just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

[kronkcarr]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna,

Thanks for your update. It's so cool how our lives can change in a relatively short time. I am so happy for you!

[StuckinLA]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

That's awesome, Jo! Can't believe it's been 6 months already...

And if your FB page is any indication, you're drawing again, yes? So, so happy for you.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

yes, drawing again! and my drawing too has undergone a transformation.
it took a while (messing round) but now i've found a thread that's sucking me in. way larger format, very exciting. i feel the obsession again: "more! more!"
haven't posted any of it on fb yet, what i post there are little scribbles. i'm actually way (way!) less on fb then before. too much going on that i want to live.

thanks for your replies you all :l
skullbaby, glad to have inspired you some. it's more than worth it, this baclofen journey. happy you've found you're way to baclofen, and to this forum that's been such an indescribable support to me.

by the way, for clarity: i didn't start diminishing bac until 2 months after switching.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

just decided to go bac up a bit.
wine at my birthday, left over bottles meaning a few evenings of drinking over the last week. though it's all moderate drinking, still i'm apparently feeling the urge again...
hope a small tiration will be enough (!!). i've been on this dose for weeks before this happened, without thinking of drinking.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

hi people, bit desperate again i'm afraid.
and drunk as well. didn't know i had it in me, still.

what it comes down to: people in the street i live in have been harrassing me to the point where, last friday, i decided to take a break from home for a while and go and stay with a friend in the country.
i basically fled my house. there's this one woman who started it all, gossiping about me to (same culture) people in the street, and now i can barely leave my house without being threatened. happy when it rains, 'cause then they won't be sitting out there en masse. her gossiping started of course about my presumed drinking (haven't been drunk in 7 months now), and when that didn't ave the wanted effect, turned into just plain lies and stuff.
in the country now, so quiet round here.
and finding myself just wanting to drink. had some wine left, now going for the whiskey leftovers. alone out here for some days.

[Xadrian]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Hey Jo, long time no see.

Everyone of us can still go drunk (except for the ones that also take refusal/antabuse) if we choose to.

Even after the switch, we still have our past, present and future problems.
Baclofen repairs your hardware, but you yourself have to repair the corrupted software.

Regarding the neighbour problem: before I try to give you any advice, I need more detailed information.
Send me an e-mail if you want.

Try to overthink your options yourself also.

[kronkcarr]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Hey, Joanna,

Wow. I'm sorry about your hassles with your neighbors. That's gotta be tough and I get why you now like the rain.

A friend from here and I were talking about drinking AT people. We both got angry at someone and we both drank at them. I don't know his whole story, but I do know mine. Someone's behavior really pissed me off and I bought a drink on my way home from work. I caught my behavior and realized she had no idea that I drank "to show her" (more likely to make her disappear). She probably had no idea I thought her behavior was bitchy. I just did it without thought--what a habit!

Is this what you're doing? Or something different?

[skullbabyland]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Wow, Joanna, that sounds like a seriously shitty situation with those neighbors. I agree with Xadrian that more detail is probably needed, but I have to ask- is it something that warrants getting the police involved? You shouldn't have to feel threatened entering or leaving your own home. And you shouldn't feel like you need a haven from your home- home should BE your haven.

Any thoughts on what can be done to diffuse and neutralize the situation so you can go back to being home, healthy and working on your sobriety?

[RedThread12]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Oooopsie, eh, Joanna? All I have to say is "I'm sympathetic with your distress." I'm feeling pretty distressed, too. I haven't taken a high dive into a ottle of wine, but phuck! This is hard. Dr. Ameisen's death was the first of 5 - I kid you not - 5 beings whose lives had great import in mine, 2 of iconic stature, who passed into primordial consciousness since July 19.

WTF??? I really don't know which way is up . . . and that would be the case, drinking or not. You'll sort it out. I'm planning to sleep a long, long time. Don Juan, the Yaqui shaman, also said, "i have very little time. And none of it is for crap." That's helping me prioritize. May you find a phrase, a feeling, a color . . . that guides you. Because you know, we are all on our way out. I hope you can phind a way to get the phucking neighbors away from you, or you them; or at least, from the center of our radar. You'll be more than phine, some more.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

hi both, and thanks. have to be quick, ?ause my battery is running low (forgot a cable. fortunately someone can pick it up for me at home, so i don't have to go there myself. i'll get it this thursday).
end of the week i have to be in rotterdam for work, and i'm staying at my studio then for the night. meanwhile looking for another appartment, which isn't easy.

