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    #16
    Honesty sometimes is the best policy

    Winning!;1413050 wrote: At the risk of being a bore, what dose of Topa are you taking and how long have you been taking it? I was NOT able to go longer than four tortured days without wine without Topa. I tried the program for more than a year. I bought the Topa and kept it in my cabinet for more than a month cause I was scared to use it. I went on a huge bender and after embarrassing myself in front of my 13-year-old daughter and husband for the umpteenth time, I woke the next morning, apologized and secretly cut the 25 mg pill and half and took it. No SE but felt "stupid." I did 15 mg for a week and to "celebrate" my sobriety, had so many drinks of wine, I don't remember what I did so, the next morning I upped it to 25 mg and that is where I am at right now. I still have the urge to drink...so am thinking of upping it. I can't have one drink or I'm out of control. Wonder what the "magic" dose is? I see some are successful at 75 mg. Some at 100 mg. Some take more.... Wow, I would have never guess this this would be my journey. I so admire everyone on this site and hope that I can someday be among the senior members and others who are really taking charge of their lives and getting a handle on this. Even if they fail, they are still getting up and starting again. Wow. I'm so impressed. Take care.
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3063512/

    Improvement of physical health and quality o... [Arch Intern Med. 2008] - PubMed - NCBI

    Oral topiramate for treatment of alcohol dependence: a randomised controlled trial : The Lancet


    The Topamax Trip. A Forum for everyone including Alcohol cessation. The Topamax Trip Forums There's discussions about alcohol a few pgs back.

    Crazy Meds: The Good, The Bad, & The Funny of: Topamax Complete Page If you re-word your google search you will find old forums at crazymeds where peeps discuss the schedule, however imo it's too fast of a titration up.

    Topamax to treat alcohol dependence

    Hi Winning,

    I included some links to Topa if you want or have time to read, but no biggie if you don't. Also a forum just for Topa peeps.


    Back in 07-08 my PDr. (same one I have today) started me out on 50mg for two wks at bedtime, then increase to 50mg during day. I too was very scared of Topa. I did follow his RX, but couldn't do the 2nd increase for more then a wk. Just did 25 mg in am. This was my maintenance dose at 75mg. Today about the same.

    I'd reached a point I was more scared of dieing, being wet brained, possibly prison. I have two beautiful daughters in their twenties, long time marriage, daughter, sister, grandaughter, friend, worked at diff times outside of home, home owner, blah ~ blah ~ blah. You can't tell by looking at me, or talking to me f2f, well most the time speaking of the later that there's anything diff about me then every body else. I was drinking way too much & had heard scary stories from recovery groups. Yep they are true too!... I was shedding SOME of my denial layers back then. Also times of modding, harm reduction, sipping, gulping, hiding. Tried it all. Life is so much better out of the hamster wheel now!

    This time around with Topa I did closer to the MWO titration schedule. Week # 1. 25 mg for two wks . Week # 2. Add another 25 mg. for another 1-2 wks your now at 50 mg. Your now at wk 3 or 4. The slower titration up the better. If you notice tingling in your hands or feet this is generally a good sign. Don't go up to fast with Topa. The most common SE beside tingling is a bit of brain fog, but most of us are used to this from drinking, hahaha or really ((( You can keep increasing at between 15 -25 mg every 1-2 wks. I keep a journal of how it makes me feel. Oh, & the brain fog, or forgetful word here & there for myself tends to go away after about 3-4 wks after ea increase. I just had to go back down to 75 mg. But, I'm 50 so I attribute some of my forgetfulness to this, along with all my drinking days & just plain life. I have no tingling anymore. Pop taste funny, except 7-up, but I rarely drink it. The benefits far outweigh the risks. Drink lost of water with fresh lemon if you can. Helps to detox & return your body back to a state of alkalinity.


    There is a Topamax board here under this forum. SunshineDaisy is like the Mother there. She & the other ladies may be of help to you, are all very nice. I thought I had the titration schedule in my e-mail, but I couldn't find it. Its a mess right now. I think it's 25mg increase once per wk up to 300 mg. I'm thankful I never had to go that high. Scares me.

    As I said the other day I still crave some days, but it's manageable. My PDr who's board certified in addiction discussed going up to 200mg with me. He's been practicing for 40 yrs. Also on staff at a leading teaching Uni. in USA. I trust him!!!... There will always be differing opinions that's good!!! Science wouldn't be science without thinking outside the box. I'm a big advocate for science & research. Except my drinking LOL.

