Is this possible with Baclofen?

[evieb73]

I have been trying desperately to give up drinking for 2 years now and in this time suffered anxiety, depression and suicidal thinking. I have ok days and for the most part of these 2 years have managed to stay sober, or dry drunk, never quite understood any of this until I experienced it! I feel I have lost sight of my qualities, my vitality and my spirit in this time which leaves me feeling stuck in a cycle of anxiety and self pity,........... it sucks to the enth degree!
When I do drink I tend to go on 2 or 3 day binges and it is not cause I want to drink any more it is just to take the anxiety away and to help me to feel! When I am sober I most definately have dysphoria and I seem to be grieving for something that is still very much alive, its in the shop, in the pub, on the tv, yet I am supposed to be putting it to rest like a recently lost relative. It once used to bring me to life, fill me with love, but now takes me away from life................. but then so does staying sober.
I am mostly desperate because I have lost that once, although only in snippets, blind faith that AA would work for me. Because i am in a cycle of negativity and fear I end up going to an AA meeting and feel even more depressed the next day, hadn't been for a week, went last night and am drinking again today, maybe it is something to do with facing my fears. "A person won't change until the fear of change is less than the fear of staying the same!" Even tho I have just managed to get a new sponsor I am fkd if I want to sit in another AA meeting. I want to sit with someone who understands that in order to tell them about my need to drink, I need to have a drink. Not quite conducive to AA. I have amazing friends who love a drink who I have pushed and pushed away because of my fear of drinking and listening to what they say in AA.
So the way I see it right now is, I am practicing a harm reduction programme, doing my best to keep it together to stay at work and drinking one to two bottles of wine a day! That is until the baclofen arrives! I feel I have done more damage trying to stay sober but being so down than I would have just keeping on drinking! I have been on and off antidepressants, anti anxiety drugs all the ones Dr A tried to no beneficial effect. I have suffered depression for about the last 25 years but equally been highly functioning and successful (probably a personality disorder) and the only time I don't feel ashamed of this and locked into this is when I have had a drink!
At least when I was a functioning alcoholic I was able to hide my dark side, live at times in the light and most importantly be loving, productive and caring. Since I have tried to stop drinking I am none of these!
Anyway enough of the I, I, I, I, I. I am fully aware this is my affliction. I just want what Dr A and many others here have achieved to get my head from out my arse and feel like I can live again, FEEL AGAIN, without fear and without alcohol.

Is this possible with baclofen?

I guess I am most afraid I will take it but still feel spiritually disconnected.
I am optimistic about the link with baclofen and autism as I have often felt very emotionally connected with alcohol and when functioning with alcohol but without alcohol I feel emotionally unable to respond, sometimes locked in by fear of expression and confused by the world around me, have felt this deep down for a long time and with the lack of alcohol dampening down the flames.............I am holding it together but very badly.
I just want back a sense of self and a sense of respect and love!
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!!!!! Not asking much!
Ta ra! :

[ifulovelife2]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

Wow, well, lots of deep questions and emotions. The problem (and probably a very good reason for me not to answer), is that I'm a bloke and therefore don't really understand emotions. At least not in the same way as a woman does. It's kinda like colours. Women know of all sorts of colours, like teal, cobalt and aqua, while blokes just know them as blue. So, the bloke answer to your question is: yes, baclofen will sort you out. Well, it will (probably) allow you to stop drinking alcoholically, if that is what you actually want to do. The rest of your problems/issues/concerns you'll need to address separately, but at least you should be able to do so without the constant craving of booze getting in the way.

Hi, by the way.

[evieb73]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

Moi

How did it help you then?

Because I am pissed again tonight the person I was before is still no pos ible! I need support but it doesn't come in the form of AA, i find the people generally quite self obsessed and only interested in you because they want to talk about themselves.
I jus want a solution tthat means I don't feel isolated without the booze.

Do you not drink now? Do you go to AA ever?

:l

[lostsole]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

AA, counseling, campral, naltrexone did not work for me.

Baclofen has been a big help for me. It may help you with anxiety also.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

evieb73;1398239 wrote:

Because I am pissed again tonight
I am assuming you mean pissed in the British sense, since you're British.
But it stands the other way too, in that you're pissed off. I would be too. Being a drunk sucks. I should know! I was one for a looooooooooong time.
I'm not anymore. Baclofen did it when nothing else did. And don't think I didn't try! hayzeus. I tried. (EDIT: Sorry if that's rude. I don't mind saying I was a drunk, but if you do, apologies.)

evieb73;1398239 wrote: the person I was before is still no pos ible!

