Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

[joanna_d]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

so glad to hear you're feeling a bit better.

emdr at the same time...??? ehm... why on earth????? does your psych that gives you the emdr know about the baclofen?

i'd say: first finish the baclofen treatment and when you're up and dry, being sober for a while, having your system settled down, continue the emdr.
i (but who am i?) don't see how the two could work together, or could be supporting each other.
by the way, my mother is a psychologist and gestalt therapist and she also does emdr. if you want, i can ask her opinion.

also, after you've switched for a while, and without drinking, i think you'll find you'll have other perspectives on lots of other issues in your life as well. i for one see how so much inside me is changing very fast right now. a cascade!! the emdr would land on totally different soil in a few weeks.

[StuckinLA]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Hi Vera,

If you're set on coming off bac, please do it sloooooooowly, and, more importantly, be aware that all the negative feelings going on are just a bit of haywire brain chemistry and it does work its way out eventually, OK? Coming off bac can lead to some depression, and in conjunction with other meds it can be pretty severe, along with anxiety. Not sure what your history is, but try to keep front and center in your mind the fact that it's just some screwed up chemicals in the brain--not the end of the world. Just be ready for it.

I recently came off bac for my own reasons (from 240 to 0 between August and December), and it's a lot for a person to deal with. [EDIT: it has been another day or so.] you can PM me if you'd like. And I'll probably edit this in another day or so.

All the best.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Hi Vera!
I'm really sorry you're feeling so awful. Forgive the brevity (relatively speaking) of this response. I've got a houseful of family and projects at the moment!

The short version is this:

Sleep is key to everything. Getting a decent night's sleep changes just about everything. The fastest and easiest and most reasonable way to get a good night's sleep is medicine for that purpose. There are other ways of course, but those take a longer post! (Exercise, meditation/prayer, etc...)

The second thing is anxiety. You can't manage anxiety without getting a good night's sleep, and you have to manage your anxiety. (that is actually do-able! So hang in there, okay?!) Again, the easiest, fastest, most efficacious way to do that is with meds. There are several other ways to do it, too, of course. (Exercise, meditation/prayer, etc...)

I know that if I were in the position of feeling like I was taking too much baclofen, and I was completely miserable and in danger of having to give up, I would go down a bit. (Slowly, consistently. Say 10mg every several days to a week.)

I always felt like it had to be done NOW, and that I was never, ever going to get there. But what I know for absolute sure is that it takes equal measures of time and baclofen. You can't have one without the other.

Plus, it sounds like you may have found the solution you were looking for. I didn't have a "switch" so much as a "I just don't feel like it/can't stomach the thought of drinking." So I didn't. Then I didn't again. And then eventually I drank, got drunk, and woke up the next morning hating myself and how I felt. And then I didn't drink again for a long time...

What I'm saying is that it isn't magic. It's medicine. That's happy news!

I'll come back tomorrow morning (my time) and respond some more, because this was my version of a short answer!

Hang in Vera! It's very likely to be a very wondrous 2013 for you!
:l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

YIKES!
I started my response very, very early this morning (my time)--about 15 hours ago--and didn't finish it until just now. I didn't read your subsequent posts or all the responses.

That we lost Anna is so incredibly, outrageously sad that I have a hard time writing about it. It isn't the first, it won't be the last. We are a population of people who die before our time. And we're also a population of people who lose years and years and years to an illness that is treated with shame and scorn. It makes me so damn angry I definitely don't write about it in public places.

But you are not Anna. And what we can do, what we must do, is live and get well and help others do the same.

And please know this: The side effects you're describing? Many, many, many of us have experienced them. I have. Several people who are active now have. I thought I was losing my mind, Vera. I thought I would never get better. I was wrong. My mind is still intact. (Though my husband might argue the point. ) And I am better. In fact, I'm better than better. I am at my best. I didn't think it was possible, but here I am, whole and full of life for the first time in decades.

And you'll get here.

I would like to know about your days and your sleep...What's up with the EFT? Does your doc know about the bac? (Joanna, my mom is a psychologist. :H) Is your husband supportive?

Posting here will help. Please don't be self conscious. Well, we're all self-conscious about it (even me just a little bit! ) but do it anyway. It really and truly absolutely helps to share the burden. Because this stuff is HARD. And scary. And it shouldn't be and doesn't need to be.

