just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

[caro]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Good news Jo. I am so pleased that things are not as bad as you feared.
Caro

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

thanks you fine among the finest!

well, they're going for my intestines now. well whatever, i'll survive.

some more news about the Amsterdam baclofen trial that makes me ehh *moan*: as it seems (i've had email contact with the man in the dutch documentary, he told me) there are quite some requirements to participate in the trial.
such as: all have to be in clinical committal (sorry for my english) by one of a few selected institutions, pay a (non-insured) contribution of 5000 euro (wow...) and participants have to follow the Minnisota programm.

and, Xadrian, one of the main persons leading the trial is.... yes! Bram Bakker!!!

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

hey this is interesting: Colin's runny bum pun just crossed my mind from out of nowhere, and this time i got it.

[caro]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Dear Jo,

Any updates on your medical issues? I hope the drinking front is ok too.

Best wishes

Caro

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Hi all, and thanks for asking Caro

Well, because of the antibiotics the infections are gone, so the pain is less acute, though still there. I'm getting used to it. There are still examinations to be done, so we'll see. In the meantime i'm eating very healthy, doing meditation, taking good care of my body. I'm hoping to start bikram yoga (yoga at high temp) again soon, which is very good for all your inner organs and stuff.
By the way: i'm feeling so much more in shape! i noticed can run a streak with my dog wearing heavy rubber rain boots without any gasps afterward (me wearing the boots of course, not the dog).

Lots of things going in in my life. Old issues pop up, and get resolved within me cause i'm in a totally different state of mind now. Sober! What an immense difference in being. It's a wonderful process, though sometimes quite intensive and energy consuming, all that inner change.

Because of my suddenly getting Colin's remark, i thought hey! my brain chemistry must have changed!
So last week i diminished baclofen to 200mg by half a pill (12.5mg).
No, i just followed my gut feeling, felt it was time for me to try and maybe it would lessen some of the se's like the somnolence (and who knows, maybe it has something to do with the things going on in my tummy?).
Last sunday i diminished again, so now i'm on 187.5mg.

About once a week i try a beer. It takes some time getting used to living totally sober, and after a intensive day, i sometimes wish i could just relax with a beer or two. It's an old trigger of course. Not so much craving a beer, but wanting to just lay back.
Most of the days i don't even think about drinking, even after rough days, but when i do, i just buy one or two, i don't believe in repression.
But you know what: i just can't stomach the stuff. It tastes disgusting, and it doesn't feel good at all to be drinking.
I once finished a whole bottle (33cl of 8.5% beer) and didn't like the feeling at all. All the other times after a sip or two, i threw the rest of it down the sink. Repulsed.
And it's still like that, after diminishing baclofen a bit.

It takes some time to get used to the fact that there's really no escape or soothing in stuff like booze or weed anymore.
Of course i tried to smoke pot again, thinking no one on this forum has ever heard of anyone having adverse reactions to pot after switching, so it might have been something else that time, but no: i got into a panic attack after smoking a joint, and felt sick to the toes the day after.

I'm finding new ways, way more relaxing in the end, and way more nourishing to my system.
And i'm so happy to have the chance to experience this transformation! It's a beautiful experience.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

as for the rest:

it's great to finally fully dive into work again!! after so many months of feeling sick and not being able to boost really. interesting and exciting new opportunities come up, very invigorating (hope that's the right word). i feel fuelled up more and more every day.

i spoke to someone i know who works in an addiction clinic, or more specific, a group of clinics in the north-west of Holland (de Brijder stichting). i told her how enraging it is to me that most standard addiction care centers still refuse to work with baclofen, and, as it appears, don't even take the effort to find out more about it, while it took me about 5 minutes to find this forum and a treasure full of information.
they just disregard it as being non scientifically based, while people are going through hell on a daily basis. i told her what i know about how baclofen works, about the trials that were already done in other countries, and how i know that so many people have benefitted from it already, although they had to do it without any support from doctors ao or even secretly.
my english is flawing me here, apologies for that. fortunately in my conversations with her, i was better at expressing what i meant

she spoke about this with some of her colleagues, and she and another collegue are planning to both write a letter to their management about the issue. she asked me to work with her on that.
so i'm planning to write an overview in dutch of facts about baclofen treatment, to clarify and to press the urge.
and she has a good rep in that company, she's someone that's being taken seriously there.