Oh yes she is. I am WAY better than I ever was, thank you very much. (That might not be saying much, however. :H)

I can't stick around 'cause I'm in the midst of too much stuff right now. But I wanted you to wake up to a cheery "Haaaalllllllllooooooooo!" And a big American grin.
It gets SO MUCH BETTER. Just hang in and hang on.

:l

[evieb73]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

Thank you
What do you do if AA makes you worse but you think it is the only option, you have told anyone you don't drink any more. You have friends in AA who say recovery rocks, they have reached their first year! You feel lousy!! You get pissed and love it!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

You just described every attempt at AA recovery I've ever experienced. And I'll up you one and add that after my last 30 days of rest in a rehab, I spent 5 years living the lie that I did not drink. And drinking every single night.

Until baclofen I don't think I've ever put 30 days together. Not ever, not once, in at least a decade. Except in rehab, of course.

AA made me feel terrible. About myself. About other people. About god.
I still have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it. But I went to my first meeting in a year last week and it...wasn't so bad. I love my people. And I like the program, now that I'm not depending on it to "keep me sober."

This is WAY too deep for this time of night. Where's IfYouLoveLife or StuckinLA? You need a grin, not a deep discussion.

Night, sister. Hang in there. HUGE :l

[ifulovelife2]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

I'm not really the best person to talk about AA, as I've only ever been to 3 meetings. What I can say is that my desire to drink increased as soon as I left the rooms. And at one of them everybody appeared to have Glaswegian accents. This was in Ascot. Very strange.

[StuckinLA]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

I really liked the AA meeting I went to every week for the... I dunno like 2 months I went to AA. But I really like listening to stories--so the only thing that could've made AA better, in my humble opinion, is liquor because the coffee was terrible and did not get you drunk. And while I never bothered meeting any of the people there, I still think of them fondly and often. Especially now that they have a 2nd meeting in the neighborhood every week, right across the street from my favorite bar. So I look across the street and think about even waving when I'm smoking a cigarette on the sidewalk out front of the bar, but instead I just go back inside.

Mind you it's now completely up to me whether I drink shots and beers all night long or club soda. I've tried both. Last week it was shots and beers, and that was OK for a night or two, but this week I'm just not feeling it so it's club soda. If I'm feeling really crazy it'll be a Virgin Mary (I can already sense a virgin joke lurking in the wings, ILL ).

So yeah, um, I actually forget what we were talking about here? Getting virgins drunk at AA meetings? That couldn't've been it... Oh, right, AA is depressing as hell and makes you want to drink more, not less, and don't worry about that because now there's this little blue pill you can take, and that'll help with the virgins but there's another pill you can take that'll help fix the alcohol.

But neither pill will get the virgins drunk, so you're still (not) screwed there, sorry.

[desperados]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

First of all :welcome: to the forum evieb73.

Btw, The vast majority of us here are AA dropouts (just my assumption and/or observation)
But one of the things I've learned while attending numerous AA meetings is that I can only speek for myself.

So here it is, a brief testimony of my AA encounter:
Initialy I was introduced to AA as the last and most effective resort of help for the most severe-desperate (hence my drivel) alcoholics like myself.

I've loved the God concept, the option of beeing spiritual without beeing overly religious.

But this is pretty much all what I liked about those meetings.
The rest was a whole bunch of white knuckling prejudice folks, making lousy jokes and forcing themselvs to hugely overdo their response with fake histerical loughs.
I have to admit that nobody was loughing though after fairly frequent announcements that certain member of the grup/s has relapsed and will never rejoin it due suecide.

[nancy]

Is this possible with Baclofen?

will baclofen help you?

I don't have experience with medication personally, I did want to suggest a few books:
Lance Dodes, Heart of Addication (the causes of addiction, psychological approach)
Ken Anderson, How to Change Your Drinking (harm reduction)

The Dodes book may help you understand better the causes and also feel better about why programs are not working for you. The Anderson book will help minimize harm caused by it.

What you asked about anxiety is interesting. I know that is Amieson's theory about the cause of alcoholism and it is clear on this forum and in life that some people suffer from quite severe anxiety that alcohol soothes and that baclofen also works on.

Take care and good luck! You will get a lot more advice from people experienced with these medications in particular.