I absolutely must go now! HUGE HUGS to all you peeps! I hope today is much better for you, Vera. xxoo

[Colin]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

StuckinLA;1432610 wrote: Hi Vera,

If you're set on coming off bac, please do it sloooooooowly, and, more importantly, be aware that all the negative feelings going on are just a bit of haywire brain chemistry and it does work its way out eventually, OK? Coming off bac can lead to some depression, and in conjunction with other meds it can be pretty severe, along with anxiety. Not sure what your history is, but try to keep front and center in your mind the fact that it's just some screwed up chemicals in the brain--not the end of the world. Just be ready for it.

just a bit of haywire brain chemistry Exactly. We are subjecting our brains to very severe changes in their environments - baclofen and other mind-altering drugs.

I woke at 3 this morning and found myself worrying about a relatively simple problem, the fact that baclofen seems to be limiting the times when my brain is running at full capacity. I know that a bit more sleep and/or baclofen will put that problem into perspective but the logic only makes sense after more sleep/baclofen. Objectively and dispassionately I know that changes in the brain's environment can cause an inappropriate importance to be attached to an event. I need to be able to change this objective assessment into the action of going back to sleep without medication. Tonight I took another 25 mg baclofen and slept through to 6 am. Still a little early for me but when I woke there were no big problems and I found myself ticking over fairly efficiently.

In another post Ne correctly refers to the importance of a good night's sleep. Whatever else is wrong a good night's sleep never makes things worse and it usually provides the space to consider your problems in a more realistic perspective.

[joanna_d]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Ne/Neva Eva;1432664 wrote:
Does your doc know about the bac? (Joanna, my mom is a psychologist. :H)

:H come to think of it, you once noted that in one of your replies. that's where i get a lot of my books from

EMDR is a type of trauma treatment.
it's quite new and has proven to be highly effective and fast working. i've never had it myself, cause when i was diagnosed with ptsd about 20 years ago, this technique wasn't there yet (or maybe just not supported everywhere)
it's very straining to your overall system, cause it involves reliving old trauma's in a certain (healing) way, so in the days that follow you have to make sure you've room for it all to settle down and integrate.
exactly what a high dose baclofen treatment needs, in my opinion.

[Vera]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Update

Just spent an hour typing a reply & have lost it all ARGH!!!!!! Thank you once again for all your kind replies.

Wish I could say I had a better night but I haven't I am climbing the walls seeing things, hearing things, I am just trying to tell myself it's sleep deprivation and hang on in there.

I have an emergency appointment this afternoon with my GP but I can't tell him about the Baclofen, he knew I was taking it back in September but was not happy with me
AT ALL & insisted that I came off it, which I did for a while but off my own back I started it again & I really wish at this moment I hadn't. I don't know what I am going to say to him today, and I don't really know what else he can give me I am already taking such a cocktail of things to try & keep me calm, maybe he might give me some Diazepam.

Ne you are so right without sleep everything is just blown out of all proportion I have to keep telling myself that.

I will leave it there for now as I am struggling typing :thanks: to you all again

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Oh how I hate losing a post.

I hope you found some resolution/a solution at the doc's. And I hope you'll keep in touch! I'm eagerly awaiting another update. (Even if you're still feeling badly. Especially then, actually. We are, when it all comes down to it, here simply to share the experiences and support one another.)

:l

[RedThread12]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Vera: My heart goes out to you. And at the same time, I'll tell you that many others have gone through variations of what you are experiencing, and come out the other side . . . successful.

I haven't been able to pin-the-tail on the donkey of baclofen success, but it's something about inner conviction, every bit of knowledge that can be gleaned, and the despair of knowing there is no other option. And, even among those with that rare combination, there's some "x" factor that is more focused on the outcome than on ALL of the intervening distractions.

I take, and have taken since before starting baclofen, seroquel. I find them extraordinarily complementary. I've never lost a night's sleep, regardless of my baclofen dosage. If you're taking seroquel during the day, well . . . that would be horrid, in my experience. After enough nights of not drinking and sleeping with the aid of seroquel, i quit taking Zoloft. Or, it quit taking me. Just went away. All the pounds I gained fell away with massive doses of L-Glute and All-One . . . . blah, blah, blah. Another baclofen success story, supported by lots of research, additional supplements and meds. And Ne's exactly right. We are here to share our experiences and resources for getting free from alcohol. No path is the same for any 2 people. But knowledge is power!!! Keep on, please. You CAN find your way out.

