac daily. With the gabapentin that I also take, my crippling anxiety is under control for the first time in my adult life. Like I said, I do still get cravings, but they're manageable. It's been nothing short of a miracle for me.
    Like you, I hope more people realize how much bac can help even if they don't "hit the switch". Until you posted this, I was something of an anomaly around here. I also wonder if the oft-given advice to not worry about drinking while titrating up should be re-evaluated. Maybe when we're not drinking we can better feel the changes that are happening in our bodies and brains. Though I do understand that's not an option for everyone. That's why we're taking the bac in the first place, right? We couldn't stop on our own. But maybe there could be a timeline that suggests stopping drinking at a certain point in the titration process.
    Anyhow, I do think you should continue to go down to get relief from your SEs. But I also think you should continue to closely monitor your cravings and feelings about alcohol. If drinking is sounding particularly "sexy", go back up a little. And please, for God's sake, go down SLOWLY!! Like only 5-10 mg each week. I lost my shit when going down, and it took me months to recover.
    Best of luck to you, and do please continue to let us know how it goes. Maybe antabuse is something you'd be interested in if you just want to seal the deal and making drinking a complete impossibility. I know it did really help me in the beginning.
    Thanks again, and hope to hear from you soon!
    :l
    "Yet someday this will have an end
    All choices made or choice resigned,
    And in your face the literal eye
    Trace little of your history,
    Nor ever piece the tale entire
    Of villages that had to burn
    And playgrounds of the will destroyed
    Before you could be safe from time
    And gather in your brow and air
    The stillness of antiquity."

    From "At Majority" by Adrienne Rich

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      #3
      I am on Day 3 of being AF!

      The same thing happened to my wife; after we intervened and she stopped, she never really had any reason to go back to drinking again. And she was at 80mg only. After starting baclofen she had stopped having cravings, but she just hadn`t chosen to go out of the vicious circle.

      Comment


        #4
        I am on Day 3 of being AF!

        With the first 3 posts all documenting the magic moment without being aware of it happening, I am certainly being forced to re-evaluate my own case. I've been around 130/135mg baclofen for about 6 weeks and have not gone further due to the somnolence during the day.

        Thanks to all three of you and good luck.

        Comment


          #5
          I am on Day 3 of being AF!

          Similar experience for me and many others.

          Bac can make drinking unpleasant at higher doses and this can help force you to stop. However the main thing it does is put you back in the driving seat, it allows you to rationally decide when to drink, this simply wasn't an option before.

          Old habits die hard. Take care to monitor your interest in alcohol and best wishes. I'm about 2 years after the 'switch' and still relearning life! Thankfully, although the ride hasn't been smooth I have been in control of my fate during that time.
          Started Baclofen 3/9/10 Hit my switch at 250mg on 21/11/10 Present maintenance dose of 50mg : started drinking after 1 year, upped dose to 80mg and stopped: Tapered to 30mg, started 6 months of drinking, upped dose to 240mg to stop 12/7/12

          Comment


            #6
            I am on Day 3 of being AF!

            Thanks to everyone for the replies. I am now on day 7 AF. I am currently at 145 and still totally indifferent. The strange thing is I was at 170 and not at all indifferent. The indifference did not happen until I got so scared and angry that I very reluctantly decided to try to quit on my own. I had very little confidence that I would succeed. Once I tried real hard and quit, I could not believe it, I realized I was already indifferent and did not even know it. It was my mind and force of habit along with fear that was keeping me trapped. I have not had even a single slight craving since 10-02-12 when I quit. And to think I so dreaded quitting but it was all in my head. Weird.

            Thank you windycitylady for the advice about going down slowly. I had peaked at 170 and leveled at 160 then dropped to 140 but after reading your post I went up to 150 again. I am at 145 now and plan to ease down. What was your experience with going down “too fast”? How fast and what were the effects?

            We will see if it sticks. I am determined. I certainly encourage others to experiment with “quitting” v.s. “waiting for the switch”. It somehow worked for me and I feel better than I have in a long long time. The Baclofen has me feeling “hung over” and “drugged out” and I cant wait to get past that while hopefully keeping the indifference.

            There seems to be a fine line between the subtle side effects of a GABA-B agonist and choice itself. Like most things in life it appears to be two sides of the same coin. A little Yin and a little Yang.

            Comment


              #7
              I am on Day 3 of being AF!

              Going down too fast

              Hi there YingYang,

              My own experience with reducing the Baclofen is that I experience a mood change, 3 or 4 days after each reduction (which also would explain that it's not a big deal if you accidentally skip a dose).
              It took me about a week after each reduction to feel like before the reduction.

              I myself reduced 10 mg every month, but I guess you could reduce 10 mg every week. Not faster, because your body and brain have to be given the chance to adapt to the new level.

