I've been AF for almost three years. In my thirties, I've gone as long as five years without a drink. Since then, though, I've had a couple of emergency room visits which were of my choice. The visits were quite embarrasing, by the way. My girlfriend stood by my side through these episodes, and I'm eternally grateful to her for that.
It looks like I'm not with her any more. The lonlieness through this holiday season has been almost unbearable. I'm California and what's left of my family (two sisters) are in other states. I was unable to afford a plane ticket to visit either of them.
I find myself wanting to once again drink. I've done this before, where I think I have it under control now, and can handle it. With my last episode at an out of town conference, I almost lost my job. That could have seriously thrown me over the cliff. I haven't had a drink since then, lost 60 pounds, and got my BP way under control.
I've tried baclofen before, and found immediate releif with it. During my last ER stint, I told the doctor about it, and how it can remove my cravings and treat my withdrawls, but she wanted nothing to do with it. My current doctor wouldn't prescribe it either. I just don't understand these doctors.
Anyhow, with my confidence and resilience waning, I finally ordered some bac online, and am still waiting for my order from New Zealand. It's been 9 days, and every day I eagerly check my mailbox for the delivery. I know from my past bac experience, that once it arrives, I can take one or two pills, go see a movie or something, and feel great.
My drinking stems from anxiety attacks. I have a deathly fear of public speaking, and being in group situations. Bac relieves this for me, and hence I don't drink.
I'm standing by waiting for my order. I just ordered the liquid bac today, just in case the NZ order takes forever to arrive. I won't drink today, but the lonlieness only continues and my desire to drink increases. During heavy drinking episodes where I couln't even shave, let alone go to work, I have been on my knees praying to god that I could find a cure for this.
It's Saturday, and I hope my order arrives today. Thanks, everyone. Peace.
It looks like I'm not with her any more. The lonlieness through this holiday season has been almost unbearable. I'm California and what's left of my family (two sisters) are in other states. I was unable to afford a plane ticket to visit either of them.
I find myself wanting to once again drink. I've done this before, where I think I have it under control now, and can handle it. With my last episode at an out of town conference, I almost lost my job. That could have seriously thrown me over the cliff. I haven't had a drink since then, lost 60 pounds, and got my BP way under control.
I've tried baclofen before, and found immediate releif with it. During my last ER stint, I told the doctor about it, and how it can remove my cravings and treat my withdrawls, but she wanted nothing to do with it. My current doctor wouldn't prescribe it either. I just don't understand these doctors.
Anyhow, with my confidence and resilience waning, I finally ordered some bac online, and am still waiting for my order from New Zealand. It's been 9 days, and every day I eagerly check my mailbox for the delivery. I know from my past bac experience, that once it arrives, I can take one or two pills, go see a movie or something, and feel great.
My drinking stems from anxiety attacks. I have a deathly fear of public speaking, and being in group situations. Bac relieves this for me, and hence I don't drink.
I'm standing by waiting for my order. I just ordered the liquid bac today, just in case the NZ order takes forever to arrive. I won't drink today, but the lonlieness only continues and my desire to drink increases. During heavy drinking episodes where I couln't even shave, let alone go to work, I have been on my knees praying to god that I could find a cure for this.
It's Saturday, and I hope my order arrives today. Thanks, everyone. Peace.