    Also I have this written down in my office drawer so I can find. Here at MWO. Under Our Message Board History ~ Best of Boards ~ Medication. It's 4 pgs I think. It talks about changing dosing times around as Topa can effect peoples neuro transmitters diff. It gives me energy. But, I have thyroid issues. Plus peoples work schedules are diff to. Some people it may make them tired. You just have to try it to know if it's going to work for you. I think 3 months is a fair amount of time. Please don't stop taking it just over a few little side effects, unless its really intolerable & making your life miserable!!!... After all the SE's are minimal for most compared to the harmful consequences of drinking!!!.... Stick it out!!!! From the things I've read it doesn't work as well after starts & stops, unless there's a lengthy quit in between like myself. Were tough people!!!....

    Oh & I just found my calendar. Started out taking 25 mg pm to lessen SE's on 3/7/12. Titrated down with beer during this time. Increased another 25 mg am on 3/14 so that was only one wk. I noticed the switch in my brain at 50 mg two days later. On 3/17 had one beer. Increased two wks later 50 am & 25 pm. Was sober almost two months, then had to experiment & do more research. As if I hadn't already done enough of that in my drinking career. Sigh!!!!...................... I drank for ten days, last two heavy again, stopped.

    Now sober almost 6 months. But, like I said in my previous post I'm an alkie & one of my problems is I think too much!.... I was afraid of many things, including topa. Look how well it's treated me!!!! Hope it does the same for you!!! I also learned some behavior enhancement survival ~ coping skills along the way from various places. In general for many of us to be successful in AF sobriety, we have to tackle this using many diff approaches. My Topa helps with the physiological part so that I can work on other areas in my life. I protect my sobriety carefully!!! I don't drink today " No Matter What ~ No Matter Who" I can tell you that I think better, I'm happier & healthier than I've been in years. Oh & my family is to. Previously was only able to get short stints without topa after 07-08 when I was on it b4. Longest times were around 103 days. My brain needs the Topa to help re-wire it.

    I don't know what your switch dose will be? It's diff for everyone. Keep reg ck ups with your Dr. But, I do definitely understand the fears, the endless ~ repeated torture, the embarrassment to self & family for the gazillionth time!!!! Sigh!!!................ I absolutely know that when I start drinking almost always I can't control my consumption, it controls me. I never know when something bad will happen either, or if I would remember. It's reoccurring & progressive. As we age it wrecks havoc on our bodies even if it's not stealing our souls & spirits. The stupid brain fog on Topa imo go's away as I already said!!! Frankly, I'd rather have that then all the other negatives that coming with drinking poison!!!!


    Think of your new journey as an exciting new life, one of where you won't have to live the negative way you lived in the dark abyss of alcohol poison hun. How wonderful your ~ your families lives are going to become. Healthier, happier, contented. Cultivate a positive attitude. Your doing great Winning. If you have any ? you can Pm. PS. Your not a bore!!! It's those other crazy peeps. :H

    Good Luck & You Can Do This!!!! Stay Close To MWO. This Place Is Fabulous!!!.......


    Take Care,

    Wildflowers :h

    Comment


      #17
      Honesty sometimes is the best policy

      Winning!;1413052 wrote: Oh, and the Winning! is in reference to Charlie Sheen.... :-( I wasn't taking myself too seriously as I haven't been too successful yet...but I'm trying!!!! I'm now going to think of it as...I'm beating this!!!!! But I'm still not going to get cocky cause every time I do, this little bugger bites me and I LOVE dogs!
      I think for just starting out your doing great! :goodjob: I only attempted quitting, um.... I forgot. I lost count after 99 times, or is that 509.

      It's "One Day At A Time" :-)

      You have a great attitude, that's a huge part of this battle!!! It's not always a battle!!! It's a joy to be sober & to see our families happy to ) To look in the mirror & have regained self respect & renewed confidence in ourselves. All of us together can get thru the hard times to. :l

      I see your wise, not getting to cocky. We don't have to be serious all the time, even tho it's a serious thing, it can be managed.

      You love dogs ~ fantastic!!! My type of gal. I luv all furbabies!!! :h

      We should get Mr. Sheen over here on that other thread. I think he might fancy MWO & get himself clean & sober. Maybe some of those talented comedians over there will send him a tweet, or would that be Pweet. :H LOL.

      Comment


        #18
        Honesty sometimes is the best policy

        Oh my God WF! Your story sounds so much like mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        First, no disrespect to Charlie Sheen. He is hilarious and truly talented. Not to mention a cutie. I'd answer his posts day or night anytime. (wink, wink!)

