just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

owww that sucks loop...

[Lo0p]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

No it's normal. I'm up for an hour once every 3 or 4. Always been that way. I think I'm up forthe day this time though...oh well.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

ow okay. hope you'll have a nice day!

[Lo0p]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

For a year after I was cured I slept with bottles of red wine (my previous DOC) 4 feet from my pillow. I had a bed in my parents laundry room/pantry. Never even once occurred to me to crack one open.

[Xadrian]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna_d;1422122 wrote: won't it be dangerous to get of AL all of a sudden, from top intake, to zero?

Nope, that's one of the advantages of Baclofen: It strongly prevents or strongly reduces the withdrawal effects, including delirium, etc.

As you know, Baclofen is a GABA-agonist. Maybe you didn't know that alcohol (ethanol) is a GABA-agonist too.

Because Baclofen triggers the same receptors in your brain as alcohol does, you will get no (or way less) withdrawal effects when alcohol intake is ceased.

Just give it a try.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

ah yes, i knew that, but i didn't link it to withdrawal. until now, that is. thank X

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

doing the ros? thing now. sorry, i can't get myself to go completely af all at once... i'll try hard to stick with this one bottle though.

i actually think that me taking these ant-depressants could be another type of addict behavior. when i started taking them, i w?s in a really bad place (of course, also drinking a lot, so that didn't help), couldn't work or anything, and i needed to get going again.
so take a pill and get going.
when i'm af, i want to try and taper the ad's down to zero, and see what comes up. i think i would feel up to anything when af.
besides, the ad's made me drink even more.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

wow man, i'm sorry, i did the ros? thing, couldn't get myself to go completely AF at once.
i finished the bottle (75ml, not 1l) at about 8 pm (took me 3 hours, not very slow), and then i felt like all my cells had an ounce of toxic lead in them.
(don't worry, i know an ounce of lead doesn't fit in a human cell )
man... horrible!! i still feel utterly nasty right now. no way i'm gonna drink more. no inclination whatsoever to get me a few of those 8.5% beers either.

this is weird... and i drank half of what i've been drinking over the last few months... one 8.5% beer early this afternoon (it was left in the fridge from last night) and then one bottle of ros? from 5 pm on.

i've been drinking tea since 8 pm.

[Xadrian]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Way to go, Jo!

Seems like the switch is near.

[TexasAg]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Howdy Jo! sounds promising, How are you doing this evening (right?)?

Cheers!

[MaryGoRound]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Hi Jo-

I am "listening" to your thread and I just want to add a "you go girl!" to it!

Thank you for giving us a glimpse of the day to day struggles....it is important. I have not started my own thread but I am so thankful to those who do share. Please continue...we are all very curious about it. We may be shy about saying it on our own but we watch those who are brave enough to share.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Mary, thanx, that's so sweet! please start your own thread! as embarrassing as it sometimes feels for me, it's helped me so much to get all this support. also handy to keep a diary of what you're going through in this way...

well...

Ne/Neva Eva;1422099 wrote: Holy cow you're a woman of steel or a glutton for punishment. Or both! Ha! I get it. Sooo.
yep, both, i guess... would be nice to use that steel for my good instead of my bad (my negative beliefs about myself and the life i always thought was laid out for me). i have so much energy invested in those negative beliefs, i guess i'm having a hard time letting go.
but (kind of embarrassing again) instead of concluding "i would be crazy to drink after what happened last night", today i returned to the 8.5% beers, cause in some strange way they give me less of a bad feeling than ros? does.
yesterday evening i thought "i dunno if i'll have the guts to drink again tomorrow" and feeling the difference today, but today, it was just difficult to let go. i'm testing it. and i don't know if i'll be able to stop testing it, until i feel i can completely let go.

all the while, i know i'm being destructive, but i also feel the switch is near.

Ne/Neva Eva;1422101 wrote: One more thing.

Look for it. The switch. The fact that the "something" is gone. It is very hard to see it through the fog of booze (in my not so humble opinion.)

There is something about the way bac worked (for me) that changed everything. Things (like the car situation) that used to happen to me all the time simply stopped happening. That's true even now. I'm not the only one that has experienced this. And what's more, when stuff does happen, it simply doesn't have the same affect/effect. Look for that too. It is super-cool.

i experienced this today. i took the train to Utrecht to get my car and instead of feeling like i was about to faint or vomit or whatever, i was reading my addiction book and every time i looked up from it, i was struck by the beauty of the landscape and the winter sun on it (though it was shitty snow and nile geese al over the place). bought myself a nice cappucino, and a mozzarella tomato sandwich and was smiling at people and they smiled back at me. *twinkle twinkle twink*
driving back home (fortunately my car was still there) was kind of nice. i feel i can leave anger of other people to themselves more, instead of taking it in.

i bought 2 8.5% beers, hoping i could keep it at that, cause it would have been less than yesterday, but i bought 2 more at the night shop. i think i can leave it at that (still: half of what i drank on wednesday, and about the same of what i drank yesterday. i know. this is addict bullshit).
hoping to feel tomorrow like today. it's so much better than with the heavy drinking of the last months. i guess i'm starting to experience the incompatibility of high dose baclofen with drinking alcohol...

though i feel like an asshole for drinking tonight. i guess feeling like a no good asshole is a large part of my addiction. it's what i'm running away from by drinking, whilst by drinking, i'm only confirming that belief. and of course, it's a stupid and no gain belief to begin with...

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

and again , after eight, it is tea...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Drinking is what we do. Whatever. It'll go. Whenever. Just so you know.

It's more important, I think, the twinkle and the tomato and mozza sandwich and the finding the good feelings about yourself.

My experience was that when (after fighting it to the absolute death!) I finally didn't want to drink anymore I realized this thing:

I am whole. Not missing a damn thing.

and juuuuuuuuuust fine. woop!
jk... :H

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

you know, one of my exes (actually one of those with minimal brain damage, or just plain low iq) used to sing a tune.
i've never checked out the original, nor did i ever desire to, and after ditching him i haven't thought about this, until now.
it goes like this:

"she'e a nightmare hippie girl! she eats tofu, the size of Texas!"

:l