              As soon as you experience cravings, you know that the level you're on then is too low.
              You take 1 or 2 pills immediately to get rid of the cravings (effect will be as soon as 30 minutes, so don't drink alcohol) and after that you correct to the dose that you were on just before the craving appeared and you stay on that dose.

              From my own experience, this is the best advice I can give you, but maybe others would have some suggestions.
              Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

              Comment


                #8
                I am on Day 3 of being AF!

                Hey YinandYang!
                Glad things are still working for you and that you've decided not to go down too fast.
                You asked how fast I went down, and I couldn't remember. So I went back through old threads to try to figure it out.
                In addition to the normal somnalence and fogginess on bac, I was also experiencing increased depression and anxiety. It appears as though I was going down by 20-25 mg every 3 days. Definitely too fast. My anxiety skyrocketed. I could barely function. I ended up in Urgent Care because of panic attacks.
                I can't figure out how to post a link on this computer I'm on (I miss my smartphone!), but if you want to read the thread, it was started by me and was called "Quick Advice Needed". You can find it by clicking on my name. I don't know if it's worth it, unless you're bored and have a lot of time to kill. You'd have to sift through a lot to actually find any useful information. It was interesting for me to go back through it though. There was a lot from that time in my life that I didn't remember.
                Well, best of luck to you, and please continue to keep us updated!
                :l
                "Yet someday this will have an end
                All choices made or choice resigned,
                And in your face the literal eye
                Trace little of your history,
                Nor ever piece the tale entire
                Of villages that had to burn
                And playgrounds of the will destroyed
                Before you could be safe from time
                And gather in your brow and air
                The stillness of antiquity."

                From "At Majority" by Adrienne Rich

                Comment


                  #9
                  I am on Day 3 of being AF!

                  Well it has now been 2 weeks 3 days and 10 hours (there is an app for that) and zero cravings. I did have one slight thought but I realized it was because I had the house to myself for a weekend. Drinking alone was an old pattern and that loneliness triggered the thought, but I would not call it a craving and it quickly passed with a warm bubble bath, a cup of chamomile tea and an L-Theanine. I have been going down much faster than I thought I could, about 10mg-5mg every 3 days or so. I am now at 115 down from 170. I feel much better every time I drop down which is why I sped up. Some people seem to feel worse, I keep feeling better everytime I go down. I just dont want to overshoot any possible maintenance dose. Lowering the dose has stopped the panic, no more falling asleep at the wheel or daytime somnolence. Almost zero side effects, only a little post nasal drip remaining. I have never felt better. I have been running every other day and lifting weights every other day with Sundays off. I have dropped about 20 lbs and I just feel really good. I still feel a little bit tired sometimes and want to level off at 80 mg for an extended period and see if I need a 40mg maintenance dose or go down to zero.

                  WCL I read your thread. That was helpful. I hope you don't still have that Boss, wow. I am glad you have made it almost 8 months AF! That is awesome. I hope I can come back here in 8 months and still be AF. My biggest motivator is I do not want to go through that titrating up experience ever again. I just keep remembering one drink could mean going through 6 months of hell again. No thanks! The key for me is to keep my emotions along the middle way. I never get too happy or proud nor do I get too down or dejected. I try to stay the course right in the middle, halfway between Yin and Yang!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I am on Day 3 of being AF!

                    Maintenance dose

                    Hi there YinYang,

                    Good to hear that you're doing so well.

                    If you might go below your maintenance dose, You will notice by getting some cravings.
                    In my case, at that moment I took an extra pill and went back to the previous dose.

                    At first I thought that maybe I could do without the Baclofen, now that I was "cured", but at 45 mg (switch was at 90 mg) I got a slight craving. I took an extra pill and corrected to 50 mg. Problem solved.

                    Maybe I will try to lower the dose in a few months, in the event which I will post the results.

                    Take care and keep going!
                    Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I am on Day 3 of being AF!

                      One month and 1 week AF today. All the way down to 40 mg a day from the switch at 160. I have been coming off of Baclofen extremely fast. I wanted to see if I would get any cravings or problems. So far nothing. I don't even think about it. I just ran a 5K last weekend. Lost a bunch of weight. No problems at all. Well there is a bit of anhedonia at times. I think my neurons just need to regrow. Things that used to give me a dopamine rush do not excite me anymore. That will just take time and is normal. I used to use alcohol to get the rush getting that same feeling from the smell of fresh cut grass for example will just take some time. All is good. If I have issues or realize I dialed it back too quickly I will keep people updated. I am amazed that I am still indifferent at only 40mg and I am dialing it back 10 mg every 3 days or so. I will keep folks updated. I want to see if getting to zero causes any changes or problems.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I am on Day 3 of being AF!

                        great information here! I'm keeping to slow and steady.. and although I was thinking that 'a drink here and there' was the way to indifference.. I am hopeful indifference will appear without a binge!

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