        Next, thank you, thank you, thank you for the info on topa. I will try to find the info on this site. Also, I think we are the same age and I have thyroid issues too! I don't know if the drinking caused the thyroid issues or the thyroid issues made the drinking worse....hmmmmm.

        I just know I'm not like others. I can't have a glass and not GULP. I can't have one and not want to keep on going! I have many nights of black outs. Shoot, that is my norm. Most people can have wine with dinner. I can't seem to anymore. I get sloppy drunk and now my cute little thing is I get mad for no apparent reason. WT...? The brain fog for me is now normal. So, I'm not worried. I'm also chugging around 25 extra pounds. I used to be a fitness instructor so this is a lot of extra weight for me. I was thinking lately, now that I'm more sober, that there are a lot of "used to be's" in my life. WF, I'm hoping to get them back.

        Hope all is continues to go well with you and thank you for responding and providing info. I feel like we are kindred spirits. (Not that kind of spirits either!) LOL. Oh, and Charlie, if you are reading this, drop me a line!

        Comment


          #19
          Honesty sometimes is the best policy

          Winning!;1413611 wrote: Oh my God WF! Your story sounds so much like mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          First, no disrespect to Charlie Sheen. He is hilarious and truly talented. Not to mention a cutie. I'd answer his posts day or night anytime. (wink, wink!)

          Next, thank you, thank you, thank you for the info on topa. I will try to find the info on this site. Also, I think we are the same age and I have thyroid issues too! I don't know if the drinking caused the thyroid issues or the thyroid issues made the drinking worse....hmmmmm.

          I just know I'm not like others. I can't have a glass and not GULP. I can't have one and not want to keep on going! I have many nights of black outs. Shoot, that is my norm. Most people can have wine with dinner. I can't seem to anymore. I get sloppy drunk and now my cute little thing is I get mad for no apparent reason. WT...? The brain fog for me is now normal. So, I'm not worried. I'm also chugging around 25 extra pounds. I used to be a fitness instructor so this is a lot of extra weight for me. I was thinking lately, now that I'm more sober, that there are a lot of "used to be's" in my life. WF, I'm hoping to get them back.

          Hope all is continues to go well with you and thank you for responding and providing info. I feel like we are kindred spirits. (Not that kind of spirits either!) LOL. Oh, and Charlie, if you are reading this, drop me a line!
          Absolutely no disrespect To Charlie!!!! He's one of us imo!!!... I do think he'd luv this place. LOL!!!..... Yes, what a hottie!!! Maybe he knows Colin Ferrel, Johnny Depp. :H

          The info I provided you on Topa is old as the studies were done yrs ago, but rest assured there are many trials still occurruing with Topa, as it's a good safe drug for many imo. Remember it was approved by FDA in 1996 for prevention of migraine headaches & seizures. As long as you titrate up slow, drink a full glass of water with it, don't already have glaucoma or kidney issues you should be fine. Of course I'm not a Dr, but you are under a Dr's care. I have a Complete Blood Count (CBC) & Comprehensive Metabolic Blood ( CMP) done every six months. My thyroid ( Graves Disease ) labs every three months. Relatively speaking I'm doing pretty well considering all I've done to myself.

          If your ready to ride the Alcohol Free (AF) sober train, why not start taking your 25 mg of Topa soon? You can drink on it, but try ta ease back a bit if you can *wink*. I had a couple of really good drunks b4 I got started (with Rx in hand), like a good alkie would. LMAO. Then jumped in a went for it. The beer helped me out. Maybe try drinking it instead of your favorite wine. Either type everything in an Excel speadsheet or a write it down in a note pad. Keeping track helps not only now, but to look back later.

          Yes, the thyroid exaberated my drinking. PDr. approved. I had a few private conversations with a friend here about this. She has good long term sobriety & is a smart cookie!!!.... I already suspected it. Had been diagnosed yrs back with GAD. I knew I had PTSD, but didn't want to talk about it to anyone for yrs. Alcoholism is known to be an anxiety driven disease. All this anxiety is eventually going to cause some depression eventually. If not already indicated. Fill that with a modern world of marriage, motherhood & work. Wow, alcohol is a great medication for a long time, until it doesn't work anymore. It's a depressant to, so it causes depression & too much of it causes more anxiety. It's a no win situation!!! It's just really not good at all, for alcoholics or problem drinkers to ingest!!!!........................................ .................................................. ..... It's ethanol, poison for us, at these quantities!!!!.................................... ..................... Sigh..........

