Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

[TexasAg]

Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

Raven, your story breaks my heart. I'm struggling to rebuild my marriage and your story and courage gives me strength. Keep fighting the good fight.

My prayers are with you!

[Raven2012]

Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

Hi Texas Ag, I hope you can rebuild your marriage, believe it or not. I haven't given up on mine.


My husband has an odd background. His dad had a drinking problem - and a highly controlling spouse, which likely contributed to his drinking. So controlling she would say "No drinking in the house" and confiscate everything. He had a handsome income and provided well but she wouldn't tolerate any drinking. So he'd sneak out whenever he wanted to drink. Which led to problems. DUI's, hotel bills. Abscences. Car accidents while drunk. I honestly think if she wasn't so controlling and let the poor man express his frustrations none of this bs would have happenned but she had to rule the home. And it was all or nothing. He died an early death and left her very wealthy and now she wishes she'd not been so tight but too late now. But this has been instilled in her son, my husband. Protect the assets, if nothing else, make sure we have $. He can kill himself but we have to take care of ourselves.

These phrases shaped my husbands thinking which in turn I think shaped his decision making the night he let me lay there in a highly precarious state.

I try to forgive him. The past is repeating itself. He's so controlling I find myself boxed in. And with no history of drinking in my past or my family, out of nowhere, find myself drinking. I'm beginning to think this has more to do with my spouse than myself. Its this feeling of being controlled, boxed in and with no place to go. Parameters getting smaller and smaller.

It's here that I have to remember the girl that I was and grab her and say we're going to get out of this. And now there are two sweet little ones. I think I can get through this. Slay the fear, I love the song you mention. It's beautiful. Texas Ag, I hope you can find peace whatever decision you make, its a see saw. Kradle, thank you for being there, seeing your beautiful kids and hearing your kind words give me hope.

Best, Raven

[paulywogg]

Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

hi raven,you sound so much better! i hope your doing well

[Slaythefear]

Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

Hi Raven. I just remembered to get over here and check this thread. I never come to this side of town, but you caught my attention one day.

The sound of the past playing into the present is something I've seen a lot of. We all do a certain amount of that behavior. Some recognize it and begin to change it; others recognize it and don't change it and some just don't see it at all. I'll say for me, I react like you. I look at their past and then give them so much leeway. I've done that with plenty of people, but my current marriage has become so abusive I am leaving it. I've done all I can. You sound like a bright woman who will know if you can get the relationship to a healthy place or not and act appropriately. It's taken quite a few noggin busters for me to finally say, "that's it"! I can't handle ANYMORE. I've said that several times, but I really am at the end. It is never going to change and that's what I have to accept now. The drinking did nothing but keep me in a state of denial and pacified to wait and wait and wait...more heartbreak...to the real breaking point.

I hope it works for you and if not you and that girl in you are happy with your children. I'm glad you like the song. It seemed fitting. I like it, too. I flop around here and there, so if you need a hug or an ear sometime, you can come let loose on me. lol

Best Wishes!

Love,

Slay

[Raven2012]

Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

Thank you STF for checking in. Sunshine D was nice enough to contact me and a truly appreciate everyone here. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. But for this little window of time, I kind of am. This is something I've got to give a try, I don't know if its going to work, and I owe it some time to see if it will. My heart will tell me if I've made the right choice. In the few weeks we've had with me helping him, he's been stubborn, nasty and then aplogetic and appreciative.

He knows I can guide him better than he can guide himself because his self esteem is so shot he can't think straight. He needs me as a coach. And I'm willing to give this a shot for our family. In the meantime, I've found a new job in two weeks so should he listen to my advice or what!!! When I retire my goal is to help people with resumes and career coaching because I have had a great track record with my career of getting and staying on top and always landing great assignments with little or no downtime. Thats why this situation is so maddening to me. I have a mere Bachelor of Science Degree but my dear HB is highly decorated with the most prestigeus schools. All paid for by his parents while I worked two jobs and took out student loans to pay for my little BS. Yet why can't he get out there and get a job? No one ever taught him how to be self sufficient. Too much hand holding. Worst thing you can do to a kid. He's helpless. Now his younger, less educated wife has to hold his hand through life because he had too much hand holding all along.

Sorry, I'm rambling. Thank you for listening. I agree with you Sunshine, the topimax is sending me into a depression. I'm cutting back. and hoping my spirits lift. In the meantime. Bless you all for listening.

[Slaythefear]

Topimax, Depression Weight Loss

NOT rambling, Raven. I understand every word of what you just posted. Everyone hear has had problems in life they have to address. Yours are no less important. Feel free to let it out. Making sure you are correct about something so important in your life is a good thing. You can't walk away from something and then wonder the rest of your life whether it was a mistake. Just don't lose YOU, and if you do, get back to finding her and being happy. We can't usually fix someone. I've been a basket case for learning that lesson, but I have learned it now! :upset: lol They must want to and then work on fixing themselves, just as we do.

Love,

Slay