Two things, X. The first is that I'm feeling a lot of similar things lately and just kind of fed up with everything when I shouldn't be. I'm writing every morning, my girlfriend is moving out here and we'll be together (and I'll get laid a lot), and things *should* be going great, but I don't feel like they are. So I watched Le Feu Follett last night, about an alcoholic writer who's sobered up in a treatment home for 4 months and decides to kill himself. He goes about his day, seeing old friends and settling his affairs, gets drunk, and the following morning shoots himself. This, you should not do - the shooting part or in God's glorious name watch the movie. It was depressing as hell.
Two, dialing back on the bac is obviously your call. I can, and will, say though that coming down quickly might aggravate things, and by aggravate I mean deaden feelings even more. I had a rough go of things when I did, and I was going down about 10mg/*week*, not per day. Like a blackness descended over me. So just be careful and keep an eye on your thoughts and feelings, and by any means necessary remember that they are only temporary.
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