Has Balcafen Stopped thecMaryGoRound of Drinking?
Congrats Mary! That's great news.
I think the vast majority of us rush back down that bac ladder the minute we feel like the goal has been reached. I think I went from 320mg to about 100mg in about a minute and a half. Of course, then I went back up again promptly. I also drank again soon afterward. My husband was still drinking alcoholically at the time and it was easy enough (ha!) to have a beer or two with him in the evenings. While I don't think I have had an "alcoholic" drink since indifference, just drinking relatively regularly freaked me out and I quit for 30 days. The 30 days turned into many more, because by the time it was up, I realized I didn't care.
I also had a whole range of emotions. What I remember most clearly is being happy and carefree and pretty much gung-ho. But the reality was a lot more tumultuous than that. My mood even depended on the time of day, honestly. At one point I decided to participate here only in the mornings, because I usually woke up (pre-dawn) cheery and eager but by the end of the day, I was often overwhelmed, unsure and fearful about everything going back to being hellish. I think I was probably just exhausted, you know? 4 hours of sleep and very full days will do that...
It wasn't just the time of day, though. That summer was a period of euphoria interspersed with general malaise. I had so much TIME. Even now, when I'm busy all is well. When I'm not? oy vey. I need projects and things-to-do-lists to be happy apparently. And also some short term-ish goals. I can't just lay one brick on top of another. How boring is that? Neither can I focus on the cathedral when I've just started the foundation.
I just planted a garden. I have some master gardeners who freely offer advice, which is wonderful. I had to stop asking/listening, though. They keep encouraging me to plant all this stuff that will come to fruition years from now. pffffft. Dude, I want it big, and pretty, Right Now. Or at the very least by the end of the summer. I couldn't care less if the tree I just planted will die in ten years, or if they consider it a 'scrub' tree. It has pretty leaves and flowers and it grows more than a foot a year! I'll leave the acorn planting to someone who has the time and patience to wait for the oak.
There's a great article that I think I posted in the General Discussion area (a long time ago) about the mind of the person who has ADD. I won't digress into all of it, but the gist is that there is benefit to seeking out instant gratification, the quick high, the new challenge. Getting those dopamine receptors fired up in whatever positive way possible is important! And can be hugely beneficial, not just to stay off of the booze (though that is a big benefit) but also for success. It's been nice to accept that I will never be the kind of chick who plants acorns, you know? Or stores them away for the cold hard winter.
Btw, I know quite a few people who jumped around in terms of dosage after the fact. It's probably a good idea to stay mindful that one consistent dose is probably best (and what the docs would recommend, should they ever get around to recommending anything). But sometimes that just doesn't cut it, and you have to do what you have to do. EDIT: I don't want to be a hypocrite, or post that as though I'm suggesting that going up and down dramatically is something I think is a good idea. Good God, no. Please don't do that. I've seen some people who get seriously high and/or depressed doing that. This IS actually neuroscience, and brain chemistry is not to be trifled with. At least not my brain chemistry, anyway. Sorry for the clarification, but wanted to be...clear.
Hope the job interview went well! I would imagine a new job is certainly a ripe opportunity for dopamine rushes. If not, I highly recommend sex.
Congrats Mary! That's great news.
I think the vast majority of us rush back down that bac ladder the minute we feel like the goal has been reached. I think I went from 320mg to about 100mg in about a minute and a half. Of course, then I went back up again promptly. I also drank again soon afterward. My husband was still drinking alcoholically at the time and it was easy enough (ha!) to have a beer or two with him in the evenings. While I don't think I have had an "alcoholic" drink since indifference, just drinking relatively regularly freaked me out and I quit for 30 days. The 30 days turned into many more, because by the time it was up, I realized I didn't care.
I also had a whole range of emotions. What I remember most clearly is being happy and carefree and pretty much gung-ho. But the reality was a lot more tumultuous than that. My mood even depended on the time of day, honestly. At one point I decided to participate here only in the mornings, because I usually woke up (pre-dawn) cheery and eager but by the end of the day, I was often overwhelmed, unsure and fearful about everything going back to being hellish. I think I was probably just exhausted, you know? 4 hours of sleep and very full days will do that...
It wasn't just the time of day, though. That summer was a period of euphoria interspersed with general malaise. I had so much TIME. Even now, when I'm busy all is well. When I'm not? oy vey. I need projects and things-to-do-lists to be happy apparently. And also some short term-ish goals. I can't just lay one brick on top of another. How boring is that? Neither can I focus on the cathedral when I've just started the foundation.
I just planted a garden. I have some master gardeners who freely offer advice, which is wonderful. I had to stop asking/listening, though. They keep encouraging me to plant all this stuff that will come to fruition years from now. pffffft. Dude, I want it big, and pretty, Right Now. Or at the very least by the end of the summer. I couldn't care less if the tree I just planted will die in ten years, or if they consider it a 'scrub' tree. It has pretty leaves and flowers and it grows more than a foot a year! I'll leave the acorn planting to someone who has the time and patience to wait for the oak.
There's a great article that I think I posted in the General Discussion area (a long time ago) about the mind of the person who has ADD. I won't digress into all of it, but the gist is that there is benefit to seeking out instant gratification, the quick high, the new challenge. Getting those dopamine receptors fired up in whatever positive way possible is important! And can be hugely beneficial, not just to stay off of the booze (though that is a big benefit) but also for success. It's been nice to accept that I will never be the kind of chick who plants acorns, you know? Or stores them away for the cold hard winter.
Btw, I know quite a few people who jumped around in terms of dosage after the fact. It's probably a good idea to stay mindful that one consistent dose is probably best (and what the docs would recommend, should they ever get around to recommending anything). But sometimes that just doesn't cut it, and you have to do what you have to do. EDIT: I don't want to be a hypocrite, or post that as though I'm suggesting that going up and down dramatically is something I think is a good idea. Good God, no. Please don't do that. I've seen some people who get seriously high and/or depressed doing that. This IS actually neuroscience, and brain chemistry is not to be trifled with. At least not my brain chemistry, anyway. Sorry for the clarification, but wanted to be...clear.
Hope the job interview went well! I would imagine a new job is certainly a ripe opportunity for dopamine rushes. If not, I highly recommend sex.
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