i'm still reading here on mwo, getting informed. not replying too much, cause a lot of times i don't really see how i can contribute right now. in the stage i'm in, it's more about exploring all that's changed and my new ways and possibilities.

and by the way: don't worry about my testing beer sometimes. it's just my way of getting familiar with this new way of (not) relating to booze.

[TexasAg]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Howdy Jo!

Good to hear from you and happy to hear your invigorated! I'm hoping with many of us trying to get Bac as a treatment it'll get recognized sooner or later. I look back at all our stories, from desperate alkies to sober weird newbies to feisty veterans (:H) and I can't help but be amazed and feel good. Bac and the posters on MWO are incredible.

BTW I tested beer this week. It wasn't horrible to me but I have no cravings and no fear.

Cheers!

[Colin]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna_d;1462041 wrote:
i spoke to someone i know who works in an addiction clinic, or more specific, a group of clinics in the north-west of Holland (de Brijder stichting).

It doesn't look like a stichting (Dutch for charitable organisation), more like any other profits driven corporation. When baclofen becomes the first line treatment for alcohol and other addictions, these clinics will easily lose 50% of their business. I am curious how they can be enthusiastic about baclofen.

[StuckinLA]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Hey Jo, glad you're hanging in there and doing well on the sobriety-front. I sure hope the other stuff gets sorted soon. Anyway, just wanted to pop in quickly and say that I had quite an adverse reaction to pot smoking while on bac, so you're not the only one--I just did not like the feeling AT ALL and had a massive--massive--panic attack.

It does kind of suck that there's no escape or soothing relaxation from anything, but it sure beats the alternative, right?

[Colin]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna_d;1462041 wrote:
they just disregard it as being non scientifically based,

Just give them Suppression of Alcohol Dependence Using Baclofen: A 2-Year Observational Study of 100 Patients Nobody in their right mind can claim that this is anything other than very hard core science and that it will very quickly lead to baclofen becoming the first line treatment for alcoholism.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

This week is particularly painfully busy with school stuff. So while I want to write and write and write, I'm trying to focus on work. Just breezing by to give you a big :l and shout out for reaching out. That's great.
I'm also glad you don't have anything absolutely terrifying happening, and I hope you'll get answers and solutions very soon. Feel better. In the meantime, rock on! xo (the 'o' is a hug. It always confused me that you guys just send kisses. )

(Did you ever read Mary Karr's book? I think I have the name right. She got sober in her late 30s and died of lung cancer in her early 40s. Things were so damn good [though weird and sometimes uncomfortable, but cool] after indifference, I kept wondering if I was going to start hacking up blood and find out I was dying. Not yet, knock wood. Or whatever.)

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Colin;1462177 wrote: It doesn't look like a stichting (Dutch for charitable organisation), more like any other profits driven corporation. When baclofen becomes the first line treatment for alcohol and other addictions, these clinics will easily lose 50% of their business. I am curious how they can be enthusiastic about baclofen.

hm, that's an interesting approach Colin. i'll keep it in mind.

i think de Brijder, like Bouman GGZ (here in the Rotterdam area) are mainly GGZ organisations (comparable to public health services?). therefore they're of course very prone to the powers that be treatmentwise.
all the same, i've found there are people that work there who are actually open to new treatments, to anything that works. of course they have to deal with the system (the head of medical research at the Brijder has stated in response to someone popping up the matter of baclofen "we don't do baclofen over here" - "Baclofen, daar doen we hier niet aan") but there are people at work there that don't give a shit about what managers state, and just do as they themselves think fit.