[struggles]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Vera~ PLEASE tell your dr. or even a pharmacist what "cocktail" you are taking. I took topa and had the same reaction you did with the thinking I was losing my mind. I, however, see an addiction doctor who only specializes in alcohol and meth addiction...don't ask, I don't know why only those two, but she is the only one who I could find to prescribe me the topa for my alcohol. I stupidly went off of it and landed myself in a two month bender ;( I am back to working on no drinking at all...I can't have just one. But, I found out that the topa did react with a couple of my meds that i take for high blood pressure and especially my antidepressant. She weaned me off the antidpressant as I found I didn't need it when I stopped drinking...imagine that, but I was NOT sleeping at all. She gave me a script for Trazadone which helps me sleep and is a sort of antidepressant, I guess. I don't take it daily, only at night when I feel like I can't sleep...of course with all the booze I consume, sleep is never a problem. Unfortunately, dr's are not the best experts on how other meds interact, the pharmacist is. When I have a question, I always call one and ask. They are usually very helpful, it's their job. Please update us on how you are. I have never taken Baclofen because of the other meds I am on, my dr. said it's not an option. Antabuse was an option and some other medication that I forget the name of, but it was a weekly shot that I had to give myself and "ouch" that was not happening, so I chose the topa. Hope you are well, I'm struggling daily myself, but each day seems brighter:l

[Vera]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Update

Just a quick one - I am going to write in more detail tomorrow. Thanks again for all your kind replies. My Dr was brilliant and I am so glad I made the decision to go and see him, I really wish I could tell him about the Baclofen but I know what the outcome would be to just stop taking it!!! It's so frustrating.

I am a bit calmer, he upped my seroquel by 100mg and also put me on a weeks course of librium just 20mg at night. It has helped take the edge off my anxiety and given me a little more sleep.

Well tomorrow will be a 1st for me - staying in and sober on New Years Eve!!! My husband is going out (I want him to) I intend to come on here & write in more detail.

So speak to you all tomorrow :l

[Alcoholic]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Hi, Vera: glad you are doing better and have a doc you like.... Some not as lucky... Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

[lostsole]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Glad it sounds like you are feeling better Vera!

[Vera]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

update

Hello and Happy New Year to everyone.

I am going to start this with an update and then tell my story. I don?t want to bore everyone but feel like it may be therapeutic in some way! I don?t know may even help someone going or gone through something similar.

Well I am now on 130mg of Baclofen & for the last two weeks or so have been using Liquid Bac. I think this is much better I don?t seem to have headaches anymore and not the same weary feeling during the day. I still have the tinnitus in left ear and still not brilliant sleep but a little bit better but that could be due to the high dose of Seroquel. Another thing I have noticed is aching shoulders I don?t know if this could be related or not? I am now taking my dose in 4 spaced doses, I think I read somewhere that can work better, before I was taking doses every hour which was inconvenient & not really working.

When I was in a bad way last week I was really ready for throwing the towel in with Bac but with all your positive comments and support I am going to hang in for a bit longer. My husband wants me off it mainly because of how bad I was last week.

So on a positive note I have now not had a drink for 7 days which is an amazing achievement considering it has been the season and all that!! I struggled a bit on New Year?s Eve but decided to stay in and not go to the party with my husband that would have just been too much. I am glad I did because it feels like 2013 is going to be a fresh new beginning.

I think I mentioned about my weight gain 14lbs in a short space of time ?yikes. I could blame the Bac because I have been lazy & feeling so low that I haven?t been exercising, also it has made me crave carbohydrates and basically anything and everything bad! Before bac I exercised 5 times a week & ate a lo-carb diet. So really it is no surprise to have piled on the pounds. I have exercised the last couple of days even though I really didn?t want to but once I got started I was fine and felt much better after. I am trying to read loads on LoOp posts and try and sort myself out.

I can't thank everyone enough for your support and advice, It is hard to believe that people I don't know can be so kind.

My story will follow next ? is it the right place to post it?

:l

[Colin]

Am I Ever Ever Going to reach the switch

Vera;1437431 wrote: Hello and Happy New Year to everyone.

My story will follow next ? is it the right place to post it?

:l

This is your thread. Post anything you feel like posting.

Good luck with 2013, it seems to have started very very well for you.