          On the other hand it can be a whole lot of fun at times too. Dopamine & pleasure reward circuits in the brain. Oh feck how many yrs ago was that???? LOL Like exercise. Dreaming of Charlie or Colin. ) Same thing.... Shopping, gambling, sex, work,exercise, etc addictions.... Topamax is also known to lessen the effects of Dopamine in the brain, thus why some use it for harm reduction when drinking, modding. Tho I doubt the latter. I say feck that!!!!.... I drank for pleasure, to reduce anxiety & to escape my thinking. It all stopped working. I love being sober most the time. This is living!!!! This is freedom!!! :-)

          Good news there are many solutions on finding a way out today!!!!! )))) Oh & I've belonged to a few gyms to in my life. Was addicted to working out when I was younger, for a few reasons. Funny until the damn thyroid diagnosis at age 45, also laid off at my job. Now 20- 30lbs over weight. Thyroid not helping. My labs have flipped on me recently. I've gained 8lbs in one wk b4 & not changed diet or life style. ((( I even tried getting sober by working out, just to stop & buy wine, liquor, or beer.

          Now some people lose weight on Topa, I'm probably not on a high enough dose. However, my next big goal is to lose weight, then quit smoking....... I'm asking girls for Zumba dance for x-mas. Maybe I'll get my groove back too. :H ..... Peri-menopause now. I have a good attitude most the time about all of this tho. In all honesty, I'm focusing on my sobriety first & foremost!!!! Getting a solid foundation first in AF sobriety, then I can work on the other things. If I don't do that I won't have anything else!!!!

          I think we may be kindred spirits too. ) Not sure if you've visited the Newbies Nest ~ Under Just Starting Out? There are some wonderful people over there!!!! They are having fun staying sober!!!!.... Super Sunday Shout Outs ~ Under General Boards & ODAAT = "One Day At A Time" ~ Under Both Sections. If you do take a slip, don't worry!!!! We don't shoot the wounded here hun!!!!.... We help you get back up!!!! Of course you don't have to slip either, it's not a requirement!!!....

          Winning, stay on the AF sober train!!! Those "used to be's" are one day going to be your realities again!!!! You can do this & will do it hun!!!! )))

          Hope to be seeing ya around the boards.

          Wildflowers :h

          Comment


            #20
            Honesty sometimes is the best policy

            Yum, Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell! THAT put a smile on my face and I needed it. :H I messed up last night....drank a whole bottle of wine. Still, way better than I used to do...so....took my Topa this morning and am gonna get back up and dust myself off. I realize the holidays are gonna be tough. That PTSD is nothing to laugh at...I'm pretty sure I suffer from it. It sounds like you are doing the right things to help you mend. Take care, Happy Holidays, and thanks so much for the smile this morning!!!! :h

            Comment


              #21
              Honesty sometimes is the best policy

              Winning!;1413985 wrote: Yum, Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell! THAT put a smile on my face and I needed it. :H I messed up last night....drank a whole bottle of wine. Still, way better than I used to do...so....took my Topa this morning and am gonna get back up and dust myself off. I realize the holidays are gonna be tough. That PTSD is nothing to laugh at...I'm pretty sure I suffer from it. It sounds like you are doing the right things to help you mend. Take care, Happy Holidays, and thanks so much for the smile this morning!!!! :h
              I'm happy that put a smile on your face, it did mine too!... )

              I wouldn't go as far to say you messed up hun! This is pretty typical for many of us to slip & slide around. Look you had 8 days of sobriety, for which you should be congratulated on! :goodjob: ) You can re-build!... Your already drinking less to. I & others have had numerous starts & stops. Focus on all the good you've already accomplished & move forward from there. Just like when you were a fitness instructor.

              Starting your Topa is a great idea imo. Hopefully after one week on 25 mg you can titrate up to 50mg. Try & keep a calendar & also think about if your going to drink, drink something ya don't like as much. Don't forget the Topa thread here if ya have ??? Along with some of the other grrt threads. People her are super nice, supportive, & have grrt suggestions. Tool box under Monthly abbers is full of helpful tips on how to cope.

              Yes, The Holidays can be tough for new & old a like, but we can get thru them sober if we choose, have a plan. One of which is good support & there is plenty of that here hun!!!... Keep posting, when you have time, or even just read. It's important to stay connected & not isolate!!!....

              Hope to talk soon, when we both have time. Happy Thanks Giving ~ Happy Holidays. :h

              PS. Happy dreaming!... )

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