and yes, i'm including that report. found some more very interesting readings at for instance DonQuixote's thread. i'm gonna try and make a short overview about baclofen, with referrals to those reports.

haven't read that Ne. a good and beautiful friend of mine got cancer after a year of 24-hours psychotherapy, and died within a fewmonths, just while she was ready to conquer the world, having worked through her traumas. a nightmare.

reading your replies makes me purr like a cat ( :l ), and also passionate.
i'm in contact with a psychiatrist as well, who was blabbering bullshit about baclofen when my mother informed him colleaguewise if he had experience with prescribing baclofen for alcoholism. supprisingly, afterwards he kept informing how things worked out for me using baclofen. i'm planning to give him my story as well. and also contacting some of the people at Bouman GGZ i have good experiences with (who didn't treat me like a moron but like an equal) and who might well be open to my story.

fuck i've got a bad case of the flu on top of things now. whereas i've had night sweats over the last few months, right now it's completely crazy. it'd be better to sleep in a batk tub or something. just don't know how to manage it. turning my covers all the way around and about until every corner is soaked, towels and stuff. it's a fucking drag i tell you.

although i have a nasty examination coming up soon, a colonoscopy (doctor in diving suit and with snorkel and stuff ) i'm keeping the option open that my body is reacting to the heavy turnabout getting off AL. of course antibiotics helped with some infections, but i find it very plausible that my intestines are going through some rough detox.

today starting on 175mg baclofen. somnolence is getting less, and i feel more and more alive and passionate, sometimes very frustrated (which is good!). no inclination to go back to boozing.

had a period of heavy nightmares, working through old issues. and how beautiful: over the last few nights a lot of these same dreams are returning, to have a different outcome now.

apart from my body acting up in all kinds of ways, man, this is so wonderful.

[TexasAg]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna_d;1464869 wrote:
although i have a nasty examination coming up soon, a colonoscopy (doctor in dicing suit and with snorkel and stuff ) i'm keeping the option open that my body is reacting to the heavy turnabout getting off AL. of course antibiotics helped with some infections, but i find it very plausible that my intestines are going through some rough detox.

today starting on 175mg baclofen. somnolence is getting less, and i feel more and more alive and passionate, sometimes very frustrated (which is good!). no inclination to go back to boozing.

had a period of heavy nightmares, working through old issues. and how beautiful: over the last few nights a lot of these same dreams are returning, to have a different outcome now.

apart from my body acting up in all kinds of ways, man, this is so wonderful.

Howdy Jo!

Sorry about the flu and detox, but I had to laugh at your colonoscopy description. :H

It's great to hear no inclination of boozing. Sounds like the boozing is over but your body is making it "interesting" :egad:

I like the good dreams I have with Bac. The bad dreams not so much, but those are fewer and farther between.

Cheers!

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

hi Tex,

ah! a typo!

well, it's a bit of a drag sometimes as it takes up a lot of time and energy, not to mention good nights sleep. it was a bit of a bummer to finally be AF, ready to rock, and then kind of tripping over my body.
all the same, i'm so enjoying the energy i'm gaining every week now (ever more now going down on bac).

i think the nightmares were eruptions of all the stuff i had piled up inside me, anger, fear, pain, and what not i never had a chance to really resolve because of my continuous drinking.
and now they pop up one by one to be released (like psychological farts if you will, to stay in the jargon).
not only in dreams, but in everyday life as well. amazing, really.

by the way: so good to read your story at the sweet success thread! thanks for sharing.

[dundrinkn]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Hello Jo,
Hope you are feeling better. I am so enjoying the dreams on bac. I realized after one last night that even when I find myself in fearful situations in my dreams, I am not getting flooded with adreneline, but instead am just calmly dealing with what is at hand, and often kicking some ass. I am hoping this is how my waking life will be unfolding soon.
Take good care.