Xadrian, i'll email you when i have the cable!

and Kronkcarr, drinking at people, yes, something like that. an excorcism
don't get me wrong, i''m not at all worried about the drinking. i know i'm not addicted right now, because of baclofen. fortunately the hangover is doable.

i've been doing quite well actually, apart from the tension building up in my street and keeping my head up high amidst the anger of others. it's just so weird! why?? i've always been nice to people there! another absurd thing, is the gossiping started a few months ago, about me being a drunk.
like i was being locked back into a room i myself haven't been in for more than 7 months now.

i'm still om 100mg. i posted in Xadrian's thread i wanted to go up a bit, cause i was drinking (1 or 2 glasses) a few times a week. tried going up by 12.5mg (half a pill), but the se's were too much, so i got down again after a week, to find out i was well able to manage my drinking as i see fit.
it's just getting used to having the choice. i never had that.
only one glass of wine makes me very tired the next day, so i choose not to drink most of the days.
and sometimes, like yesterday, it's like i slip into an old behaviour. feeling miserable, taking it out on myself, and then drinking. though it just doesn't do it for me. but okay, having done that, today will be a sober day. way better.

one more thing i wanted to tell you: a close friend of mine has been suffering from an eating disorder for decades. tried everything to get away from it, nothing really worked. i suggested she try baclofen (knowing there are some trials with eating disorders, though very few). couldn't hurt to try, i guessed.
and she switched last week!!! at 200mg. craving: gone!! fantastic!!

have to post now, before my laptop goes down. cheerio!

[bleep]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

Man, what sort of neighbourhood do you live in? Sounds hectic.

It sounds to me like you panicked a bit about drinking, but you seem to have that under control. I'd also want a drink with neighbours like that.

Amazing news about your friend!

[StuckinLA]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

bleep;1538147 wrote: I'd also want a drink with neighbours like that.

I did drink with neighbors like that--that's why I moved! :H

Sorry to make light of the situation, Jo. Sounds like they're a bunch of ninnies who need to get lives. That blows--I'm just sorry to hear that it's affected you so. Hopefully getting away for a bit has helped.

Thinking about you and hope things improve! :l

[thomas m]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

I know the type all too well Joanna.

Sounds like a typical UK housing estate. (Not saying your from the UK Joanna) People can be down right nasty and I've seen some truly terrible neighbours in my time. I've been lucky, I've only ever moved twice and both times have had good luck with neighbours but if your landed with a bad lot they can make your life a living hell.

[joanna_d]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

mmhmm, what to write..?

reading your replies was heart warming, thanx a million!

i'm on my mobile now, returned to town last thursday after two weeks of water (gigantic amounts of it. the house my friend lives in is practically sea shore), space, and hardly a sole around.
at a certain point it felt like the sea and wind just passed right through me.
i've decided not to go back home, to live that is. my studio is a large and quite place, i've got 2 class rooms in an old school building. i'm gonna live here until i've found a new place. chance i get caught is minimal and only downside appears to be the lack of shower and kitchen.

but while i'm finding all of this quite alright, nice to be surrounded by my work, getting inspired and seeing the possibilities of staying here for a while, what i've done the past few nights is drink and smoke pot. feeling numbed out the next day, reading, taking a nap, reading some more and just sliding into repeat.

[StuckinLA]

just started with baclofen, a bit desperate

joanna_d;1542054 wrote: but while i'm finding all of this quite alright, nice to be surrounded by my work, getting inspired and seeing the possibilities of staying here for a while, what i've done the past few nights is drink and smoke pot. feeling numbed out the next day, reading, taking a nap, reading some more and just sliding into repeat.

That actually sounds amazingly meditative, relaxing, and even a little productive to me, Jo. Except the numbness. I know you don't want to slide back into bad old habits--but I am a little jealous to be completely honest.

I don't think I have any advice. But I am thinking about you and wishing you well. :l